FULMER CUPDATE: CROOM FOR RENT
The big board continues to swell with fresh points. This week's Fulmer Cupdate, as always, is brought to you by Brian, who continues to be hung like Reggie F'n Nelson.

Mississippi State bang-bangs their way onto the board with a murky "shooting incident" on campus in Starkville last Friday. Two players were involved for certain: Michael Brown and Quinton Wesley were both sent screaming off the team with all due speed following the shooting, and others may be involved since the Miss State roster was sporting a few conspicuous holes during their spring game Saturday. (Urban Meyer finds all of these punishments harsh.)
The incident began with the source of all trouble, naturally: a convenience store.
MSU Police Department Lt. Don Bartlett said an altercation at a convenience store near the campus the B-Quik store on East Lee Boulevard occurred a few hours before the incident at Zacharias Village and may have been the motivation for the gunshots at the residence hall complex, The Starkville Daily News reported.
H.I. and the entire Tennessee football team agrees: convenience stores are hellmouths of trouble for the young mind, with their slushees, cheap beer, lotto tickets and pork rinds. Virtue is staying away from them entirely, kids.
Cincinnati lights up a few points--two points, to be specific--for Terrill Byrd smoking weed in his residence. Well, at least he can buy booze on Sundays, unlike the good citizens of Georgia, who instead must drive to a bar, where they get hammered, buy some fried food, and then hit the roads after drinking. Sonny Perdue, don't you have rain to pray for instead of persecuting the lazy alcoholics of this fine state? Lazy alcoholism at home is a family value in the South, dammit.
(We don't actually know if one can buy booze on Sundays in Cincy. All we know is that Sonny Perdue can go fuck himself with a corkscrew for limiting our personal freedoms in the name of winning a few Jebus voters in Crisp County.)
Missouri still sits atop this thing like a prize drunken peacock, but several teams sit in striking distance. Just a few misdemeanors separate Tennessee from Mizzou, and if any team has the gumption, abundant convenience stores, and raucous, enabling campus environment to make this thing happen, it's Tennessee, dammit.
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Does the Mississippi State spring game not warrent a Fulmer Cup point? That was a crime against the last 20 years of offensive football.
by TideDruid on Mar 31, 2008 10:37 AM EDT reply actions
Just a side note, but I think you’re shorting MSU a few points. I know this latest incident was given 7 points alone. However, they also had an underage DUI a few weeks back on Jamon Hughes (also involved in shooting) that you gave them 2 points for:
http://www.everydayshouldbesaturday.com/2008/02/29/curious-index-22908/
and Derek Pegues had an open container violation that I don’t think was ever recognized:
http://www.clarionledger.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20080304/SPORTS030102/80304030
I’m guessing those entries would bring them up to roughly 10 or 11 total points, putting them possibly as high as 3rd in the overall standings.
Wouldn’t want my fellow in state school to miss out on Fulmer points. With possible charges that may come to light for 3 more players involved in the shooting and with the additions of those points you missed, they may be able to reach the top spot in the standings by week’s end.
by rebel84 on Mar 31, 2008 10:45 AM EDT reply actions
Georgia’s Sunday Blue law is bad enough, but banning alcohol sales on state holidays as well? Are you effing kidding me? I’ve had two potentially awesome holiday weekends essentially ruined because one couldn’t buy hooch after Saturday at midnight to cover the next two days.
What do they expect? Are people hell-bent on pounding brain cells out of their skulls with Sweetwater really supposed to remember to stock up on booze TWO DAYS IN ADVANCE???
by rjsplow on Mar 31, 2008 10:47 AM EDT reply actions
the tide is slipping. can somebody please invite a rap group to play at the legacy??
by gerry dorsey on Mar 31, 2008 10:48 AM EDT reply actions
Don’t forget to add the 2 misdemeanor points for MSU, they had a busy March.
http://www.clarionledger.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20080304/SPORTS030102/80304030/1287/SPORTS
by phil on Mar 31, 2008 10:55 AM EDT reply actions
@4
Ying Yang Twins + random field in Tuscaloosa = loads o’ fun for the Tuscaloosa Police.
by TideDruid on Mar 31, 2008 10:55 AM EDT reply actions
Wow. I didn’t know Georgia was Pennsylvania’s evil step-brother. Freaking blue laws suck. At least you all don’t have state-run liquor stores…
by immikfefazz on Mar 31, 2008 10:56 AM EDT reply actions
Even if a rap group was invited to play, there’s no guarantee they’d show up…though the ensuing riot on the Strip of students not getting ticket refunds might be entertaining!
by the croominator on Mar 31, 2008 10:57 AM EDT reply actions
Why complain about the governor? Its not like he implemented the “cant buy alcohol on Sunday” law.
by gsueagle on Mar 31, 2008 11:00 AM EDT reply actions
I’m calling this incident “Reservior Dawgs” starring Michael Brown as Mr. Brown, and Quentin Wesley as Mr. Blonde.
Oh, and the quick stop in question here sells no beer or lotto tickets, so everyone is bound to be extra edgy.
by jakldawg on Mar 31, 2008 11:01 AM EDT reply actions
All of the sudden, Louisiana looks progressive (compared to Pa and Ga).
The metropolis of Ruston (home of La Tech) allows liquor sales now and Baton Rouge just recently okayed Sunday wine and liquor sales.
Beer, for some reason, was always available. Somehow my Baptists don’t think beer is a threat. Shows how literal we are. Psalms says “wine is a mocker and strong drink a brawler”. I guess since beer wasn’t mentioned, it escaped the wrath of the Southern Baptist Convention. But that dude who wrote Psalms is correct. I wonder if the latest translation just says fight fuel instead of brawler.
by Joshua on Mar 31, 2008 11:09 AM EDT reply actions
Jakldawg, just the fact they can’t keep the same gas price at that B-Quik for more than one day would keep me on edge. BTW, I’ve noticed that the BP on the Strip always had some of the highest gas prices in Tuscaloosa, as well. What is with the phenomenon of climbing gas prices as one gets closer to campus?
by the croominator on Mar 31, 2008 11:11 AM EDT reply actions
In connecticut not only can’t you purchase alcohol on sunday, you can’t purchase alchohol after 8PM any other day. Although I did hear a rumor this was recently pushed back to 9PM.
by Chips O'Toole on Mar 31, 2008 11:23 AM EDT reply actions
You can’t buy real booze in Ohio on Sundays either — only beer, wine, and the dliuted liquor (40 proof) that they’re allowed to sell in grocery stores. Actual booze is only available in the state stores, which at least when I lived in Ohio were closed on Sundays.
by Yinka Double Dare on Mar 31, 2008 11:26 AM EDT reply actions
That Sonny Purdue rant was about as arbitrarily written as the the law itself is. Keep up the good work! Four years ago during the same-sex marriage scare Purdue thought “we need be very respectful of the peoples voice and listen to that” and he pushed for a referendum. Of course, state-wide polling showed 70-80% would vote the way Purdue wanted. But now that 66% of Georgians want Sunday sales, he has no desire to respect the voice of the people. What a turd of a governor.
by ruteger on Mar 31, 2008 11:27 AM EDT reply actions
Orson, I thought you had violated your own “no politics” rule, but then I realized: Alcoholism (or the Pursuit of Alcoholism) transcends politics.
by Mr. Wrong on Mar 31, 2008 11:45 AM EDT reply actions
Early Cuyler agrees with the sentiments expressed in this fine piece of writing. But it does have its advantages: had there been no ban on Sunday sales, I might not have found my favorite Atlanta hideaway bar.
by PJ from NU in SF on Mar 31, 2008 11:46 AM EDT reply actions
still not shjowing up – charges dropped against Gamecock Kevin Young. (I thought I tried posting this twice, but it didn;t show uyp… maybe because of the link I attached)
by Out of Conference on Mar 31, 2008 11:49 AM EDT reply actions
Temple recruit arrested.
http://www.sun-sentinel.com/news/local/palmbeach/sfl-flsparrest0326pnmar26,0,5303014.story
I’m confused. I thought that one of the reasons for the Civil Rights Act was to remove “driving around to scare white people” as an offense.
by DevilGrad on Mar 31, 2008 11:52 AM EDT reply actions
What’s murky about the MSU shooting? Wesley shot at some thug (who threatened them earlier in the night ) who rolled onto campus. Brown actually shot off a few rounds in the air. The other players involved hid the guns when the police came.
There. Un-murky-ed.
by hailstate on Mar 31, 2008 12:06 PM EDT reply actions
Yes, you can buy booze on Sundays in Cincinnati. You have to wait until 1PM, but you can buy booze on Sunday.
There is also an expection to the rule that allows sports venues to sell beer starting at 11AM. Anyone who has seen the Reds or the Bengals play will agree that this is a necessary move.
by CincySooner on Mar 31, 2008 12:25 PM EDT reply actions
Granted, O, Sonny is a giant dickhead.
But Sunday alcohol sales have always been illegal, and he’s term-limited, so you can’t put it all on him.
by NRBQ on Mar 31, 2008 12:36 PM EDT reply actions
One of the largest opponents to the Sunday alcohol sales is actually the liquor lobby in the state.
Luckily for the rest of us Kroger\Publix\Whole Foods (for those that like to way overpay for the same things I buy at the Dekalb Farmer’s Market) are all pushing hard for Sunday sales.
by JacketDan on Mar 31, 2008 12:42 PM EDT reply actions
Let me see if I understand this; the Florida Legislature recently made it easier to use deadly force if you feel your life is in danger and these Temple recruits were looking to scare white people (or anyone) with a BB pistol at 4 AM?
Does this defy rational thought or is this a simple case of too many blows to the head?
by Sundawg on Mar 31, 2008 1:49 PM EDT reply actions
Would like to point out the gun-toting Mr. Brown was a Florida transfer……
by AtomicDog on Mar 31, 2008 2:24 PM EDT reply actions
For the record, there are “dry” townships here in MA. So, it isn’t just a boonies phenomenon .
by Techie on Mar 31, 2008 3:08 PM EDT reply actions
At this pace, the SEC will eclipse the Big 10 for the all-time Fulmer Cup points, and that’s a hell of an accomplishment despite sending Fulmer cup points magnet aka [name redacted] to the Big 10. I wish he’d take his 35 points and go to the Pac10 or the WAC.
by TAFKastOSUB on Mar 31, 2008 3:52 PM EDT reply actions
Is it just me, or is there a preponderance of programs that have recently gone from “sucks” to “does not suck” on the big board (along with Tennesse, of course). Makes sense, really.
by Because They Can on Mar 31, 2008 5:06 PM EDT reply actions
Cool….Don Bartlett gets some dap on EDSBS. He really is a good guy. I’m gonna have to show him this shit and shake his hand for getting love on here without really even trying….although one could argue that all his moments in life have led to this crowning achievement
by SpookyJuice on Mar 31, 2008 7:35 PM EDT reply actions
I don’t live in Crisp County, but I do live directly west of it and it is a hell hole of terribleness. If Crisp County is the one keeping us from buying the sweet nectar on Sundays, I say we band together and demolish its good citizens.
by Moreno_IV on Apr 1, 2008 12:29 PM EDT reply actions

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