Bout this U, lawya. In lieu of footage of Miami’s spring game–which attracted all 11,000 Miami football fans at once–we presents still photos set to Miami thump. Windows Movie Maker meets the Dunk Ryders, what!

In terms of actual news, Patrick Nix, offensive coordinator to the stars (Reggie STAR Ball), is still seeking to craft an offense that breaks the vaunted fifty percent completion mark in Miami. Miami football: like Mississippi State, but with sparkles and palm trees! Speaking of…

No offense, no problem. Mississippi State’s defense had a crowbar party on the quarterbacks in the Bulldogs’ spring game. From the Wiz:

Mississippi State: There are questions about the offense after a spring game that featured five interceptions, a boatload of overthrown passes and a 6-0 score.

No, that sounds about right, actually. 8-5 on the way on a rail, baby! The score on the game going into overtime? 0-0.


Mississippi State demonstrates its best offensive play: prone.

More players may be involved in the shooting incident at Miss. State last week, btw.

David Holbert, Tennessee fullback, suffered an apocalyptic knee injury during the Vols’ first scrimmage of the spring. The description may make your turkey bacon fly retrograde from your stomach, so go forward with caution:

It occurred when Holbert was attempting to catch a pass out of the backfield. Linebacker Rico McCoy leveled a clean hit on Holbert, who went to the turf awkwardly.

The portion of Holbert’s leg below the knee bent completely forward — the opposite of the normal motion —producing a gut-wrenching sight.

“All I’m allowed to say is it’s a knee injury,” UT Coach Phillip Fulmer said.

That’s “a knee injury,” as opposed to “holy hell, we’re gonna have to put this guy on medical redshirt for the next nine years.” Other than the maiming of a fullback and all, Tennessee’s first scrimmage seemed to go just fine.

Foswhitt! My autogyro, please! Focus on the outstanding performance of Will “Boom, Motherfucker!” Muschamp’s defense and the ongoing rotation of three running backs if you like. We’re just fascinated with the all-name team the Longhorns are running in their backfield:

Chris Ogbonnaya
Vondrell McGee
Foswhitt “Fozzy” Whittaker

The name “Foswhitt” comes from a contraction of his father’s first name, Foster, and his last name, but that’s not even the second most eye-popping tidbit of Foswhitt Whittaker’s bio. In order of awesome:

Pets: Dog (Milo), two turtles (Michaelangelo and Lance), a ferret (Kiko) and a catfish (Whopper)

And:

Nobody knows I can: Play the tuba

A tuba-playing running back with a pet catfish and the name Foswhitt? EDSBS heartily throws its weight behind an endorsement of Foswhitt Whittaker for starting running back at Texas.