ADVENTURES IN JUXTAPOSITION: OKLAHOMA NUT-RIPPER ON TRIAL
Perhaps you recall the Oklahoma church deacon and pastor who grabbed the testicles of a Texas fan and nearly ripped them from his body. Or maybe you forgot intentionally, since it involved one man RIPPING OPEN ANOTHER MAN’S FUCKING SCROTUM.
Well, he’s on trial. Fun details follow!
When a pair of bar patrons tried to separate the two men, Thomas said he heard a popping sound, looked down and saw a lot of blood.
“I saw a tear and an exposed testicle,” Thomas said. “I panicked.”
Beckett’s attorney said that Thomas was the aggressor and that his client defended himself only after the younger, bigger man went up to the bar to confront him.
And now, for no reason whatsoever, a picture of a heart-healthy pomegranate!
Oh, no reason. Why do you ask?
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1
the croominator says:
*cringe*
I think the description of the “popping” is what did it for me. Before I even got to what the pomegranate meant.
*shivers*
March 27th, 2008 at 2:49 pm
2
ThreenOut says:
a friend in high school kicked a guy in the nuts w/ a steel toed boot and caused some splittage. It looked about like that.
March 27th, 2008 at 2:50 pm
3
CKGator says:
Dude…
This is, of course, my favorite blog, and this entry won’t change that, but…dude.
March 27th, 2008 at 3:04 pm
4
okiedomer says:
if anyone’s interested, here’s the link to the online court docket
http://www.oscn.net/applications/ocisweb/GetCaseInformation.asp?submitted=true&viewtype=caseGeneral&casemasterID=2197982&db=Oklahoma
no trial date yet – pretrial conference scheduled for april 16th – i’m going to try like hell to make the trial and give you guys updates
while i condone violence in general towards all longhorns, i cannot condone testicle ripping of any sorts – if there’s any justice in the world, the jury will all be oklahoma state fans (which is likely, since only aggies are too dumb to get out of jury duty)
March 27th, 2008 at 3:06 pm
5
them oklahoma says:
While this is an example of a psychopathic fan that, while I don’t know this for certain, has nor ever had any academic ties to the university. The “special” fans (and they’re group is accounted for at every major “southern” – Big 12, SEC, ACC) always seem to liven things up. One thing stands, though. OU texas is, without question, the most hate fueled rivalry in sports. I don’t give a rip if ESPN goes on and on over Yankees and Red Sox, Duke and UNC, Michigan and Ohio St. Have they ever ripped one another’s junk off? I think not. Regardless, as an alumnus, I refuse any association with said sack-ripper.
March 27th, 2008 at 3:09 pm
6
Doug says:
As a pansy-ass bleeding-heart liberal, I am very much opposed to the death penalty, but if ever there was a case that called for it, this is that case.
I am drafting a new constitutional amendment to be brought before the full U.S. Congress sometime later on this year: THOU SHALT NOT HARM ANOTHER MAN’S SCROTUM. Or something to that effect.
March 27th, 2008 at 3:12 pm
7
DC Trojan says:
I was flagging a little here until I read this post – now I’m awake, but not in a good way.
March 27th, 2008 at 3:25 pm
8
Oops Pow Surprise says:
My testicles are hiding between my lungs now, thanks.
March 27th, 2008 at 3:25 pm
9
Holly says:
Diabolical. (The pomegranate.)
March 27th, 2008 at 3:28 pm
10
Picture Me Rollin says:
This whole story and especially that picture make me want to vomit – and not in a good way.
March 27th, 2008 at 3:41 pm
11
Out of Conference says:
Holly – do I detect a little Lorena Bobbit sarcasm tone there?
March 27th, 2008 at 3:44 pm
12
Out of Conference says:
There’s always this…
http://www.neuticles.com/
March 27th, 2008 at 3:47 pm
13
Tide Druid says:
6….. I agree with you……………… you pansy-ass bleeding-heart liberal
March 27th, 2008 at 3:51 pm
14
Mark says:
2 Questions -
1) If he could see his testicles, much less an exposed testicle torn from the scrotum, where were his pants?
2) Wouldn’t ripping another man’s balls off be second nature to a federal auditor?
March 27th, 2008 at 4:57 pm
15
Paragon SC says:
Rest assured I won’t be writing any injury reports about that.
March 27th, 2008 at 5:06 pm
16
Chips O'Toole says:
Let’ s just say that this won’t increase POM sales among the edsbs.com reader base. Not that they were too high to begin with.
March 27th, 2008 at 5:17 pm
17
Holly says:
do I detect a little Lorena Bobbit sarcasm tone there?
The hell? No. That was fucking queasifying.
March 27th, 2008 at 5:29 pm
18
I'm a man, I'm forty says:
Jackie sherril wannabe
Suck – it Aggies!
March 27th, 2008 at 5:37 pm
19
WarCardinals says:
10 -
Is there a good way to “want to vomit”?
March 27th, 2008 at 6:25 pm
20
Trojan Chica says:
#14 –
1) The pants were white, which made it even worse.
2) Yes.
March 27th, 2008 at 6:36 pm
21
Brian says:
the blueberry pom is delicious. At first i thought it was a cranberry topped cheesecake. Then I realized what was going on, and drove to the store to get a cup.
March 27th, 2008 at 7:00 pm
22
ALGator says:
Wonder what the Oklahoma guy would have done if the other one was wearing a Boise State t-shirt?
March 27th, 2008 at 8:10 pm
23
Brian says:
I just want to add: When you eat a pomegranate, you support terrorism and Totalitarian regimes. That is all.
March 27th, 2008 at 9:44 pm
24
Pants McPants says:
I used to like pomegranates….
March 28th, 2008 at 8:21 am
25
Jeff from LA says:
Wait a second, this guy is an Oklahoma PASTOR????!!!!
What kind of church is he running over there? I mean if he’s the pastor, I’d hate to see what the laity is like.
March 28th, 2008 at 12:48 pm
26
DC Trojan says:
When you eat a pomegranate, you support terrorism and Totalitarian regimes. That is all.
Is there anything that doesn’t do that? Aside from maybe shade grown coffee from a Nicaraguan syndicalist collective, transported north via organic burro?
March 28th, 2008 at 12:48 pm