ADVENTURES IN JUXTAPOSITION: OKLAHOMA NUT-RIPPER ON TRIAL
Perhaps you recall the Oklahoma church deacon and pastor who grabbed the testicles of a Texas fan and nearly ripped them from his body. Or maybe you forgot intentionally, since it involved one man RIPPING OPEN ANOTHER MAN’S FUCKING SCROTUM.
Well, he’s on trial. Fun details follow!
When a pair of bar patrons tried to separate the two men, Thomas said he heard a popping sound, looked down and saw a lot of blood.
“I saw a tear and an exposed testicle,” Thomas said. “I panicked.”
Beckett’s attorney said that Thomas was the aggressor and that his client defended himself only after the younger, bigger man went up to the bar to confront him.
And now, for no reason whatsoever, a picture of a heart-healthy pomegranate!
Oh, no reason. Why do you ask?
Filed under: Big 12 Conference, Coaches, the BCS, scandals, arrests, and other eccentri, College football, ahhhspiders!, pain pain pain, shit!, your worst nightmares by Orson Swindle
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25
Wait a second, this guy is an Oklahoma PASTOR????!!!!
What kind of church is he running over there? I mean if he’s the pastor, I’d hate to see what the laity is like.
Comment by Jeff from LA — March 28, 2008 @ 12:48 pm
24
I used to like pomegranates….
Comment by Pants McPants — March 28, 2008 @ 8:21 am
23
I just want to add: When you eat a pomegranate, you support terrorism and Totalitarian regimes. That is all.
Comment by Brian — March 27, 2008 @ 9:44 pm
22
Wonder what the Oklahoma guy would have done if the other one was wearing a Boise State t-shirt?
Comment by ALGator — March 27, 2008 @ 8:10 pm
21
the blueberry pom is delicious. At first i thought it was a cranberry topped cheesecake. Then I realized what was going on, and drove to the store to get a cup.
Comment by Brian — March 27, 2008 @ 7:00 pm
20
#14 -
1) The pants were white, which made it even worse.
2) Yes.
Comment by Trojan Chica — March 27, 2008 @ 6:36 pm
19
10 -
Is there a good way to “want to vomit”?
Comment by WarCardinals — March 27, 2008 @ 6:25 pm
18
Jackie sherril wannabe
Suck - it Aggies!
Comment by I'm a man, I'm forty — March 27, 2008 @ 5:37 pm
17
do I detect a little Lorena Bobbit sarcasm tone there?
The hell? No. That was fucking queasifying.
Comment by Holly — March 27, 2008 @ 5:29 pm
16
Let’ s just say that this won’t increase POM sales among the edsbs.com reader base. Not that they were too high to begin with.
Comment by Chips O'Toole — March 27, 2008 @ 5:17 pm
15
Rest assured I won’t be writing any injury reports about that.
Comment by Paragon SC — March 27, 2008 @ 5:06 pm
14
2 Questions -
1) If he could see his testicles, much less an exposed testicle torn from the scrotum, where were his pants?
2) Wouldn’t ripping another man’s balls off be second nature to a federal auditor?
Comment by Mark — March 27, 2008 @ 4:57 pm
13
6….. I agree with you……………… you pansy-ass bleeding-heart liberal
Comment by Tide Druid — March 27, 2008 @ 3:51 pm
12
There’s always this…
http://www.neuticles.com/
Comment by Out of Conference — March 27, 2008 @ 3:47 pm
11
Holly - do I detect a little Lorena Bobbit sarcasm tone there?
Comment by Out of Conference — March 27, 2008 @ 3:44 pm
10
This whole story and especially that picture make me want to vomit - and not in a good way.
Comment by Picture Me Rollin — March 27, 2008 @ 3:41 pm
9
Diabolical. (The pomegranate.)
Comment by Holly — March 27, 2008 @ 3:28 pm
8
My testicles are hiding between my lungs now, thanks.
Comment by Oops Pow Surprise — March 27, 2008 @ 3:25 pm
7
I was flagging a little here until I read this post - now I’m awake, but not in a good way.
Comment by DC Trojan — March 27, 2008 @ 3:25 pm
6
As a pansy-ass bleeding-heart liberal, I am very much opposed to the death penalty, but if ever there was a case that called for it, this is that case.
I am drafting a new constitutional amendment to be brought before the full U.S. Congress sometime later on this year: THOU SHALT NOT HARM ANOTHER MAN’S SCROTUM. Or something to that effect.
Comment by Doug — March 27, 2008 @ 3:12 pm
5
While this is an example of a psychopathic fan that, while I don’t know this for certain, has nor ever had any academic ties to the university. The “special” fans (and they’re group is accounted for at every major “southern” - Big 12, SEC, ACC) always seem to liven things up. One thing stands, though. OU texas is, without question, the most hate fueled rivalry in sports. I don’t give a rip if ESPN goes on and on over Yankees and Red Sox, Duke and UNC, Michigan and Ohio St. Have they ever ripped one another’s junk off? I think not. Regardless, as an alumnus, I refuse any association with said sack-ripper.
Comment by them oklahoma — March 27, 2008 @ 3:09 pm
4
if anyone’s interested, here’s the link to the online court docket
http://www.oscn.net/applications/ocisweb/GetCaseInformation.asp?submitted=true&viewtype=caseGeneral&casemasterID=2197982&db=Oklahoma
no trial date yet - pretrial conference scheduled for april 16th - i’m going to try like hell to make the trial and give you guys updates
while i condone violence in general towards all longhorns, i cannot condone testicle ripping of any sorts - if there’s any justice in the world, the jury will all be oklahoma state fans (which is likely, since only aggies are too dumb to get out of jury duty)
Comment by okiedomer — March 27, 2008 @ 3:06 pm
3
Dude…
This is, of course, my favorite blog, and this entry won’t change that, but…dude.
Comment by CKGator — March 27, 2008 @ 3:04 pm
2
a friend in high school kicked a guy in the nuts w/ a steel toed boot and caused some splittage. It looked about like that.
Comment by ThreenOut — March 27, 2008 @ 2:50 pm
1
*cringe*
I think the description of the “popping” is what did it for me. Before I even got to what the pomegranate meant.
*shivers*
Comment by the croominator — March 27, 2008 @ 2:49 pm