CURIOUS INDEX, 3/26/08

by Orson on Mar 26, 2008 9:39 AM EDT

Phil Fulmer calls his linemen out for being weak plushies in practice, an exercise in irony if we've ever seen one:

"They're soft," a fiery Fulmer said. "That group of guys, they're soft 300-pounders. They should be big, ugly tough guys. Right now they're not very tough."

But they turn a disco out like no one's business, sister!

Paul Shaffer wrote that song. This will never, ever cease to amuse us.

UCF says nothing was atypical about the conditioning workout Ereck Plancher died during last week. Plancher collapsed during the cool-down period following a 20 minute conditioning drill. The cause of death has not been determined yet.

Excitement, ya! Is this thing on? Tim Brewster of Minnesota went 1-11 last year, and even that one took an overtime effort. (Glen Mason, everyone! Glen Mason!) Brewster and his staff logged a quarter of a million miles recruiting, a sneaky way of making traveling 250,000 miles sound like even more, since you manage to work that big ol' "million" in there, which is what all your brain really remembers. It's still a zounds! number of miles, and Brewster's hoping for the [NAME REDACTED] Big Ten bounceback. Given what a shitpile the middle and bottom of the B10 has been over the past two years, that is a very real possibility.

It's a no-huddle! Just like intramurals! Indiana isn't the only school opting to exploit the new 45 second clock with a no-huddle: Colorado will also be going with the no-huddle, arguing that Cody Hawkins will have more time at the line, thus giving him more time to read the defense. Some Colorado fans will argue that this is precisely why this will be a disadvantage for Colorado: this gives Cody Hawkins more time to think, which is not good.

Mr. Pelini has banned Huskers from bars, meaning Nebraska football players will simply have to get in fights and foist unwanted groping on women in the comfort of their homes. This will prepare them well for married life. Bingo-zango! The buffet closes in twenty minutes so get on over there while you can, people. The etoufee is simply delicious.

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http://www.rollbamaroll.com/story/2008/3/25/233847/656

by jon on Mar 26, 2008 10:05 AM EDT reply actions

Tim Brewster recruited Vince Young to Texas, when Mack Brown wasn’t even interested in the kid.

If you are Minnesota, you let Brewster travel wherever he wants to recruit because he can sign anyone.

by Rick Roll on Mar 26, 2008 10:29 AM EDT reply actions

T&P always unfortunate.

by ThreenOut on Mar 26, 2008 10:30 AM EDT reply actions

nick saban think bo pelini is being pretty harsh.

by gerry dorsey on Mar 26, 2008 10:32 AM EDT reply actions

Garcia is so powerful, he needs no bars to get in toruble.

by Out of Conference on Mar 26, 2008 10:38 AM EDT reply actions

Coach didn’t say nuthin’ ‘bout our Nebraska tradition of maintaining a disorderly house now. C’mon in!

by gregg on Mar 26, 2008 10:38 AM EDT reply actions

Arkansas Fulmer Cupdate is still needed:
http://nwanews.com/blogs/slophouse/2008/03/24/ua-football-fairchild-arrested/

Petrino don’t play.

by Stephen Colboar on Mar 26, 2008 10:43 AM EDT reply actions

Wasn’t it the same shitpile, middle of the Big Ten that beat your Gators? I’m just saying…

by The Penguin on Mar 26, 2008 10:51 AM EDT reply actions

@ #8, The Penguin

in the conference is hardly the middle of the shit pile. That would be where Michigan finished.

by undecided (formerly Tebow for Heisman) on Mar 26, 2008 10:59 AM EDT reply actions

They never notice the careful phrasing, right? Hey, this is a dinner party. Elegant style. White pants. No take-out, no burgers…

(STUMBLING IN)

HEY AH GOTTAA PEEH-TZAH EVRAHBODAY!!!!

(Shudders, shame.)

We said the middle and the bottom. But sure, you’ve got a hammer, go ahead and swing. They’re all nails!

ps Goddamn you Gator secondary.

by Orson Swindle on Mar 26, 2008 11:05 AM EDT reply actions

A “Bo Pelini” sounds like an exotic cocktail you’d find on a tour of Earnest Hemmingway’s old stomping grounds

by mhentz on Mar 26, 2008 11:20 AM EDT reply actions

Hey Husker dudes! Oh, hellz yeah LSU was fun. Partied like fuckin’ rock stars! Tore Bourbon Street up. Burned that motherfucka dowwwwwnnnnnn!!!!! Lucky PeliniDogs and frozen BoGrenades all over my shirt!

Anyways, bars are banned now, assholes.

by Allahver Fist on Mar 26, 2008 11:29 AM EDT reply actions

Various downtown bars; not all downtown bars. Considering that both Mo Purify (last year) and Andy Christiansen (this year) have had 5-0 incidents at Lincoln’s Brass Rail, it’s not surprising that it’s now out of bounds.

There’s plenty of watering holes in downtown Lincoln anyway:

http://maps.google.com/maps?f=q&hl=en&geocode=&q=bars+near+14th+and+O+street,+lincoln&sll=40.81359,-96.70773&sspn=0.227619,0.455933&ie=UTF8&ll=40.813801,-96.70107&spn=0.001778,0.003562&z=18

by Albino Tornado on Mar 26, 2008 11:39 AM EDT reply actions

One year of flushing Mason’s defensive turds out of the system down, 3 to go.

If Brewster needs a trip to the moon, I’m sure we’ll pony up for it. I just hope he brings a recruit back that doesn’t get shot in the leg.

by WhiteSpeedReceiver on Mar 26, 2008 12:16 PM EDT reply actions

@ #9 undecided

You’re right – I was thinking more middle of the bowl teams for some reason.

Wisc lost by 4 to SEC East champs (and almost SEC champs) UT
PennSt beat a crap Texas A&M team
Iowa didn’t play in a bowl
Purdue sucked but held serve against a MAC team
MSU lost by 4 to ACC #2 Boston College
#9, 10, 11 are there for a reason, just like every conference

The middle went 2-2 with 1-DNP. Given the match-ups I’d say the middle did fine – it was tOSU and Illinois that let the conference down.

How do you gauge the middle/bottom of a conference anyway?

Q: Three teams never win a game in their conference – who’s better?
A: Who cares?
Q: Well, wait a minute – the teams are Ole Miss, Baylor, Duke, and Minnesota – so who is it?
A: Ole Miss. (shrug)

Sorry to make a big deal, but the post sounded like another pot-shot at the Big Ten put just casually enough – and repeated ad nauseum – that people believe it without thinking. That, and the one game I root for you guys you let me down.

Or, uh… HEY, EVRAHBODAY QUITS YAH HOLLERIN AHBOW USN NAUTHN TIMS. AWRUN BAD TIMS IS AS TUFF AS YUR BAD TIMS.

by The Penguin on Mar 26, 2008 12:31 PM EDT reply actions