CURIOUS INDEX, 3/25/08
by Orson on Mar 25, 2008 9:44 AM EDT
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Karma's a motherfucker. Clemson's losing tailbacks just after they cut Ray-Ray McElrathbey. Make a snide laugh now, because this will all end up with Tommy Bowden running through the streets of Clemson handing out cooked goose on Christmas and embracing crippled children. The part with the ghost of Christmas Past featuring Jackie Sherrill in the role will be especially frightening, because Sherrill will be naked and drunk. Bears Necessity examines out of conference schedules and concludes that the Big East is the real out-of-conference road warrior--and that's not just the Mountaineers calling in either with their traditional forty point bowl shootout. He also notes that business class on Singapore airlines rules. If it doesn't come with a complimentary compulsory caning of a random passenger in coach for chewing gum too loudly in their seat, it's NOT Singapore Airlines! Bill Callahan had them playing tag, dammit. We would kill for an uncensored spring practice audio of Bo Pelini in his first spring as Nebraska head football coach working with the defense. According to Pelini: Callahan wouldn't call what he had the defense doing tag, exactly; rather, it was a "binomial game of optional tactical label transfer, with status dependent on pursuit, angle calculation, and escape strategies." Or, yeah: tag. Heivaha Mafi: can haz hair. Heivaha Mafi, Juco transfer for UNLV, is your latest shock-haired raging Polynesian badass, according to the Runnin' Rebels coach Mike Sanford: "(Mafi's) got a lot of hair," coach Mike Sanford said, "and he plays with it on fire." Mafi's playing for a starting spot at the hybrid DE/LB spot, marking yet another appearance of the Patriot end in college football out of a flexy 3-4 that can, in a snap, morph to a 4-3. They call Alabama The Crimson Tide, so call me Faggy McGee. The greatest hangover/sleep deprivation song ever helped us through a long, airport delay-ridden day yesterday. The story behind the chorus: It was originally speculated that the song was written about the Wake Forest University Demon Deacons, but in a Rolling Stone interview, Donald Fagen said "Walter and I had been working on that song at a house in Malibu. I played him that line, and he said, "You mean it's like, 'They call these cracker assholes this grandiose name like the Crimson Tide, and I'm this loser, so they call me this other grandiose name, Deacon Blues?' " And I said, "Yeah!" He said, "Cool! Let's finish it!" Thank you, cracker assholes of Alabama, for making that song happen. Oh, and for beating us twice in 1999. That was awesome. |
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Comments
Steely Dan > Steely McBeam (if only by default)
by Biggus Rickus on Mar 25, 2008 10:02 AM EDT reply actions
The tag joke would be funny if it weren’t true.
Nebraska would have been just as bad last year if it was touch football.
by ThreenOut on Mar 25, 2008 10:10 AM EDT reply actions
The asian fever in me says I need to watch Omaha news more often.
by meatybob on Mar 25, 2008 10:11 AM EDT reply actions
At least you can sympathize with Tennessee for losing to AU twice in 2004. Sorry Holly.
by SEC Supremacist on Mar 25, 2008 10:12 AM EDT reply actions
“Grandiose cracker assholes.” Perfect.
Smart guys, Don and Walt. I tip my Cuervo Gold in their general direction.
by Flibbetigibbet on Mar 25, 2008 10:12 AM EDT reply actions
Nothing on the latest Stephen Garcia bust?
http://www.thetandd.com/articles/2008/03/24/sports/usc/doc47e8285801e29587407496.txt
by gurn on Mar 25, 2008 10:27 AM EDT reply actions
It’s coming. We’re just waiting on a photoshop.
by Orson Swindle on Mar 25, 2008 10:31 AM EDT reply actions
My brother and I are working on a look ahead at next year’s non-conference schedules – the prologue explaining the methodology and conference rankings are up now, but the rest should be coming in the next few weeks.
(end shameless plug)
The Big East should have a better OOC than everyone else, since they play 5 OOC games every year…
by ehrenb on Mar 25, 2008 10:34 AM EDT reply actions
Do I need to remind you motherfuckers about copyright infringement? It’s OOC©.
by Out of Conference on Mar 25, 2008 10:46 AM EDT reply actions
steely dan BALOOOOOOWS…but that is a good story behing the chorus.
aaaahhhh ’99…those were good times. back before freddie milons faded into bolivia.
by gerry dorsey on Mar 25, 2008 10:46 AM EDT reply actions
They low down, they dirty, and they snitches.
by Anonymous IV on Mar 25, 2008 10:47 AM EDT reply actions
Reason number 1 for bashing Alabama fans:
That fucking ugly ass hat that BEHAAARRR Bryant was always wearing, and the fucking stickers that pay homage to the resemblance of said hat on the back of their Chevy* Tahoes.
- Cuz that’s what Earnhardt drives!
by ALGator on Mar 25, 2008 10:52 AM EDT reply actions
I don’t care about conference chest thumping. But any methodology that assigns points to games with penalize the Pac 10 for turning the additional game into another conference game instead of a chance to feast on another cupcake, the way the other BCS conferences did.
I’d be amazed if any team can match USC’s OOC schedule next year. Virginia, tOSU, and Notre Dame.
by oc phil on Mar 25, 2008 10:56 AM EDT reply actions
gerry@10
Your guiana make me mad if I hear another South American joke.
by hunglikehussain on Mar 25, 2008 11:09 AM EDT reply actions
Donald Fagen also said that Koko’s not truly dead until smooth music is.
by PW on Mar 25, 2008 11:12 AM EDT reply actions
Only in the 70’s could you get away with naming a soft-rock band after a dildo.
by jakldawg on Mar 25, 2008 11:23 AM EDT reply actions
Well I have a newfound respect for a band that typically makes my skin crawl.
by Vol on Mar 25, 2008 11:30 AM EDT reply actions
How’s come right after comment 17 is a “certified Christian” singles’ ad? Is this what Google ads connects with “dildo”?
Yikes.
by Cock D on Mar 25, 2008 11:40 AM EDT reply actions
OC Phil #13 – next time use the sarcasm tag. You almost had me fooled for a sec there.
by Out of Conference on Mar 25, 2008 11:46 AM EDT reply actions
The Nebraska spring conference was a hilarious mix of generic “rah rah rah spring ball” comments and “cleverly bash the previous goof of a coaching staff” comments.
by Rob on Mar 25, 2008 11:54 AM EDT reply actions
OOC@#9
Whoa, is it getting chilie in here or what?
/couldn’t resist
by hunglikehussain on Mar 25, 2008 12:01 PM EDT reply actions
I mean it! I’m going to take this poland stick it up your…….
/wales aloud with laughter
by hunglikehussain on Mar 25, 2008 12:33 PM EDT reply actions
- has a point…
In-Conference games are always tougher than they should be.
by CincySooner on Mar 25, 2008 12:49 PM EDT reply actions
Walker: Who are we going to get to sing these background vocals?!
D. Fagan: Ohhhh daba dooba me beea daba dee do…. fuck!
by August West on Mar 25, 2008 12:50 PM EDT reply actions
for the record, Karma called, and you won’t believe what she said:
Bowden has offered little explanation as to why McElrathbey’s scholarship wasn’t renewed. Across the Web, Bowden has been portrayed as a heartless villain who is ending a young man’s dream. He has been accused of taking away McElrathbey’s scholarship because the Tigers don’t have enough room on their roster for incoming freshmen.
Privately, people close to the situation say Bowden didn’t have a choice. After injuring his knee, McElrathbey didn’t regularly attend his rehabilitation sessions. He vanished for days at a time and didn’t respond to telephone calls and text messages from coaches.
“It’s like he wasn’t even a part of the team,” said one person close to the situation who requested anonymity. “There were rules and there were Ray Ray rules. He thumbed his nose at the coaches and they got sick of it. It’s a complicated story. Nobody wants to trash the kid. But some of the things he’s done here have just been inexcusable. He just wasn’t doing the thing he was supposed to do. You can’t have rules for one kid and different rules for the other 84 players.”
by OB81 on Mar 25, 2008 2:34 PM EDT reply actions
#13:
We’ll probably fix that by giving the scores as points per OOC game instead of a sum. So USC’s OOC would probably average out to a 1, while someone like Rutgers will be around .5.
by ehrenb2 on Mar 25, 2008 2:43 PM EDT reply actions
The bammers actually think that song is somehow praising them and they are proud of it.
by sheepman on Mar 26, 2008 11:31 PM EDT reply actions
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