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FRIDAY CHEESECAKE: THE 1998 SWIMSUIT ISSUE

Every teenager should subscribe to Sports Illustrated. This is fact. There's 51 issues of decent sportswriting and it provides a good avenue to establishing a steady schedule and practice of leisure reading. All every positive traits for a growing, learning young man.

Then, of course, there's the swimsuit issue, a flimsy excuse to trot out unholy amounts of cheesecake with increasingly nonexistent clothing to cover it. While there's much to be said about leaving things up to the imagination, there are some things you just can't argue with. Like, let's say, a 23-year-old Tyra Banks bringing polka dots back to the land of sexy.

But though Tyra's run in 1997 was outstanding, the overall body of work (sorry) was nonpareil the next year. It is no exaggeration to call it the most important publication of my teenage years, right above The Quintessential Calvin and Hobbes and the instruction manual to Street Fighter II Turbo.

Cover girl Heidi Klum was ridiculously hot, yes, but let's give a nod to the other ladies of the issue as well. Heidi will start us off, and there's more after the break, including That Look. Every man knows it. As always, work-safe by way of technicality, work-inadvisable by way of common sense.

Star-divide

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makes me want to get UP in the morning!

by brian on Mar 21, 2008 4:14 PM EDT reply actions  

It’s too bad Tyra is has been made retroactively unsexy by pooping herself on the runway.

by Rob G on Mar 21, 2008 4:20 PM EDT reply actions  

No bunda makes the baby Jesus cry.

by poguemahone on Mar 21, 2008 4:28 PM EDT reply actions  

I don’t know what I would do without my fur bikini. It’s quite practical.

by dmbmeg on Mar 21, 2008 4:42 PM EDT reply actions  

No Kathy Ireland?? Head on back to ’95, please.

by paco on Mar 21, 2008 4:50 PM EDT reply actions  

Yes, I agree… you might say seeing Kathy Ireland was the “seminal” point in my childhood as well…

by Adam on Mar 21, 2008 5:09 PM EDT reply actions  

No Kathy Ireland?? Head on back to ‘95, please.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

shouldn’t that be ’85?

by SIW on Mar 21, 2008 5:13 PM EDT reply actions  

“shouldn’t that be ‘85?”
-————————

I’d say her best stuff was ‘92-’95

by paco on Mar 21, 2008 5:23 PM EDT reply actions  

spercer, out in vegas and thought that with the hours I bill to my clients reading your stuff I owe you a beer. Where
you
at?

by drew on Mar 21, 2008 5:38 PM EDT reply actions  

I disagree strongly that Kathy ireland belongs in the Heidi Klum/Laetitia Casta tier. I always found her overrated.

That 98 issue would’ve been worth it for the copious amounts of Klum see-thru shots, but damned if there wasn’t a lot more to love.

I’m pretty sure the first time I saw Elle McPherson when I found my dad’s old stash of swimsuit issues when I was around 7 or 8 or so was the first time I really realized that girls were around for a reason.

by Boston Nick on Mar 21, 2008 5:41 PM EDT reply actions  

Strike me down for saying this, but I kinda thought ’98 was where the swimsuit issue took an unfortunate turn toward “fashion magazine” — too many skinny chicks, not enough good old-fashioned T&A (though the bodypainting trend that started shortly thereafter was a nice touch).

Go back in time and ask the teenage me what he thinks, and he’ll tell you it didn’t get any better than Vendela, Barcelona, 1992. Tell me I’m wrong.

by Doug on Mar 21, 2008 7:18 PM EDT reply actions  

..before we go and bad-mouth Kathy Ireland, it is worth noting that she turned her super modeling career into a successful business worth in the neighborhood of 1.4 Billion with a B dollars.

So, she’s a former supermodel cougar, with more money than 100 gigolos could spend….

by Will on Mar 21, 2008 7:31 PM EDT reply actions  

@ 6 Adam

Did you mean “semenal” moment?

Kathy Ireland has the most amazing eyes of anyone ever to grace the swimsuit issue. When a woman is that beautiful, and yet you have a hard time looking anywhere but into her eyes, well…

by StageCoach on Mar 21, 2008 7:44 PM EDT reply actions  

The question is, who’s killed more kittens – a teenage OPS with said issue, or Lloyd Carr.

by Ground0EastLansing on Mar 21, 2008 10:59 PM EDT reply actions  

G-Zero @ 14: An analogy may help.

Carr : OJ Simpson :: Young OPS : Hitler

by Oops Pow Surprise on Mar 21, 2008 11:32 PM EDT reply actions  

  1. - Forgot I was on EDSBS, and not Fark. This link will clarify.

http://www.myspaceantics.com/images/funny/masturbate-kitten.jpg

by Ground0EastLansing on Mar 21, 2008 11:46 PM EDT reply actions  

strangely, 1998 was the one swimsuit issue that I owned.

deep cut, swindle, deep cut.

by wooooohoooooo on Mar 22, 2008 8:30 AM EDT reply actions  

one word: BEYONCE

by absolut1914 on Mar 22, 2008 10:03 PM EDT reply actions  

Yeah, but Kathy Ireland can also kick field goals – didn’t you guys see Necessary Roughness?

Hot, and can get three points for your team!

by Tailgate Shogun on Mar 23, 2008 7:53 AM EDT reply actions  

@ 10 and 11

Elle is my first SI love. However, thank you so much for reminding me of Vendela’s phenomenal bunda which was crafted by the hands of tiny bunda angels.

by lance harbor on Mar 24, 2008 7:35 AM EDT reply actions  

Non-bunda Friday is much appreciated.

by Chg on Mar 24, 2008 3:00 PM EDT reply actions  

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