MOUSTACHE THURSDAY: MARK SPITZ

by Adam Jacobi on Mar 20, 2008 1:34 PM EDT

Today's Moustache Thursday, which is certainly not to be confused with Mustache Wednesday, is Olympian hero Mark Spitz!

Spitz, as you may recall, won seven gold medals in Munich in 1972, an unbroken record to this day. If you're under 40, you may not know that regardless of her marital status at the time, your mother wanted to fuck the living shit out of Mark Spitz. Well, at least until he talked, anyway. So you may lament the fact that when you look in the mirror, you don't see what's staring back at you right here. Blame your mother's lack of dedication. If she wanted Spitz, she should have tried harder, and now look at you.

Happy Moustache Thursday, motherfuckers!

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Comments

For those of us born a couple years after the Munich games, we recall our mothers being infatuated with another mustachioed mountain of masculinity: Tom Selleck!

by Mark D on Mar 20, 2008 1:46 PM EDT reply actions

Tom Selleck, not GAY.

by Plastic Paddy on Mar 20, 2008 1:52 PM EDT reply actions

Is it Unibrow Thursday too?

by The Nature Boy on Mar 20, 2008 2:01 PM EDT reply actions

My mother was more of an Andy Garcia fan honestly….

by TideDruid on Mar 20, 2008 2:12 PM EDT reply actions

Greg Louganis: I’d hit it.

by Out of Conference on Mar 20, 2008 2:15 PM EDT reply actions

How much faster could he have swum without the stache and eyebrows? I used swum in a sentence!

by Because They Can on Mar 20, 2008 2:44 PM EDT reply actions

nice helmet.

by kleph on Mar 20, 2008 2:59 PM EDT reply actions

I also like swimmers, but they have to be non-East German females.

by Anonymous IV on Mar 20, 2008 3:25 PM EDT reply actions

Chop Blocking son of a bitch. With every gold medal he lost a bit of his soul.

by I'M A MAN - I"M FORTY on Mar 20, 2008 3:26 PM EDT reply actions

I like to go swimming with bow-legged women.

by Out of Conference on Mar 20, 2008 4:27 PM EDT reply actions

It never occurred to me that I could have been a “Spitz-spawn”, nor that my mother ever wanted to fuck the living shit out of anything…am I naive? On another note, and from a hetero-male perspective…that guy looks gay, and that moustache is no more than a mouth-muff.

by sb on Mar 20, 2008 5:05 PM EDT reply actions

Spitz or Swallow?

by NewAZTiger on Mar 20, 2008 5:09 PM EDT reply actions

I’m pretty sure my mom would have left either of her husbands for Elvis if he made the offer. I’m not so sure he didn’t. I’m a hunk of burning love myself, so I could be a Elvis-spawn and my mom was the president of the local Elvis fan club in the town she lived in growing up.

That Spitz photo keeps wanting me to say, “Swimming medals- The White Man’s Bling, yo!”

by Out of Conference on Mar 20, 2008 5:17 PM EDT reply actions

If you want to know which high school in your state is the “whitest,” just see which ones have swim teams that are perrenial powers. It’s not that minorities can’t excel at swimming (or tennis, or cross-country), but why would they want to?

by Mark D on Mar 20, 2008 5:58 PM EDT reply actions