Margarita Mama’s! Orange women get in free ALL NIGHT.

Damn you, Irish Car bombs–were it not for your five dollar taste and multiple layers of intoxicating charm, Penn State might be avoiding a speedier climb up the Fulmer Cup charts. Yet Margarita Mama’s is to blame only in part, since Tyrell Sales did the voluntary purchasing, consumption, and then foolish behaviorin’ afterwards, though frankly the police in question pulled the trigger too quickly in this instance.

City police said Sales, who will be a fifth-year senior, became belligerent when he was asked to leave the club.

Sales is accused of yelling and screaming at officers, balling his hands into fists and shouting obscenities, city police said.

That’s just another night out with mom here at Swindle Manor, but whatever: Margarita Mama’s advertises itself as “Where Pittsburgh Parties,” meaning it’s likely where the lumpenproletariat go drink, rut, fight, and dance to the house remixes of “Since You’ve Been Gone” and, without irony, any Black Eyed Peas song. The police probably just crack out the cuffs when they walk in the door at the place.

That’s two points for Penn State and a reminder that if you’re going to pitch a drunk toddler tizzy, don’t do it in front of the police in Pittsburgh.

Bonus note: our research for this story has led us to the ultimate stomach cramping drink of all drinks, a reprehensible variation of the delicious Irish Car Bomb called the Backalley Pipebomb. From the Wiki entry:

Backalley Pipebomb - one shot of Popov and 1/2% milk dropped into a can of Pabst Blue Ribbon.

We’re not chemists, but that has to be one of the few things that can simultaneously smoke and curdle. It is also likely highly explosive, as it should explode with the application of force due to the sheer shame of its existence.