CURIOUS INDEX, 3/19/08

by Orson on Mar 19, 2008 10:16 AM EDT

Terrelle Pryor to finally announce his intentions today at a noon press conference. We predict he will delay his decision until after his successful CFL/NFL career, thus forcing Michigan, Ohio State, and Penn State fans to wait another 12 years for his announcement. Pryor's high school coach says Michigan has "closed the gap" over the past few weeks, giving Michigan fans a gentle but pleasant rub of the jumblies before the inevitable, mandatory jumbly-punch.

Your waiting music in the meantime: The Kinks.

June Jones, pay up motherfucker. Hawaii's attempting to pull a DickRod on June Jones, suggesting Jones missed the window on paying exactly $400,008 dollars he allegedly owes Hawaii for his departure. But what if he paid them $400,000 dollars and mailed them the rest in pennies. Dude, that would so totally burn them. We'll get the penny rolls. This is gonna be awesome.

Sizist! New Syracuse offensive coordinator says he "will not play fat people." (Nicole Kidman has that same rule, along with a refusal to play anyone whose forehead has to move.) Article includes pics of fat lineman in glorious people's orange uniforms. Pork Chop Womack almost read this whole article before having to swat one of his moons out of the way to finish it.

Nebraska pound ball more. Happy with pound ball more in 2008.

Yes, Penn State is on the board again. More on that in a bit.

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Penny lover, don’t you walk on by.
Penny lover, don’t you make me cry.

by Out of Conference on Mar 19, 2008 10:20 AM EDT reply actions

What are ass pennies?

What you do, is you take $400,000 in pennies, and shove them all up your ass – one at a time of course, and then mail them in the University of Hawaii.

Why would I want to shove that many pennies up my ass?

Well, people are going to need change, right? And the University will give it back to them in pennies. Then you’ll have the satisfaction of knowing that the state of Hawaii is handling something you had in your ass.

by Ground0EastLansing on Mar 19, 2008 10:20 AM EDT reply actions

+100 ~~pennies~~ cocktails to Ground0. That may be the funniest comedy sketch that has ever aired on any TV show in existence.

On an unrelated note, I’m already sick of Terrelle Pryor.

by Doug on Mar 19, 2008 10:48 AM EDT reply actions

Paying with pennies is like tipping strippers with silver dollars. A totally awesome yet sadly unfeasible idea that just makes people around you angry.

by Brian on Mar 19, 2008 10:52 AM EDT reply actions

Pryor is proving its possible to be a bigger asshat than Jimmy Clausen…. he’s got aspirations of being Ryan Leaf

by beckett929 on Mar 19, 2008 10:52 AM EDT reply actions

Beautiful Flying V by Dave Davies. Nice prom tux shirts too.

by OhioDawg on Mar 19, 2008 10:53 AM EDT reply actions

beckett929 said: “Pryor is proving its possible to be a bigger asshat than Jimmy Clausen.”

Which before now was assumed to be impossible by most of the scientific community.

by Because They Can on Mar 19, 2008 10:57 AM EDT reply actions

excellent kinks right there.
As a PSU fan, i expect to see Pryor at OSU. And can only hope this gives Joe less of a leg to stand on when he inevitably tries to coach into his 90’s.

by DanF on Mar 19, 2008 10:59 AM EDT reply actions

That clip would be aw-sum if they weren’t pantomiming.

by NRBQ on Mar 19, 2008 11:01 AM EDT reply actions

5, 7: Of course, Clausen does still look like an emu, so he’ll LOOK like a bigger asshat than Pryor almost no matter what.

Regardless of where Pryor goes I think we’re looking at minimum one Fightin’ in da Club contribution to the Fulmer Cup during his career.

by Yinka Double Dare on Mar 19, 2008 11:35 AM EDT reply actions

“hes got aspirations of being Ryan Leaf”

Woah, woah, woah. Let’s not say things we can’t take back.

by Carlinthemarlin on Mar 19, 2008 11:49 AM EDT reply actions

He’s all Buckeye, beyotches.

Oh, and comparing him to whiter-than-Orson Ryan Leaf is racist, like he’s riding dirty, inventing AIDS, and scaring Obama’s pasty white Nana with his blactasticity. Suck it.

by Sherlock Hemlock on Mar 19, 2008 12:05 PM EDT reply actions