TO SIR, WITH LOLZ.

by Holly Anderson on Mar 17, 2008 12:39 PM EDT

Holly has very sad news for you. Be jacked and pumped, but only in the saddest of ways.

Server glitch? Price of fame? Low-level NCAA violation potential? Who knows, but one way or another Pete Carroll's Facebook profile is no more. And while it brought us all incalculable joy to tread just a little closer to his radiance, I have to say---as a mortal being of woman born, having to look at his status updates every morning was forcing me to examine my life in ways I'm not sure I was ready for.

February 22:

February 25:

March 1:

March 8:

March 13:

I'll miss you, sir. But my self-worth is drinking to your departure.

[HT: The Great Barstoolio, who screencapped my face ten times.]

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You missed my personal favorites: “Pete Carroll is rocking out to some Foo Fighters.” and “Pete Carroll had a great time this weekend but is looking forward to work on Monday!”

Who is this leader of MEN?

by robert on Mar 17, 2008 1:11 PM EDT reply actions

I’m so relieved—I thought he unfriended me because of that incident at the grotto last week…

by CKGator on Mar 17, 2008 1:13 PM EDT reply actions

He’s gone from my life just as quickly as he appeared, like a tempest.
Farewell, sweet prince (of being stoked).

by jebus on Mar 17, 2008 1:16 PM EDT reply actions

thanks Holly for giving me a new screen saver… which I will explain to my gf as the picture of the woman who invented the “spread eagle” offensive formation

she may not believe, but for a while I will get to fantasize about my new futbawl buddy and our secret “huddle talk”

by Futbawl Fan on Mar 17, 2008 1:20 PM EDT reply actions

Here to help.

by Holly on Mar 17, 2008 1:23 PM EDT reply actions

Checking someone’s facebook status feels so creppy, but once you start updating your own with ‘Client No. 9’ references you don’t feel so wierd.

by mlmintampa on Mar 17, 2008 1:33 PM EDT reply actions

Were you able to uncover his secret source of energy? (Since he’s in L.A. I’m assuming it’s yayo, but Pete seems to hide the mouth twitchiness and sniffles many a cokehead sports.)

by Will (the other one) on Mar 17, 2008 2:10 PM EDT reply actions

There’s reality, and then there’s Pete Carroll. Jealous of that asshole.

by meatybob on Mar 17, 2008 2:21 PM EDT reply actions

All ten times were a pleasure and not the least bit creppy.

by The Great Barstoolio on Mar 17, 2008 3:01 PM EDT reply actions

How many people can I call up past midnight and ask them to screencap my status updates, and have them do it without a second thought? You’re a national treasure.

by Holly on Mar 17, 2008 3:12 PM EDT reply actions

DO NOT BRING NICHOLAS CAGE INTO OUR LOVE.

by The Great Barstoolio on Mar 17, 2008 3:53 PM EDT reply actions

Red hair and a pasty complexion? I think today is somone’s favorite day!

by Mike and His Four Noble Truths on Mar 17, 2008 3:55 PM EDT reply actions

I’M NOT PASTY; I’M ALABASTER.

(Wait, were you talking about me?)

by Holly on Mar 17, 2008 4:08 PM EDT reply actions

Yes, and my apologies for the pasty comment, maam. I meant lily white.

by Mike and His Four Noble Truths on Mar 17, 2008 4:19 PM EDT reply actions

That’s more like it.

by Holly on Mar 17, 2008 4:24 PM EDT reply actions

I thought the issue was “red hair” in combination with “drinks heavily” makes this one of the best days of the year.

by oc phil on Mar 17, 2008 4:28 PM EDT reply actions

Being translucently pale goes along with it, sadly.

by Holly on Mar 17, 2008 4:50 PM EDT reply actions

So is a “Property of St. Patrick” picture out of the question for today?

by Mike and His Four Noble Truths on Mar 17, 2008 5:19 PM EDT reply actions

Completely, and it’s not because I’m a bad sport. This is why.

by Holly on Mar 17, 2008 5:50 PM EDT reply actions

At least being Property of Tebow grants you Certified Christian status.

by Allahver Fist on Mar 18, 2008 9:04 AM EDT reply actions

Damn, I hate it when one jerk spoils things for everyone. I hope at least it was someone who knew your mom in person. If somebody tracked her down and found her only because of the blogs that would be too stalkeriffic.

by oc phil on Mar 18, 2008 4:54 PM EDT reply actions