CURIOUS INDEX, 3/14/08

by Orson on Mar 14, 2008 9:16 AM EDT

Albert has exquisite taste in his college football reading:

West Virginia police arrested Noel Devine for a misdemeanor assault charge, meaning Bill Stewart better free up a scholly right quick. (Any fifth year seniors around who'll never crack the lineup? They'll do--just make sure they don't have custodianship of a brother and heavy prior media exposure.) As reader Cincy wrote in:

Associative property in action

Devine is faster than the Sooners.

Police faster than devine.

thus, now the police are faster than my Sooners? DAMMIT!!!

Yes. Fortunately, Oklahoma does not have to play the Morgantown PD Rec Squad yet. If they do opt to schedule them for a game, we recommend that they do it during the regular season, when Oklahoma's near-automatic, rather than late in the season or during bowl season when Oklahoma enters bat country and the oddity starts.

That's one point for Devine's arrest on a misdemeanor assault chargefrom a February incident in a Morgantown night club. Four others were arrested, but it's unclear whether they're charged with anything at all, or whether the police are doing what police are wont to do with college kids, which is rounding up a group of them and scaring the shit out of them. ("Your friends will rat you out on the sign-stealing charge! You know they will! We know who stole the traffic cone!)

LSU's first spring practice was sloppy, with nothing more notable in terms of news than new quarterbacks missing signals and kickers and punters performing well. If you're looking for rumors, though:

"It is a cold," Miles said. "I shook hands with the wrong guy."

Rumorriffic: Is Miles trying to say he agreed on a contract number he didn't like, since Miles hasn't actually agreed on a final salary number with LSU? Is he trying to say he just made an irresistible deal with Beelzebub himself? Did he shake hands with Bobby Petrino at one point earlier in the day? Or is he merely suggesting LSU officials are disease-ridden pathogen farms? OR DOES HE SIMPLY HAVE A COLD? We leave you to decide, reader!

USC's Fulmer Cup points are dropped thanks to charges against defensive tackle Fili Moala being dropped.

Two good bits from Tony Barnhardt's spring practice review: One:

I talked to some South Carolina people at the Georgia Dome yesterday and they tell me that linebacker Jasper Brinkley (from Thomson) is up to about 270 and that it is all muscle.

My ass. Or we don't want to believe Jasper Brinkley could get any more hellacious; when South Carolina lost him to injury last year they started giving up thousands of yards on the ground as a defense. At 270, South Carolina could just move him up to the line, drop ten in coverage, and have a fine pass rush with exceptional coverage. However, on rush defense they'd have to move up at least one other guy to shift to a 2-3-6 defense.

And this:

Former Michigan quarterback Ryan Mallett is asking the NCAA to waive its transfer rule in order to be eligible this season at Arkansas. I reached out to some Arkansas folks and they said they dont know when the ruling will come down. Mallett will not get a waiver.

So Arkansas will, for the moment, have to start a quarterback who can move. Shame.

Tweet Comment 33 comments | 0 recs |

Do you like this story?

Comments

East Coast bias my ass, USC fans. Alabama can’t even get it’s FC points adjusted when the team captain gets trumped up charges dropped – even when it turns out the po-po were lying and their written testimony differed from 4 security cameras (in other words, the police lied and got caught).

by Sad State of Affairs on Mar 14, 2008 9:22 AM EDT reply actions

Note: those need to be dropped as well, and will be in the accounting for Monday.

by Orson Swindle on Mar 14, 2008 9:27 AM EDT reply actions

So, Les Miles = Johnny Favorite ?

by Scalz1 on Mar 14, 2008 9:30 AM EDT reply actions

we all know that the only reason the Morgantown PD beat us was because they were playing on pure emotion after losing their beloved (and now despised) Chief of Police to the Ann Arbor PD

by okiedomer on Mar 14, 2008 9:41 AM EDT reply actions

A night Devine is arrested is a night no one gets pregnant.

by Allahver Fist on Mar 14, 2008 9:41 AM EDT reply actions

seriously though, do you think any of the arresting officers are big enough to play defensive end and still have some eligibility left?

by okiedomer on Mar 14, 2008 9:42 AM EDT reply actions

I am schocked – schocked I tell you, that Noel Devine had a hand in any wrongdoing. Another case of the man keepin’ him down!

by Crabapple Buck on Mar 14, 2008 9:52 AM EDT reply actions

Rumor is that Petrino is claiming hardship as the case to get Mallet to play this year.

The Hardship you ask? Casey Dick.

by ThreenOut on Mar 14, 2008 9:56 AM EDT reply actions

So he’s got a good case then, huh?

by Carlinthemarlin on Mar 14, 2008 9:58 AM EDT reply actions

Soo…this all comes from a Mac eh? Interesting.

by Brian on Mar 14, 2008 9:59 AM EDT reply actions

good interesting or bad interesting, Brian?

by AllWhoYonder on Mar 14, 2008 10:04 AM EDT reply actions

I shook hands with the wrong guy.

Didn’t Marlowe write about this? The way I look at it, this gives him 24 more years. Les Miles, you’re on the clock.

by Mike and His Four Noble Truths on Mar 14, 2008 10:06 AM EDT reply actions

Nice piece on Dick and the Cocks – oh sorry, wrong blog…

Thanks for the info on Brinkley – does this mean that we can at least hope to be called a spider monkey with a coping saw for a dick? Spider monkeys are fierce.

by Out of Conference on Mar 14, 2008 10:16 AM EDT reply actions

If I was Miles I’d take that deal ‘n crawfish, then drill that ol’ devil in the ass.

by Biggus Rickus on Mar 14, 2008 10:16 AM EDT reply actions

CSI Morgantown: Special Couch-Fire/Meth Lab Investigation Unit

by PW on Mar 14, 2008 10:29 AM EDT reply actions

Dude, it’s transitive property, not associative.

Go MAC!

by JDav on Mar 14, 2008 10:30 AM EDT reply actions

Macs are fine as long as you dont read Mac world and suck Steve Job’s dick every time he puts out some new thing.

OH Ohhhhh, OH! this just fucking occurred to me. Is Erin Andrews in the house, or will she be in the house, has she been in the house, etc. Keep us posted on some kind of “Erin Andrews/hottie sportscaster” update please. Remember it IS Friday.

by Brian on Mar 14, 2008 10:33 AM EDT reply actions

Yeah, get Erin to point her ass at the camera and “look awesome”.

by Allahver Fist on Mar 14, 2008 10:38 AM EDT reply actions

I’ll take what Brian is saying a step further. If she walks by, start offering Mardi Gras beads for her to “look awesome”.

Do this and I will forgive you for puffin’ the Pearl pecker yesterday.

by Mike and His Four Noble Truths on Mar 14, 2008 10:40 AM EDT reply actions

Orson, Shouldn’t your Noel Devine/Oklahoma/Morgantown PD example be “transitive property in action”?

by PW on Mar 14, 2008 10:47 AM EDT reply actions

The other guy up front in that 2-3-6 would be Nathan Pepper, also coming back from an early-season injury. Between these two returning and McFadden going pro, maybe I can stop grinding whatever’s left of my teeth when we’re on defense.

by impirius on Mar 14, 2008 10:52 AM EDT reply actions

Wait, four WVU football players were arrested. Isnt’ that four points?

by Brian O'Blivion on Mar 14, 2008 11:00 AM EDT reply actions

Rey Maualuga owns the Fulmer Cup,

by Boy Howdy on Mar 14, 2008 11:02 AM EDT reply actions

O – they were all charged with battery. The points for the others should count.

by Brian O'Blivion on Mar 14, 2008 11:03 AM EDT reply actions

He’s donating it to the LAPD for safekeeping since USCK owns them too. Maybe the Fulmer Cup should have a subsection – the PD / “justice system” for the city / town that ’lets off ’ (enables) the largest number of charged miscreants after the proper “juice” has been put into the system. Seems like Happy Valley might give LA a run in that race.

by MassDad on Mar 14, 2008 11:24 AM EDT reply actions

Where did I get 14, meant 22!

by MassDad on Mar 14, 2008 11:24 AM EDT reply actions

it’s never a good sign when a coach reports from spring practice and all he can say is that the kickers looked good…

by Hey Dalton- I thought you'd be bigger... on Mar 14, 2008 12:00 PM EDT reply actions

MassDad @ 25 – Oh be serious. USC doesn’t have to buy off the law in Orange County, USC alumni are the law in Orange County. That’s why we can focus our effort$ on the LA po-po.

by DC Trojan on Mar 14, 2008 12:23 PM EDT reply actions

Biggus @14

Saban already did it.

by sonofsamford on Mar 14, 2008 1:57 PM EDT reply actions

I think what Miles said was code that he is a foot-tapper

by King Harvest on Mar 14, 2008 2:54 PM EDT reply actions

Yes to transitive property… thats my bad guys. Orson was just dutifully quoting the source (myself) as written, like a good journalist-impersonator/blogger should. Don’t shoot the messenger.

And according to his post there are more points on the horizon, but the charges haven’t been made public yet on the other players.

by CincySooner on Mar 14, 2008 4:31 PM EDT reply actions