CURIOUS INDEX, 3/13/08

by Orson on Mar 13, 2008 9:36 AM EDT

Twenty years ago the most important moment in humanity occurred.

You've been Rickrolled on the twentieth anniversary of "Never Gonna Give You Up" hitting number one, motherfuckers. And you're welcome.

Southern Miss, on the board. And on the board large for a three point drug possession charge for Tory Harrison, who as they say int the Dirty was doin' things real big.

He has been charged with possession of over 2 kilos of marijuana with intent to distribute. Police say he had 5 pounds of marijuana in his possession.

Oh, my. While not comparable to the 92 pounds Reuben Houston of Georgia Tech had hauled to his dorm, five pounds of weed in one's possession is a formidable thing indeed. You can actually start your own fiefdom in a college environment with that kind of green, and your name will be sung in epic verse and song for years.

Unsurprisingly:

According to his Southern Miss player profile, Harrison was majoring in business administration with an emphasis in entrepreneurship and small business management.

If there's no other argument for legalization you can buy, consider all the field work and practical experience credit not being counted on college campuses as enterprising young business people leverage risk, work live prices in the marketplace, and perfect supply chain systems. Plus, in a recession, who can blame him for buying in bulk?

Paul's got a list of the coaches with the longest tenure without a BCS bid, and number one with a bullet is Tommy Bowden. Eight years without a BCS bid, nosepicking on national television, and a clumsy diplomatic snafu with the departure of media darling Ray Ray McElrathbey from the team: the first three things coming to mind when the name Tommy Bowden gets pulled from the hat. Oh, wait: nepotism, too. You can't forget good old-fashioned toxic nepotism.

First pick: Bowden is the leader in BCS drought.

Bo Pelini has suspended "several players" and booted (pun) kicker (see?) Daniel Lee from the team. No word on Andy Christensen's fate, the lineman arrested for sexual assault earlier this week.

Kevlar, the business jacket of choice. From an interview with Steve Slaton et. al, a fine estimation of the situation former WVU coaches faced when moving their families from West Virginia to their new digs in Michigan.

FINDER: Did the coaches up at Michigan talk to you guys about what was happening back at West Virginia, with all the fan reaction?

RIVERS: They really don't care. They're up there. [After selling their Morgantown houses and moving their families], they're not trying to get their [butts] shot at here in West Virginia.

We're sure they're joking. Why, West Virginia has one of the lowest home foreclosure rates in the nation, is full of beautiful vistas and scenery, and is an ideal place to raise a family or start a business. And we would never want to piss off people with booze and guns. Especially ones in such a wonderful, reasonable place? You're not pointing that as us, now, are you?

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Black dude with his sweet fence jump/freestyle walking moves + Zach Morris guy doing the figure skating moves and robotic blonde woman = the hottness.

by Brian on Mar 13, 2008 9:43 AM EDT reply actions

I can remember back in the day when a possession with intent to distirbute charge would get you on the cover of Sports Illustrated. Now we get two in one day. Maybe ESPN the Mag can do one, SI the other.

by HeadThief on Mar 13, 2008 9:57 AM EDT reply actions

Hey, you leave Tommy alone!!!! He’s pickin’ my dinner!

by Homeless Clemson Guy on Mar 13, 2008 10:04 AM EDT reply actions

First Phil Collins, now Rick Astley . . . have you guys been hacking my iPod?

by Doug on Mar 13, 2008 10:04 AM EDT reply actions

With a slight variation in fit, that Rick Astley video is seriously how the New York hipsters have been dressing lately. I’m kinda feeling that stripped polo with the blazer, too.

by The Humanitarian on Mar 13, 2008 10:17 AM EDT reply actions

Damn, Tory…

Never thought I’d see the day a fellow Leesburg High Yellow Jacket would make the Fulmer board much less earn a mention from Swindle…

The homies in Carver would be proud…

by gatorhippy on Mar 13, 2008 10:18 AM EDT reply actions

of course if you’re more of a visual person, you can take a look at that rick astley song via pie chart.

by gerry dorsey on Mar 13, 2008 10:24 AM EDT reply actions

Good lord…. I can’t count the amount of times some $%$##@$ on a board has hotlinked that video and ruined my day.

by ThreenOut on Mar 13, 2008 10:26 AM EDT reply actions

- your name is redundant.

by offcampus on Mar 13, 2008 10:28 AM EDT reply actions

I remember when that song came out. I look at that video now and think to myself:

a) the voice doesn’t match the face because he looks barely eleven years old,

b) his ca 1988 dancing looks like he’s either got a hoola hoop around him or he’s got a bad case of the runs, and

c) the double denim he’ sporting with the Ray Bans…yeah, I rocked that outfit one time too at the 6th grade dance (hangs head in shame)

by Geaux Irish on Mar 13, 2008 10:29 AM EDT reply actions

I am shocked to see the ‘burg involved in such notoriety. Normally our claim to fame is vampire killers or the school board banning books. It’s too bad. Tory was a great kid in HS.

by UF Ghostal on Mar 13, 2008 10:32 AM EDT reply actions

Is the longest tenured coaches w/o a BCS bid more of an indictment of the coaches for not getting to a BCS bowl or of the schools for allowing their coach to toil in mediocrity?

I say it’s a mix of both. Some of those programs are on the BCS doorstep and about to burst through (Rutgers, Missouri), while others have underachieved given their talent level (Clemson, Cal).

by PW on Mar 13, 2008 10:35 AM EDT reply actions

Man, the ‘80s were white. Too bad I wasn’t in my twenties then. I could have passably danced.

by Biggus Rickus on Mar 13, 2008 10:36 AM EDT reply actions

1) $20 says his pants legs were tight rolled.

2) When is the legal system going to realize we don’t use the metric system anymore. I buy my coke and smoke by the ounce, not 28 grams.

As you were.

by Mike and His Four Noble Truths on Mar 13, 2008 10:41 AM EDT reply actions

Thank god for internet filters

by Reggie Bush's Impala on Mar 13, 2008 10:41 AM EDT reply actions

Don’t you mean kilos?

by PW on Mar 13, 2008 10:43 AM EDT reply actions

I can’t even begin to tell you how little time Nick Saban has for this shit!!!

by haybeav on Mar 13, 2008 10:47 AM EDT reply actions

#11…

I’m wit ya…

I played ball/went to school with some of his folk back in the day and knew Tory when he was a tyke…

He comes from good people but some of them have a hand in the “underground”…

Disappointed but not really surprised…

As I’m sure you know; there’s a certain lifestyle in da ‘Burg and sometimes you can’t get away from it no matter how far you run…

by gatorhippy on Mar 13, 2008 10:48 AM EDT reply actions

#11…

And just for the record…

Vampire/Idiot Rod Ferrell did his handiwork in that dried up POS of god forsaken place called Eustis and hailed from Kentucky…

Please don’t associate him with da ’Burg…

by gatorhippy on Mar 13, 2008 10:51 AM EDT reply actions

- He has been charged with possession of over 2 kilos of marijuana… -

Just charge him with possession of 5 pounds. It saves me the trouble of having to explain to my grandmother and other less shady friends and family the conversion to standard (American) measurements. Rewrite the criminal codes and while you’re at it, legalize it.

(stepping off soapbox)

As you were.

by Mike and His Four Noble Truths on Mar 13, 2008 10:54 AM EDT reply actions

Bowden takes over the top spot thanks to Arkansas giving Houston Nutt the boot. Funny how much Bowden and Nutt have in common, what with the lack of BCS bids, the nepotism and the nosepicking.

by Legs McNone on Mar 13, 2008 10:59 AM EDT reply actions

- you made my day. 100+ to you sir.

by Bama93 on Mar 13, 2008 11:06 AM EDT reply actions

Sorry Mike, my eyes skipped right over “28” so all I saw was “I buy my coke and smoke by the ounce, not grams.”

by PW on Mar 13, 2008 11:08 AM EDT reply actions

nevermind, I’m not sure what I was trying to say.
/idiot

by PW on Mar 13, 2008 11:10 AM EDT reply actions

This version of the Astley video is much tastier:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K_rwqhXcWWk

And here’s a handy graph:
http://flickr.com/photos/boyshapedbox/2282655473/in/set-72157603957925616/

And here’s to Tory Harrison, a young Stringer Bell in training.

by dogtown gator on Mar 13, 2008 11:14 AM EDT reply actions

Man, I wish I was Ed Norton’s agent b/c the Rick Astley biopic is going to transform the genre!

by EZ on Mar 13, 2008 11:28 AM EDT reply actions

Orson… you made my week. I have been imitating his voice in that song all month not knowing that we were upon the 20 year anniversary. Rick was a terrific ambassador to bridge the gap between Elvis and Eminem.

by Michigan Gator on Mar 13, 2008 11:34 AM EDT reply actions

Down here, we use an even more arcane unit of measure for yeyo: the eight ball.

by southernmost on Mar 13, 2008 11:38 AM EDT reply actions

I enjoy being RickRolled, and anyone who says otherwise is a lying liar.

Also, gotta love the cameo by Martin Lawrence!

by Eirishis on Mar 13, 2008 12:04 PM EDT reply actions

Prior to each UConn game, me and my tailgating crew gather in a circle and dance to that song. It started in 2005 when we took my mother’s big SUV to tailgate and, as a joke, I played her Rick Astley CD when everyone else wanted some Guns’n’Roses. Instead of anarchy…a dance broke out.

In 2007, UConn was undefeated at home when a Rick Astley dance took place followed by the shotgunning of a beer.

Never doubt the power of Rick.

by Edsall is God on Mar 13, 2008 12:06 PM EDT reply actions

As a Mountaineer, I will tell you honestly that we hate the stereotyping you are perpetuating, and if you ever come here, we will shoot you.

Rodriguez can kiss our ass.

by Hossnfeffer on Mar 13, 2008 12:27 PM EDT reply actions

Thank you Orson. Do you know what’s better than being Rickrolled? Being Rickrolled on 5lbs of weed.

by odell51 on Mar 13, 2008 12:39 PM EDT reply actions

There may be some shootin’ going on, but the leading cause of death for young adults in W.V. is overdose, usually from prescription painkillers.

In fact, West Virginians are more likely to die from drug overdose than residents of any other state.

by NRBQ on Mar 13, 2008 3:09 PM EDT reply actions

5 lbs? Can’t he plead personal use?

by OhioDawg on Mar 13, 2008 3:40 PM EDT reply actions

Was that really a hit in the 80’s? It sounds so generic that I couldn’t say I’d ever heard of the singer or song before today. Strange.

by oc phil on Mar 13, 2008 9:08 PM EDT reply actions

WVU should be jumping up in the Cup standings with this little gem.

http://www.wvgazette.com/latest/200803130792

by Pitt Panthers on Mar 13, 2008 10:26 PM EDT reply actions

If this has already been posted…sorry for the repeat…

Is anyone shocked to see Devine involved?

http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/2008/football/ncaa/03/13/mountaineers.devine.ap/index.html

by CapstoneAlum on Mar 13, 2008 11:56 PM EDT reply actions

Thanks Orson. No, seriously, THANKS. Not only did you bring back unwanted memories of one of history’s truly worst songs, but also the entire melange of my life back then.I think I’ll go kill myself now. Thanks.

by jed on Mar 14, 2008 1:29 AM EDT reply actions