CURIOUS INDEX, 3/13/08
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Twenty years ago the most important moment in humanity occurred. You’ve been Rickrolled on the twentieth anniversary of “Never Gonna Give You Up” hitting number one, motherfuckers. And you’re welcome. Southern Miss, on the board. And on the board large for a three point drug possession charge for Tory Harrison, who as they say int the Dirty was doin’ things real big. He has been charged with possession of over 2 kilos of marijuana with intent to distribute. Police say he had 5 pounds of marijuana in his possession. Oh, my. While not comparable to the 92 pounds Reuben Houston of Georgia Tech had hauled to his dorm, five pounds of weed in one’s possession is a formidable thing indeed. You can actually start your own fiefdom in a college environment with that kind of green, and your name will be sung in epic verse and song for years. Unsurprisingly: According to his Southern Miss player profile, Harrison was majoring in business administration with an emphasis in entrepreneurship and small business management. If there’s no other argument for legalization you can buy, consider all the field work and practical experience credit not being counted on college campuses as enterprising young business people leverage risk, work live prices in the marketplace, and perfect supply chain systems. Plus, in a recession, who can blame him for buying in bulk? Paul’s got a list of the coaches with the longest tenure without a BCS bid, and number one with a bullet is Tommy Bowden. Eight years without a BCS bid, nosepicking on national television, and a clumsy diplomatic snafu with the departure of media darling Ray Ray McElrathbey from the team: the first three things coming to mind when the name Tommy Bowden gets pulled from the hat. Oh, wait: nepotism, too. You can’t forget good old-fashioned toxic nepotism.
Bo Pelini has suspended “several players” and booted (pun) kicker (see?) Daniel Lee from the team. No word on Andy Christensen’s fate, the lineman arrested for sexual assault earlier this week. Kevlar, the business jacket of choice. From an interview with Steve Slaton et. al, a fine estimation of the situation former WVU coaches faced when moving their families from West Virginia to their new digs in Michigan. FINDER: Did the coaches up at Michigan talk to you guys about what was happening back at West Virginia, with all the fan reaction? RIVERS: They really don’t care. They’re up there. [After selling their Morgantown houses and moving their families], they’re not trying to get their [butts] shot at here in West Virginia. We’re sure they’re joking. Why, West Virginia has one of the lowest home foreclosure rates in the nation, is full of beautiful vistas and scenery, and is an ideal place to raise a family or start a business. And we would never want to piss off people with booze and guns. Especially ones in such a wonderful, reasonable place? You’re not pointing that as us, now, are you? |
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38
Thanks Orson. No, seriously, THANKS. Not only did you bring back unwanted memories of one of history’s truly worst songs, but also the entire melange of my life back then.I think I’ll go kill myself now. Thanks.
Comment by jed — March 14, 2008 @ 12:29 am
37
If this has already been posted…sorry for the repeat…
Is anyone shocked to see Devine involved?
http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/2008/football/ncaa/03/13/mountaineers.devine.ap/index.html
Comment by CapstoneAlum — March 13, 2008 @ 10:56 pm
36
WVU should be jumping up in the Cup standings with this little gem.
http://www.wvgazette.com/latest/200803130792
Comment by Pitt Panthers — March 13, 2008 @ 9:26 pm
35
Was that really a hit in the 80’s? It sounds so generic that I couldn’t say I’d ever heard of the singer or song before today. Strange.
Comment by oc phil — March 13, 2008 @ 8:08 pm
34
5 lbs? Can’t he plead personal use?
Comment by OhioDawg — March 13, 2008 @ 2:40 pm
33
There may be some shootin’ going on, but the leading cause of death for young adults in W.V. is overdose, usually from prescription painkillers.
In fact, West Virginians are more likely to die from drug overdose than residents of any other state.
Comment by NRBQ — March 13, 2008 @ 2:09 pm
32
Thank you Orson. Do you know what’s better than being Rickrolled? Being Rickrolled on 5lbs of weed.
Comment by odell51 — March 13, 2008 @ 11:39 am
31
As a Mountaineer, I will tell you honestly that we hate the stereotyping you are perpetuating, and if you ever come here, we will shoot you.
Rodriguez can kiss our ass.
Comment by Hossnfeffer — March 13, 2008 @ 11:27 am
30
Prior to each UConn game, me and my tailgating crew gather in a circle and dance to that song. It started in 2005 when we took my mother’s big SUV to tailgate and, as a joke, I played her Rick Astley CD when everyone else wanted some Guns’n'Roses. Instead of anarchy…a dance broke out.
In 2007, UConn was undefeated at home when a Rick Astley dance took place followed by the shotgunning of a beer.
Never doubt the power of Rick.
Comment by Edsall is God — March 13, 2008 @ 11:06 am
29
I enjoy being RickRolled, and anyone who says otherwise is a lying liar.
Also, gotta love the cameo by Martin Lawrence!
Comment by Eirishis — March 13, 2008 @ 11:04 am
28
Down here, we use an even more arcane unit of measure for yeyo: the eight ball.
Comment by southernmost — March 13, 2008 @ 10:38 am
27
Orson… you made my week. I have been imitating his voice in that song all month not knowing that we were upon the 20 year anniversary. Rick was a terrific ambassador to bridge the gap between Elvis and Eminem.
Comment by Michigan Gator — March 13, 2008 @ 10:34 am
26
Man, I wish I was Ed Norton’s agent b/c the Rick Astley biopic is going to transform the genre!
Comment by EZ — March 13, 2008 @ 10:28 am