HOGS AND DOGS IN NEW DIGS IN 2009

by Orson on Mar 11, 2008 2:35 PM EDT

Ghosts of the SWC, rise: Texas A&M and Arkansas will be playing their old Cash Conference rivalry in Jerry Jones' new digs in 2009. In addition to conjuring up all the spirits of the SWC rivalry, the rematch will give Jones a chance to swing his financial whanger around in front of college football fans, too, who will marvel at the splendor of Jones' wealth as represented by the planned features of the stadium. These include:

The Corpus Christi River. 100,000 gallons of fresh flowing gravy flowing at unnatural rates from a dramatic cascade in the north endzone.

The Jerry Jones Facial Center. Open for plastic surgery for men, of course. What did you think we meant?

The Jimmy Johnson Men's Room. Located on the ground floor of the stadium. Includes a diorama and brief exhibit about Johnson's accomplishments in the franchise, located in stall #4. Easy access from gate 4.

The Tom Landry Museum. Located in Stall #5 of the Jimmy Johnson Men's Room.

I'm not gonna teach your boyfriend how to dance. But Jerry will.

Jones is a graduate of the University of Arkansas and was a captain on their 1964 national championship team, back when little 180 pound white guys could play on the offensive line. He also hired Barry Switzer and Chan Gailey as NFL coaches. That is all.

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Dang I love that picture.

by ThreenOut on Mar 11, 2008 2:41 PM EDT reply actions

That picture would be a perfect substitute for this classic: http://www.stopgeek.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/07/sense.jpg

by CardsFan922 on Mar 11, 2008 2:50 PM EDT reply actions

and college football returns to Arlington, TX! somewhere ryan amacher curses cruel fate.

by kleph on Mar 11, 2008 3:06 PM EDT reply actions

Next to the Steelers, I always liked the Cowgirls. Then Jerry came along and ruined the party. Now I can’t think of a team I detest worse (other then the Iggles).

He also hired Mr Hairspray.

by yoyofutbawl on Mar 11, 2008 3:20 PM EDT reply actions

I’m with yoyofutbawl — good God almighty, I hate Jerry Jones, and between him and Petrino that’s more than enough to wish a 3-9 season on the Hogs.

by Doug on Mar 11, 2008 3:25 PM EDT reply actions

Doug-

Much appreciated. We’ll try to hasten the demise of the Scumbag in Starksville this November. But, I would lilke to see Ol’ GIGGETY-GIGGETY get his ass whupped by UPig.

by yoyofutbawl on Mar 11, 2008 3:56 PM EDT reply actions

I know Jerry’s dancing, but I prefer to think he’s mid-fart.

/potty humor

by sonofsamford on Mar 11, 2008 4:09 PM EDT reply actions

..what ’s being overlooked here is the payout; both schools conservatively estimate the revenue of the game to be $5 million— per school.

That’s more than any non-BCS bowl pays..

by Will on Mar 11, 2008 4:26 PM EDT reply actions

The Rose Bowl will break this up somehow.

by Orson Swindle on Mar 11, 2008 4:31 PM EDT reply actions

And does Notre Dame wants a piece, too.

by Orson Swindle on Mar 11, 2008 4:31 PM EDT reply actions

well, be sure to tell the fighting irish that UTA’s Maverick Stadium right down the street has plenty of availability.

by kleph on Mar 11, 2008 4:37 PM EDT reply actions

Hey, Switzer won a Super Bowl. And they did it their way, baby!

by Hannibal Montegna on Mar 11, 2008 4:49 PM EDT reply actions

Is that Stuart Scott??

by Houndstooth Homer on Mar 11, 2008 4:51 PM EDT reply actions

Houndstooth— No, that’s not Stu Scott— that kid has both eyes on the prize.

by Will on Mar 11, 2008 5:11 PM EDT reply actions

That’s some white dude overbite right thar.

by Brian O'Blivion on Mar 11, 2008 5:17 PM EDT reply actions

This should be a great event to attend. You can enjoy the game then be in walking distance to easily accessible drugs and street walkers. I should know I work about 10 minutes from the stadium. Klep do you live in the Metroplex area?

by TideInTx on Mar 11, 2008 6:00 PM EDT reply actions

HURR HURR PETRINO WILL GO BACK TO THE NFL BEFORE THEY PLAY THAT GAME ARKIE SO STUPID HURR

by bandwagon billy on Mar 11, 2008 10:15 PM EDT reply actions

many moons ago, my friend. i’ve got a degree from UTA and a rash from the Paradise Cafe.

by kleph on Mar 11, 2008 11:27 PM EDT reply actions

Once Texas and OU get a look at exactly how much money they’re missing out on, they’ll finally leave the Cotton Bowl for Jerryland.

Orson, you failed to mention the Dallas Cobwoys Cheerleaders Hall of Fame Exhibit….featuring the World’s Largest Can of White Rain.

by Studley on Mar 11, 2008 11:40 PM EDT reply actions

Oops, I meant Cowboys. Although they played like they had cobwebs in their brains this season.

by Studley on Mar 11, 2008 11:42 PM EDT reply actions

- Those are some memories. My Dad was a UTA grad. He never followed UTA football though. Arlington was a great town when I was a kid but then again back then Arlington, Ducanville, DeSoto, and Lancaster were all great places to live. Now they’re all crapholes. I used to live out in Red Oak but Dad always took us to Arlington on weekends for Taylors Bookstore, the arcade at Forum 303, and the Putt Putt (I think that might’ve been in Grand Prarie).

Putting a Cowboys stadium there in 1975 would’ve been a stroke of genius. Putting it there now kind of makes me scratch my head. Moving anything south in Dallas these days is just a bad idea. Funny how that’s swung around full circle. That stadium will be in a worse neighborhood than the Georgia Dome.

by Dante on Mar 12, 2008 12:14 AM EDT reply actions

@19 the deed has already been done.

by kleph on Mar 12, 2008 10:08 AM EDT reply actions

Keph,
Actually Texas and OU recently signed an extention to play their game in the Cotton Bowl for a few more years. The Cotton Bowl game (post season game) is moving to Jerry’s Boss Hog Bowl. It’s just funny the Cotton Bowl won’t be played in the Cotton Bowl.

by TideInTx on Mar 12, 2008 10:53 AM EDT reply actions

Moving the CB from the CB? I guess they’ll move the OB from the OB next, eh… er… yeah. Um. OK.

Hey, pump in some of that hard rock music into my college football stadium would ya? Georgia Power: the official power source of the Georgia Bulldogs? OK.

by UgasTexan on Mar 13, 2008 8:52 PM EDT reply actions