GEAR OUT OF CONTEXT: AUBURN
Again, if you get political about this, we’ll kill you all with a cattle gun. We were watching CNN’s story on Oklahoma lawmaker Sally Kern, who thinks that homosexuality is a bigger threat to the United States than “Islam or terrorism,” when we spotted NCAA sports gear during the “let’s interview the twanging commoners” portion of the story.

The woman’s nothing remarkable, and doesn’t say anything totally guffaw-worthy like “Gays shouldn’t be allowed to eat flatmeats off mah plates” or anything; she just says that the woman does have a right to free speech. We have a right to free speech, too, and would like to say that whatever sex ninja moves she knows must be spectacular, because she’s married the sexiest man in the Central Time Zone. Hellooooooooooo, Mr. Earp…
This puts Auburn well ahead of Florida and Ohio State, two schools whose gear was featured in a tasing and the world’s greatest incident of public masturbation ever, respectively.
(BTW, if you do watch the CNN clip, the only clear and present danger to our national security we see is Sally Kern’s hair. GAY BURRRRRNNNN!!!)









1
Holly says:
The universe provides, sometimes.
March 11th, 2008 at 3:06 pm
2
Coop says:
Am I the only one surprised that CNN takes advertising dollars from Jack Daniels?
I find the two entities an odd combination, and wonder if JD is getting their money’s worth on CNN.
I guess advertising on EDSBS would be a waste, as well, as we are all very familiar with their fine products.
March 11th, 2008 at 3:16 pm
3
Grimey says:
“Man, I hate gay people, because first of all they gay people… I just hate ‘em, cause they low down, they dirty, and they some snitches….”
March 11th, 2008 at 3:32 pm
4
Beauford says:
…I hate that rainbow…it’s just…that rainbow man, it ain’t even, like, a good rainbow.
March 11th, 2008 at 3:38 pm
5
Out of Conference says:
I have a gay problem. This is the perfect thread to open up about it. I love lesbians. There, I said it. But don’t think I love them all. Just the sexy ones that wore velvet pants, looked like playboy models built like a shit-brick house, and danced in the Art Bar in Columbia that glorious night 8 or 10 years ago when me and a buddy of mine ended up there in a drunken blur that ended with visions of those greek goddess-like venuses dancing to Prince’s “Pussy Control” and kissing and groping like junior high kids at lunch time. Oh lord, what a sight that was. That’s when I knew I loved lesbians.
March 11th, 2008 at 3:39 pm
6
DC Trojan says:
Maybe she’s pissed because some local leather queen mistook her for a recently shaven bear and put some moves on her?
(Not great, I know, but it’s hard to think of something that won’t get me red carded again.)
March 11th, 2008 at 3:45 pm
7
Doug says:
When an Auburn fan is the most reasonable person in a given situation, you know that shit has just gotten completely out of control.
March 11th, 2008 at 3:46 pm
8
DC Trojan says:
Put Sally Kern in a pair of sensible shorts and walking sandals in Provincetown, and watch the fur fly. So to speak.
March 11th, 2008 at 3:47 pm
9
Because They Can says:
…I’m not a Broadway person…and they always workin’ as hair or window dressers. And I don’t really like dressers.
March 11th, 2008 at 3:48 pm
10
Brian says:
Gas station Subway = boondocks.
Other key (but not surprising) piece of info from the wikipedia eye of truth: “Kern also made headlines for authoring a bill, which recently passed the Oklahoma House of Representatives, mandating that students who believe in Young Earth creationism still receive passing grades in Earth science classes.”
How long ago was the Scopes monkey trial again? I thought this one already got ironed out; but I guess we can work something out, Oklahoma: You keep sending us Carrie Underwood’s, and you can continue learning about creationism.
March 11th, 2008 at 3:50 pm
11
Coop says:
OOC,
you went to Art Bar? Was every other bar in 5 Points closed that night?
Conversely, that does not sound like too bad of an experience.
I have heard that it is not as friendly on the eyes as you described, though.
March 11th, 2008 at 3:52 pm
12
Wregl says:
Off topic:
pretty funny commercial featuring former Auburn TE and 1B, Frank Thomas. Enjoy
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jMdelLmvUf0&eurl
March 11th, 2008 at 4:06 pm
13
Brian O'Blivion says:
[Gay chop block joke REDACTED]
March 11th, 2008 at 4:06 pm
14
Out of Conference says:
Coop – the Art Bar (was- still is?) a crunchy, alternative club and everything that goes along with that description was there. Sadly, the crunchy hippy chick crowd just wasn’t that into engineers.
March 11th, 2008 at 4:19 pm
15
Cincy says:
I grew up in Tulsa, graduated from OU, and I love the state to death….
but, I do have to say that there seems to be a disproportionate amount of racism, religious biggotry, and general red-neckery in the state. Especially when you get out into the Kountry (with a capital ‘K’, please).
Kern’s statement saddens me.
March 11th, 2008 at 4:20 pm
16
Because They Can says:
“Sadly, the crunchy hippy chick crowd just wasn’t that into engineers.”
I think “crunchy” and “hippy” were not really needed in this sentence.
March 11th, 2008 at 5:05 pm
17
hunglikehussain says:
OOC, every strip bar I have been to always plays that song…..
Dontcha wish yer girlfriend was hot like me….
/ass slap
March 11th, 2008 at 5:17 pm
18
Out of Conference says:
#19, Well I wasn’t paying for my show, Spitzer.
March 11th, 2008 at 6:20 pm
19
Out of Conference says:
19 being 17, ofc
March 11th, 2008 at 6:20 pm
20
adam (the gay one) says:
i just want to know what dumb ass queen let her know about out plan.
March 11th, 2008 at 8:11 pm
21
sociology major says:
I may be wrong but it looks like the woman in the Abuurn shirt has a 2004 Commemorative People’s National Championship cigarette lighter in her hand.
March 11th, 2008 at 8:27 pm
22
PW says:
Brian @ 10
I may be wrong, but I don’t think the Scopes trial really decided anything. Didn’t the teacher still get convicted?
March 11th, 2008 at 8:59 pm
23
Futbawl Fan says:
I have bad news for you all…. when this lady puts on her makeup and gets her party thing going this is what she looks like:
http://deadspin.com/assets/resources/2008/01/alicesnorg3.jpg
this is what I discovered after a night of very hard drinking at the Supper Club
March 12th, 2008 at 7:31 am
24
intellidouche says:
Did the reporter mistakenly grab a feather duster rather than a microphone?
March 12th, 2008 at 7:55 am
25
ChemE93 says:
Hmmm… bama recruits wearing Oklahoma sweatshirts for the witness stand… now Oklahomans wearing Auburn sweatshirts for the eyewitness news. Surely this can’t be a coincidence?
March 12th, 2008 at 8:05 am
26
Brian says:
#22 – Yea, I believe you are indeed correct. But the point wasn’t his guilt (he was), it was to create a circus around a foolish idea to get people to realize it’s absurdity.
March 12th, 2008 at 8:10 am
27
shovel pass says:
Speaking of Spitzer…….If he would have been a frequent reader of this site, he would have realized he only needed $1500 to get some fast gash….just like the ad says with no faxing or credit checks either!
March 12th, 2008 at 8:43 am
28
shovel pass says:
@ 21
Nope, I believe that it is a milkyway bar, which she needs to keep up with the the feroucious sexual appitite of Mr. Erp.
March 12th, 2008 at 8:53 am
29
Big Ten Joe says:
I think I missed the Ohio State story referenced by Orson. Anyone?
March 12th, 2008 at 10:34 am
30
Brian says:
guy jerked off at a public library computer while wearing an OSU jersey.
March 12th, 2008 at 11:49 am
31
MiseanAuFan says:
Unfortunately, the video of the tOSU guy has been removed off the internet, or it seemed so a couple of weeks ago.
March 12th, 2008 at 12:25 pm