The next semi-weekly poll question will be announced shortly, but first we review the results of our prior poll, “What’s the Most Suggestive Offense.” The winner by a nose: The Spread Option with 503 votes. The “Cock ‘n Fire” came in second with 453 votes, but we suspect that was just Blake Mitchell giggling and clicking in late-night drunken websurfing sessions.

The new poll question: which college football coach will be caught on-air saying the most profanities next season? Your choices:

1. Pete Carroll. If you wonder why, then fuck you, fuck you, fuck you.

2. Will Muschamp, Texas DC. Boom Motherfucker gets to parade his stuff on those nice, big sensitive ABC Big 12 mikes.

3. Les Miles. A wordsmith who can’t resist dropping his Schembechler emphases in the most routine of press conferences.

4. Jim Leavitt. ANGRY WORDS MAN WANTS MR. FIST TALK TO YOU.

5. Nick Saban. The Dark Lord is capable of leaving dark scorch marks on the pants of your ears.

Vote early, vote often, and remember: snakes in the wild don’t want to be picked up–they simply crave the touch of humans in their very bones. Especially the drunk humans.

ps. Cookie monster is sadly ineligible for this post.