FULMER CUPDATE: BALL STATE BALLIN'

by Orson on Mar 5, 2008 4:09 PM EST Comment 15 comments

Nope, not funny. Even if played by Robert Downey, Jr.

Nothing about drinking's funny, kids, despite what you might have learned growing up watching reruns of lovable town drunk Otis on The Andy Griffith Show. He mistook a goat for his uncle once! Not funny.

Nor is Tony Stark's crippling alcoholism funny, either, even if you laugh at the thought of a superhero getting cranked on scotch, strapping on a nuclear powered invincible killing suit, and flying around with a bottle of fortified wine blasting what he thinks are bad guys and crashing into expensive high-rise condos. This is most definitely not made funnier by the fact Robert Downey, Jr. is playing him in the movie, nor by imagining the clink of the glass against his metal mouth slit as he relaxes in full regalia by a roaring fire at his mansion. Not. Funny.

(You can also hear the little filtered drain noise as the scotch goes down the pipe into his mouth, can't you. This, too, is most definitely not funny.)

This is a long way of saying that we think the arrest on suspicion of DWI for Ball State's Kenny Meeks is not funny in the least, especially because he may get sixty days in jail as a result. The two points he gets for entering Ball State into the Fulmer Cup are, however, hilarious.

Iowa State wide receiver Wallace Franklin earns two points for Iowa State by interference with official acts and disorderly conduct, two things that perfectly describe our entire academic career through college.

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Perhaps all these college towns should follow the Brits in an attempt to curb drinking. Their logic is that by keeping the bars open 24 hours, instead of closing at 11 pm, there will be less drinking. Amazingly enough, the case study has shown that drinking and public intoxication was NOT decreased.

Who’da thunk that could happen?

http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2003/06/17/MN287051.DTL

by drogue on Mar 5, 2008 4:22 PM EST reply actions 0 recs

Don’t forget about <a href="http://media.www.dailyorange.com/media/storage/paper522/news/2008/03/05/News/Two-Su.Football.Players.Charged.In.Manley.BreakIn-3251659.shtml" rel="nofollow">the ’Cuse!!!

by Brian O'Blivion on Mar 5, 2008 4:30 PM EST reply actions 0 recs

40 cent comics. i remember those days. that’s almost as quaint as the comics code authority seal. shit, you can’t even find a keyboard with a cent symbol any more.

by kleph on Mar 5, 2008 4:38 PM EST reply actions 0 recs

Although, as the Batman movie (the original) taught me – they may be drinkers, but they’re people too.

by Herb on Mar 5, 2008 5:29 PM EST reply actions 0 recs

Are there extra points for jail time? That scene from half baked makes me think there should be.

by The Big 11th Blog on Mar 5, 2008 6:05 PM EST reply actions 0 recs

’bout fuckin time we got on the board…

by BALLS...tate. on Mar 5, 2008 6:55 PM EST reply actions 0 recs

I say they only dish out bomus points if Kenny Meeks, like Tony Stark in the above issue, was arrested while wearing nothing but his tighty whitie Jockey underdrawers.

by Mugatu on Mar 5, 2008 7:18 PM EST reply actions 0 recs

Thanks, Kleph.

I remember when they went up to a quarter each.

(old, but not bitter)

by NRBQ on Mar 5, 2008 9:51 PM EST reply actions 0 recs

Stan Lee will always be known as Editor-In-Chief of Marvel. Excelsior!

by Studley on Mar 5, 2008 10:37 PM EST reply actions 0 recs

Coolest thing I learned this week: Ghostface Killah is in the Ironman movie.

by robert on Mar 5, 2008 11:20 PM EST reply actions 0 recs

what are the “official acts” that the Iowa St. player interrupted?

by Cincy on Mar 6, 2008 8:50 AM EST reply actions 0 recs

#2: The headline on that link really sells it…“Two SU football players charged in Manley break-in”

At least they were macho about it. Better than being arrested for a slightly girly break-in.

Of course if you keep giong down that road you get: “Two SU football players charged in pyrotechnically gay break-in”… not that there’s anything wrong with that.

by Cincy on Mar 6, 2008 9:08 AM EST reply actions 0 recs

I’m not so sure about your assessment of Iron Man’s alcoholism being not funny.

I’m going to call TBS to get a second opinion.

by ChemE93 on Mar 6, 2008 9:35 AM EST reply actions 0 recs

Syracuse should get another bonus point because one of the guys was Todd Marinovich’s brother.

by Brian O'Blivion on Mar 7, 2008 12:21 PM EST reply actions 0 recs

who cares…..iowa state hasn’t had a decent team since larry bird played there.

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