Nope, not funny. Even if played by Robert Downey, Jr.

Nothing about drinking’s funny, kids, despite what you might have learned growing up watching reruns of lovable town drunk Otis on The Andy Griffith Show. He mistook a goat for his uncle once! Not funny.

Nor is Tony Stark’s crippling alcoholism funny, either, even if you laugh at the thought of a superhero getting cranked on scotch, strapping on a nuclear powered invincible killing suit, and flying around with a bottle of fortified wine blasting what he thinks are bad guys and crashing into expensive high-rise condos. This is most definitely not made funnier by the fact Robert Downey, Jr. is playing him in the movie, nor by imagining the clink of the glass against his metal mouth slit as he relaxes in full regalia by a roaring fire at his mansion. Not. Funny.

(You can also hear the little filtered drain noise as the scotch goes down the pipe into his mouth, can’t you. This, too, is most definitely not funny.)

This is a long way of saying that we think the arrest on suspicion of DWI for Ball State’s Kenny Meeks is not funny in the least, especially because he may get sixty days in jail as a result. The two points he gets for entering Ball State into the Fulmer Cup are, however, hilarious.

Iowa State wide receiver Wallace Franklin earns two points for Iowa State by interference with official acts and disorderly conduct, two things that perfectly describe our entire academic career through college.