ELOQUENCE HAS A THOUSAND FORMS
There’s many, many ways to express how you feel in an eloquent way. You could be a master of the epigram, like Rochefoucauld, for example:
Men give away nothing so liberally as their advice.
Pithy! Or you could just have an awesome accent and a deep, deep hatred of Tennessee. That’s a form of eloquence too, as this video points out all too well.
“They low down, they dirty, and they snitches.” At no point have our own thoughts of Tennessee football or pumpkins been so succinctly put.
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1
decemberist says:
“It’s that puke-inside-of-a-pumpkin orange.”
Bonus Points for imagery! And I agree with each point this enlightened gentleman makes.
March 5th, 2008 at 2:03 pm
2
Erica says:
As a graduate of Alabama – I love that we’re not “sore losers.”
March 5th, 2008 at 2:04 pm
3
Chris says:
Excelsior.
March 5th, 2008 at 2:06 pm
4
kleph says:
he’d get my vote.
March 5th, 2008 at 2:15 pm
5
VandyJ says:
Ladies and gentlemen…Charles Barkley’s running mate in 2014.
March 5th, 2008 at 2:17 pm
6
Holly says:
“I’m not a dog person.”
Coincidentally, That Dog doesn’t care for him either.
March 5th, 2008 at 2:17 pm
7
kleph says:
and, sadly, neither does it hunt.
March 5th, 2008 at 2:18 pm
8
Aerobab says:
Call me a simpleton, but I hate Alabama because they’re just dumb. I’m also not an “elephant person”, and Bama’s crimson jerseys look like employed tampons. So take that!
Also, this is eloquence in its finest form.
March 5th, 2008 at 2:22 pm
9
Holly says:
I will say this–my all-time favorite trash talk was delivered to my Daddy by a drunken, stumbling Bama alum in Tuscaloosa when I was about 16. He staggered up, poked a finger at his orange attire, and uttered (slurring implied):
“Ya know what ah lahk about that therrre shhhhirt? [uncomfortable pause] Yew kin wear it t’the game on Sat’dy…yew kin wear it t’go deeeerhuntin’ on Sundy….and yew can leave it on for work on Mondy, when yer pickin’ up trash on the highway.”
March 5th, 2008 at 2:34 pm
10
Bama93 says:
#8 – Sorry about that. My Dad gets a little tipsy on game days. You have to admit, the man has a way with words.
March 5th, 2008 at 2:53 pm
11
BamaTaxMan says:
Holly,
That wasn’t trash talk. That was a statement of fact.
March 5th, 2008 at 2:55 pm
12
BamaTaxMan says:
RE #10
Silly me, I forgot that enclosing things in brackets doesn’t print.
The end of post #10 was the following enclosed in brackets.
grin, duck, run
March 5th, 2008 at 2:57 pm
13
Holly says:
P.S. And then my Daddy bought the guy’s land and sold it to condo developers, the end.
/hair toss
March 5th, 2008 at 2:58 pm
14
SEC! SEC! SEC! says:
i agree with this young man, why would you want puke orange as a color? is it for when you get so drunk at the game and don’t quite make it to a stall because of the long bathroom lines? nobody will notice right? as long as you have some deodorant to hide that stomach acid smell.
March 5th, 2008 at 3:13 pm
15
WhiteSpeedReceiver says:
Alabama: Learning is Good.
Wow. Just…wow.
March 5th, 2008 at 3:19 pm
16
NativeSon says:
Holly @ 5
Thanks for the That Dog reference. Makes me smile every time.
March 5th, 2008 at 3:21 pm
17
kleph says:
just to clarify, Aerobab, you are identifying yourself as a person of lesser intelligence for disliking people of lesser intelligence. i flunked out of bama so maybe that’s why the underlying logic here escapes me.
and, holly, you left out the part where you load up the truck and move to beverly. hills, that is.
March 5th, 2008 at 3:26 pm
18
Aerobab says:
Apologies, Kleph…like most things on here, that part of the comment was intended to be tounge in cheek.
However, I’m not kidding about the elephants though…I think I’m allergic to those pachyderms.
March 5th, 2008 at 3:31 pm
19
Brian says:
There is no offseason for hatred.
March 5th, 2008 at 3:34 pm
20
bamabill says:
I agree with everything except I also HATE Auburn
March 5th, 2008 at 3:36 pm
21
Out of Conference says:
For those pour souls like me that has YouTube blocked at work, could someone just give me the youtube link so I can use the mysafesurf.com link that someone on here showed the class last week?
Thanks m’kay,
Hassled by the Man
March 5th, 2008 at 3:39 pm
22
BurritoBrosShits says:
Shit, its only March and we bout to start da hatin?
What kind of Orange is Gator Orange? Victory Orange
/fail
March 5th, 2008 at 3:45 pm
23
kleph says:
@Aerobab hey man, you do what you gotta do, i was just trying to make sure i understood what you were trying to say.
but yeah, tennessee is well known for it’s historic dislike of elephants.
March 5th, 2008 at 3:45 pm
24
Picture Me Rollin says:
That’s awesome on so many levels. He has to be my new hero. ” I dislike Auburn… I hate Tennessee.”
I can’t wait for the Third (I mean Fourth Saturday in October. It’s better than Christmas, Easter, and St. Patrick’s Day rolled into one.
If memory serves didn’t “That Dog” bite or bite at an Alabama player last time the game was at Neyland? “Sic’ em Smokie!”(That yell along with two bits ending with “stand up and howl” still crack me up)
March 5th, 2008 at 3:48 pm
25
BurritoBrosShits says:
I hate Tennessee because its not fun to beat them anymore. Also its hard to spell when drunk.
March 5th, 2008 at 3:51 pm
26
robert says:
That Dog bit an Auburn player during the Iron Bowl
March 5th, 2008 at 3:54 pm
27
robert says:
…and that made my day.
March 5th, 2008 at 3:54 pm
28
Picture Me Rollin says:
Here is a link to Orson’s “coverage” of the event:
http://www.everydayshouldbesaturday.com/2006/10/26/smokey-does-your-dog-bite/
Powers getting bit is just another example of Auburn trying to be like Alabama. It’s OK Little Brother. You be you.
(Yes I know, Alabama lost to ULM, is the new Thug U, and has lost six in a row to Auburn)
March 5th, 2008 at 3:59 pm
29
Ltrain says:
Does the old guy walking by in the background qualify this post for mustache Wednesday (mofos)?
March 5th, 2008 at 4:15 pm
30
TheDeuce says:
truer words have never been spoken
March 5th, 2008 at 4:17 pm
31
Brian O'Blivion says:
If only he would have added, “Dayum, that Fulmer is fat” after a few of those “I hate Tennessee’s”, and then it would have been perfect.
March 5th, 2008 at 4:37 pm
32
Tater Salad says:
A reference to Tee Martin and Wayne D. Rowe would have also been nice.
March 5th, 2008 at 4:46 pm
33
Because They Can says:
That was one Krispy Kreme reference short of perfection.
March 5th, 2008 at 5:13 pm
34
Because They Can says:
..and “garbage truck worker convention” will forever remain on my list of descriptive phrases re: Neyland.
March 5th, 2008 at 5:19 pm
35
burt77 says:
/tingles
so many bama fans around now…
/glee
RTR
March 5th, 2008 at 5:32 pm
36
Herb says:
#13, we upgraded to a double-wide with that money, so jokes on you, Holly.
March 5th, 2008 at 5:33 pm
37
Sad State of Affairs says:
32-
Funny how they always forget about that when they call us cheaters, isn’t it?
March 5th, 2008 at 6:56 pm
38
Mr Pelican Pants says:
I have hated on Tennessseeeee evera since that song
“Tennessee” by Arrested Developement….. (”A pair of horseshoes. A pair of HORSESHOES!!!”)
If Alabama is the new Thug U, what does that make Tenn? The Original Thug U? or is that Miami?
Tennessee is the Ohio St. of the SEC…..enough talent to win some games and get to some decent games, but always finds a way to choke their way out of a win…..which is the way I picture Phil Fulmer going to the big Krispy Kreme in the sky, via choking on his food…..or exploding while in a speed eating contest with Mangino
March 5th, 2008 at 7:36 pm
39
dixiehack says:
If there is a God in heaven, this needs to be on the JumboTron for pregame.
March 5th, 2008 at 11:45 pm
40
ChrisL says:
I think my favorite thing about this is that when he raises up his hands while discussing his feelings on orange, you can see that he’s reading (or at least holding) Ellison’s The Invisible Man. Somehow this speech and that book just go together.
March 6th, 2008 at 1:35 am
41
Futbawl Fan says:
Auburn fans everywhere are crying that someone should come between them and their dearly behated Alabama
March 6th, 2008 at 8:06 am
42
Scalz1 says:
As a central Florida native, I hate Tennessee for all the times I had to deal with the fans in Orlando. All that orange made me nauseous. On the flip side, that meant UT was in the Citrus bowl. 6 of one, half a dozen of the other.
March 6th, 2008 at 8:11 am
43
chad says:
“…and I don’t like pumpkins”
beautiful.
March 6th, 2008 at 8:37 am
44
OhioDawg says:
The free associations are fantastic. I’m not a dog person…I don’t like pumpkins….
Even walking out of the frame he continued to tell, I guess, his friends how serious he is.
March 6th, 2008 at 9:01 am
45
slammer says:
I agree, Couldn’t have said it better
March 6th, 2008 at 9:50 am
46
cclints24 says:
#24 and #26
“That dog” was UGA and it jumped at an Auburn player during an Auburn Georgia game
March 6th, 2008 at 11:44 am
47
TideOneON says:
#46
You’re right. But it happened again last season at an Alabama away game (Auburn, I think). Difference: the dog actually connected and drew blood. The player was OK…so it was quite funny.
March 6th, 2008 at 12:12 pm
48
OaklandBear says:
The Vol fans uniformly believe Saban would leave Alabama for Samford if they offered him $1 more than his current contract. At least that’s what they told me while taking turns throwing rocks and taking pictures of the tree people when they were in Berkeley. Coolest thing about there visit was everyone could see Alcatraz through the fog that weekend due to that God-awful orange they wear from head to toe.
March 6th, 2008 at 12:18 pm
49
MiseanAuFan says:
“I have hated on Tennessseeeee evera since that song
“Tennessee” by Arrested Developement….. (”A pair of horseshoes. A pair of HORSESHOES!!!”)”
I believe it’s “Headliner, I challenge you to a game of Horseshoes.” A game of HORSEHOES!”
March 6th, 2008 at 12:19 pm
50
Justin says:
Everyone hates a winner… but damn that is one funny video!!!
March 6th, 2008 at 4:05 pm
51
TennGuy says:
Envy is a sad thing. And guess what Bama fan, we will put your ass back on probation if you don’t watch it just like the last time. Go back to your hole and hide.
March 7th, 2008 at 10:29 am
52
This Guy says:
I think he just wrote my wedding vow.
March 7th, 2008 at 12:43 pm
53
Your Mom says:
This dude is a retard! Neyland is holier than the Vatican, not a garbage truck worker convention! He was hilarious, though. He ain’t no dog person, and he don’t like pumpkins! LOL what a shithead. Alabama sucks ass! GO VOLS
March 7th, 2008 at 2:52 pm
54
Bitches says:
“…and de some snitches…”
that was great….I hate Georgia, I’ll just go on record with that.
March 7th, 2008 at 7:43 pm
55
cease says:
I see we have some bitch ass Tennesseans in this place. University of Texas wannabe mofos
March 10th, 2008 at 5:42 pm