ELOQUENCE HAS A THOUSAND FORMS
by Orson on Mar 5, 2008 1:55 PM EST
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PrintThere's many, many ways to express how you feel in an eloquent way. You could be a master of the epigram, like Rochefoucauld, for example:
Men give away nothing so liberally as their advice.
Pithy! Or you could just have an awesome accent and a deep, deep hatred of Tennessee. That's a form of eloquence too, as this video points out all too well.
"They low down, they dirty, and they snitches." At no point have our own thoughts of Tennessee football or pumpkins been so succinctly put.
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“It’s that puke-inside-of-a-pumpkin orange.”
Bonus Points for imagery! And I agree with each point this enlightened gentleman makes.
by decemberist on Mar 5, 2008 2:03 PM EST reply actions
As a graduate of Alabama – I love that we’re not “sore losers.”
by Erica on Mar 5, 2008 2:04 PM EST reply actions
Ladies and gentlemen…Charles Barkley’s running mate in 2014.
by VandyJ on Mar 5, 2008 2:17 PM EST reply actions
“I’m not a dog person.”
Coincidentally, That Dog doesn’t care for him either.
by Holly on Mar 5, 2008 2:17 PM EST reply actions
Call me a simpleton, but I hate Alabama because they’re just dumb. I’m also not an “elephant person”, and Bama’s crimson jerseys look like employed tampons. So take that!
Also, this is eloquence in its finest form.
by Aerobab on Mar 5, 2008 2:22 PM EST reply actions
I will say this—my all-time favorite trash talk was delivered to my Daddy by a drunken, stumbling Bama alum in Tuscaloosa when I was about 16. He staggered up, poked a finger at his orange attire, and uttered (slurring implied):
“Ya know what ah lahk about that therrre shhhhirt? [uncomfortable pause] Yew kin wear it t’the game on Sat’dy…yew kin wear it t’go deeeerhuntin’ on Sundy….and yew can leave it on for work on Mondy, when yer pickin’ up trash on the highway.”
by Holly on Mar 5, 2008 2:34 PM EST reply actions
- - Sorry about that. My Dad gets a little tipsy on game days. You have to admit, the man has a way with words.
by Bama93 on Mar 5, 2008 2:53 PM EST reply actions
Holly,
That wasn’t trash talk. That was a statement of fact.
by BamaTaxMan on Mar 5, 2008 2:55 PM EST reply actions
RE #10
Silly me, I forgot that enclosing things in brackets doesn’t print.
The end of post #10 was the following enclosed in brackets.
grin, duck, run
by BamaTaxMan on Mar 5, 2008 2:57 PM EST reply actions
P.S. And then my Daddy bought the guy’s land and sold it to condo developers, the end.
/hair toss
by Holly on Mar 5, 2008 2:58 PM EST reply actions
i agree with this young man, why would you want puke orange as a color? is it for when you get so drunk at the game and don’t quite make it to a stall because of the long bathroom lines? nobody will notice right? as long as you have some deodorant to hide that stomach acid smell.
by SEC! SEC! SEC! on Mar 5, 2008 3:13 PM EST reply actions
Alabama: Learning is Good.
Wow. Just…wow.
by WhiteSpeedReceiver on Mar 5, 2008 3:19 PM EST reply actions
Holly @ 5
Thanks for the That Dog reference. Makes me smile every time.
by NativeSon on Mar 5, 2008 3:21 PM EST reply actions
just to clarify, Aerobab, you are identifying yourself as a person of lesser intelligence for disliking people of lesser intelligence. i flunked out of bama so maybe that’s why the underlying logic here escapes me.
and, holly, you left out the part where you load up the truck and move to beverly. hills, that is.
by kleph on Mar 5, 2008 3:26 PM EST reply actions
Apologies, Kleph…like most things on here, that part of the comment was intended to be tounge in cheek.
However, I’m not kidding about the elephants though…I think I’m allergic to those pachyderms.
by Aerobab on Mar 5, 2008 3:31 PM EST reply actions
I agree with everything except I also HATE Auburn
by bamabill on Mar 5, 2008 3:36 PM EST reply actions
For those pour souls like me that has YouTube blocked at work, could someone just give me the youtube link so I can use the mysafesurf.com link that someone on here showed the class last week?
Thanks m’kay,
Hassled by the Man
by Out of Conference on Mar 5, 2008 3:39 PM EST reply actions
Shit, its only March and we bout to start da hatin?
What kind of Orange is Gator Orange? Victory Orange
/fail
by BurritoBrosShits on Mar 5, 2008 3:45 PM EST reply actions
@Aerobab hey man, you do what you gotta do, i was just trying to make sure i understood what you were trying to say.
but yeah, tennessee is well known for it’s historic dislike of elephants.
by kleph on Mar 5, 2008 3:45 PM EST reply actions
That’s awesome on so many levels. He has to be my new hero. " I dislike Auburn… I hate Tennessee."
I can’t wait for the Third (I mean Fourth Saturday in October. It’s better than Christmas, Easter, and St. Patrick’s Day rolled into one.
If memory serves didn’t “That Dog” bite or bite at an Alabama player last time the game was at Neyland? “Sic’ em Smokie!”(That yell along with two bits ending with “stand up and howl” still crack me up)
by Picture Me Rollin on Mar 5, 2008 3:48 PM EST reply actions
I hate Tennessee because its not fun to beat them anymore. Also its hard to spell when drunk.
by BurritoBrosShits on Mar 5, 2008 3:51 PM EST reply actions
That Dog bit an Auburn player during the Iron Bowl
by robert on Mar 5, 2008 3:54 PM EST reply actions
Here is a link to Orson’s “coverage” of the event:
http://www.everydayshouldbesaturday.com/2006/10/26/smokey-does-your-dog-bite/
Powers getting bit is just another example of Auburn trying to be like Alabama. It’s OK Little Brother. You be you.
(Yes I know, Alabama lost to ULM, is the new Thug U, and has lost six in a row to Auburn)
by Picture Me Rollin on Mar 5, 2008 3:59 PM EST reply actions
Does the old guy walking by in the background qualify this post for mustache Wednesday (mofos)?
by Ltrain on Mar 5, 2008 4:15 PM EST reply actions
If only he would have added, “Dayum, that Fulmer is fat” after a few of those “I hate Tennessee’s”, and then it would have been perfect.
by Brian O'Blivion on Mar 5, 2008 4:37 PM EST reply actions
A reference to Tee Martin and Wayne D. Rowe would have also been nice.
by Tater Salad on Mar 5, 2008 4:46 PM EST reply actions
That was one Krispy Kreme reference short of perfection.
by Because They Can on Mar 5, 2008 5:13 PM EST reply actions
..and “garbage truck worker convention” will forever remain on my list of descriptive phrases re: Neyland.
by Because They Can on Mar 5, 2008 5:19 PM EST reply actions
#13, we upgraded to a double-wide with that money, so jokes on you, Holly.
by Herb on Mar 5, 2008 5:33 PM EST reply actions
32-
Funny how they always forget about that when they call us cheaters, isn’t it?
by Sad State of Affairs on Mar 5, 2008 6:56 PM EST reply actions
I have hated on Tennessseeeee evera since that song
“Tennessee” by Arrested Developement….. (“A pair of horseshoes. A pair of HORSESHOES!!!”)
If Alabama is the new Thug U, what does that make Tenn? The Original Thug U? or is that Miami?
Tennessee is the Ohio St. of the SEC…..enough talent to win some games and get to some decent games, but always finds a way to choke their way out of a win…..which is the way I picture Phil Fulmer going to the big Krispy Kreme in the sky, via choking on his food…..or exploding while in a speed eating contest with Mangino
by Mr Pelican Pants on Mar 5, 2008 7:36 PM EST reply actions
If there is a God in heaven, this needs to be on the JumboTron for pregame.
by dixiehack on Mar 5, 2008 11:45 PM EST reply actions
I think my favorite thing about this is that when he raises up his hands while discussing his feelings on orange, you can see that he’s reading (or at least holding) Ellison’s The Invisible Man. Somehow this speech and that book just go together.
by ChrisL on Mar 6, 2008 1:35 AM EST reply actions
Auburn fans everywhere are crying that someone should come between them and their dearly behated Alabama
by Futbawl Fan on Mar 6, 2008 8:06 AM EST reply actions
As a central Florida native, I hate Tennessee for all the times I had to deal with the fans in Orlando. All that orange made me nauseous. On the flip side, that meant UT was in the Citrus bowl. 6 of one, half a dozen of the other.
by Scalz1 on Mar 6, 2008 8:11 AM EST reply actions
The free associations are fantastic. I’m not a dog person…I don’t like pumpkins….
Even walking out of the frame he continued to tell, I guess, his friends how serious he is.
by OhioDawg on Mar 6, 2008 9:01 AM EST reply actions
- and #26
“That dog” was UGA and it jumped at an Auburn player during an Auburn Georgia game
by cclints24 on Mar 6, 2008 11:44 AM EST reply actions
#46
You’re right. But it happened again last season at an Alabama away game (Auburn, I think). Difference: the dog actually connected and drew blood. The player was OK…so it was quite funny.
by TideOneON on Mar 6, 2008 12:12 PM EST reply actions
The Vol fans uniformly believe Saban would leave Alabama for Samford if they offered him $1 more than his current contract. At least that’s what they told me while taking turns throwing rocks and taking pictures of the tree people when they were in Berkeley. Coolest thing about there visit was everyone could see Alcatraz through the fog that weekend due to that God-awful orange they wear from head to toe.
by OaklandBear on Mar 6, 2008 12:18 PM EST reply actions
“I have hated on Tennessseeeee evera since that song
Tennessee by Arrested Developement
.. (A pair of horseshoes. A pair of HORSESHOES!!!)”
I believe it’s “Headliner, I challenge you to a game of Horseshoes.” A game of HORSEHOES!"
by MiseanAuFan on Mar 6, 2008 12:19 PM EST reply actions
Everyone hates a winner… but damn that is one funny video!!!
by Justin on Mar 6, 2008 4:05 PM EST reply actions
Envy is a sad thing. And guess what Bama fan, we will put your ass back on probation if you don’t watch it just like the last time. Go back to your hole and hide.
by TennGuy on Mar 7, 2008 10:29 AM EST reply actions
This dude is a retard! Neyland is holier than the Vatican, not a garbage truck worker convention! He was hilarious, though. He ain’t no dog person, and he don’t like pumpkins! LOL what a shithead. Alabama sucks ass! GO VOLS
by Your Mom on Mar 7, 2008 2:52 PM EST reply actions
“…and de some snitches…”
that was great….I hate Georgia, I’ll just go on record with that.
by Bitches on Mar 7, 2008 7:43 PM EST reply actions
I see we have some bitch ass Tennesseans in this place. University of Texas wannabe mofos
by cease on Mar 10, 2008 6:42 PM EDT reply actions
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