THE FANTASY DRAFT: 2008 DIBS

by Orson on Mar 4, 2008 3:14 PM EST

Our extremely cursory and simple look over the options for this year's fantasy draft in college football. Dibs!

One: Michael Crabtree, Texas Tech WR. Oh, sure, you say don't draft him because he's going pro, but here's a surprise for you: HE PLAYS FOOTBALL, ASSHOLE. That's right, and he plays it too well for even Mike Leach's buttoned-down attack to hold his talent under wraps, friend. Crabtree's line for last year looked like entire wide receiving corps' numbers for theyear: 134 receptions, 1962 yards, and 22 TDs. Now let's see if Mike Leach will trust him and stop throwing the ball only ten times a game. What is this, the Single Wing?

Two: Knowshon Moreno, UGA RB (Stands for "Rampaging Bastard") Oh, no particular reason. FACT: This statement is a lie. If we just blew the head off your logic robot, then good: now you may free yourself from its clutches and draft Knowshon Moreno, who averaged 5.4 yards a carry last season and beat the bloody hell out of Florida in the worst Cocktail Party of my lifetime as a Florida fan. Give him the ball twice, and it's a first down! Math is easy kids. Also, taking Knowshon allows you to take Matt Stafford, who may brilliantly audible to "run left/right/middle" when the defense does all that confusing jumpy stuff at the line.

Three: Jeremiah Johnson, Oregon RB. Could be the focal point for the Oregon offense next year, meaning he'll get plenty of screens and zone read handoffs. Sadly, does not possess mountain man beard or pet bear, though someone could (hint hint) do something about both of these things before the season begins. We've always thought the bear was the next frontier for domesticated animals, especially home security bears. So cuddly!

Four: Colin Kaepernick, Nevada QB. If you have craved a gawky, discount version WAC version of Vince Young working out of the pistol, then Kaepernick's your man.

Even if you apply the standard WAC to BCS conference conversion formula (divide roughly by 2/3, subtract five touchdowns), Kaepernick's stats as a sophomore should improve from the 2175 yards passing and 573 yards rushing he piled up as afreshman in the eight games he started. Bonus! He works from the pistol, the formation that gets your qb disemboweled in NCAA Insert Year here but somehow chugs along nicely in real life.

5. Cam Newton, Florida QB. We'd bet a toe he'll assume the Tim Tebow goal line battering ram role from Tim Tebow to take some of the hits off Tebow, meaning he'll become the Mike Alstott of college football: a points vulture with an unnatural stat line skewed toward one yard TD plunges.

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If someone snatches Kaepernick, there’s always the guy at Central Michigan, who’s bound to put up equally absurd numbers against equally porous defenses.

by Biggus Rickus on Mar 4, 2008 3:22 PM EST reply actions

Knowshon, having mastered the RB position, goes to WR? Is this some sort of dual eligibility thing I can get my hands on?

Also, my engineering know-how tells me that dividing by two-thirds is going to increase Kaepernick’s TDs in the BCS.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go back to mourning the death of the co-creator of D&D. Roll to save – my sorrows.

by Ground0EastLansing on Mar 4, 2008 3:23 PM EST reply actions

- He’s got a Dan LeFevour, and the only cure is more Eastern Michigan.

by Ground0EastLansing on Mar 4, 2008 3:24 PM EST reply actions

Draft Harrell and Crabtree on the same team and you’re talking points galore… except for that * bye-week.

by ThreenOut on Mar 4, 2008 3:25 PM EST reply actions

What? No John Parker Wilson? This must be an obvious oversight.

by yoyofutbawl on Mar 4, 2008 3:28 PM EST reply actions

Fixed, with appropriate terminology added.

by Orson Swindle on Mar 4, 2008 3:44 PM EST reply actions

Hey, weren’t you supposed to present “Best SEC Blog” a couple of hours ago?

Or are you locked in a closet, clinging to last year’s trophy yelling “NO! You CAN’T have it, it’s MINE!”

At least that’s where I’d be…

by the croominator on Mar 4, 2008 3:50 PM EST reply actions

Ground0EastLansing,

Nice. Believe me, you’re gonna want that Eastern Michigan.

by Biggus Rickus on Mar 4, 2008 3:58 PM EST reply actions

Here’s to hoping Cam gets more Play Time than just rhino run left. Was it me, or were his handoffs/fake handoffs at the UT game ultra smoove?

by Allahver Fist on Mar 4, 2008 4:02 PM EST reply actions

no mention of demarco murray or sam bradford?

assuming that fantasy leagues don’t extend into those pesky bowl games, both would be great picks

by okiedomer on Mar 4, 2008 4:10 PM EST reply actions

Cam Newton had a great TD against Tennessee (so did my Mom, incidentally). Can’t wait to see what he can do.

by celeste on Mar 4, 2008 4:13 PM EST reply actions

What about the Dynamic Duo of Ramsey and Ziemba? Assuming they get two points per take down/chop block… your know, its those “hidden” points that win championships…

by Greenie on Mar 4, 2008 4:21 PM EST reply actions

FWIW….

I don’t want to confuse the issue w/ facts and whatnot… but the top returning rusher looks to be Eugene Jarvis of Kent State.

against the MAC this kid could essssplode.

by ThreenOut on Mar 4, 2008 4:28 PM EST reply actions

Pat White! He’s worth dual points as a passer and a rusher!

by beckett929 on Mar 4, 2008 5:38 PM EST reply actions

(Crabtree+Harrell) > everyone

by guest on Mar 4, 2008 6:20 PM EST reply actions

10- Bradford over Murray. I’m a bit skittish over Murray, OU’s “franchise” players have had iffy luck with injuries (White, Heupel, Peterson, Reggie Smith, Dan Cody, Austin English, and even bball’s Blake Griffin). With the way the O played last year, in terms of playcalling and philosophy, I’d expect an almost arrogant insistance on throwing the ball west-coast style with the vertical game coming via the wideouts around 10% of the time. Having this style of play, I’d take Iglesias/Gresham or even Chris Brown (I’d guess he’ll be the one getting the short yardage carries) before Murray. That’s not to say that Murray isn’t the most talented player on the field, because he probably will be in all but one or two games next year. I’d still take a slot, te, or short yardage back first. Also, I’d look into who’s going to end up at QB for Michigan.

by them oklahoma on Mar 4, 2008 7:29 PM EST reply actions

Moreno over McCoy? A puzzling choice.

by In My Seat 90 Minutes Before Kickoff on Mar 4, 2008 7:57 PM EST reply actions

Gimme a healthy Chris Wells with OSU’s 10 returning starters on offense over any other RB…

by Pants McPants on Mar 4, 2008 10:10 PM EST reply actions

16- only puzzling to a texas fan. You know those toys from the ‘80s, the “weebles”? You know, "weebles wabble, but they don’t fall down". Well, that’s Colt if he didn’t fall down.

by them oklahoma on Mar 4, 2008 11:17 PM EST reply actions

#18…..I’m not sure how to respond to such an error on your part.

Why would Colt McCoy replace a RB?

LeSean McCoy. RB for RB.

by In My Seat 90 Minutes Before Kickoff on Mar 5, 2008 12:13 AM EST reply actions

Moreno’s gonna share the wealth with Caleb “Garrison Hearst II” King, so he might not put up the stats some do. Plus, he’s playing against SEC Ds. That SEC speed issue just will not go away, will it?

by Because They Can on Mar 5, 2008 7:34 AM EST reply actions

For further reading on Knowshon, please see the finest piece of journalism that has ever come out of this fine web log…

http://www.everydayshouldbesaturday.com/2007/10/27/georgiaflorida-a-summary/

by Lloyd Christmas on Mar 5, 2008 2:50 PM EST reply actions

I was looking at an old recruiting page a few days ago, and noticed that Cam Newton allegedly runs a 4.5 40. Can this be true, a man of his size? That’s almost better than the Tebow battering ram — he can break it too.

by MST3K on Mar 6, 2008 10:05 AM EST reply actions