FULMER CUPDATE: CAVALIERS, FORWARD!
The Big Board for the week brings us a smashing debut from the Virginia Cavaliers, thus validating reader DevilGrad’s prediction that the arrival of former Marshall coach Bobby Pruett on the staff would put the Cavs in the running for the Cup. Your powers frighten and impress us, sir.
Corrections, apologies, and refusals to either correct or apologize follow.

Virginia somersaults into this bitch like Bill and Lance leaping into Nicaragua with the spread gun: UVA cornerback Mike Brown was arrested and charged with one count each of grand larceny, possession of stolen property with intent to sell, alteration of serial numbers and possession of marijuana. The charges were filed in connection with the theft of $3,400 worth of property from a car on the UVA campus. What college student actually has $3,400 worth of anything in their car besides various MP3 players, electronics, and weed is beyond us, but we hope the complainant in question had the good sense to report the loss of all three. The police love it when you report that someone has stolen your weed! It makes them very excited and curious about you, your problems, and when you’re available to talk about them face to face!
Three points for grand larceny, three for possession of stolen property with intent to sell, and a cautious pair of one point filings for the other two charges give UVA an eight point award in the Fulmer Cup. Charges to appear on the board as soon as Brian, who is hung like Reggie F’n Nelson, gets our email and updates. Scoring is subject to revision upward on the last two charges, so those of you with a knowledge of the Virginia criminal code, please pipe up, because you will anyway.
All others remain static. Early on, we’re still not even through the primaries here. Easter, a Christian holiday we will celebrate by gambling and drinking in Las Vegas for the first weekend of the NCAA Men’s Basketball tournament, sends kids home for potential trouble, and we haven’t even gotten to the issue of Spring Break yet. Missouri’s lead is neither impregnable nor huge, making this anyone’s game down the stretch.









1
Because They Can says:
Uh, I don’t see Virginia on the board. And it’s about time for a UGA to possess some alcohol or record a scooter infraction (or maybe poessess alcohol while improperly operating a scooter) because our guys are about to drop off the board, which would just be wrong.
March 4th, 2008 at 1:28 pm
2
Eirishis says:
Wahoo wa! Way to show up, boys.
March 4th, 2008 at 1:31 pm
3
Huska Lawya says:
Altering serial numbers is a Class 1 misdemeanor, punishable by up to 12 months and/or up to $2500 fine. Possession is also a misdemeanor, punishable by up to 30 days and/or up to a $500 fine.
March 4th, 2008 at 1:43 pm
4
Scalz1 says:
Just imagine what the score might be if most of the football team was actually registereed for classes.
March 4th, 2008 at 1:43 pm
5
drogue says:
Didn’t Mo Clarett have (reportedly) $10 of stuff purloined from his booster provided rig?
Weed has serial numbers now?
March 4th, 2008 at 1:49 pm
6
drogue says:
$10k
March 4th, 2008 at 1:49 pm
7
Big Ern says:
If we can’t beat Tech on the field, we might as well act like them off the field. WAH-HOO-WAH!
And considering the amount of players in academic trouble, there could be more of them that act out and get in trouble. Trust me on this one, Orson, Virginia aint done yet.
March 4th, 2008 at 2:00 pm
8
Big Ern says:
Oh yeah, and Thomas Jefferson would be very proud right now.
March 4th, 2008 at 2:08 pm
9
karlhungus12 says:
Contra was such a great game.
March 4th, 2008 at 2:20 pm
10
NewAZTiger says:
Auburn is playing 3 in the top 5 next year. Looks like that in-game Police Dog Training is going to pay off.
March 4th, 2008 at 2:33 pm
11
Kenny says:
AZ,
Jerraud Powers salutes you sir.
With the hand that did not require stitches.
March 4th, 2008 at 2:47 pm
12
The Edge says:
Why is there always an asterisk next to Illinois? It has something to do with Ron Zook, right?
March 4th, 2008 at 3:20 pm
13
sb says:
Big Ern @ #8…as Jefferson in a former life I would like to make plain that UVA’s inclusion herein is an example of the highest expression of mankind and in keeping with the guiding tenets on which this nation was founded. Freedom and its consequences shall bite any and all with equal alacrity and illustrate same without regard to race, creed or color (I’ve evolved since putting quill to parchment, so says my lesbian, buddhist, psychic). And regarding Sally, she was hottness personified…what would you do?
March 4th, 2008 at 3:36 pm
14
Pitchfork Ben says:
A Fulmer Cup contest without South Carolina is not a Fulmer Cup contest, sir.
Those bastards just may go from worst to first this week.
March 4th, 2008 at 3:46 pm
15
Brian O'Blivion says:
Christ, Wazzu has six. SIX dammit! Excelsior!!!!
March 4th, 2008 at 3:56 pm
16
johnnynewman4heisman says:
Alteration of serial numbers has to do with taking off the serial numbers of a gun. Usually done by a file. Don’t worry I know plenty of Hokies with inferiority complexes, and they recruit to well in the “Bad Newz” area not to show up on the Fulmer Cup radar.
March 4th, 2008 at 4:27 pm
17
yrgoldteeth says:
There you go being in my brain. I read about the $3400 worth of property in a UVA students car and thought “how many ipods and how much weed can one student carry?”
March 4th, 2008 at 7:12 pm
18
SpartanDan says:
#12: The asterisk is to note that it’s for a single player’s incident, which makes it eligible for the Ellis T. Jones award but (if my understanding is correct) Illinois wouldn’t be eligible for the team award unless someone else puts up a few points too.
March 4th, 2008 at 7:30 pm
19
fdog says:
where’s the university of south carolina points? They had an arrest this weekend:
http://www.thestate.com/gamecocks/story/334660.html
March 4th, 2008 at 7:44 pm
20
T. Zuck says:
State Pen had a guy suspended today.
Yeah, it was from the famous fight on campus back in October. But I was wondering if this could vault “The Fightin’ Nits” into the top-five…….
March 4th, 2008 at 11:56 pm
21
uvasux says:
Mr. Brown must be one of those “superior student athletes” the Hoos are always using as an excuse for their sorry-ass performances against Tech.
They’re just jealous because their thugs can’t win.
March 5th, 2008 at 9:16 pm
22
Captain Kirk says:
BCS schools are dominating this thing. Where is the mid-major powerhouse going to come from?
March 7th, 2008 at 6:21 pm
23
cpt. longdick says:
bama should lose two points since johnson’s charges were dropped
March 7th, 2008 at 7:15 pm
24
vtsux says:
I noticed a comment by uvasux about Mr. Brown and how the UVA thugs can’t beat the VT thugs. The reason for this is, unlike vt, once a member of the UVA football team commits a crime, they are no longer on the team. No second chances. Coach Beamer takes a different view understandably otherwise, he would not have a football team to coach.
August 26th, 2008 at 1:54 pm