FULMER CUPDATE: CAVALIERS, FORWARD!
by Orson on Mar 4, 2008 1:19 PM EST
24 comments
The Big Board for the week brings us a smashing debut from the Virginia Cavaliers, thus validating reader DevilGrad's prediction that the arrival of former Marshall coach Bobby Pruett on the staff would put the Cavs in the running for the Cup. Your powers frighten and impress us, sir.
Corrections, apologies, and refusals to either correct or apologize follow.
Virginia somersaults into this bitch like Bill and Lance leaping into Nicaragua with the spread gun: UVA cornerback Mike Brown was arrested and charged with one count each of grand larceny, possession of stolen property with intent to sell, alteration of serial numbers and possession of marijuana. The charges were filed in connection with the theft of $3,400 worth of property from a car on the UVA campus. What college student actually has $3,400 worth of anything in their car besides various MP3 players, electronics, and weed is beyond us, but we hope the complainant in question had the good sense to report the loss of all three. The police love it when you report that someone has stolen your weed! It makes them very excited and curious about you, your problems, and when you're available to talk about them face to face!
Three points for grand larceny, three for possession of stolen property with intent to sell, and a cautious pair of one point filings for the other two charges give UVA an eight point award in the Fulmer Cup. Charges to appear on the board as soon as Brian, who is hung like Reggie F'n Nelson, gets our email and updates. Scoring is subject to revision upward on the last two charges, so those of you with a knowledge of the Virginia criminal code, please pipe up, because you will anyway.
All others remain static. Early on, we're still not even through the primaries here. Easter, a Christian holiday we will celebrate by gambling and drinking in Las Vegas for the first weekend of the NCAA Men's Basketball tournament, sends kids home for potential trouble, and we haven't even gotten to the issue of Spring Break yet. Missouri's lead is neither impregnable nor huge, making this anyone's game down the stretch.
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Uh, I don’t see Virginia on the board. And it’s about time for a UGA to possess some alcohol or record a scooter infraction (or maybe poessess alcohol while improperly operating a scooter) because our guys are about to drop off the board, which would just be wrong.
by Because They Can on Mar 4, 2008 1:28 PM EST reply actions 0 recs
Altering serial numbers is a Class 1 misdemeanor, punishable by up to 12 months and/or up to $2500 fine. Possession is also a misdemeanor, punishable by up to 30 days and/or up to a $500 fine.
by Huska Lawya on Mar 4, 2008 1:43 PM EST reply actions 0 recs
Just imagine what the score might be if most of the football team was actually registereed for classes.
by Scalz1 on Mar 4, 2008 1:43 PM EST reply actions 0 recs
Didn’t Mo Clarett have (reportedly) $10 of stuff purloined from his booster provided rig?
Weed has serial numbers now?
by drogue on Mar 4, 2008 1:49 PM EST reply actions 0 recs
If we can’t beat Tech on the field, we might as well act like them off the field. WAH-HOO-WAH!
And considering the amount of players in academic trouble, there could be more of them that act out and get in trouble. Trust me on this one, Orson, Virginia aint done yet.
by Big Ern on Mar 4, 2008 2:00 PM EST reply actions 0 recs
Oh yeah, and Thomas Jefferson would be very proud right now.
by Big Ern on Mar 4, 2008 2:08 PM EST reply actions 0 recs
Auburn is playing 3 in the top 5 next year. Looks like that in-game Police Dog Training is going to pay off.
by NewAZTiger on Mar 4, 2008 2:33 PM EST reply actions 0 recs
AZ,
Jerraud Powers salutes you sir.
With the hand that did not require stitches.
by Kenny on Mar 4, 2008 2:47 PM EST reply actions 0 recs
Why is there always an asterisk next to Illinois? It has something to do with Ron Zook, right?
by The Edge on Mar 4, 2008 3:20 PM EST reply actions 0 recs
Big Ern @ #8…as Jefferson in a former life I would like to make plain that UVA’s inclusion herein is an example of the highest expression of mankind and in keeping with the guiding tenets on which this nation was founded. Freedom and its consequences shall bite any and all with equal alacrity and illustrate same without regard to race, creed or color (I’ve evolved since putting quill to parchment, so says my lesbian, buddhist, psychic). And regarding Sally, she was hottness personified…what would you do?
by sb on Mar 4, 2008 3:36 PM EST reply actions 0 recs
A Fulmer Cup contest without South Carolina is not a Fulmer Cup contest, sir.
Those bastards just may go from worst to first this week.
by Pitchfork Ben on Mar 4, 2008 3:46 PM EST reply actions 0 recs
Christ, Wazzu has six. SIX dammit! Excelsior!!!!
by Brian O'Blivion on Mar 4, 2008 3:56 PM EST reply actions 0 recs
Alteration of serial numbers has to do with taking off the serial numbers of a gun. Usually done by a file. Don’t worry I know plenty of Hokies with inferiority complexes, and they recruit to well in the “Bad Newz” area not to show up on the Fulmer Cup radar.
by johnnynewman4heisman on Mar 4, 2008 4:27 PM EST reply actions 0 recs
There you go being in my brain. I read about the $3400 worth of property in a UVA students car and thought “how many ipods and how much weed can one student carry?”
by yrgoldteeth on Mar 4, 2008 7:12 PM EST reply actions 0 recs
#12: The asterisk is to note that it’s for a single player’s incident, which makes it eligible for the Ellis T. Jones award but (if my understanding is correct) Illinois wouldn’t be eligible for the team award unless someone else puts up a few points too.
by SpartanDan on Mar 4, 2008 7:30 PM EST reply actions 0 recs
where’s the university of south carolina points? They had an arrest this weekend:
by fdog on Mar 4, 2008 7:44 PM EST reply actions 0 recs
State Pen had a guy suspended today.
Yeah, it was from the famous fight on campus back in October. But I was wondering if this could vault “The Fightin’ Nits” into the top-five…….
by T. Zuck on Mar 4, 2008 11:56 PM EST reply actions 0 recs
Mr. Brown must be one of those “superior student athletes” the Hoos are always using as an excuse for their sorry-ass performances against Tech.
They’re just jealous because their thugs can’t win.
by uvasux on Mar 5, 2008 9:16 PM EST reply actions 0 recs
BCS schools are dominating this thing. Where is the mid-major powerhouse going to come from?
by Captain Kirk on Mar 7, 2008 6:21 PM EST reply actions 0 recs
bama should lose two points since johnson’s charges were dropped
by cpt. longdick on Mar 7, 2008 7:15 PM EST reply actions 0 recs
I noticed a comment by uvasux about Mr. Brown and how the UVA thugs can’t beat the VT thugs. The reason for this is, unlike vt, once a member of the UVA football team commits a crime, they are no longer on the team. No second chances. Coach Beamer takes a different view understandably otherwise, he would not have a football team to coach.
by vtsux on Aug 26, 2008 2:54 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs
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