FULMER CUPDATE: CAVALIERS, FORWARD!
The Big Board for the week brings us a smashing debut from the Virginia Cavaliers, thus validating reader DevilGrad’s prediction that the arrival of former Marshall coach Bobby Pruett on the staff would put the Cavs in the running for the Cup. Your powers frighten and impress us, sir.
Corrections, apologies, and refusals to either correct or apologize follow.

Virginia somersaults into this bitch like Bill and Lance leaping into Nicaragua with the spread gun: UVA cornerback Mike Brown was arrested and charged with one count each of grand larceny, possession of stolen property with intent to sell, alteration of serial numbers and possession of marijuana. The charges were filed in connection with the theft of $3,400 worth of property from a car on the UVA campus. What college student actually has $3,400 worth of anything in their car besides various MP3 players, electronics, and weed is beyond us, but we hope the complainant in question had the good sense to report the loss of all three. The police love it when you report that someone has stolen your weed! It makes them very excited and curious about you, your problems, and when you’re available to talk about them face to face!
Three points for grand larceny, three for possession of stolen property with intent to sell, and a cautious pair of one point filings for the other two charges give UVA an eight point award in the Fulmer Cup. Charges to appear on the board as soon as Brian, who is hung like Reggie F’n Nelson, gets our email and updates. Scoring is subject to revision upward on the last two charges, so those of you with a knowledge of the Virginia criminal code, please pipe up, because you will anyway.
All others remain static. Early on, we’re still not even through the primaries here. Easter, a Christian holiday we will celebrate by gambling and drinking in Las Vegas for the first weekend of the NCAA Men’s Basketball tournament, sends kids home for potential trouble, and we haven’t even gotten to the issue of Spring Break yet. Missouri’s lead is neither impregnable nor huge, making this anyone’s game down the stretch.












1
Uh, I don’t see Virginia on the board. And it’s about time for a UGA to possess some alcohol or record a scooter infraction (or maybe poessess alcohol while improperly operating a scooter) because our guys are about to drop off the board, which would just be wrong.
Comment by Because They Can — March 4, 2008 @ 1:28 pm
2
Wahoo wa! Way to show up, boys.
Comment by Eirishis — March 4, 2008 @ 1:31 pm
3
Altering serial numbers is a Class 1 misdemeanor, punishable by up to 12 months and/or up to $2500 fine. Possession is also a misdemeanor, punishable by up to 30 days and/or up to a $500 fine.
Comment by Huska Lawya — March 4, 2008 @ 1:43 pm
4
Just imagine what the score might be if most of the football team was actually registereed for classes.
Comment by Scalz1 — March 4, 2008 @ 1:43 pm
5
Didn’t Mo Clarett have (reportedly) $10 of stuff purloined from his booster provided rig?
Weed has serial numbers now?
Comment by drogue — March 4, 2008 @ 1:49 pm
6
$10k
Comment by drogue — March 4, 2008 @ 1:49 pm
7
If we can’t beat Tech on the field, we might as well act like them off the field. WAH-HOO-WAH!
And considering the amount of players in academic trouble, there could be more of them that act out and get in trouble. Trust me on this one, Orson, Virginia aint done yet.
Comment by Big Ern — March 4, 2008 @ 2:00 pm
8
Oh yeah, and Thomas Jefferson would be very proud right now.
Comment by Big Ern — March 4, 2008 @ 2:08 pm
9
Contra was such a great game.
Comment by karlhungus12 — March 4, 2008 @ 2:20 pm
10
Auburn is playing 3 in the top 5 next year. Looks like that in-game Police Dog Training is going to pay off.
Comment by NewAZTiger — March 4, 2008 @ 2:33 pm
11
AZ,
Jerraud Powers salutes you sir.
With the hand that did not require stitches.
Comment by Kenny — March 4, 2008 @ 2:47 pm
12
Why is there always an asterisk next to Illinois? It has something to do with Ron Zook, right?
Comment by The Edge — March 4, 2008 @ 3:20 pm
13
Big Ern @ #8…as Jefferson in a former life I would like to make plain that UVA’s inclusion herein is an example of the highest expression of mankind and in keeping with the guiding tenets on which this nation was founded. Freedom and its consequences shall bite any and all with equal alacrity and illustrate same without regard to race, creed or color (I’ve evolved since putting quill to parchment, so says my lesbian, buddhist, psychic). And regarding Sally, she was hottness personified…what would you do?
Comment by sb — March 4, 2008 @ 3:36 pm
14
A Fulmer Cup contest without South Carolina is not a Fulmer Cup contest, sir.
Those bastards just may go from worst to first this week.
Comment by Pitchfork Ben — March 4, 2008 @ 3:46 pm
15
Christ, Wazzu has six. SIX dammit! Excelsior!!!!
Comment by Brian O'Blivion — March 4, 2008 @ 3:56 pm
16
Alteration of serial numbers has to do with taking off the serial numbers of a gun. Usually done by a file. Don’t worry I know plenty of Hokies with inferiority complexes, and they recruit to well in the “Bad Newz” area not to show up on the Fulmer Cup radar.
Comment by johnnynewman4heisman — March 4, 2008 @ 4:27 pm
17
There you go being in my brain. I read about the $3400 worth of property in a UVA students car and thought “how many ipods and how much weed can one student carry?”
Comment by yrgoldteeth — March 4, 2008 @ 7:12 pm
18
#12: The asterisk is to note that it’s for a single player’s incident, which makes it eligible for the Ellis T. Jones award but (if my understanding is correct) Illinois wouldn’t be eligible for the team award unless someone else puts up a few points too.
Comment by SpartanDan — March 4, 2008 @ 7:30 pm
19
where’s the university of south carolina points? They had an arrest this weekend:
http://www.thestate.com/gamecocks/story/334660.html
Comment by fdog — March 4, 2008 @ 7:44 pm
20
State Pen had a guy suspended today.
Yeah, it was from the famous fight on campus back in October. But I was wondering if this could vault “The Fightin’ Nits” into the top-five…….
Comment by T. Zuck — March 4, 2008 @ 11:56 pm
21
Mr. Brown must be one of those “superior student athletes” the Hoos are always using as an excuse for their sorry-ass performances against Tech.
They’re just jealous because their thugs can’t win.
Comment by uvasux — March 5, 2008 @ 9:16 pm
22
BCS schools are dominating this thing. Where is the mid-major powerhouse going to come from?
Comment by Captain Kirk — March 7, 2008 @ 6:21 pm
23
bama should lose two points since johnson’s charges were dropped
Comment by cpt. longdick — March 7, 2008 @ 7:15 pm