CURIOUS INDEX, 3/4/08
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A fine acceptance speech from Oranse for winning Best Youtube for his Limited Mike Gundy Downgrades the Weather. You wanna get on my RV? Seriously, we give the kids all kinds of things, but an RV? You better not complain, and you better make sure it’s got the pullout sides and mobile satellite link-up I require, because THIS IS A DIVISION ONE FOOTBALL AND I NEED A DIVISION ONE FOOTBALL RV TO MATCH!!! Dan Hawkins is totally serious about this in a zen kind of way, of course: “I told them I said, ‘Hey, let’s rent a motor home and let’s just start going around to every town in the state and saying, hi, and meeting boosters and alums and people and engaging people,’” Hawkins said. Dan Hawkins at the infamous Colorado Supermax: “Now, this place has the kind of intensity I crave in our football program.” We can’t wait, brah. We apologize, Auburn fans. That’s A-p-o-l-o-g-i-z-e. Bromberg’s Jewelry has apologized for running a full-page ad in the Birmingham News that featured some unheard-of! stereotypes concerning Auburn, class, and academics. (Tiger points out below that this is old cheese. We leave it up as a testimony to the dangers of sprinting headlong through your RSS reader without looking.) The ad, which ran in The Birmingham News Nov. 21, read: “You love her, but she’s an Auburn fan. Whoever said ‘love conquers all’ obviously wasn’t in love with a Cow College grad. But even though her grandma was the state tobacky-spittin’ champ and she can burp out every bar of War Eagle, your world revolves around her. So turn her thoughts from blue and orange to wedding white with the perfect engagement ring from Bromberg’s. Soon she’ll be singing your praises as the best fiancé ever. Provided there’s no spelling involved.” They could have just made the whole thing better with a few jokes about mop-headed date rapists who throw their black manservants from balconies for fun, but nooooooo, we had to let the PC police win this one, didn’t we Brombergs–didn’t we?!?!? Nation, this nation’s going to hell in a handbasket, and this is just one more reminder of that along with the tolerance of those merciless, remorseless killing machines known as bears. More and more, it’s looking like Les Miles will not be dismissing Ryan Perrilloux from the team. There’s radio silence from Baton Rouge, no back-channel reports from readers who’ve sighted Perrilloux fighting rooms full of obese and furious gamblers at local casinos, none of the outlandish stories that were floating around two months ago. It’s quiet…a little too quiet. [/cliche] Antonio Coleman lay motionless on the turf for 15 minutes following a fight at Auburn’s practice this past Saturday. Coleman suffered a cervical sprain and is regaining feeling in his extremities, meaning you clearly shouldn’t fuck with Lee Ziemba, the offensive lineman engaged with Coleman at the time of the injury. Because Lee Ziemba ain’t nothing ta fuck with unless you enjoy immobility and numbness. |
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46
Weagle-
Both are black. Jesus.
Comment by Tater Salad — March 5, 2008 @ 4:18 pm
45
Jerraud Powers was the one bitten by the police dog, not AC.
Comment by weagle251 — March 5, 2008 @ 3:14 pm
44
First the police dog, now this. What did AC do, ask out a white woman? And y’all say we live in the 60s. Good Lord.
Comment by Tater Salad — March 5, 2008 @ 9:25 am
43
What?
Holding up to fellow students with a pellet gun is NOT funny?
Damn, my bad
Comment by bamabill — March 4, 2008 @ 5:53 pm
42
Oh, like holding up two fellow students with a pellet gun for $26
Comment by tiger — March 4, 2008 @ 5:33 pm
41
No Wregl, funny in the sense that I can make a joke about Auburn being almost legitimate and being able to guarantee that an Auburn fan who evidently questions his program’s legitimacy would retaliate with the fresh and new evidence that Alabama lost to ULM and 6 in a row to Auburn. That kind of funny. Thanks for playing.
I’m sorry if you took offense to my weak attempt at humor…
Comment by Picture Me Rollin — March 4, 2008 @ 5:21 pm
40
39-
Like Bama is funny, because they are legitimate after losing to ULM and going 6-6. Not to mention losing 6 straight to AU
Is that the same kind of funny?
Comment by Wregl — March 4, 2008 @ 4:58 pm
39
This is one of those threads where I was just sick that I only got to read the first 8 or 10 before having to leave the office for a meeting and couldn’t wait to get back to the office and see what I missed.
Doug… great comment.. glad this blog is apolitical because the only thing better than UA-AU threadjacks are Liberal-Conservative threadjacks… not that you would know anything about that…
Tiger… It’s only funny because he was almost and not ultimately hurt, don’t be so serious… Like Auburn, their funny because their almost a legitimate program (kidding..kidding)
Comment by Picture Me Rollin — March 4, 2008 @ 3:19 pm
38
What would you expect from the Bromberg family? They’re all Bama fans or graduates.
10-1 that Perrilloux is the starting QB come this fall. This is in Louisiana, you know. Unless the NCAA academics rules trip him up.
Comment by yoyofutbawl — March 4, 2008 @ 3:18 pm
37
Doug, stop showing off.
Comment by Sundawg — March 4, 2008 @ 3:15 pm
36
ooc @ #23,
sorry…i was actually working today and missed my window.
but seriously, we should listen really hard to everything excuse me stewardess says…i mean he played football somewhere north of junior high.
Comment by gerry dorsey — March 4, 2008 @ 2:54 pm
35
Wow, Doug, you’re going to inspire comment of the year awards for the 2008 season with contributions like that.
Comment by Kenny — March 4, 2008 @ 2:27 pm
34
#29, a cold PBR in the bottle for you. It’ll help numb the pain of your torn ACL.
Comment by NewAZTiger — March 4, 2008 @ 2:25 pm
33
#29
Doug,
+100 from this Bama fan.
Comment by BamaTaxMan — March 4, 2008 @ 2:04 pm
32
If it’d been Florida State it woulda been damned funny.
Comment by Allahver Fist — March 4, 2008 @ 1:58 pm
31
de-lux, #29, de-lux.
Even Nick Saban has time to laugh at that…
Comment by Excuse me Stewardess, but I speak jive — March 4, 2008 @ 1:58 pm
30
+100 #29
Comment by TIGERinATL — March 4, 2008 @ 1:46 pm
29
ATLANTA (Reuters) — As the threadjack of an American sports blog stretched into its third hour, authorities expressed increasing confidence that the terrorists presented no danger to the thread’s passengers, only to each other.
The thread departed Atlanta just after 11 a.m. EST carrying an unknown number of passengers. It was commandeered less than half an hour later by a militant group of Alabama and Auburn fans.
A source within the Pentagon confirmed that the possibility of shooting down the thread was discussed to remove the possibility of a 9/11-style attack. However, as more information became available, it became clear that rabid infighting among the group of threadjackers made that unlikely.
“All the passengers appear to be chatting politely as if nothing was wrong,” said Michael Chertoff, secretary of homeland security. “For some reason, the threadjackers all appear to be shooting at each other. It’s really kind of a bizarre situation.”
Chertoff said he could not confirm any reports of deaths among the group of threadjackers, but was “confident” that none of the other passengers had been harmed.
The incident, however, seems certain to renew bipartisan calls for stricter profiling of Auburn and Alabama fans who attempt to board comments threads on U.S. soil. (see POOP-FLINGING/A5)
Comment by Doug — March 4, 2008 @ 1:44 pm
28
#26 - Tub’s assistants get quotes in the media after every practice. Funny how that works when they are acctually allowed to speak to the media.
And as I said, I was there. Niether myself, nor anyone sitting around me, said they saw what happened. It was away from the ball and was over virtually just after the whistle. I can understand if the coaches weren’t exactly paying attention to the guys who were obviously out of the play.
Comment by TIGERinATL — March 4, 2008 @ 1:39 pm
27
#26 - Look out. Everyone with the word “TIGER” in their handle has just waged personal jihad on you and your family. God speed.
Comment by Bama93 — March 4, 2008 @ 1:29 pm
26
The whole thing with Ziemba is being overblown a bit. I was not at the practice..so I will not weigh in on whether it was a Rowdy Roddy Piper style headlock or players getting at it hard. However, the thing that did interest me was how quickly TT’s yes-men put out statements. Phillip Marshall, who must suffer from Stockholm Syndrome, had quotes from Tubs/new OC/new DC out so quick they must have come from templetes. All three said, “we didn’t see it…”. How in the fuck do all three not see a thing? Two three hundred plus lbs men are going at it after the whistle..and you don’t see anything..and these statement are put on the internet as quickly as reports of the fight go up..that does not pass the reasonable person test..The lady protest a little much.
Comment by CapstoneAlum — March 4, 2008 @ 1:15 pm