The offseason ennui has completely taken hold, y’all. I’m reduced to doodling anagrams for D-I coaches.

DID YOU KNOW….that Phillip Fulmer’s name is a perfect anagram for “Lifer Hull Pimp”?

ARE YOU NOW….picturing him patching a hole in a submarine wearing a feathered hat and a grill?

Alternate anagram: “Pulp Refill Him”

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Winner:  “Helpful Lip Rim”

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Still reading? Good. Because Pete Carroll’s name scrambles out to “Rape Rec Toll”, which sounds like it should be rolled into USC’s student activities fee. However, I prefer “All Erect Pro”:

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And particularly “Caroler Pelt”, implying that an angry Pete has skinned a Dickensian gentleman to wear as a jacket (and also stolen his hat):

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Now, Charlie Weis. I don’t know what “Washier Lice” means, but I like the sound of it. Can’t pass up the opportunity to put him in a bonnet, though…I give you “Cries Awhile”:

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The clear winner (not really the word I’m looking for): “A Chili Sewer”.

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This is all we have to look forward to for the next six months. Enjoy your night terrors, happy offseason, and tune in tomorrow, when we’ll be playing Special Teams Sudoku! [lulls self to unconsciousness with large mallet]