SWINDLE INDUSTRIES UPDATE

by Orson on Feb 26, 2008 10:52 AM EST

In the ever-expanding and poorly swept warehouse that is Swindle Industries...

Patrick is doing the quality work we couldn't do over at Thirty Five Seconds. We're especially fond of this.

Our piece on things the NFL combine should test for is up over at the Sporting News, and if you take nothing else from it, it should be this: Deangelo Hall's episode of Cribs is the gold standard by which all other NFLers' Cribs experience should be measured. That is, until D-Mac gets the signing bonus and two months with a decorator.

Like that, but a house.

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Comments

Do you think D-Mac got a Double-Bean Burrito after taking this pick?

by haybeav on Feb 26, 2008 10:55 AM EST reply actions

The thrust from the gas would explain his unusual blend of size and explosive speed.

by Orson Swindle on Feb 26, 2008 10:56 AM EST reply actions

D-Mac on cribs would be epic. Especially with all the kids.

by ThreenOut on Feb 26, 2008 10:59 AM EST reply actions

Well, the best part of D-Mac’s cribs would be his walk-in closet, which is divided into three parts – the typical, the dresses, and the Fred Flintstone outfits.

by Ground0EastLansing on Feb 26, 2008 11:01 AM EST reply actions

Pssshhhh… I still think Mudcat’s car would rape that thing.

by Dawg 05 on Feb 26, 2008 11:09 AM EST reply actions

Orson, a technical question . . .

Why is it that every time I link to your SN blog, it loads like I’m using a 2400 bps dial-up modem? Is that a result of the FBI trace?

by Kernel on Feb 26, 2008 11:09 AM EST reply actions

Wow, a lot of unusually positive comments on the SN article. Apparently Shreveporters only read you during bowl season.

by PW on Feb 26, 2008 11:11 AM EST reply actions

I can see it now: “And back here we have the shop. It’s where I keep ’dat good wood!”

by jakldawg on Feb 26, 2008 11:15 AM EST reply actions

Dawg 05, Mud Cat’s would have dominated D Macs, but Ellerbe wrecked it on River Road a couple years back. Odell had a pretty sick ride as well, his drove extra nice while under the influence.

by GloryGlory on Feb 26, 2008 11:38 AM EST reply actions

For what it is worth, a friend of mine, who knows nothing about football, had the chance to meet D. Hall through the normal course of business and found him to be quite nice. I will give him props for the Rembrandt, but, man, he did have to go and put it in that ubiquitous “Atlanta new money” home, didn’t he? So many beautiful old homes in that city, it is a shame.

Every college AA needs its own “Club 21”. Would cut down on the Fulmer Cup points. Well, except for UGA— the players would still have to drive to get there.

by meg on Feb 26, 2008 11:46 AM EST reply actions

Orson,
Those draft criteria would eliminate a lot of SEC players. At UT they would have to let the “tutors” answer the questions or none of them would get drafted (well maybe not None).

by MassDad on Feb 26, 2008 11:47 AM EST reply actions

What does the NFL combine think about monster truck enthusiasts? I could be mistaken, but I’m pretty sure they value tractor pull enthusiasts more. Less flash, more goal oriented, etc.

by chum1 on Feb 26, 2008 11:49 AM EST reply actions

I’m just waiting for a player to bust out a house just like Tony Montana’s in Scarface. Tigers, fountains, an insane amount of video cameras, and late model Cadillacs everywhere. Baller

by BurritoBrosShits on Feb 26, 2008 11:49 AM EST reply actions

D. Hall is the no-tacklin’est fairy an any NFL D. backfield.

Gotta stay pretty………

by NRBQ on Feb 26, 2008 11:50 AM EST reply actions

Yes, it’s a sore spot.

by NRBQ on Feb 26, 2008 11:51 AM EST reply actions

Yes, “IN” any backfield.

by NRBQ on Feb 26, 2008 11:52 AM EST reply actions

SN column was really good, Orson. For some reason the hypothetical player’s hypothetical relative’s explanation of what a mink is hit the funny bone hard.

by TIGERinATL on Feb 26, 2008 12:03 PM EST reply actions

D Mac still has a long way to go before he catches up with Travis Henry: 9 Kids, 9 women. Represent yo!! Proud UT Vol.

by Brian on Feb 26, 2008 12:07 PM EST reply actions

BTW, the jab at talk radio people was quite excellent. Made me think of “Bill Swerski’s Superfans” — “I’ve got a piece of Polish sausage lodged in the lining of my heart.” “How many heart attacks is that for you Bill?” “That’d be a baker’s dozen Tom.” daaaa Bearssss

by Brian on Feb 26, 2008 12:14 PM EST reply actions

Brian,

Give him time. He hasn’t even made a full circuit of NFL cities yet. I expect no fewer than 7 in the ovens by the ‘08 season’s end.

by Biggus Rickus on Feb 26, 2008 12:54 PM EST reply actions

Rickus

Exactly. Given the SEC’s tendency to not travel too far from home and proximity to bowl sites it’s fair to say large swaths of the country have not had the pleasure of humanity advanced. The females of the northeast, midwest and west coast are on notice.

by DanF on Feb 26, 2008 1:15 PM EST reply actions