POLL OF THE WEEK: SUGGESTIVE OFFENSES
Our poll question of the week is: which offense has the most suggestive name? As in, “sexually suggestive” name. The nominees are:
–The Spread Option”
–”The Wishbone”
–”Pro-style”
–”The Run ‘n Shoot”
–”The Cock ‘n Fire”
–”The Flexbone”
If you have any other nominations, please let us know and we will consider adding them. Don’t try to add in Don Coryell’s innovative “Thundercock” sets or John Mackovic’s “Donghorn Stampede” formations, either, because they did not exist. Cast your vote in the sidebar to your right over there.
In the meantime, we demand that EA–when not gobbling up innovative video game studios producing some of the last remaining innovative sports games around–change the racist terminology in their games at once!










1
NewAZTiger says:
Auburn is running the “Spread Eagle”
February 26th, 2008 at 10:21 am
2
89Tiger says:
The “triple option” sounds French.
February 26th, 2008 at 10:23 am
3
PW says:
When I was in HS, we had a short yardage/ goal line formation called “Pooh Bear”
February 26th, 2008 at 10:25 am
4
gopherdroppings says:
I will cast my vote for anything “double tight”
February 26th, 2008 at 10:25 am
5
crimson daddy says:
I always liked “Student Body Left” and “Student Body Right”, but those are plays, not base formations.
February 26th, 2008 at 10:26 am
6
Stockman says:
Hands down ”The Cock ‘n Fire”. No contest.
February 26th, 2008 at 10:30 am
7
haybeav says:
How about “HB Blast”?
February 26th, 2008 at 10:30 am
8
Chips O'Toole says:
Not an offense, but the Arizona “Desert Swarm” defense sounds like an STD one might pick up during active duty in Iraq.
February 26th, 2008 at 10:31 am
9
sonofsamford says:
You forgot the Notre Dame Box.
February 26th, 2008 at 10:33 am
10
Biggus Rickus says:
Until Oregon State starts running the Beaver Spread, Cock ‘n Fire is the hands down winner.
February 26th, 2008 at 10:38 am
11
Eirishis says:
BYU would like you to consider their missionary position.
February 26th, 2008 at 10:40 am
12
The Big 11th Blog says:
You are required to add Jay Paterno’s “Spread HD” offense….
February 26th, 2008 at 10:43 am
13
ThreenOut says:
I personally like the Arkie QB draw:
Dick sneak up the middle.
February 26th, 2008 at 10:45 am
14
Brian says:
I can’t wait until we get to defenses. I pre-emptively nominate “8 in the box” for Champion.
February 26th, 2008 at 10:46 am
15
Ground0EastLansing says:
If it’s any of the women I’ve been with, the “Statue of Liberty” is more than apt.
February 26th, 2008 at 10:51 am
16
dabearbus says:
no one is considering the “spread and shred’?
If not, I’m with most everyone… cock n’ fire… priceless.
February 26th, 2008 at 10:54 am
17
robert says:
Cock-n-Fire…because for half the year, it’s impotent.
February 26th, 2008 at 10:55 am
18
J.J. says:
For certain times each month, there’s Alabama’s “Crimson Option”. Similarly, Rutgers sometimes has to take the “Scarlet Option”.
N.D.’s “Irish Box” (what every young laddie is looking for)
Before roofies there was “Boilermaker Style”.
Defensively, Minnesota might employ the “Gopher Gap”
February 26th, 2008 at 11:00 am
19
NextTimeWearGold says:
At Georgia Tech, Paul Johnson will be implementing the Wishbone Triple Flex Offense…………….the WTF!! O
February 26th, 2008 at 11:01 am
20
Cincy says:
Im sorely disappointed that the “Inside Trout” didn’t make the list.
February 26th, 2008 at 11:02 am
21
JC says:
I’m surprised there’s been no mention of the “Wildcat,” or when it gets close to closing time, the “Wildhog.”
Of course, if you’ve been drinking that much it probably just devolves into the Veer before the game’s over.
February 26th, 2008 at 11:07 am
22
Cincy says:
Yale’s “flying wedge” was so dangerous it was outlawed back in the 1910’s, paving the way for modern football with 7 men on the line of scrimage.
I’m thinking anything called the “flying wedge” in the bedroom is similarly outlawed in most central plains states. Without the wedge, Oklahoma, Texas, and Nebraska were forced to innovate such great offenses at the: “split T”, the aforementioned “wishbone” and “flexbone”, and…. when you’re in a hurry, the “speed option”.
February 26th, 2008 at 11:20 am
23
DC Trojan says:
I don’t know if it was a formal part of the 07 Notre Dame playbook, but it sure looked like they were running a Pump and Dump – like a Cleveland Steamer for lonely wankers.
February 26th, 2008 at 11:21 am
24
Slacker says:
I agree with #20. Where’s the Inside Trout?
February 26th, 2008 at 11:34 am
25
Excuse me Stewardess, but I speak jive says:
I know it doesn’t count, but we had a great trick play in High School where I (center) snapped the ball between the quarterback’s legs to the fullback, called “The Backdoor Sneak”…
An assistant coach implemented “The Shocker” (guess the sign for this play), but when the head coach found out the double meaning he pulled it from the book.
February 26th, 2008 at 11:54 am
26
TIGERinATL says:
Cock-n-fire easily takes the shortest leap for a dirty mind.
February 26th, 2008 at 11:54 am
27
Mr. Flibble says:
The Cock and Fire.
And on defense, it’s whenever a sportscaster says “Boy, they sure got good penetration that time!”
I never understand how they can say it with a straight face.
February 26th, 2008 at 12:18 pm
28
somedawg says:
How about the “hurry-up”?
February 26th, 2008 at 12:59 pm
29
Cincy says:
I still secretly wish for an annual South Carolina/Oregon St. tilt.
Cocks vs. Beavers…. it would never get old.
February 26th, 2008 at 1:03 pm
30
TLH Gator says:
You should have used the .gif of the Asian guy saying “That’s waisis!”
February 26th, 2008 at 1:09 pm
31
drogue says:
Uber religious Ken Hatfield will be sending you straight to H E double hockey sticks for daring to derive any but the most pure of intentions for his Flexbone offense.
Me? I say fuck him. That offense sucked.
February 26th, 2008 at 1:12 pm
32
Excuse me Stewardess, but I speak jive says:
+5 for the Hurry Up…
February 26th, 2008 at 1:23 pm
33
pos says:
The Backside Blitz
February 26th, 2008 at 2:03 pm
34
JoesDeliGatorTail says:
What’s this, no mention of the wyatt-bone?
February 26th, 2008 at 4:25 pm
35
Bay Area Bear says:
How about chucking the Deep Ball?
February 26th, 2008 at 4:38 pm
36
Snatch says:
The Annexation of Puerto Rico Icebox is hot to trot but she still gotta squat
February 27th, 2008 at 10:53 am
37
S. G. Rice says:
The Wild Hog definitely should have made the list, Casey Dick or no Casey Dick.
The spread ‘n shred is on the rise, though.
February 27th, 2008 at 3:49 pm