FULMER CUP: WAZZOU POURS ONE OUT, LEAVES TWO
We’re conflicted over the best strategy of being caught for underage drinking: do you own up, hoping for forgiveness, nonchalant the whole thing, or do you do everything within reasonable and unreasoable power to get rid of the booze, up to and including tossing the beverage out in plain sight of the cops? Or, in short: what would John Nash do, besides claim he’d been given the idea to drink underage from messages sent to him by aliens through this morning’s crossword? What’s your optimal strategy?
Washington State tight end Trevor Mooney, caught as a 19 year old passenger in a car with go cups in hand, opted for the extraordinary effort to avoid charges, as champions should. And failed, of course:
Trevor Mooney, a redshirt freshman tight end at Washington State, was arrested and cited for being a minor in possession of alcohol early Saturday. Police saw Mooney pour liquid out the passenger window during a traffic stop, and found two cups of beer at his feet, Pullman police Cmdr. Chris Tennant said.
He didn’t lose the game, you see; he just ran out of time. Wazzou, already on the board for assault via contact lens, earns one point for the shennanigans.

“Are these yours?” “No, officer.”









1
Winfield says:
The correct response to cop is “No Occifer.” Occifer is what you’re looking for.
February 26th, 2008 at 3:26 pm
2
beast in 'bama says:
“I’ve only had two beers.” Why is it always two?
February 26th, 2008 at 3:33 pm
3
Brian says:
Eastbound and down, loaded up and truckin’
Ah we gonna do what they say can’t be done
We’ve got a long way to go, and a short time to get there
I’m eastbound, just watch old Bandit run!!!!!
February 26th, 2008 at 3:35 pm
4
Brian says:
Holy shit, look close, some didnt break. LOOSEY’s!!! someone grab those!
When I worked for the Turnpike doing an internship one time, they took me out to a tollbooth, the only good story was when a beer truck flipped off the road and kegs went everywhere on the exit ramp, and some people snagged (strike)stole(strike) kegs apparently.
February 26th, 2008 at 3:39 pm
5
yoyofutbawl says:
Grolsch? A friend of mine once ordered a Famous Grouse on the rocks and was given a Grolsch by the waitress. When he complained, she said, “Grolsch, Grouse, what’s the difference?”
She didn’t last too long at the world famous Providence Road Sundries, where livers, egos and marriages go to die.
Shame all dat beer went to waste, occifer.
February 26th, 2008 at 3:41 pm
6
ThreenOut says:
Pac 10 representin’
February 26th, 2008 at 3:43 pm
7
Acid Reign says:
…..I just don’t get these kids, now-a-days! How in God’s name does a division I NCAA receiver “get caught” by the cops? If it’s not your vehicle, you drop the booze, and scram on foot, preferably over fences and shrubs. If they can keep up, you’re not worth your scholarship, anyway!
February 26th, 2008 at 3:50 pm
8
Millon deFloss says:
A “couple of beers” is somewhere between 2 and 9,347. That picture reminds of the day, back in the day, when a beer truck and a watermelon truck collided on the DC beltway. What a great day!
February 26th, 2008 at 3:53 pm
9
Irwin Fletcher says:
Triple-fisting it, eh? Impressive… most impressive.
Cheers!
February 26th, 2008 at 4:06 pm
10
AllWhoYonder says:
Back when Grolsch came with the ceramic bottle seals (unlike the plastic ones these days or the bottle caps seen above) they made great one hitters when one was stuck at the bar without ample, um, supplies.
February 26th, 2008 at 4:14 pm
11
Brian O'Blivion says:
And Orson/Brian, the new correct point total is six, when you factor in the other alcohol offense.
February 26th, 2008 at 4:14 pm
12
Sundawg says:
First officer: Damn, they’re college kids, I thought they’d slow down.
Second officer: Better break out the traditional road block barricades, this ain’t workin’.
February 26th, 2008 at 4:18 pm
13
Brian O'Blivion says:
I tried posting the link but it’s not working….this was on the Colorado police blotter, along with alot of other sordid crimes (what’s up with Boulder??):
Police responded to a first-degree assault and second-degree burglary that happened in the 1000 block of 12th Street at about 1 a.m. Feb. 16. Witnesses told officers that a man, whom they identified as a CU football player, walked into the apartment, slammed one victim’s head into a wall, then hit another victim with his fist. There were some accounts that the suspect was holding a rock at the time. A 20-year-old man was taken to the hospital where he was treated and released. There is suspect information, and the case remains under investigation.
February 26th, 2008 at 4:23 pm
14
Odell 51 says:
What? as a redshirt freshamn he could guzzle the beer in time? Those must have been huge cups of beer. That or he doesn’t realize what a 19 year old drinker can do.
February 26th, 2008 at 4:33 pm
15
The Song of Hiawatha Francisco says:
I can’t believe two people have already chimed in with beer truck stories. I worked on a beer truck during college, and once saw the Blatz guy create the very scene depicted above (except with Blatz, so it wasn’t nearly as tragic) when he mistakenly left all of the bay doors open on the passenger side of his truck, then turned left out of a parking lot. I think he dumped 6 pallets. I at least got a laugh out of him when I asked if the $50 of beer he wasted would be coming out of his pocket.
February 26th, 2008 at 4:37 pm
16
sonofsamford says:
Good thing the police stopped him before he started with One Guy, Two Cups.
February 26th, 2008 at 4:41 pm
17
Cincy says:
#13
I’m thinking it hasn’t made the FC big board yet because no specific CU player has been identified.
Although it would tickle me pink if it turns out it was Coach Zen’s son Cody.
February 26th, 2008 at 4:48 pm
18
the croominator says:
Another beer truck story…in 2004, during Riverstages in Nashville, a Bud Light beer truck stayed parked at the riverwalk after the concerts. They figured they’d get it in the morning after the stages were broken down. That night major thunderstorms and tornadoes moved through the area, causing the Cumberland River to flood. The Bud truck was stuck under water for several days (and under guard, when some punks tried to swim out and get themselves some freebies). Then it got hot, and cans and bottles started popping. Downtown Nashville reeked for days of stale Bud. A friend worked down there and witnessed all of this. Her favorite day was when she heard lthe loud honking of an 18-wheeler as it passed the flooded Budmobile…she looked out the window and saw it was a Coors truck.
February 26th, 2008 at 4:55 pm
19
Land of Os(borne) says:
A bunch of my college buddies got busted drinking our freshman year. One thought he’d play dumb and get out of it.
His MIP ticket read: “Does not know how he got drunk.”
February 26th, 2008 at 5:12 pm
20
worstfan says:
I don’t want to live in a country where a man can’t have multiple beers while operating a 1.5 ton hunk of metal at high speeds, which is precisely why I’m moving to Ronpaultopia
February 26th, 2008 at 5:12 pm
21
Last Dragon says:
Ahhh – the good old ditch the beer trick. I got in an accident with a cooler full of beer when I was 17 (drinking age was 18 in Lousiana then). We smart guys threw the cooler in the woods to escape discovery. Damn neighbor lady ratted us out to the trooper who eventually gave me a DWI. I still hate that bitch…….whoever she is.
February 26th, 2008 at 5:38 pm
22
Ben Million says:
Hate to be pedantic, Orson, but the preferred (i.e. correct) spelling is “Wazzu.” Just for future reference, in case another one of our players decides to commit ocular assault.
February 26th, 2008 at 6:43 pm
23
NewAZTiger says:
At least no PBR was lost.
February 26th, 2008 at 7:13 pm
24
Brian says:
Ah yes, back in the day, freshman year, we were all drinking and shooting the breeze. Well it so happened that it was this one particular kid’s stash of booze. Later on a few friends and I went for a walk around campus to scout for parties and lost HS girls, when we ended up meeting up with some of the other dudes we had been drinking with. Next thing you know this one dumbass decides hes gonna throw a stinkbomb into a frat. No one knew that this happened til later because he did this on his own. Well he got caught, and then gave all of our names to the campus PD. Fricken asshole, since no one knew how many or even who we were, so even fake names could have worked. Anyway, I decide, Im gonna type up a deposition as to why I was not drunk, claiming everyone assumed i was drunk because they were drunk too, and that my reason was a legit medical condition that I did in fact have. Well when i rolled in with that piece of paper and the specter of “medical reason” well no one wanted to question me, so I got off scott free while the kid who’s stash it was — we didn’t really like him anyways, he got hosed big time.
This did not work so well later that summer when I got arressted for using a fake ID….:(
February 26th, 2008 at 7:42 pm
25
blon57 says:
I’m shocked. A 19 year old college student drinking alcohol. Gosh, those of us in sororities and fraternitiers NEVER did that…
February 26th, 2008 at 8:10 pm
26
The Artist Formerly Known as tOSUBuckeyes says:
Threadjack
{
Saban suspends Prince Hall and goes crazy on media today. Classic stuff.
}
February 26th, 2008 at 8:44 pm
27
Mr Pelican Pants says:
Well, I guess Alabama is headed in the right direction….at least on defense……when Saban beats AU this year, all of this and future arrest will be forgotten…..everything Alabama does comes in 12’s…….plus we still have to thin out the herd a bit, so scratch Prince Hall, Elder…..and a few to be named later….I think there are still 6 more vacancies needed…….Rashaad Johnson should be ashamed, it should have taken at least 7 people to get him down, not 1…………Can we refer to Alabama as “Da’ A” like Miami was “DA U” back in the day? Jimmy Johnson would be proud of this Alabama team!!! How bout them Crimson Tider Tuscaloosa County Jail Insiders?
February 27th, 2008 at 12:16 am
28
bj in gainesville says:
Orson, not CFB related, but I think Kevin Faulk’s arrest for smokin’ the reefer warrants a mention, if only to further establish the tradition of LSU guys being idiots.
February 27th, 2008 at 12:34 am
29
Acorns says:
Hey, everybody’s got a good beer truck story. Here’s mine, short version: I loaded trucks for LaPradd Distributing while at UF. One of those trucks heading down 13th street toward Ocala lost its brakes and veered right toward Shands Hospital to avoid a red light. At the top of the hill just before the hospital the driver took a right thinking he’d be ducking into a parking lot. Well, yes, but that right leads to a sudden quick and steep downhill plunge into a doctors’ parking lot with left turn at the bottom of the hill being the only option. I was part of the cleanup crew, and though I gasped at the wasted alcohol content, I admit to some sort of juvenile pleasure at the sight of six or seven high-priced Doctor Mobiles that were totaled when that truck rolled over on them. Quite a sight seeing the crushed Mercedes with cases of shattered malt liquor strewn about.
February 27th, 2008 at 4:46 pm
30
Acorns says:
By the way, I would like to go on record as a Grolsch supporter. I likes me a Grolsch every now and then.
February 27th, 2008 at 4:48 pm