FULMER CUPDATE: THE BIG BOARD
by Orson on Feb 25, 2008 1:20 PM EST
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PrintBrian brings us this week's Big Board, an active board for those who really, really don't have time for this shit. Notes, clarifications, and open challenges to fight follow.
The biggest leap in the board comes from Oregon State. Do not blame us, blame the authorities who file the charges and insist on playing triple-word-score with the charges for otherwise five/six point crimes.
Al Afalava, a three-year starter for the Oregon State football teams defense, was cited for criminal mischief, which is a felony, DUII and hit-and-run by the Corvallis Police on Feb. 9, according to Corvallis Police Department public information officer Lt. Dave Henslee.
See? Corvallis police charge him with everything including "untidy arrangement of vehicular garbage resulting in messy crash scene," and by rule we spit out points like a broken ATM. Blame the Farvas at the Corvallis police department and drunkass Al Afalava for the skewed charges, not us. Mike Riley says he can tell Aflalava's making a tackle just from the sound. Now the Corvallis police have the same ability.
Alabama makes the first of two ironic scores in the Cupdate. Your team captain gets arrested for disorderly conduct! No salt or pepper needed! Take that scotch neat, you will. Add in the Elder armed robbery arrest, and we're talking magic.
Louisville went a-road tripping, and oh what a time that was. We awarded two bonus points for this one, but with the charges as they stand, even the brazen gusto of robbing a convenience store (and on a school night, young man) doesn't tally up the pile of points Alabama and Oregon State racked up. Even so, the Farking is good to you and good for you in this case.
HT: Reed. He does reek of triumph, with just a hint of hot dog roller.
Double your irony at no extra charge: Iowa players get busted for drug charges while Kirk Ferentz, attempting to right the ship, is actually on the Iowa Hawkeye Booster Cruise. "Shore to ship, can you hear me--" "Umm, no...you're breaking CHHHRRRGGGGGFAKEMOUTHNOISEKKRRRGGGG up KRRRGGHHHH..."
Kansas loses points due to a clerical error on our part: the trumped up "dog-on-the-loose" charge has been dismissed due to PeteJayhawk's diligent work, informing us that the player in question is a fifth-year senior with no eligibility left. Not on the team, not in the tally.
Post your compliments, gratuitous stroking of our ego, and cries from the WAAAAAAHHHHHHmbulance below. And pleading for points is just perverse, unless you're from the U. Then you're just trying to compete like competitors would, playa. (We're looking at you, Barstoolio!)
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so far all major conferences seem to be representing quite well. viva america!!!
by gerry dorsey on Feb 25, 2008 1:24 PM EST reply actions
on a different not, “Pete Carroll loved the weekend, now excited for the new week to start up.”
by ryan on Feb 25, 2008 1:41 PM EST reply actions
My dawgs out of the top ten?
No recent public drunkeness?
This needs rectifying immediately. When is St. Patricks?
by hunglikehussain on Feb 25, 2008 1:44 PM EST reply actions
Gerry theres good representation amongst most of the conferences… still nothing from the ACC though… i thought VT and Miami were added there to help make them competitive??
by beckett929 on Feb 25, 2008 1:44 PM EST reply actions
Brian is officially hung like Reggie Ball (not Nelson). Wazzu has been stuck incorrectly at 4 points for at least 3 weeks now.
by Brian O'Blivion on Feb 25, 2008 1:46 PM EST reply actions
Where’s Florida? Gotta be an itchy trigger finger on an AK somewhere in Gainesville. No B&E; nothing?
by Sundawg on Feb 25, 2008 1:48 PM EST reply actions
@ beckett,
i said “major” conferences.
ZING!!!
by gerry dorsey on Feb 25, 2008 1:50 PM EST reply actions
They must have really increased the police presence on the strip since my day.
I seem to remember a lot of fights and even more people falling down all over the place w/o ever seeing a single arrest.
I guess my memories of that era are suspect at best.
by bama_buck on Feb 25, 2008 1:52 PM EST reply actions
Man, seeing Iowa back on the big board feels so… so right. It’s like seeing Vanderbilt going winless in the SEC.
by OPS on Feb 25, 2008 1:54 PM EST reply actions
@ bama buck,
not only that, but apparently the bars on the strip forgot how to take care of their local football players.
by gerry dorsey on Feb 25, 2008 1:59 PM EST reply actions
Farva. That’s French for give me my f&$ing cola.
by Supertrooper on Feb 25, 2008 2:08 PM EST reply actions
It sure does feel good not to have Ohio State up on that board.
Then again, maybe 3 or 4 points would help push us over the edge and win a pesky national championship.
by Poe McKnoe on Feb 25, 2008 2:08 PM EST reply actions
The end of the first quarter of the Fulmer Cup is this weekend. I think it has been rather high scoring. Especially when you consider that we haven’t hit spring break or warmer weather. Once spring football is over, that is when you see the most FC activity. Months between spring football and the summer practices, hot weather and w/o being bothered by classes. Plus guys go home and hang out with the wrong crowd to show they haven’t changed and PRESTO, points-a-plenty.
by Crabapple Buck on Feb 25, 2008 2:16 PM EST reply actions
Bama with only 8 points?? Shouldn’t we get double digits for a felony armed robbery?
by Jeremy Elder on Feb 25, 2008 2:19 PM EST reply actions
Since the guy at bammer was a team captain, shouldn’t that qualify him for more points, since he is supposed to be one of the leaders of the team? You know, kind of like a pyramid scheme, where for every other bammer player that gets arrested from here on out, the captain gets a bonus point for “leadership”… that is, leadership, bammer style.
WAR EAGLE!!
by Jen on Feb 25, 2008 2:19 PM EST reply actions
No mention of the recent disorderly conduct by some WKU players? Your lack of attention makes Big Red sad.
http://media.www.wkuherald.com/media/storage/paper603/news/2008/02/19/News/It.Went.Down-3218683.shtml
by jakldawg on Feb 25, 2008 2:25 PM EST reply actions
Handicapping the Fulmer Cup questions:
+ Will 15 points win it this year?
+ Who is the Ellis single person championship leader?
by Sean on Feb 25, 2008 2:47 PM EST reply actions
#14:
—I think 15 will win it, as it’s early doors right now
—The E.T. Jones III leader is Illinois’ Erique Robinson with 11 points, a linebacker who got busted at E’llusions nightclub in Champaign in connection with three felonies (unlawful discharge of a firearm and two counts of unlawful use of weapons), as well as two misdemeanors. He leads ex-Mizzou lineman John Stull, who was caught with several varieties of drugs (mainly coke and pills, but NO METH, PeteChickenhawk) good for a dime-bag of points.
by El Hombre on Feb 25, 2008 2:55 PM EST reply actions
Wait a tick… is that the convenience store from Superbad?
by poguemahone on Feb 25, 2008 3:03 PM EST reply actions
Looks like Illinois’s Erique Robertson is the leader for the Ellis Jones award, Sean. He’s got all 11 of Illinois’s points.
by SpartanDan on Feb 25, 2008 3:04 PM EST reply actions
I think AU fans who use the term “bammer” and UA fans that use “barner” should stop for a minute..and think about how fucking dumb that sounds being said..please stop..If not for me, for the State of Alabama. Thanks for your cooperation.
by CapstoneAlum on Feb 25, 2008 3:28 PM EST reply actions
The mere fact that a Mizzou fan has to specifically say that the player was not caught with meth speaks volumes.
by PeteJayhawk on Feb 25, 2008 3:48 PM EST reply actions
http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/html/cougars/2004171106_coug08.html?syndication=rss
“Washington State safety Xavier Hicks has been charged with felony second-degree assault. He is accused of putting rubbing alcohol in his roommate’s contact-lens case after a dispute about household expenses.”
AND…
http://wvgazette.com/Sports/WVU/200802070860
by Bryan on Feb 25, 2008 4:08 PM EST reply actions
@ 22
Handicapping the Fulmer Cup questions:
+ Will 15 points win it this year?
+ Who is the Ellis single person championship leader?
If 15 is the line, I’m taking the over. Its not even the end of Feb. yet. Wait til the scores come in the day after St Patrick’s Day…
by beckett929 on Feb 25, 2008 4:18 PM EST reply actions
#26: I’m coming over to chop-block your bammer butt.
If we don’t uphold the stereotype on the Internet, then a bunch of Yankees will move to this beautiful state and turn us into Florida 2.0.
So, let’s keep it real, keep it beautiful, and keep calling each other Bammers and Barners. It’s the only way to prevent the Yankee-ification of Alabama.
by NewAZTiger on Feb 25, 2008 4:28 PM EST reply actions
CapstoneAlum -
As an Auburn alum, I completely and wholeheartedly agree. It lowers my intelligence level.
See, you can work across the aisle!
/political humor (or lack thereof)
by WarCardinals on Feb 25, 2008 4:31 PM EST reply actions
#6
At least that’s the last I heard.
by Brian "Hung like Reggie F'n Nelson" on Feb 25, 2008 4:40 PM EST reply actions
NewAZ you BOOG!!!
WHOOO!!!! Got 12? Got Saban? Had Shula???
Only thing you got is chop blocks!!!!
12 National titles!!! You are jellus little brother!!!
/stereotype
by Tater Salad on Feb 25, 2008 5:00 PM EST reply actions
#26, I’ve always preferred “Crimson Necks”, myself.
On our side of the aisle, I previously interned for an aide to the late Great Senator Heflin who always referred to me as “Land Grant” whenever I’d do something foolish……
by ATL AU Tiger on Feb 25, 2008 5:12 PM EST reply actions
#37:
Care for a BCS bowl?
Sorry, you can’t have one.
by PeteJayhawk on Feb 25, 2008 7:31 PM EST reply actions
#38
Care to win the fucking game on the field against your arch rival? Sorry, you can’t do it.
by ChuckD on Feb 25, 2008 11:20 PM EST reply actions
and once again, a good thread turns into The Iron Blog, AU and UA fans trying to win an argument that can’t be won, and on a totally unrelated article.
and I vote “YES” to veto the “Bammer”/“Barner” thing. how fucking stupid is that- i grew up there and have only started hearing this shit for the last few Iron Blog threads, so don’t even try to pull it off as the tradition of the rivalry, unless you are one of the “fans” who never went to said college and are no longer allowed to speak on the topic anyway…
by Terry Tate, Office Linebacker on Feb 26, 2008 12:41 PM EST reply actions
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