CURIOUS INDEX, 2/25/08

by Orson on Feb 25, 2008 9:00 AM EST

The Orlando Sentinel is getting Fark-y with its coverage of college football, and god bless them for it.

He does get to crush Bobby Bowden's windpipe with his mind every November. The Crackberry's a nice touch.

Pelini wins 'em over with grit, crippling armbars. We were sitting in a camp chair in New Orleans getting a tarot card reading when Bo Pelini jogged by--not that we noticed, at first, since in passing he looked like your neighborhood MMA fighter out for his morning roadwork. He's a fearsome-looking man in person, and according to the New York Times, knocking 'em dead at Nebraska booster lunches with his deep array of kata garumas, leg-holds, and chokeholds.

Having Corn God Tom Osborne play warmup duty doesn't hurt, either.

Osborne, who grew up 25 miles south of here in Hastings, said all the familiar faces reminded him of his first date with her. He said she slapped him three times.

Its not what you think, he said, holding the crowd for a beat.

She wanted to make sure I wasnt dead, said Osborne, whose set jaw and stoic manner can famously make him look somnambulant.

Rick Neuheisel's wife slaps him twice every day, btw, but not for the same reason.

South Florida's damn cheap. And if you'll remember the final quarter of the Rutgers/USF game this year, you'll see why. Offensive coordinator Greg Gregory may make only (Ahem: "only") $120,000, but with the Rutgers defense swinging unblocked hammers at Matt Grothe, the USF offense literally had no hot reads against the blitz. Nothin'. Zip.

He got that wood! Darren McFadden gave the full monty to NFL Draft Combine types, and verified he brings that wood to all phases of his life:

Thats where news got out that Arkansas running back Darren McFadden is not only battling a paternity suit, but that he told a team during an interview Saturday night that he has two children on the way. In addition to meeting with the Falcons, he met with the Raiders, who pick fourth in the draft, and several other teams.

The Falcons are looking into backgrounds now. No idea why. Also, when NFL fans ask you "OMG who the fuck is this McFadden guy?", you may claim you were not surprised to see him run a MOTHERFUCKING MOTHER OF GOD 4.27 at the combine.

Combine the two pieces of news, and flash forward to a time eighteen years from now when Next-Gen Mcfadden 2.0 runs a 3.9 at the combine, finishing the race with shoes burned clean off his feet.

Bitches be causin' problems. The Bryan/College Station Eagle solicited responses from readers concerning the replacement for the collie Reveille, the Aggie mascot who retires this year. The response was "vigorous," meaning in this case "far more disturbing in its intensity and volume than the newspaper expected." The good thing? Seemingly everyone wants the Corps of Cadets to pick a mutt from a shelter to honor the first Reveille, a stray picked up off the side of the road, though some are far more specific than others about how this should happen.

"Early each spring, ceremonial representatives of A&M and the Corps of Cadets should visit the Brazos Valley Animal Shelter, meet the available dogs, learn about their personalities from the shelter folks, and select the next Reveille that very day. Reveille would then go into mascot training on campus during the spring semester, and graduate (be commissioned as mascot and member of the Corps) at the end of one of the spring graduation ceremonies.

"During the summer, there would officially be two Reveilles, the outgoing Reveille and the incoming Reveille. This would greatly reduce the travel and public appearance demands on any one dog. Both dogs would be loved and sought after. The outgoing Reveille would be officially retired during halftime of the first home football game of the season. The incoming Reveille would then serve as sole mascot for the fall and spring semesters, and complete its 1.5-year tour of duty at the end of the summer, when a new Reveille takes over. There would be no shortage of homes willing to adopt this dog, who at the beginning of the story had no home at all." -- John Nielsen-Gammon.

We were going to make fun of that suggestion, but...we actually like it. Go muttish, Aggies. Bob Barker urges you to spay and neuter your pets, but in a clean veterinary setting, not like Jackie Sherrill did.

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Bama is starting to show some consistency in the FC race.

http://sports.espn.go.com/ncf/news/story?id=3260664

by Cincy on Feb 25, 2008 9:10 AM EST reply actions

So I was talked into going out of town to watch my nephew play in a little league tournament, where I saw none other than Darth Meyer himself. He may be a sith lord, but I have to give him some credit for going to Lake City (if you’ve never been to Lake City, it’s less a city than an elongated interstate exit) to watch his kid be the worst player on a nine-year-old baseball team. God, that shit was boring.

by Biggus Rickus on Feb 25, 2008 9:12 AM EST reply actions

4.27 40 yd time for McFadden.

Mind status: Blown.

He’s gonna need those jets running from his baby-mommas’. Here’s a tip for future athletes: Don’t want 400 women chasing after you for child support payments? Don’t fuck 400 women. You can spread your seed, but make damn sure you know exactly where your seeds are going.

by Chris on Feb 25, 2008 9:20 AM EST reply actions

2 – Do you guys really have baseball going already down there?

by DanF on Feb 25, 2008 9:25 AM EST reply actions

Bowl games need to start tossing a few (hundred) rubbers in with the goodie bags.

Lake City is an extremely elongated exit off I-75. There seems to be an exit for that town in at least 3 different Counties. Oh wait, they have a Cracker Barrel. Makes perfect sense.

by Allahver Fist on Feb 25, 2008 9:26 AM EST reply actions

And that’s exactly why I’m a cat person.

I thought it was Chris Jones from ECU who ran a 4.27 and McFadden ran something like a 4.3. That’s still incredibly fast, but not so fast you’d smack your mother for fucking the dependable guy with thick ankles instead of the dickhead 100 meter champion.

by Harris on Feb 25, 2008 9:28 AM EST reply actions

i have to question dmac’s time being a legit 4.27, but even a bullshit 4.27 is impressive. i mean if you get clocked at 4.27 its not like you really ran a 4.8.

aggies are funny.

by gerry dorsey on Feb 25, 2008 9:29 AM EST reply actions

DanF,

Indeed we do. When you have almost no winter it makes it easy.

Harris,

I read that his raw time was 4.27, but it was adjusted up to 4.33, which is still Darrell Green, fastest man in the NFL speed.

by Biggus Rickus on Feb 25, 2008 9:33 AM EST reply actions

Personally if I’m D-Mac or any other legitimately good athlete in college…. get a vasectomy your freshman year. you can get that crap fixed after the NFL.

by ThreenOut on Feb 25, 2008 9:41 AM EST reply actions

Lake City is the Gateway of Florida. For the past few months, I’ve been on a one-man campaign to make it the new capital of the state. I mean, c;mon, it has twice as many interstates running through it as Tallahassee. That’s gotta count for something.

by PW on Feb 25, 2008 9:42 AM EST reply actions

Well, we know where DMac’s signing bonus is going. Travis Henry and Shawn Kemp think he is OK for a beginner.

by Crabapple Buck on Feb 25, 2008 9:50 AM EST reply actions

Booooo…

Pellini stole that “slap” line from Kathryn Richt, Mark’s wife and pourer of Power (NOT Gator) Aid extraordinare

by Darkknight on Feb 25, 2008 9:53 AM EST reply actions

PW,

It also has more fast-food joints per capita than any city in the country. Making it the capital would ensure that state reps weren’t wasting time with elaborate meals and devoting more time to the people’s business.

by Biggus Rickus on Feb 25, 2008 10:10 AM EST reply actions

Yeah, insert a “were” into that last sentence betweent “and” and “devoting.”

by Biggus Rickus on Feb 25, 2008 10:12 AM EST reply actions

yeah, but she stole it from Tom Osborne

by PW on Feb 25, 2008 10:13 AM EST reply actions

As much as I would love to say, OSBORNE’s COMING AND HE IS TAKING YOU ALL TO HELL WITH HIM!!!! Right now, I would gladly take purgatory.

by Meatybob on Feb 25, 2008 10:47 AM EST reply actions

BiggusRickus:
Yes, I agree. The fine dining in Tallahassee is too extravagant. Macaroni Grill AND a Carrabbas? Insanity.

by robert on Feb 25, 2008 11:11 AM EST reply actions

D-Mac should have followed Orson’s advice to Titus Brown after MSU whupped bama.

“Wear a condom.”

by yoyofutbawl on Feb 25, 2008 11:14 AM EST reply actions

Bo Jackson’s 40 time:

4.19

If you question his skills, he will chop block you

by Wregl on Feb 25, 2008 11:19 AM EST reply actions

Don’t get the Vader thing at all. He broke no rules that I know of when trying convert Luke to the dark side. Darth Maul, on the other hand, is a totally different story. But I don’t have to tell you that.

by chum1 on Feb 25, 2008 11:21 AM EST reply actions

17: When visiting a friend at Duke Medical school I met one of his friends, who grew up in the area. I asked him what good local restaurants there were in the area, and he mentioned Macaroni Grill. Just think, in nine years, he’ll be operating on someone.

by Rob G on Feb 25, 2008 11:25 AM EST reply actions

According to NFL.com, Darren McFadden ran a 4.33. More Impressively, Chris Johnson ran a mother-lickin’ 4.24!!!

by AgnosticTheocrat on Feb 25, 2008 11:57 AM EST reply actions

17: Hey, motherfucker, we got that Chubby’s popping, too.

by chris on Feb 25, 2008 12:04 PM EST reply actions

Iowa getting into the FC race…

http://www.kcrg.com/home/related/15909922.html

by Brian O'Blivion on Feb 25, 2008 12:08 PM EST reply actions

Someone should’ve cock-blocked McFadden.

by NewAZTiger on Feb 25, 2008 12:42 PM EST reply actions

If the Macaroni Grill had been founded in Tallahassee, it would have been the Fried Chicken and Macaroni Grill.

by Allahver Fist on Feb 25, 2008 12:49 PM EST reply actions

Yeah, McFadden ran a 4.33. That’s not “Fastest Man in the NFL.” It’s good for second fastest RB in this class though. Jonathon Stewart is physically the best back in the draft though.

by janus09 on Feb 25, 2008 2:26 PM EST reply actions