Everyday Should Be Saturday

February 22, 2008

FRIDAY CHEESECAKE: BOBARABA!

Begin with the hat tip to the Official EDSBS Bundameister Kanu, who led us to the marvelous cheesecake we offer today.

The biggest hit in Cote D’Ivoire at the moment is “Bobaraba,” a song whose title in the local Djouf means a large and very attractive behind. (Same number of syllables as “Badonkadonk;” deep grammar types, rejoice!) The concept behind (snicker) the song:

“We made it as a tribute to women, because African women are defined by the shape of their bottoms,” he says.

“Move your bottom, jump, you see, it’s alive.”

So, bunda becomes Bobaraba today as we celebrate the ladies of West Africa and Cote d’Ivoire.

BOBARABA! Any video that begins with an exploding logo must be awesome. Feel free to clear the office chairs out and shake your own bobaraba, even if it’s on the flat and caucasoid side.

Additional examples of bobarabage follow after the jump, including one pic of Absolutely Amber, who you’ll agree has an honorary bobaraba. (more…)

ORSON AND PETE ARE TIGHT LIKE THAT

This morning we blogged over in the first person at the Sporting Blog that not only does Pete Carroll have a Facebook page, but that we had a friend request on the way for him. Fear us, haters: the request has been approved.

Suck it, world: Pete Carroll just approved our friend request. I’M SO JACKED. We mean, this can start slowly: first we’ll just write on each other’s Walls, then a little boogie boarding when we’re in town, then 3 a.m. push-up contests in South Central while we’re out saving inner-city youth together, then I’ll move in and be his Kato, you know, helping with the laundry and stuff, then yelling out “TOKYO!” with the defensive staff while we’re breaking down film and learning how to live on oxygen, good vibes, and two hours of sleep a night…

Or, you know, we could just write on each other’s Walls. We mean, it could just be internet friends. No pressure, Pete!

LE SPREAD AND THE PRO GAME

Seeing the spread game eventually filter into the pro game didn’t surprise: despite the fact they lost in the Super Bowl to the Giants, the Patriots enjoyed freefire success working out of spread sets all year long, a tweak by OC Matt Cassel Josh McDaniels that had the Patriots quick-and-gone passing game looking a lot like they were videotaping Florida and LSU practices. (It’s not Tom Brady’s fault that the Giants looked like they had eight defensive linemen on every play; it’s just that Osi Umemyiora’s scat play gave him superhuman powers, and you can’t fight that…at least not without washing your hands vigorously afterwards.)


And with the mention of Osi Umenyiora’s sexual proclivities…Marmite looks so much tastier now, doesn’t it?

Football Outsiders, being the geek crack dealers they are, include this tidbit of tidbits in their draft prep review:

…Most interesting were his comments about what the increase of the spread offense in college football has done to player evaluation. It was McCloughan’s belief that drive-blocking has been de-emphasized, and pass protection over-emphasized. While this may mirror certain trends in the pro game, McCloughan said that it’s almost a relief to scout a more traditional offense like USC’s.

He also said that increasing numbers of three- and four-wide sets are changing the tight end position — you’ll see more guys who were previously thought to be too short at 6-foot-2 or 6-3 being evaluated as tight ends/hybrid receivers as opposed to H-backs. The obvious question was: How will new 49ers offensive coordinator Mike Martz, who has traditionally thrown less to tight ends then most, work with Vernon Davis? The answer seemed to be: Don’t be surprised to see him spread out wide more often. This is a case where the college game may be affecting the professional trend over time.

There’s a chicken/egg question here: are you going to see spread sets more often in the pros because of its effectiveness (see: Pats’ 07), or because that’s the recipe the goods coming up the pipeline work best in? (My, that’s a mixed metaphor: cuisine, petrochemical delivery systems.) The scenario itself seems odd: the spread came about as a result of trying to create mismatches and spread the field to create both running and passing lanes. Sounds nice enough, in theory.

Now one nice thing about doing that is that someone on the field in college cannot cover their space effectively. By giving them more space and more of a penalty for making an error–slip a tackle, and the ballcarrier could be clear from hell to breakfast behind you–you’re maximizing your chances of advancing the ball. In theory, the advantage is the same in the pros, but a few things happen at the pro level that prove to be murderous complications for the spread.

1. Pressure. The level of athleticism on the defensive side of the ball in the pros represents a different species of human beings. Julius Peppers is on defense; this alone should get the point across. If you blitz in the pros against a spread formation, the read and delivery have to be done in nano seconds. Put a Leftwich back there, and it’s wolves shredding flesh all day long. Get pressure with only four, and we’re talking “Eli Manning, Super Bowl Champion.”

2. Coverage. All pro DBs can tackle. All of them. They can’t all cover, DeAngelo Hall hi!, but they can all tackle and beat blocks, more often than not. This means a lot of the three and five yard curls are incompletions, and the jailbreak runs after the catch are greatly limited. One effect of the West Coast offense was to turn DBs into tacklers as sure-handed as linebackers, and with the Walsh School running as the conventional wisdom of the NFL, the effect remains.

As for the return of the H-back, that’s less significant, and another lead taken from the college game. Hugeass receivers: that’s what tight ends become in the spread, for the most part. Look at Missouri for what TEs will be in the evolving spread: dynamic receivers, and big blockers when need be, but essentially just large moving objects in space like everyone else…albeit ones the size of moose running full-speed down the field. Have fun tackling Vernon Davis in space! It’ll feel like cotton candy sparkles and ponies!

CURIOUS INDEX, 2/22/08

American Samoa rules. 15 percent of American Samoan football players go on to play college football, an astonishing rate for any place, much less one plonked out in the middle of the Pacific Ocean. The players share mouthpieces, so short are they on equipment, meaning the arrival of a Pop Warner league sponsored by USA Football (the governing authority in amateur football in the mainland) could increase the number of players with the Polamalu fringe sticking out of the helmet playing in college ball. By percentage, American Samoa could be the most football-crazed spot on the planet.

We’ll all be doing the Haka soon enough, and couldn’t be happier about it. For an intimate look at what practice on that one good field looks like, here’s some youth football scrimmage footage taken in American Samoa that looks pretty representative: tin roofs in the back ground, looming, lush volcanic hills, a soggy field, and lots of really thick kids playing their asses off in the slog.

Subway Domer have TAH-NOO-TAH press conference. TAH-NOO-TAH SAY HE NO PREFER NOTHING AT NOTRE DAME–HIM AT NOTRE DAME! THIS ALL THAT MATTER! RAAAAHAHHHHHHHHH!!! HIM WORK WITH KOR-WINN BROWN TO MAKE BEST PACKAGE, NOT FIGHT OVER WHO GETS STEAKBONE OF CHIEF DEFENSE MAN!

Jeremy Elder, the Alabama football player who used a gun to get $26 off a pair of Alabama undergrads in an alleged robbery this week, will seek youthful offender status. This could reduce his sentence, and would also officially distinguish him from those old and busted non-youthful offenders in the jail.

Elder really could have made more money selling the gun, but he wouldn’t have had a chance to recoup the investment multiple times over. You know the saying: sell a gun, and you eat once; teach a man to mug, and he’ll eat decently for a week before he’s shot or arrested.

They’re not supposed to talk back! Phil Fulmer responds to columnist John Adams’ column earlier this week calling for Fulmer’s firing for failing to address the disciplinary issues swarming around the Vol football program. Phil, you obviously don’t understand this: columnists write stuff, and you sit there and take it. Respond to bloggers–we’re just guys living in our mom’s basements, and we need the publicity because Mom’s trying to get us to pay rent, man!

“Our internal discipline is based on one factor alone: the course that is most likely to help that individual young man make amends and get his life straight,” Fulmer wrote in the column that will appear in Friday’s edition.

“I’ve undoubtedly made some mistakes, but I try to do what I think is in the best interest for each young man.”

We should mention that Tennessee is only second in the Fulmer Cup standings at this point. Cough. Joel has the whole letter over at RTT.

Finally, this guy rules. If you’re going to give the finger to fans, don’t soft-pedal it: put it to the floor and don’t let up ’til the engine locks up or you run out of gas.

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