VIVA JOEPA!
by Orson on Feb 19, 2008 4:44 PM EST
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PrintThe Emperor thanks you for your patronage, your patience, and your loyalty. All these years, since the grand experiment began, we have devoted ourselves to one idea and one idea alone: The Great Experiment. Its concept took root from the fertile soil of the ancients, a wellspring of ideas that flows through us today. Our idea was theirs: that athletes and academics could not only co-exist, but thrive under the guiding hand of a all-knowing, beneficent leader. Separate, our weakness makes us snap like twigs; but bonded together as one, we can combined cut through the hardest of times like a great axe.
So we celebrate outlasting another failed ideology today, Penn Staters. Another dictator gone while our beloved Emperor before us in his august robes, healthy and ready to face another season, another year, bold, fierce and just as he was the day he assumed power! Tyrants fade like Ozymandias, while our brave emperor dons the laurel yet again.
Witness his stamina!
Morituri te salutamus, JoePa! And suck it, Castro! You picked the wrong sport from the start, comrade!
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LSU freek continues to amaze.
If he can just outlast the Clinton Dynasty….
by ThreenOut on Feb 19, 2008 4:52 PM EST reply actions
Excellent. There has been a fair amount of local talk regarding the board of trustees and the PSU president getting together to discuss whether or not this will be JoePa’s last year – as if they have a choice.
by DanF on Feb 19, 2008 4:55 PM EST reply actions
1000 cocktails!
I sure do hate LSU . . . but I love LSUFreek.
by Kernel on Feb 19, 2008 4:56 PM EST reply actions
You can knock 20 years off of Joepa when he is deuce stepping.
by sonofsamford on Feb 19, 2008 4:57 PM EST reply actions
Joe was an assistant at PSU for nine years (!) before Castro slapped Batista out of office. And Castro finished about as strong as a tOSU defense in January. There can be no comparison.
by Flatlander on Feb 19, 2008 5:01 PM EST reply actions
That was magical. If LSUFreek had worked Brezhnev in there, I might have wet myself.
by DC Trojan on Feb 19, 2008 5:10 PM EST reply actions
No way Castro would outrun Nixon, Arafat maybe, but not Nixon.
by Brian O'Blivion on Feb 19, 2008 5:10 PM EST reply actions
O’s anti-baseball agenda rears its head, once again…
Pitchers who work off of 3 days rest and have guaranteed contracts mock your NFL quarterbacks.
by Coop on Feb 19, 2008 5:52 PM EST reply actions
Is that Nixon back there? That fucker cost us a MNC, also I guess he was evil for other reasons too.
by Nick on Feb 19, 2008 7:04 PM EST reply actions
Too good!
Several hundred swigs of Rum for LSUFreek and a dozen or so bottles for Oroson.
by marcillac on Feb 19, 2008 7:17 PM EST reply actions
Michael Adams has announced his intentions of going to PSU and ending JoePa’s career. He will then honor JoePa by putting a statue of him in a womens bathroom somewhere off campus.
by Dawg 05 on Feb 19, 2008 8:29 PM EST reply actions
Yo….WHY THE FUCK IS SNOOP DOGG IN STARKVILLE, MS TONIGHT????
So if snoop dogg is in starkville,are all the cows saying moo-izzle? What are the chances that as he’s coming down Oktoc or some other random road….and smell a dead skunk, he just thinks someone has some really really good weed?
Seriously….can you think of a more unusual people/location scenario than Calvin Broadus/Snoop and Starkville, MS? Honestly?
I’ll try, but probably to little/zero success.
David Duke/Compton, California
Amy Winehouse/rehab
The Pope/random brothel
Pacman Jones/not in a strip club
Marilyn Manson/baptist church
R Kelly/In bed with someone over 14
Trace Adkins/without my foot in his ass
by SpookyJuice on Feb 19, 2008 8:32 PM EST reply actions
Jim Tressel / in a regular bowl game.
by Ted Ginn did Everythin' on Feb 19, 2008 9:59 PM EST reply actions
This is oh so old (4 years ago), but it’s new to me. I was watching a Simpson’s rerun when it came to this bit.
I about laughed up a lung.
by Pappy on Feb 20, 2008 12:11 AM EST reply actions
joepa feasts upon the blood of a unicorn at each new moon, this is how he keeps his youthful vigor.
by PTTO on Feb 20, 2008 12:30 AM EST reply actions
Castro and Paterno were both born in 1926 – as was Queen Elizabeth II – once she’s out – Joe will be the oldest living sovereign – well, there’s that guy in Saudi Arabia – but he’s only been in power since 2005 – pfft.
by PSUgirl on Feb 20, 2008 11:01 AM EST reply actions
JoePa is just an older version of Michael Corvin only he’s not a really werewolf, not really a vampire, and not having wild animalistic sex with Kate Beckinsale…um, what was I saying again?
by Touchdown74 on Feb 20, 2008 3:24 PM EST reply actions
Perusing the internets has led me to Penn State’s rap sheet for the decade. 56 arrests. There’s a reason they’re called State Penn in Big Ten country.
1. Maurice Humphrey, Arrest, Assault & Prison Guilty
2. Maurice Humphrey – Guilty Probation Violation
3. Maurice Humphrey – Fake ID Probation Violation Guilty
4. Tyler Reed, Drunk In Public Summary Charge Guilty
5. Andrew Richardson, Drunk In Public Summary Charge Guilty
6. Rashard Casey, Arrest, Assault, Dismissed
7. Anwar Phillips, Arrest, Assault, Dismissed
8. T.C. Cosby, Arrest, Assault, Acquitted
9. Michael Robinson, Ice-Rink Fight Summary Charge
10. Lavon Chisley, Arrest, Sexual Assault, Dismissed
11. Paul Jefferson, Drunk In Public Summary Charge Guilty
12. Ed Johnson, Ice-rink fight Summary Charge Guilty
13. Matthew Rice, Ice-rink fight Summary Charge Guilty
14. John Bronson, Arrest, Assault, Dismissed
15. Jeremy Kapinos, Drunk In Public Summary Charge
16. Tom McHugh, Hitting A Woman Summary Charge
17. Tony Johnson, Arrest, DUI Guilty
18. Richard Cheek, Arrest, Stolen Credit Card Guilty
19. Yaacov Yisreal, DUI, Guilty
20. Dan Drogan, DUI Leaving Accident, Guilty
21. Dethrell Garcia, DUI, Guilty
22. Scott Paxson, Criminal Mischief, Summary Charge Guilty
23. E.Z. Smith, Drunk In Public Summary Charge Guilty
24. R.J. Luke, Arrest Assault, Acquitted
25. Damone Jones, Unknown Charges Dismissed From School
26. Mike Sothern, Terroristic Disorderly Criminal Mischief Guilty
27. Mike Sothern Criminal Mischief Expelled Guilty
28. EZ Smith Criminal Mischief Summary Charge Guilty
29. Scott Paxson Criminal Mischief Summary Charge Guilty
30. Tyler Reed Criminal Mischief Summary Charge Guilty
31. Andrew Richardson Criminal Mischief Summary Charge Guilty
32. Ed Johnson Sexual Misconduct Arrest Guilty
34. Dan Connor Criminal Mischief Phone Summary Charge Guilty
35. Nolan MCready Criminal Mischief Phone Summary Charge Guilty
36. Jim Kanuch Criminal Mischief Summary Phone Charge Guilty
37. Paul Cronin Drunk In Public Summary Charge Guilty
38. Scott Paxson Sexual Assault & Aggravated Indecent Charge Guilty
39. Francis Claude Arrest At Bar Disorderly Conduct Guilty
40. Ed Johnson Failed Drug Test Condition Of Parole Guilty
41. Lavon Chisley Murder Charge Guilty Life Sentence
42. Anthony P. Scirrotto burglary, criminal trespass, criminal solicitation, simple assault, harassment. Trial Pending
43. Chris I. Baker burglary, criminal trespass criminal trespass, disorderly conduct, harassment. Trial Pending
44. Jerome A. Hayes criminal trespass, disorderly conduct, harassment. Dismissed
45. Justin King criminal trespass, disorderly conduct, harassment. Dismissed
46. Tyrell A. Sales criminal trespass, disorderly conduct, harassment Dismissed
47. Lydell R. Sargeant criminal trespass, disorderly conduct, harassment Dismissed
48. Andrew Quarless-Underage Drinking Guilty
49. Willie Harriot-Underage Drinking Guilty
50. Austin Scott Rape, Drugs Trial
51. Joe Suhey Underage Drinking Guilty
52. Ryan Breen Underage Drinking Guilty,
54. Chris Baker felony aggravated assault, simple assault, disorderly conduct, summary harassment and stalking, Pending.
55. Navarro Bowman felony aggravated assault, simple assault, disorderly conduct, summary harassment and stalking, Pending.
56. Knowledge Timmons, disorderly conduct and defiant trespass, Pending
[/propaganda]
by poguemahone on Feb 20, 2008 4:01 PM EST reply actions
Oh, one more thing. Check out what Mike Sothern was arrested for.
by poguemahone on Feb 20, 2008 4:02 PM EST reply actions
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