URBAN MEYER IS AN ATROCIOUS SALESMAN
Urban Meyer’s sales skills are among the worst we’ve ever seen in coaching commercials–they’re downright Fulmer-esque, down to the cue-card missile lock of his eyes to the awkward fist pump he employs about halfway into this abortion of an orange juice ad.
The good thing: he’s actually improved from year one. There’s a jewelry store ad lurking somewhere out there that, if it saw the light of day, would make James Lipton jump headfirst off the nearest tall building.
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1
Bottagetta says:
I think I will start a band called “Gently Pasteurized”.
P.S. For some strange reason, when linked to youtube, I always go directly to Ric Flair “Just Like That”.
February 19th, 2008 at 10:50 am
2
Biggus Rickus says:
“Simply unfooled around with” is the most awkward fucking slogan I’ve ever seen. It’s even more awkward than the fist pump.
February 19th, 2008 at 10:50 am
3
ThreenOut says:
Tebow could have made this work.
February 19th, 2008 at 10:52 am
4
Johnny Douche says:
Urban needs to take acting lessons from Brandon Cox.
February 19th, 2008 at 10:53 am
5
AllWhoYonder says:
Biggus, that was the same thing I was thinking. Apparently, one does not need to have passed middle school language arts to write commercial slogans.
February 19th, 2008 at 10:54 am
6
haybeav says:
“It’s like people only do things because they get paid…and that’s just really sad.”
February 19th, 2008 at 10:55 am
7
Orson Swindle says:
Haybeav, I think we have a meme going there.
February 19th, 2008 at 10:59 am
8
Biggus Rickus says:
AllWhoYonder,
It might work for my virgin store though. Simply Virgins? Has a nice ring.
February 19th, 2008 at 11:01 am
9
RaginCajunRebel says:
Houston Nutt thinks that slogan is stupid, and would never want to be “unfooled around with.”
Saban, however, likes the sound of that.
February 19th, 2008 at 11:04 am
10
Grimey says:
Urban Meyer commercials are one of the main reasons I watch The Urban Meyer Show every Sunday morning.
This orange juice commercial, the Red Baron pizza press conference commercial, and my personal favorite, “T.K., how do you do it? How do you stay at the top?”
February 19th, 2008 at 11:06 am
11
rjsplow says:
Nothing beats coming to on a Sunday morning in the fall in Gainesville, turning on “Breakfast with the Gators” and seeing this commercial about 5-6 times in the span of about an hour on channel 48. I didn’t care how badly my head would hurt I would always- always- crack up at the “will to win” fist pump.
February 19th, 2008 at 11:10 am
12
Uzo Ometu says:
That has to be the worst celebrity spot I have ever seen. In fact, to call that a celebrity spot, is an insult to celebrities everywhere.
-Uzo
February 19th, 2008 at 11:12 am
13
PW says:
I grew up on the old Osmose/Yellawood Bobby Bowden commercials and they are solid country gold.
February 19th, 2008 at 11:13 am
14
Gatorpilot says:
I have a confession: I was sick as a dog last week and decided I needed some OJ. I went to the store, saw the selection: Simply Orange, Tropicana, some store-brand, and some others. I said to myself, “Self, doesn’t Urban push the Simply Orange?” “Why, yes he does.” Sorry Tropicana! I want something that’s simply unfooled around with.
February 19th, 2008 at 11:15 am
15
hunglikehussain says:
@12
Then you evidently haven’t seen this…..
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1IQELY3beHM
February 19th, 2008 at 11:21 am
16
Biggus Rickus says:
I like that they didn’t even bother to film Tuberville at night or choose a day-game clip. I haven’t watched a coach’s show in a while. I forgot how bad the Golden Flake ads were.
February 19th, 2008 at 11:24 am
17
drogue says:
Tongue-tied and twisted, just an earthbound misfit.
February 19th, 2008 at 11:28 am
18
Scalz1 says:
I love this orange juice. It is the best without a doubt. It sucks that I will never be able to drink any ever again. I “simply” refuse to consume any product endorsed by Douchey Mcdoucherton.
February 19th, 2008 at 11:28 am
19
Burt Osborne says:
My last year in college I worked as an intern for a production company. We made a commercial for Jimmy dean sausage and Fulmer was the spokesman.
Anyway, we were pushing sausage biscuits and most people spit out the food after each take. Not Fulmer. He really ate the food. We had about 75 takes. He probably ate about 30 sausage biscuits. I’m pretty sure he could have eaten another 20.
Anyway, after the shoot Fulmer took a huge dump in the bed of our pickup truck.
February 19th, 2008 at 11:31 am
20
LL says:
My favorite is the Red Baron Pizza commercial with Urban and Billy in the plane. Classic.
February 19th, 2008 at 11:32 am
21
AllWhoYonder says:
shit, drogue, little early in the day for the Pink Floyd lyrics, isn’t it?
February 19th, 2008 at 11:35 am
22
rjsplow says:
#15:
You’re right, the Riverboat Gambler Ad is definitely worse. What scares me about Tuberville’s ad is that if he was holding a piece of candy or an iPod and waving his hands like that, Chris Hansen and Dateline would be on the first flight out to the Plains
February 19th, 2008 at 11:35 am
23
Troy says:
I miss the Ron Zook Simply Orange commercials. Other than the hilarity of the Zooker pretending to understand the importance of “the fundamentals, like blocking and tackling,” the man could sell some shit. I always wanted to chug a quart of OJ and run through a wall.
Urban’s most horrible commercial was the Red Baron commercial he did with Billy Donovan. A bi-plane lands, and Billy and Urban gets out, and Urban announces to Billy, “yeah, I like to air it out.” This commercial was all over the place in 05, the season notable for the fact that our offense apparently had no idea what “airing it out” meant. Really, coach, you do, then how about a pass longer than 10 yards? Please?
February 19th, 2008 at 11:37 am
24
SunDawg says:
Christ, and to think I USED to drink Simply Orange. Dammit, now Gatorade and SO are on the Never Buy list!
Coaches and former players shouldn’t do radio ads either; driving anywhere near Gainesville on game day makes you think area radio stations have been captured by redneck terrorists.
February 19th, 2008 at 11:42 am
25
Coop says:
I will know that Clemson has made it as a legitimate national power, or that Yellawood has a larger market share in South Carolina, when I see Tommy whoring himself out to the fat man from Auburn and his wood.
Anyway, show me a guy that did not waste away a Monday or Tuesday afternoon in the fall during college watching 3 or 4 straight hours of coaches shows or Fox SS, or CSS, or the Sunshine Networks, depending on where you live…
and I will show you someone I do not want to associate with.
February 19th, 2008 at 11:49 am
26
M says:
I can’t decide which I like more: the Billy D. ones for Simply Orange (because of that accent when he says the word “orange”) or the old Spur-dog commercials for the VILLAGE JEW’ER. I’ll go with the old Spurrier ones…
February 19th, 2008 at 11:55 am
27
sb says:
Spurrier’s osmose ad about the rare yella tail-gator was the best of the bunch…and for being just as stiff as the rest that one makes him appear human. I still think that fat auburn guy just likes to dress up in strange clothes…
February 19th, 2008 at 12:05 pm
28
Rich says:
Our favorite back in school was the Spurrier Golden Flake one. “My fav’rit play is a sack…. sack uh Golden Flake potatuh chips that is.”
And I like Donovan’s Red Baron line: “Offisha Pizza Sponsah!”
February 19th, 2008 at 12:05 pm
29
the croominator says:
Still can’t top the Orgeron:
http://blog.lordsutch.com/archives/3005
Big, tough, aggressive…yawyawyawyawyaw…tell em about it, Jo Jo!
*sniff sniff* I’m gonna miss that big cajun bastard…damn my allergies.
February 19th, 2008 at 12:18 pm
30
Matt says:
The best SO moment was with Spurrier and the whole team at the breakfast table with heaping glasses of oj: “Besides, we got something in common. We’re both orange!”
February 19th, 2008 at 12:25 pm
31
Diamond M says:
Nothing is more awkward than the Bob Knight commercial for a local Lubbock pet joint pain product (which used to air during Dallas-area broadcasts of the Red Raiders’ games).
“Just as joint pain can be a problem for you … and for me … so too can it be a problem for your dog…”
The stiffness of the delivery, plus Bob Knight’s eyebrows, just cannot be topped. I wish I could find video of it. I tried and failed.
February 19th, 2008 at 12:56 pm
32
tail of two titties says:
Anybody remember Curly Hallman’s Yugo commercial? Goes something like this:
“Down in Bayou country you need a Yugo to get around. I got mine at Bertman Yugo. Go get you one and Geaux Tigers.”
I still cringe thinking about that.
February 19th, 2008 at 1:00 pm
33
Dr. Cruz says:
John Cooper’s hot tub commercial in 1988 was pretty bad.
February 19th, 2008 at 1:31 pm
34
Wes says:
You have got to love SEC coaches commercials. Especially Golden Flake, as per Rich’s post. Ah, the great, hurmph, awful commercials of Pat Dye for Golden Flake.
“Getcha some gouden flake tater chips fer a tiger of a taste.” Or some awful shit like that.
Or Terry Bowden perhaps: “khekgh hgldhfg gdhipwkflw golden flake uowj jopbjr hsiuf”
February 19th, 2008 at 1:35 pm
35
Reasonable_Bama_Fan says:
I love Simply Orange. That and Indian River are the only two OJ’s worth drinking. I’m not gonna stop drinking it just cause Urban endorses it; if his hawt wife endorsed it, I’d buy more. Never let my product choices be dictated by commercials or who is in them.
February 19th, 2008 at 1:43 pm
36
reb pup says:
Dog Brewer did one of the classic vintage “One taste and your’e stuck on Golden Flake!”
I’ll try to youtube it later.
February 19th, 2008 at 3:07 pm
37
Warthen says:
You haven’t seen wonderful until you’ve seen Ray Goff as a pitchman.
February 19th, 2008 at 3:12 pm
38
Pac10dude says:
i heard him drink it
February 19th, 2008 at 4:20 pm
39
Hang up & Listen says:
19,
you made my day. One of the funniest things I can remember reading.
for more Jimmy Rayne classics go to:
http://www.yellawood.com
February 19th, 2008 at 5:15 pm
40
citiesaregreat says:
Folks, drinking an OJ because of who does, or does not, endorse it is suspect at least. I for one am not an Urbanator fan. In fact I probably hate his intestines, if the whole truth were known, as much as anybody. That does not alter the fact that the OJ being pimped, if I can say that, is GOOOOOD. In fact, just thinking about that BIG glass of Simply Orange country stand, medium pulp/calcium in the morning is beginning to give me a little ….. anyway, it’s good. Buy some. Now off to watch Sundiata Gaines get his hind end whipped.
February 19th, 2008 at 8:07 pm