CURIOUS INDEX, 2/19/08
by Orson on Feb 19, 2008 9:01 AM EST
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Terrelle Pryor is still thinking about schools, beating all your asses. Terrelle Pryor still has no idea when he's going to make up his mind. You can do this when you're phenomenally physically talented. You can also threaten to go into the crowd at a basketball game when you take particular issue with the taunts, but remember, Terelle: you can only take the crowd so long as they're rushing away from you. When they surge back, it's trouble time. Take a cue from the Memphis Tigers: keep the pimp hand strong, and take on fans with a disdainful but stylish slap.
John Adams--the Tennessee columnist, and not the second president of our country, we assume, unless he was a vampire and has been living off the blood of the innocent all these years--comes out and makes the "time to go" column for Phil Fulmer. This prompts Losers With Socks to play Buffy, go down the hellmouth, and put a stake through Adams, who as they pointed out graduated from Louisiana State University, and must therefore after thirty years as a sleeper cell in the heart of Vol country has gone active in attempting to overturn the Fulmer regime. Spies, everywhere! Spies, I tell you! Everett Withers, Minnesota DC, is leaving Tim Brewster's new operation to join North Carolina, a move way, way up in the football world considering Withers spent last season weeping drops of pure sorrow watching Minnesota's defense get annihilated. Now he moves on to Butch Davis' rebuild of North Carolina, a team piling up talent and toys to play with a-plenty. Assume Withers, in a past life, was killed randomly by a meteorite or something; only karma can explain the lucky strike. Bomar'd redux: BCS Frenzy says they're going to review the entire 2004 Rivals top 100, and we wish them luck with that. The thing reminding you to remind yourself that recruiting is one very large, overhyped back-alley craps game? Rhett Bomar. Don't do drugs, kids. Because one day you'll be sitting in an apartment with newspaper and tinfoil on the walls, zonked out of your mind and watching Immortal Beloved, and there will be the scene where Beethoven's dad flips out and begins beating the daylights out of him, and like all people doing drugs you'll have music on over the movie, and you'll forever associate the song with the image of a guy whipping a kid's ass like a riot cop pouncing on a legless WTO protester. Your reminiscence of "Gainesville, 1996" is brought to you by a forgotten band of the forgettable decade: Skunk Anansie, and their really frightening lead singer. |
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Nobobdy thursts a pom-pom at me like that!!!!!!!!………….Bitch.
by Big & Rich Brooks on Feb 19, 2008 9:10 AM EST reply actions
Would any columnist be whining about the off the field incidents if Tennessee weren’t ten years removed from their last SEC title? I think not. At least be honest about motives for wanting a guy fired.
Also, basketball fans deserve a good ass-beating in many, many cases.
by Biggus Rickus on Feb 19, 2008 9:23 AM EST reply actions
It is spelled M-E-M-P-H-I-S. Please don’t forget this next time you make a sign that will be seen nationwide.
by TimyTerryTaterTot on Feb 19, 2008 9:29 AM EST reply actions
People weren’t calling for Mac Brown’s head last year because he was one year removed from a MNC. Texas had something like 10+ arrests in 18 months after the Rose Bowl.
All that counts in this business is winning and losing. And that’s kinda sad.
by ThreenOut on Feb 19, 2008 9:30 AM EST reply actions
That sign could only be better if it said “gurls.”
(or “girlz”)
by NRBQ on Feb 19, 2008 9:43 AM EST reply actions
So much going on in that picture.
For example, we see law enforcement turning a blind eye to the violence that young males of the other race are committing against each other.
by PW on Feb 19, 2008 9:44 AM EST reply actions
In addition to poking Vol Nation with a sharp (but green and bendy) stick, Adams attributes the Fulmer Cup to the site that stole your idea. Nice fact checking, there.
by The Conscience of a Nation on Feb 19, 2008 9:48 AM EST reply actions
Notice that the guy is wearing what could be an orange prison jumpsuit, too.
by Orson Swindle on Feb 19, 2008 9:50 AM EST reply actions
Here’s a bigger post-slap picture. Countless birds being flipped, a girl with a fake black eye, and a great look on jumpsuit guy.
http://media.commercialappeal.com/mca/content/img/photos/2008/02/17/mwmem12.jpg
by jakldawg on Feb 19, 2008 9:53 AM EST reply actions
Oh man. That’s so much better. Does the black eye girl’s shirt say, “I dated Bozo?” Also, it’s written in marker. Maybe she’s related to that WVU fan who totally burned Rodriguez.
by Biggus Rickus on Feb 19, 2008 9:57 AM EST reply actions
That’s a damn work of art right there. Like Bosch meets Hogarth meets Wal Mart.
by Orson Swindle on Feb 19, 2008 9:58 AM EST reply actions
Orson: I believe the gentleman’s original intent was to subtly imply that the Memphis players are all headed for the big house eventually (see also the “I dated Dozier chick”), and the Memphis player then effectively demonstrated what would happen to Wonder Bread if he ever ends up in prison.
by jakldawg on Feb 19, 2008 9:59 AM EST reply actions
Ah, now I understand the purpose of all that shit about beating women. Guess it would have helped if I knew anything about Memphis basketball.
by Biggus Rickus on Feb 19, 2008 10:03 AM EST reply actions
I was expecting “because there’ll be fewer for me” after the final headline.
by OhioDawg on Feb 19, 2008 10:06 AM EST reply actions
Damn. I thought I was the first one to post about the sign misspelling, then Orson pulled the ol’ post numbering shuffle and now I look like a Johnny Come Lately.
Anyway, nice work, Johnny Douche, and thanks for the PSA, TimyTerryTaterTot.
by PW on Feb 19, 2008 10:07 AM EST reply actions
You can’t reference WTO protesters gettting pummeled without links. Ignorant neo-hippies gots it coming to ’em.
by Chg on Feb 19, 2008 10:16 AM EST reply actions
orange jumpsuit guy needs a bottle of rum in his hand and an eyepatch to complete the ARRRRRRR! pirate look
by PW on Feb 19, 2008 10:20 AM EST reply actions
that pic needs the girl with the “Dorsey’s Girlfriend” shirt and the painted on black-eye
without her, the class of the crowd can not truly be captured.
by Jerkwheat on Feb 19, 2008 10:22 AM EST reply actions
That Loser With Socks post makes like a bunch of Republicans rallying around GW Bush. Not to get too political, but that post was downright creepy in its fascism and [Tennessee] nationalism.
by History_Ant on Feb 19, 2008 10:27 AM EST reply actions
Better sign:
Q: What do you tell a woman with two black eyes?
A: Nothing Dozier hasn’t already told her twice.
by Biggus Rickus on Feb 19, 2008 10:29 AM EST reply actions
#21…I think they’ve all got a little Captain in ’em…
by sb on Feb 19, 2008 10:32 AM EST reply actions
Bomar isn’t really a good case for saying recruiting’s all a crap shoot. If it wasn’t for the off-field shenanigans, he’d probably be getting drafted this year somewhere in the first two rounds.
by Mike on Feb 19, 2008 11:03 AM EST reply actions
I’m just glad the Commercial Appeal is now uploading pornography to the internet. At least that’s why the office filter service just told me.
by Tater Salad on Feb 19, 2008 11:10 AM EST reply actions
The po-po has a Wanda Sykes thing going in pic #2. That,or a Clay Davis “sheeeeeiiit” look.
by sonofsamford on Feb 19, 2008 11:23 AM EST reply actions
At the exact same time Adams was on the radio this morning telling a Nick Saban story about how he kicked a starter off his team at LSU one time, a story on Nick’s Alabama team is on the wires about a player being involved in first-degree armed robbery. Credibility, buh bye! With UT at least it’s just a bunch of college kids getting drunk, which apparently only happens in Knoxville, and is entirely the fault of Phillip Fulmer.
by etsuVol on Feb 19, 2008 11:24 AM EST reply actions
#30
Apparently there are two things that are unique to UT student athletes:
1. They are the only ones that get drunk and this is a well known fact as you stated.
2. They (or you) don’t understand the terms tongue-in-cheek, farce, satire, irony – which is odd because I sensed you tried to use sarcasism in your comment.
by sir Walter Scott on Feb 19, 2008 12:49 PM EST reply actions
@ #23
I was more disturbed that they quote the band jackal.
The chainsaw guy had to have blackmail material on someone to get that crap band a set at Woodstock ’96.
by Will (the other one) on Feb 19, 2008 1:44 PM EST reply actions
I’m giving them the benefit of the doubt on the “Mempis” spelling. I’m guessing this was spelled incorrectly on purpose. Too naive?
Also, the “I dated Dozier” gal just over the shoulder of said Dozier staring right at her is just a classic shot. Those Blazers are a crazy lot!
by Bama93 on Feb 19, 2008 2:43 PM EST reply actions
Sarcasism??? Where exactly does sarcasism fall in with tongue-in-cheek, farce, satire and irony. My f*cking Funk and Wagnals doesn’t recognize sarcasism. But then, there’s a lot it doesn’t recognize. Such is life.
by citiesaregreat on Feb 19, 2008 7:44 PM EST reply actions
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