COACHES SHILLING: TUBERVILLE’S GOLDEN GLOBE
Credit goes to two people for this find: commenter hunglikehussain, and the Auburner, who went to the trouble of capturing Tommy Tuberville’s epic performance in a Golden Flake commercial that suggests Auburn football players run fast because someone is beckoning them towards an open bag of Golden Flake potato chips. (For the record: in certain cases, we believe this could be completely true, as in the case of Kenny or David Irons.)
Mesmerizing! Tommy Tuberville doesn’t even have to be in the same moment and place to hypnotize you with a bag of potato chips: all he need do is call, and you will hear his plea from across space and time.
P.S. Just because we’re having fun with Sir Charles today over at the Sporting Blog, a few Auburn relevant quotes from barkleyquotes.com that should convince you not only that Charles is one of the great bon vivants of our time, but also confirm any and all stereotypes about SEC and Auburn athletes and academics:
“When I was recruited at Auburn [university], they took me to a strip joint. When I saw those titties on Buffy, I knew that Auburn met my academic requirements.”
Those titties. An area of study no young male college student can fail to appreciate.
Loading ...
1
MiseanAuFan says:
“(For the record: in certain cases, we believe this could be completely true, as in the case of Kenny or David Irons.)”
I hear it only works on Kenny if you tell him that there’s a midget in the bag.
February 19th, 2008 at 3:04 pm
2
Xaryn says:
Personally, the hip gyration and come-hither eyes are a bit disturbing to me. Not sure of what to make of a man making those moves and holding a bag of chips….
February 19th, 2008 at 3:09 pm
3
yoyofutbawl says:
Who the hell does he think he is?
“Charlie, let’s have some Golden Flake chips and a cold Coca-Cola to wash em down. ”
This is scacrilege. Bear is turning over in his grave.
February 19th, 2008 at 3:14 pm
4
TIGERinATL says:
War Eagle, Charles.
February 19th, 2008 at 3:15 pm
5
TIGERinATL says:
#3 – You know AU coaches have been endorsing GF/Coke almost as far back as bear was, right?
The real difference is that the bammers actually believed the endorsment was God’s way of telling them to have chips and coke for every meal.
February 19th, 2008 at 3:20 pm
6
hunglikehussain says:
The secret for ESS EEE SEE speed has finally been revealed.
February 19th, 2008 at 3:20 pm
7
sb says:
O. you must clarify that while the commercial is broadcast in the second dimension, and space/time is a third dimensional construct, the effectiveness of the summons to the bag o’ chips may be diminished dependent on the vibrational sensitivity of the receiver…obviously works for aubrin…
February 19th, 2008 at 3:20 pm
8
TIGERinATL says:
AND…. there is no more appropriate add for the way this post ended than the ass in the pink bikini. Thank you random interweb gods!
February 19th, 2008 at 3:22 pm
9
reb pup says:
#3 – i think that would be “Co-Cola”
February 19th, 2008 at 3:25 pm
10
Wregl says:
GF chips are great fuel for chop blocking your ass. Tubs gave Ramsey and Ziemba some Sweat Heat after the Dorsey take down. Bitch
February 19th, 2008 at 3:29 pm
11
ThreenOut says:
#8 don’t forget. it shakes too. that’s like awesome x10
February 19th, 2008 at 3:29 pm
12
haybeav says:
Funny, because I could have sworn that the reason the Auburn player was running so fast was because of the police K9 trying to get a taste of his arm
February 19th, 2008 at 3:30 pm
13
mp says:
AU is a fucking embarasment
February 19th, 2008 at 3:38 pm
14
sonofsamford says:
Tubby’s best work is in the Bryan Apocalypse Now hot dog commmercial.
“I love the smell of tailgating in the morning. Smells like Vicktree.”
February 19th, 2008 at 3:39 pm
15
Greenie says:
Tubs enticing players with free chips????
IMPROPER BENEFITS!!! NCAA VIOLATION!!
Cut the scholarships! Bowl ban! No TV!!
February 19th, 2008 at 3:50 pm
16
Wregl says:
#13 cant spell. how embaRRaSSing
February 19th, 2008 at 3:59 pm
17
Brian O'Blivion says:
AU is a fucking embarasment
This gets the unintentionally funny award for the day.
February 19th, 2008 at 4:01 pm
18
mp says:
embarrasment…sorry the college I went to didn’t have fucking typing classes for credit
February 19th, 2008 at 4:04 pm
19
Wes says:
your a fucking embarrasment for using your own joke to make YOU look like a fucking embarrasment. haha what a dumbass, you must be a Bama fan.
February 19th, 2008 at 4:09 pm
20
Wregl says:
you still missed it buddy. add you another S in there, then make the shape of an L with your left hand, and lift it to your forehead.
February 19th, 2008 at 4:10 pm
21
TIGERinATL says:
Still short one “S” there, sparky.
If Sa6an knew, he would be so disappointed.
February 19th, 2008 at 4:10 pm
22
Wregl says:
#17 – we will chop block your ass for being an idiot. you even missed it the 2nd time after I typed it correctly for you
February 19th, 2008 at 4:14 pm
23
Brian O'Blivion says:
Wow…I’m not a fan of either team, but that is funny right there.
February 19th, 2008 at 4:15 pm
24
Wes says:
And I’M a fucking embarrassment for misspelling it, also. I was too busy running after some Dill Pickle Golden Flake chips strategically positioned in the left corner end-zone of Jordan-Hare Stadium.
February 19th, 2008 at 4:15 pm
25
Last Dragon says:
I think he was running so fast to avoid being chop blocked by his own lineman.
Someone had to do it. Might as well be me……..
February 19th, 2008 at 4:20 pm
26
TIGERinATL says:
Is this thread in a time warp or something?
February 19th, 2008 at 4:32 pm
27
Brian O'Blivion says:
26 – Whenever someone new starts posting, the EDSBS gods have to flip the switch to let their posts through, and that throws off the numbers and such.
February 19th, 2008 at 4:39 pm
28
Tater Salad says:
How many Bama and Auburn fans does it take to spell
“embarrassment”
February 19th, 2008 at 4:40 pm
29
spartanmike says:
Barkley is right…killing a million men in hand to hand combat is just not that easy. Don’t mess with the Chinese.
February 19th, 2008 at 4:51 pm
30
Wes says:
like 8 fans or so….or 100 Charles Barclay’s
February 19th, 2008 at 4:51 pm
31
Kernel says:
I keep trying to come up with something funny to say about this video, but it’s so disturbingly hilarious on it’s own, I cannot add to it’s legend.
February 19th, 2008 at 4:53 pm
32
MiseanAuFan says:
“This is scacrilege. Bear is turning over in his grave.”
I think he’s turning over more due to the fact that one may not purchase Coca-Cola products in Bryant-Denny Stadium.
February 19th, 2008 at 4:56 pm
33
TIGERinATL says:
#27 – Thanks.
I thought Wregl was posting from the LOST island or something.
February 19th, 2008 at 5:00 pm
34
Wes says:
Or maybe the fact that Alabama can’t beat Auburn in the stadium for which he is named. That or Golden Flakes and Cokes, you know, either one.
February 19th, 2008 at 5:00 pm
35
Britney Nipple Slip says:
Wes, #19, as long as we’re going to get picky, it’s “you’re” not “your”, dumbass. You get the runner-up unintentionally funny award for the day
February 19th, 2008 at 5:01 pm
36
MiseanAuFan says:
“AU is a fucking embarasment”
(I believe in certain internet circles this is called “selfing”)
::Pulls out pellet pistol:::
“Give me all of your $26!”
February 19th, 2008 at 5:01 pm
37
Wregl says:
yeh, who drinks beam and pepsi?
well im sure if there is alcohol in it, the bear would drink it
but then again, i guess most bammers are used to drinking beam and RC cola. i bet Mr Elder held those people at gunpoint for $26 worht of RC Cola to put in his drink
February 19th, 2008 at 5:03 pm
38
Wregl says:
worth
February 19th, 2008 at 5:04 pm
39
the croominator says:
A good source for ads with Alabama/Auburn coaches: YellaWood!
http://www.greatsouthernwood.com/video/index.aspx
February 19th, 2008 at 5:41 pm
40
SpookyJuice says:
Fuck sake….what the hell is going on in this thread?
February 19th, 2008 at 5:53 pm
41
sonofsamford says:
Thanks for that link, Croominator. I had been looking on the Youtubes for the Pat Dye fence commercial and feared it had been lost.
“Reggin dey lemme keep dis?”
February 19th, 2008 at 6:03 pm
42
Wes says:
Britney @ 35 As long as we are getting picky, your a stupid bitch.
February 19th, 2008 at 6:39 pm
43
MIke says:
Nick Saban doesn’t have time to sell your shit.
February 19th, 2008 at 6:46 pm
44
Beef says:
Wes, for Jebus’ sake, stop the madness and buy a fucking apostrophe.
February 19th, 2008 at 7:35 pm
45
DonkeyDawg says:
I’m catching up with this thread, having spent the day, y’know, working and stuff, but Glory Be, it’s perhaps the one subject in the history of sports blogging on which I am, improbably, an expert.
Way back in the day, for a year or so off and on, I was personally responsible for creating every single Golden Flake Cheese Twist on the planet. It was at a subcontracting plant in Decatur, Georgia, which was a living illustration of William Blake’s construct of “dark, satanic mills.” And I generally assumed our products were being produced for markets in various third world hells, until one Sunday afternoon, when I happened upon the Bear Bryant Show, sponsored by none other than Golden Flake, and witnessed the Bear Himself consuming the fruits of my labor. As a Georgia fan, I had a brief moment of remorse for failing to dump a pack of cigarettes into the particular batch of greasy cheese and whey that coated Bryant’s treats, but I got over it.
So now, more than thirty years later, I learn that Auburn is Golden Flake Country. Are there no constants in this life? Has Golden Flake been taken over by some godless multinational corporation, which somehow has managed to pay its Urdu-speaking workers less than I earned? Is Tubby’s Golden Flake endorsement deal the latest twist in the Bama/Auburn rivalry, and how did it affect the 2008 recruiting season?
The mind reels.
February 19th, 2008 at 7:48 pm
46
Cam says:
You know, I thought the comments section was supposed to be for witty discourse on the topic at hand. Not for a bunch of uppity barners to grammatically nitpick at posts because they are incapable of forming an intelligent response. (though the one guy initially burning himself was funny)
However, I’m not here to pick a fight. What IS important:
If you followed the sporting blog link you would have caught that Charles Barkley is going to run for governor of Alabama in 2014.
How f-ing awesome is that? We could have 8 whole years of Barkley all to ourselves. The potential for awesomeness is unfathomable, and let’s face it there’s no way he could possibly worst than our current or previous governors. I wish I could vote for him now. Twice.
February 19th, 2008 at 8:21 pm
47
hunglikehussain says:
@45
Donkeydawg, your concerns are not without merit. Quoting Upton Sinclair….
“It is difficult to get a man to understand something when his salary depends on him not understanding it”
Munchers of the world UNITE! The winds of change are blowing in Alabama! Sour cream and onion, cheddar cheese and BBQ flavors that were once the providence of the bourgeoisie, denied to the agrarian proletariat, are now the exclusive opiate of the chosen Opelikians. Fight on brave and noble warrior.
February 19th, 2008 at 8:54 pm
48
NewAZTiger says:
#3, the Bear would be rolling over in his grave if I didn’t dig his old butt up last night and chop-block him. Now, he’s just wincing in his grave, with a torn ACL to boot.
February 19th, 2008 at 9:26 pm
49
DC Trojan says:
Orson ends the post with a Charles Barkley softball about titties, and the majority of comments are about gold flake and spelling-related insults?
Full points though to those who tried mentioning chop-blocking and that rainbow coalition police dog.
February 19th, 2008 at 9:52 pm
50
Sullivan says:
My favorite Bear Bryant commercial? On the Bear Bryant Show after Auburn beat them in the “Punt Bama Punt” game. (In a disgusted low throaty growl) “All you people out there, … drink your Co-cola, eat your potato chips….Hell, WE ain’t doin’ nothin!”
Classic Bear. Even he couldn’t spin that one.
War Damn Eagle
February 20th, 2008 at 7:59 am