CURIOUS INDEX, 2/15/08
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Roll Bama Roll responds to Brian Cook’s slam of Alabama’s 4732 scholarship class this year. Many insults are paid to Brian’s hair, but as someone with an NHL-worthy playoff beard right now, we can’t say shit other than Brian is oversimplifying the case a bit (Alabama skoolz, represent!), but he’s not totally wrong here.
And no, that’s no faux-hawk. Our hair just does that. When it’s long, it looks like Doc Brown in his younger days. TAMU mascot Reveille VII is retiring, leaving her duties as Aggie mascot to enjoy the glorious life of a retired dog, licking her privates, sleeping, eating, crapping, and occasionally asking to be stroked. In other words, pretty much the life you’d want to lead, all things being equal. Reveille traveled over 10,000 miles a year around Texas for alumni functions last year. Meaning she got out more than you did, most likely. But you didn’t do it on a leash, so be proud of that. SMQ explains the influence of death on the college football rulebook. Also includes the megafunky but legal trick formation LSU used to baffle DevilGrad tells us to look to UVA to enter the Fulmer Cup sooner rather than later. Why? Bobby Pruett, former Marshall head coach, is unretiring to join the Cavaliers’ staff as defensive coordinator. Finally, if you bury us in this, we vow to come screaming out of hell and kill you with a rocket launcher that shoots rabid wolverines from it.
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51
maskedavenger says:
Steve –
I know you’re rolling – but I will respond to a couple of your “Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor?” type statements.
Appalachian State is I-AA (actually FCS, but whatever) and yes it still stings. During the Lloyd Carr era Michigan signed two JUCOs: (1) Russel Shaw – a WR on the 1997 team; and (2) Austin Panter – a reserve on the current team. As far as prep school kids, there is the matter of one Mr. Fuck Lion, but I think that’s it.
Further, I am not sure I understand the “sour grapes” remark. Certainly it can’t be sour grapes in regard to Alabama v. Michigan. One, we haven’t played since the 2000 Orange Bowl and Michigan won that game. Two, it is not as if Alabama has been dominating college football since then. If Brian’s broadside were against OSU (1-6), USC (two recent Rose Bowl defeats), or a similar team of that nature then fine. But why should Michigan care about Alabama at this time?
Maybe you are alleging SEC/Big Ten sour grapes? Seems like a reach, but ok. To the extent that it matters, while OSU has not done well against the SEC in bowls (0-9), Michigan has done quite well (7-3 and 2-1 versus Bama).
February 15th, 2008 at 2:58 pm
52
TIGERinATL says:
I’d rather have Satan than Dumbo.
Steve, that’s Bama is (as one of your bama brethren puts it) held up as the poster boy for everything wrong with college football.
February 15th, 2008 at 3:00 pm
53
TIGERinATL says:
should read: “that’s why Bama is…
February 15th, 2008 at 3:01 pm
54
Pants McPants says:
Thanks, masked. I was trying to figure out the entire “our school cheats, but it’s irrelelvant because you are only complaining about it because a school from our conference (not us) beat a school from your conference (not you) in a bowl game!”. Needless to say, mapquest wasn’t helping with that shit…
February 15th, 2008 at 3:03 pm
55
Tater Salad says:
Blog fight. Nice Mr. Dorsey.
Let’s just put this thing to bed already.
The SEC will concede the following:
The Big Ten Conference is morally superior to the SEC. The Big Ten does not engage in shady recruiting practices and recruits kids with character. Student athletes, and football players in particular, do not take bullshit classes once in college. In fact, there is a collaborative effort on the part of all Big Ten football players to work together to find a cure for cancer. This, of course, takes time away from practicing, but no matter. Winning isn’t everything, folks. This definitely gives the Big Ten Conference the moral high ground, as SEC players ride around on dubs smoking that dank when they should be in the bullshit classes that were scheduled for them so that they could remain eligible. This, of course, does not matter, as the “tutors” provided to the SEC athletes will most assuredly make sure that the athletes pass.
As part of this agreement, the Big Ten Conference admits that, upon information and belief, its “athletes” could not hold the jock of the Alpha male athletes in the SEC. However, the Big Ten Conference and fans of the schools therein retain the right to claim moral and intellectual superiority over the SEC and fans of teams found in the SEC by virtue of geographical location (i.e. “not in the South”) and by virtue of the pristine nature in which the programs making up the Big Ten Conference are run.
Addendums?
February 15th, 2008 at 3:09 pm
56
Biggus Rickus says:
Pants,
I don’t really care about this argument, but oversigning doesn’t violate any rules and therefore is not “cheating”.
February 15th, 2008 at 3:09 pm
57
maskedavenger says:
Tater –
Why not be pithy? “Big Ten = smart. SEC = fast.” That should about do it.
February 15th, 2008 at 3:12 pm
58
drogue says:
Doesn’t USC recruit and sign 40-50 running backs each year?
February 15th, 2008 at 3:20 pm
59
Pants McPants says:
Biggus- But it’s Bama…I’m sure my statement still applies…
Yes, “oversigning” should have been used there.
And for the record, 13-13 is the record of the SEC vs. the B10 in bowl games over the last decade. If you want to specifically insult my alma mater (OSU) and you are an LSU or UF fan, fine*, but the entire conference crowing is stupid.
(*= the statute of limitations has run out for you Gamecock fans.)
February 15th, 2008 at 3:23 pm
60
Tater Salad says:
masked -
I can’t bill enough time to justify an agreement that short.
February 15th, 2008 at 3:23 pm
61
kleph says:
i’ll say here what i said in the RBR forum, saban is a valid target for this criticism because of the attention his recruiting class recieved.
did i think brian’s way of presenting the issue was fair, much less objective to bama? hell no. but lambasting him for the manner he presented it does nothing to address the points he made in the article.
this is an ongoing problem across the ncaa, i think we can all agree on that. but trading bitchy little program vs program insults doesn’t do a damn bit of good to examine it and come up with answers or insight about it.
brian does some masterful analysis on his site, my boys over at RBR keep me updated on all the nitty gritty about the team i love. seeing the two tearing into each other doesn’t give me a hell of a lot of joy.
February 15th, 2008 at 3:29 pm
62
Pants McPants says:
Sweet Jesus. An emoticon? Did I do that?
I give up. I obviously suck.
February 15th, 2008 at 3:29 pm
63
TIGERinATL says:
Kleph,
Nitty gritty? I thought they just served the kool-aid.
February 15th, 2008 at 3:34 pm
64
Biggus Rickus says:
Pants,
To err is human. No need to beat yourself up. That’s for the rest of us to do, you emoticonning fairy.
February 15th, 2008 at 3:35 pm
65
kleph says:
fear not, TIGERinATL, nothing breaks the bond of hate we share for auburn.
February 15th, 2008 at 3:45 pm
66
poguemahone says:
LOLblogwars.
February 15th, 2008 at 3:54 pm
67
Last Dragon says:
#54 – The 2007 Fulmer Cup standings don’t really support your theory.
February 15th, 2008 at 3:57 pm
68
DevilGrad says:
Sixty-five posts in this thread; ten in the one above it. That y’all care six times as much about some stupid off-season argument than you do about bunda is instructive — frightening, but instructive.
February 15th, 2008 at 4:00 pm
69
the beefy ghost of prop joe says:
#20 “No, Saban is not alone. No, that does not exonerate him for being a douche. Yes, I do take a narrow view of the exploitation of players. I think it’s bad.”
Agreed. Exploitation is bad. Looking forward to RichRod and Co. turning around the graduation rate of players (esp. African-American ones)
February 15th, 2008 at 4:02 pm
70
Shane MacGowan's Teeth says:
“Yes, I do take a narrow view of the exploitation of players. I think it’s bad.” — MgoBoy
I’m sorry. What a complete load of shit. Apparently, such exploitation doesn’t encompass failing to graduate even a simple majority of black football players. I suspect we can anticipate more of your tortured excuses for UM’s exploitaton of black athletes: “Black players are difficult to graduate.”
February 15th, 2008 at 4:05 pm
71
Kanu says:
DevilGrad #67: +1000, you nailed it.
This reminds me of the beyond retarded SEC-PAC10 BlogWars of Summer 2005, and it equally pointless and silly. At moronic as that was, at least people were arguing about, you know, actual football. This is about fucking recruiting, where 1/2 the dudes never become regular players, 1/2 the all world all everything bluechippers turn out to be not very good, and 1/2 the good players on each of our favorite team’s end up being walk ons or not highly regarded HS kids who work their ass off and improve to become good players/stars.
Everyone just Ron Burgundy that shit- agree to disagree- go get laid, and move on.
February 15th, 2008 at 4:32 pm
72
Will (the other one) says:
Ah sports blogs, the only place where fans of a traditionally great team with great history that lost to LOUISANA-MONROE at home taunt fans of a traditionally great team with great history for losing to AppSt.
February 15th, 2008 at 4:46 pm
73
Ltrain says:
“To condense this whole argument into one statement, Bama fans are sick of our school being held up as the poster boy for everything wrong with college football.”
Then your fanbase, collectively, needs to back off holding up your school as the poster boy for everything that is great about college football.
February 15th, 2008 at 5:08 pm
74
MiseanAuFan says:
“Sixty-five posts in this thread; ten in the one above it. That y’all care six times as much about some stupid off-season argument than you do about bunda is instructive — frightening, but instructive.”
You have 4 posts in this thread, and ZERO on the bunda thread- why not use “we” instead of “y’all”?
And while I agree with you in the sense that this thread has so many more posts than the bunda thread is telling to an extent, it is somehwat fallacious to assume that a lack of comments indicatesless interest, when bunda threads typicalyl have such few comments anyway (I’m sure I’m not the only person who just views the bunda threads for the pictures, not to make comments).
February 15th, 2008 at 5:16 pm
75
MiseanAuFan says:
^^I cannot type today
February 15th, 2008 at 5:17 pm
76
Dave says:
It’s clear that this stems from a fundamental difference in opinion on what a school’s scholarship offer to a football player means. I think most schools — Big 10, SEC, wherever — feel that once you offer and the kid accepts, even if he turns out to be a dud you gotta let him keep the scholarship for the four years as long as the grades keep up and there are no citizenship issues. RBR’s (and apparently Alabama’s) position is that an unproductive player — even an underclassman who’s doing everything off the field correctly including keeping his grades up — shouldn’t have that expectation. Here’s what RBR has to say:
START QUOTE:
If you get a scholarship offer to play football, you damn well better produce or someone else is going to take your place. Is that mean? Maybe, but I don’t see you bitching about kids on academic scholarships that lose theirs because they don’t keep their grades up. Produce and contribute, you’ll be fine. Screw around and don’t live up to your end of the bargain, tough, deal with it . . . why is it that you can’t “not offer” an underclassmen another year if he isn’t a contributor to the team? Again, mutual commitment is a two street (asshole), you’re just trying to figure out a way to say cutting a player that can’t even manage to get on the three deep is “illegitimate.”
END QUOTE.
So, at least from RBR’s perspective, the issue that rationale people (and that Orson identified) might identify as providing cover for ‘Bama’s actions — i.e., bad schooling leading to non-qualifying or bad grades — isn’t an issue at all. It’s weights and 40 times.
I won’t comment on whether this is the right attitude. Of course, it seems to be an unbalanced contract in that if that kid wants to play elsewhere, he’s gotta sit out a year. Maybe there should be a rule that if you yank a kid’s scholly just for being unproductive, it should count against the school for 1 year. I dunno.
February 15th, 2008 at 5:30 pm
77
Steve says:
If the argument is about pulling scholarships, than geez, if you look at it in reality, Saban does a better job of it than other coaches. Allow me to explain:
Saban comes in and takes over a program, installing a new offense. Player A is told that he does not fit in this offense and it would be in his best interest to transfer if he wants to see playing time. He tells this to the recruit up front. NEVER ONCE is it mentioned that he is “pulling” his scholarship. Find me one instance where he has ever done this. I’ve give you $100 bucks where he has pulled a player’s scholarship based on his on the field performance.
DickRod goes in and installs a new offense, but doesn’t tell Player B that he won’t play. He keeps him on scholarship for four years, the kid graduates and never plays a down.
In both cases, the kid keeps his scholarship. The only difference, is that one was informed that he would not be playing due to the system or to his lack of skills.
Allow me to put it into a different analogy so you might understand it better:
Two Oncologists have two patients.
Oncologist A tells patient A that he has terminal cancer, and that he has six months to live.
Oncologist B does not inform patient B that he does has very little time to live.
In the case of both of them, they both die at the same time, but one was able to prepare for it emotionally and financially, where as the other is just fucked in the end.
But I’m sure that Michigan let’s everyone who wants to play on the field. Isn’t it a mandate in the Big 10 that you have to let the scrubs play at least one quarter per game? It’s not? Well shit, from the last two BCS championship games it sure looked like that.
February 15th, 2008 at 5:38 pm
78
Last Dragon says:
Steve – you are on a roll today. Scary thing is that I agree with most of your points.
February 15th, 2008 at 5:51 pm
79
Steve says:
I’m just sick of this holier-than-thou bullshit. There is enough hypocrisy in the college football world that we don’t need more people joining on the bandwagon.
I get it. I’m an Alabama fan, my coach is worse than Hitler.
The only difference between me and you (fans of other teams) is that I know and accept that Saban is mean enough to sandpaper a lion’s ass in a phone booth and get away with it, where as everyone else thinks their coaches don’t play these games.
The old joke about NCAA bias is true. FSU gets to “self impose” sanctions against itself, meanwhile they did everything to Alabama short of setting fire to the athletic dorms.
I actually greatly appreciate Orson’s humor on this site, because, while it does concentrate on the SEC and Florida predominantly, he does it without (much) bias. When he does crack a joke about another program, it’s in good humor.
I like Brian Cook’s blog. While it isn’t my favorite, it has some good points. The guy knows football.
But don’t shit on my plate and tell me it’s meatloaf. I don’t post (or read) in any of the Tide forums because it’s filled with a bunch of dumbasses with unrealistic expectations.
Newsflash: Every team has unrealistic fans that are a touch on the crazy side. We have alot more of them in Bama than most places, but we aren’t all like that.
February 15th, 2008 at 6:00 pm
80
Biggus Rickus says:
Steve,
Oddly enough, my shit tastes exactly like meatloaf…or so I’ve been told. Good points. Some coaches are worse than others, but they’re almost all egomaniacs who can get pretty damned nasty if necessary. I don’t have a major problem with Saban per se, but the hype made me want him to fail. It’s the same reason I was elated when the Pats lost.
February 15th, 2008 at 6:19 pm
81
Steve says:
I see. You’re a hater then. Thanks for clarifying that.
“Boy, I just love to see good teams fail. Serves them right!”
Saban hasn’t done a fucking thing that hasn’t been done 100x over by other coaches.
The guy has won every place he’s been, and left them in better shape than when he went there intially. I don’t count the NFL in that, because any asshole that keeps the same players on the team the next year if they don’t fit his system is a lead paint eating dumbass. The NFL isn’t college football. You can create an entire new team from year to year if you want.
I think it’s just the combination of Saban and Alabama that creates the hate. Nothing like the great fear of a good coach and an arrogant fan base to make others hate you. I’ve never liked Miami because of the thug culture they embrace, but that’s just me. I don’t root for them, or Randy Shannon, to fail though.
The fact that 25% of the programs oversigned, several programs oversigned the same or MORE than Alabama did, and the fact that they are only jumping on Saban/Bama for doing it shows the hypocrisy present in CFB blogs/media, and the bias against anything that is Bama.
February 15th, 2008 at 7:34 pm
82
Mr Pelican Pants says:
The fact is….Saban knows what the fuck he is doing….he IS gonna run off some douchebags to make room for the better incoming players, and will grayshirt some players…..he has done it before with much success, this is no different…..didnt know Michigan fans gave 2 shits one way or another
February 15th, 2008 at 8:12 pm
83
Biggus Rickus says:
Steve,
You guys have the arrogant fanbase part down pat. The good team? Well it’s been a little while. And fear? Please. Georgia plays Alabama four out of every ten years. The last three pairs of games have involved a different Bama coach. I do hate arrogant fans though, even when they’re wearing the same colors I do. Even worse is fawning media coverage. I hated it in the case of Weis, Meyer, Tebow, the Patriots and Saban. After hearing hyperbole for a while I want failure to be as complete as possible. I still don’t let it cloud my judgement. I figured Meyer was mildly overrated, Tebow would do well, Weis was grossly overhyped, the Pats would win, and Saban will go the way of the last few Bama saviors. As for Saban winning everywhere, he had one good season at Toledo before leaving for MSU, where he was roughly .500 until his 9-2 season, after which he left for LSU. He had one great, one very good, one good, and two average seasons before he left. And he had a fairly crappy year in his first year at Bama. Their defense had personnel issues, but a lot of the same players returned from a 6-7 team and he coached them up to 7-6 with probably the most embarrassing loss in a quarter century mixed in. If anyone actually fears Saban, they’re retarded.
February 15th, 2008 at 8:32 pm
84
Crabapple Buck says:
At least the whole college football world now knows what we put up with from the sanctimonious, holier than thou, arrogant fucks from the school up north.
February 15th, 2008 at 8:56 pm
85
gerry dorsey says:
“didnt know Michigan fans gave 2 shits one way or another
“
ding, ding, ding!!!
pelican pants wins. this is the biggest mystery of this entire blogosphere meltdown.
February 15th, 2008 at 9:12 pm
86
Steve says:
Biggus,
You’re right. Alabama is over with. Done. Kaput. I don’t know why we even play the games. We should probably just forfeit the upcoming season and not schedule any games after that.
It’s funny though, our no-talent team coached by whom you feel is not worthy of being the water boy on your team certainly took your “national championship caliber” team to overtime. It’s a shame that you guys can barely beat a team that lost to U-La-Mo.
I mean, fuck, how do you expect people to take you guys seriously?
February 16th, 2008 at 12:25 am
87
Mr Pelican Pants says:
Biggus,
I’ll say this…..this is your year to win it all or blow it for Georgia….good QB, great RB, should be a solid Defense…..all us Bama fans are saying is that there will be a change, just like the former Worlds Largest Cocktail Party used to be the annual Georgia beatdown, Richt got some great recruits-Knowshown in particular, and it made a big difference once yall hit ya stride…we too picked up some talent and hope it will have an immediate effect , like a Tebow or a Harvin, we are hoping to have at least 3 or 4 contributors that can step up….if Saban sucked so bad, he’d only get Vandy money….My money is on Saban touching the crystal again before Tubbs even gets close. Any SEC team that wins the SEC title will have to face tOSU , and that my friends is a gimme MNC game ……..
February 16th, 2008 at 1:13 am
88
JohnInHuntsville says:
Hate is ……………. warmth.
February 16th, 2008 at 2:27 am
89
Hokie Andrew says:
Beating Pruett’s ass when he was coaching Marshall was fun. Doing it while he’s a coach at UVA will be funtastic. Boo Hoos. Boo.
February 16th, 2008 at 10:32 am
90
Biggus Rickus says:
Steve,
I didn’t actually say any of those things, but hey! Straw men are fun!
Mr. Pelican,
I never said Saban sucked, just pointing out that he isn’t God’s gift to coaching. I also don’t expect Georgia to win the national title. There’s a chance, but there’s way too much outside of their control and too many other good teams in the SEC for me to assume it’ll happen. I’ll be content with an SEC title in one of the next two years.
February 16th, 2008 at 12:31 pm
91
Mr Pelican Pants says:
Biggus,
My view on Saban is that he is a better overall coach than Shula or Tubbs. I look at the amount of time a mans been coaching and look at titles and championships he has garnered as a HC, and Saban is a lil better than Tubbs, even though Tubs head to head has him 4-2, with his wins coming at his house… I dont think he is Gods gift to coaching either, just a man with a method of coaching that has seen success with his “process” with his style of players….As a Bama fan, didnt expect him to get ALL the good talent in-state his first full yr of recruiting, but glad to see his style of players are 4/5 star types that seem to buy in to his recruitment, and I’m hoping he can follow it up next year to get some depth, where when one part of the machine gets hurt or suspended ( with high strung ego-maniacal 18-22 yrs olds football players, someone will always be in the dog house with Saban or the law—-ask Jimmy Johns about the Saban part) , there is no noticeable fall off in perfomance, a luxury we didnt have when we had both suspensions and injuries on offense and defense, which cost us some bonehead games down the stretch….I dont think as long as JPW is involved, we will compete for much of anything, maybe 8-5 next yr……..an outstanding QB is what we will need for us to turn the corner and I dont know who that is gonna be…maybe the Clemson game will be a big time wakeup call….I think in the ACC- Clemson’s the team to beat, the SEC-Georgia/Florida,maybe Auburn without Brandon Cox as QB, cant say Alabama since Saban made it clear JPW is the man this year, and no matter how much talent we picked up, they cant compensate for his 4th quarter snafu’s that seem to happen when the game is on the line, maybe he can redeem himself like Eli Manning did this year with the Giants…….Big 10-tFightin Redacti or tOSU as usual with their waltz to their annual MNC beatdown…Big 12- Oklahoma til they get waxed again in a bowl game……….Big East-WF’nV–curious to see how good the “Jumper” offense will be with Pat White and Noel Devine bending time/speed continium, they simply snap the ball and “poof” one “jumps” to the endzone, like the movie……PAC-10……USCw with Joe McKnight getting off this year…..I hate the offseason, this place is like a strip club at noon on Monday
February 16th, 2008 at 1:29 pm
92
Biggus Rickus says:
MPP,
That’s pretty reasonable. I’m not sure about him being an all-around better coach than Tuberville. He’s a better recruiter, but for game prep I’d go with Tubby. Which one is more important depends on how much better a recruiter Saban is. This year would indicate that he’s much better. On the other hand it’s one year, and being able to offer playing time is a big bonus on the recruiting trail if you’re at a renowned program. But even if Saban does build up Alabama, he still has to deal with LSU on a yearly basis, Georgia and Florida semi-regularly and an Arkansas program that may actually be in capable hands. And that’s leaving aside Auburn and Tennessee (who seems to be waning with all of the coaching departures).
February 16th, 2008 at 1:49 pm
93
Nick says:
Did anybody notice in the text of the funeral article the sentence, “Blacks are very traditional in their funeral practice?” Where did that come from?
February 16th, 2008 at 2:12 pm
94
k00laid says:
Really, Devil Grad made reference to Bobby P’s return to college coaching in a negative light? A Cryami guy? Really?
February 17th, 2008 at 1:56 am
95
TheJoker says:
For the most part, Michigan fans highly resemble Alabama Polytechnic Fans; the vast majority drive of them a jacked-up truck… The vast majority are all obese… The vast majority enjoy kicking back, drinking beer, and “throwing down” at local rodeos… And of course, they talk reeeeeaaaalllllllll sllllllooooowwwwww.
Who cares, anyway? Richer Rod will only add insult to injury as a head coach of the amazing Maze and Blue.
img122.imageshack.us/ img122/69/bo7ny.jpg
February 17th, 2008 at 5:43 pm
96
Big Ern says:
TIME TO ADD SOME MORE FULMER CUP POINTS TO TENNESSEE!!!!!
http://tennessee.rivals.com/content.asp?CID=775542
And this is the PUNTER, let me mind you (albeit, he is a damn good punter who the Florida fans won’t mind being suspended for their matchup).
“When the fat man says its time to dance, its time to dance!!!”
February 18th, 2008 at 12:38 am
97
kevin says:
Bama fans are unbelievable with their defense of saban and the sec’s practice of signing 30 guys a year. I’m sure they can even find a way to defend bama’s 44 percent graduation rate as well.
February 18th, 2008 at 6:47 am
98
Not the mama says:
Don’t forget he lied to those ESPN reporters about not leaving the Dolphins to coach at Alabama. Outright lied. Knew he was going to, and said he wasn’t. I hate him SO much. Roll Tide.
February 18th, 2008 at 9:35 am
99
Steve says:
Sure, he could have just said, midway through the season, that he was going to take the Alabama job.
Do you wear a helmet and drool alot? People who still bring this up are real dumbasses. Seriously.
February 18th, 2008 at 12:09 pm
100
Not the mama says:
Actually Steve, I am an Alabama fan. I think I have an understanding of Coach Saban’s comments to the media “in context”. Same with a fairly comprehensive understanding of the dynamics of the 2008 Alabama recruiting class. That’s why I am not compelled to argue with anyone that chooses to believe that he lied to them or that he somehow lied to one or more recruits. How could anyone argue with “snake oil salesman”?
I do wear a helmet and drool a lot though…
February 18th, 2008 at 12:22 pm