MALLETT APPEALS TRANSFER PENALTY
I’m so hood: MallettYou know what I was thinking?
I’m never gonna pay taxes. Never, man. Look at Wesley Snipes. Blade made like a zillion dollars, didn’t even file a tax return for years, and then when the IRS came after him beat the rap like he was back in Passenger 57. Hell yes, I’m betting on the black–as in Ryan Mallett, professional athlete, being in the black when he doesn’t have to pay all those taxes to the asshole IRS. That’s totally what I’m gonna do.
You know what else? I’m parking in that handicapped space. Like the crippled don’t need exercise, too? Have you been to a casino lately? Cripples are fat, dude. They need some PT, if all the fatties I saw rolling in and out of the Golden Nugget are any indication of cripple buffness levels.
I’m also not using my turn signal. You know what turn signals are? They’re Total Pussy Alarm Indicators, as in “Hey, total pussy coming through?” That’s why you have brakes, man: to let awesome drivers like me over. Otherwise, you might as well drive blindfolded, right? Idiots.
Oh, and that whole “wait a year before you play after a transfer” bullshit? Yeah, up your ass with that. I mean, I’m in Arkansas now. That’s not even in the same country at Michigan, because Michigan is in Canada. Everyone knows that.
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1
Allahver Fist says:
Homeboy just wants to play while Petrino’s still coaching there. For that reason alone it should be a slam dunk.
February 6th, 2008 at 12:15 pm
2
CAJason80 says:
Parking in the handicapped spaces?
Ryan Mallett and Cade McNown need to stop hanging out.
February 6th, 2008 at 12:16 pm
3
Jerkwheat says:
As a native Arkansan who went to college in Michigan, I agree with Mr. Mallett’s sentiment that Michigan is, in fact, Canada.
However, as a Razorback fan, I appreciate the effort to get the year off waived but I also realize it would set a precedent that could bite a lot of folks in the ass in the future.
February 6th, 2008 at 12:18 pm
4
Adam says:
I wonder if they’ll take into account the fact that the new Michigan coach said on ESPN he didn’t want Mallett’s ass there anymore… nah.
February 6th, 2008 at 12:27 pm
5
Michigan Gator says:
Ryan Mallett is an asshat
February 6th, 2008 at 12:27 pm
6
Anon says:
wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong. Canada is a part of Michigan, not the other way around. In fact, it’s a suburb of Detroit.
Duh.
February 6th, 2008 at 12:28 pm
7
Your Mom Loves LSU says:
R-Kansas is technically a 4th world country so I can understand el Douche’s request.
February 6th, 2008 at 12:58 pm
8
big 11th blog says:
this is one of the best posts i’ve read in a long time. awesome.
http://thebigeleventh.blogspot.com/
February 6th, 2008 at 1:42 pm
9
Jthomas666 says:
Let’s face it. The only reason Arkansas is pushing this is because they have Dick at QB.
February 6th, 2008 at 3:10 pm
10
yoyofutbawl says:
And Dick lost both his Nutts, making him impotent.
February 6th, 2008 at 3:34 pm
11
ThreenOut says:
http://threenout.blogspot.com/2008/02/in-middle-of-all-recruiting-news.html
I’m shameless self hoing. What can I say?
February 6th, 2008 at 3:43 pm
12
Dash says:
Not that it matters, but I feel for the kid. You think you are going to a school known for classic drop back pocket quarterbacks and then all of a sudden you are trapped on a team that uses a wideout at your position. I feel his pain but he is going to have to sit like everyone else.
February 6th, 2008 at 5:02 pm
13
UMSofla says:
See a video of recruit Justin Feagin from South Florida
http://www.palmbeachpost.com/news/mplayer/pbpost sports/61775
February 6th, 2008 at 9:26 pm
14
Noah says:
Dash, did you watch Henne in the Capital One Bowl? Best game of his career, from a passing-based spread the whole game. And he’s less mobile than Mallett.
February 7th, 2008 at 5:24 am
15
jlichty says:
Well said Noah – Mallett sallied out. He could have put up excellent numbers out of a shotgun read spread.
Did RR chase him out the door for a shot at Pryor?
From Mallett’s quotes after he left it does not sound like it, it was more like – he says he can adapt the offense for me, but I don’t believe him because its a OMG SPREAD and Pat White is not me.
Mallett wanted to leave Michigan the second he walked on campus, and this was a pretext.
If the NCAA lets him have another year it will basically a Terrell Owens show of free agents every year when a new coach comes in.
Mallett had to know that Lloyd was not long for the coaching world, but Lloyd may have convinced him that DeBord or Loeffler would be the next coach. Okay, can undersand how the ninja offense might have taken him by surprise, but I think Mallett will regret it after watching Threet have success in the system next year. Get the ball to fast guys in space and let them pad your passing stats. Mallett is ten times the talent Shaun King is. I have very little sympathy for the guy.
February 7th, 2008 at 11:58 am
16
md1964 says:
Michigan is Half Canada / Half terrorist nation. Jeez.. there are more Burkas and 6 AM Prayer calls there than in Saudi Arabia.
February 12th, 2008 at 2:56 pm