Join us for EDSBS Live tonight at 7 p.m. E.S.T. for our special signing day edition. Among the questions and topics of interest we’ll be discussing:

–Pete Carroll, Wii Champion? Working on his charitable organization at 2:00 a.m.? Waking to the Who and playing Christmas songs in the office? Do you wonder if Pete Carroll has an Achilles heel as a person being and spirit? Oh, yes, we forgot. He can’t coach in the pros. And doesn’t he look miserable for it!

–Alabama claims Rivals’ national recruiting title. Will they claim it as their 56th national title, along with the crowns for Bud Bowl III and their “Hottest Old Lady” trophy claimed for having Sela Ward as an alum?

–Will Urban steal a recruit yet in a very good day for Florida despite the loss of two high-profile studs? And if so, how long can one hold a cloth loaded with chloroform over a mouth without killing the person, because we’re totally helping him do this if a defensive tackle or cornerback is involved, and need to know to avoid a second-degree murder charge.

–Why did Tennessee only sign nine actual prospects and instead stock the rest of their class with guys hastily pulled off janitorial detail?

–Did Notre Dame’s class really add up as the best, and if so, how can Tyrone Willingham be blamed for the success?

–HOW THE FUCK DOES TY WILLINGHAM GET PEOPLE TO PLAY FOOTBALL FOR HIM? ARE DISORIENTING LIGHTS AND SLEEP DEPRIVATION INVOLVED?

–The director of the CIA admitted that they did, in fact, waterboard three detainees. Still, he will not call it torture. Now, whatever Rick Neuheisel does to get recruits? Oh yeah. That’s totally fucking torture, and you can quote me, Senator.

–Where does one plug in a Tom Lemming? In a vault with Mel Kiper, Jim McKay, Phil Liggett, and every other sports personality used exactly once a year?

–Will Sam McGuffie actually sign with Michigan? If so, when will they realize they’ve signed a white running back? A month? Two months?

–Remember that question up there with Willingham? Insert “Tommy Bowden,” repeat.

–Did Miami enlist the services of Luther Campbell to recruit such a stellar class? If not, what would they be if they actually did? (Answer: completely fucking awesome in a thong and a cold martini in hand, that’s what. )

We’ll cover it all tonight. Listen by pressing play on the EDSBS Live Sidebar over on the right thurr.

Hear you then, –Os.

Tebow. Tebow. Tebow. Tebow. Tebow. Tebow. Tebow. Tebow. Tebow. Tebow. Tebow. Tebow. Tebow. Tebow. Tebow. Tebow. Tebow. Tebow. Tebow. Tebow. Tebow. Tebow. Tebow. Tebow. Tebow. Tebow. Tebow. Tebow. Tebow. Tebow. Tebow. Tebow. Tebow. Tebow. Tebow. Tebow. Tebow. Tebow.

Tebow. Tebow!

(HT: Cats and Beer.)

In all the Signing Day hubbub, we shouldn’t forget to note Notre Dame scoring, both because it’s been so rare in the past year or so, and also because if we don’t note it now we’ll have to deal with all the emails saying “You can’t count!” and “Don’t forget our points.” Bloggers make lousy accountants, but let’s go ahead and get to the digits.

Notre Dame tight end Will Yeatman drank like a champion on January 28th but then made the error of driving his own victory chariot, an error noted by the local authorities in the form of a DUI charge, good for two Fulmer Cup points. Yeatman has been suspended indefinitely from the team by coach Charlie Weis. We’re tempted to demand his arrest and the filing of additional charges for this comment, though:

A month ago, Yeatman said that during Notre Dame’s 3-9 football season he had points where he became excited for lacrosse season early.

To be fair, this is extremely unfair quotation going on here: Yeatman also plays for Notre Dame’s lacrosse team, and says he just wanted to find some way to use his talents to make Notre Dame look good in an athletic endeavor. And if we’d had a 3-9 season last year, we’d crave the sweet relief of being hit in the face with a lacrosse ball, too.

Julio Jones, top five recruit overall and the number one WR on most people’s boards, commits to Bama in a low-key announcement without hat-switching or any other such dickheadedness.

Le Film:

Frightening stuff. He’s birth-certificate-check material for parents in the opposing stands, as he really does look like a full-grown dude running against middle-schoolers in a lot of those clips.

I’m so hood: Mallett

You know what I was thinking?

I’m never gonna pay taxes. Never, man. Look at Wesley Snipes. Blade made like a zillion dollars, didn’t even file a tax return for years, and then when the IRS came after him beat the rap like he was back in Passenger 57. Hell yes, I’m betting on the black–as in Ryan Mallett, professional athlete, being in the black when he doesn’t have to pay all those taxes to the asshole IRS. That’s totally what I’m gonna do.

You know what else? I’m parking in that handicapped space. Like the crippled don’t need exercise, too? Have you been to a casino lately? Cripples are fat, dude. They need some PT, if all the fatties I saw rolling in and out of the Golden Nugget are any indication of cripple buffness levels.

I’m also not using my turn signal. You know what turn signals are? They’re Total Pussy Alarm Indicators, as in “Hey, total pussy coming through?” That’s why you have brakes, man: to let awesome drivers like me over. Otherwise, you might as well drive blindfolded, right? Idiots.

Oh, and that whole “wait a year before you play after a transfer” bullshit? Yeah, up your ass with that. I mean, I’m in Arkansas now. That’s not even in the same country at Michigan, because Michigan is in Canada. Everyone knows that.

While we’re churning through the reversals and hat-switching over at the Signing Day blog, consider for a moment what Signing Day really means to all of us: elegantly arranged fraud.

We present the first and possibly last installment of Rantics! (the exclamation point means excitement and irony!) This week’s episode features three minutes of our thoughts on recruiting in general, and is animated by Irishoutsider, who deserves any and all credit for the humor content (?) contained within the piece.

It has profanities, but you knew that already. Exercise proper caution.

(Of course it’s ripped off from Zero Punctuation. Yahtzee is God. The rest of us are just shadows.)