INTERNET CORRELATIVE: ELECTION DAY EDITION

Nutt and Schmuckabee are exactly the same.. both total frauds.

Nice try Orson. We know that isn’t a wig

John Edwards = Mark Richt…

best I could come up with if you compare winning SEC titles to being nominated for VP.

Also, Georgia wins the BCS next season, and Edwards will be nowhere to be found, unless it is to be AG under Hillary if she wins.

Also, Richt likes helping people.

Oh, and Richt and Edwards are both, “pretty.”

John Edwards as Pete Carroll. Both pretty boys with big time success that has run aground. Just like Edwards won a US Senate seat out of nowhere and wound up with the demo VP nomination, Carroll came back to USCw after a failed HC carreer in the pros to win 1.5 National Championships almost right out of the gate. Since then, both have been well-financed but failed in the clutch over the last several years.

Coop, don’t disgrace Richt by associating him w/ Edwards, who is a total douchebag ambulance chaser. Richt deserves better.

Re: Gravel = Orgeron/Leach. Girl, you know it’s true. Probably certifiable, but who cares—they’re too good on TV.

You do us the disservice of comparing noone to Ron Paul?

Paul Johnson = Ron Paul

Old, trusty ideas that are so conservative, they’re considered liberal. Both are ignored by the media, unpopular among the trendy, and will whip your ass into shape the hard way.

I would put Ron Paul under Mike Leach category. Bat **** crazy. Funny. And lots of loyal followers.

Most vocal supporters like sleeping with women, lifting weights, wearing baggy jeans, and have short hair.

Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

Rich Brooks/Ted Stevens thinks this list is bullshit.

Which candidate most strongly resembles decease icon Bear Bryant/Ronald Reagan?

The real Orson Swindle told me he was voting for the McCain/Spurrier ticket. Can’t go against war buddies, thats for damn sure.

14 — More than a war buddy, but a cellmate. They quoted him in a McCain campaign article and I had to do a semi-spit take.

Thompson has to be Phil Fulmer, right? I mean they’re both from Tennessee, and there is a slight resemblance. Plus, I’ve heard that Thompson received payment for lobbyist services in the form of Krispy Kreme gift certificates.

Actually, Tressel’s most vocal supporters’ hair is only short in the front. In the rear, it’s all party.

Judging from Fred’s energy level, we’re not sure Fred and Phil aren’t the same person.

Lorenzo Lamas was in Renegade, not Desperado. Renegade was the absolute pinnacle of awesomedom.

Howard Schnellenberger wants a return to the gold standard.

Gerry Faust or Bob Davie as Walter Mondale or Michael Dukakis?

Ralph Nader = June Jones

Both come out in a big way, make a big splash onto the national scene after sitting quiet for half-decades at a time, fuck up the system and talk of throwing a wrench in the gears of the 2-part-electoral-system/BCS… then lay a big fuckin’ egg on the national stage.

Joe Pa is Ronald Reagan.

both were awesome back in the 80s. both are currently dead.

Knute Rockne = Paul Wellstone?

Bob Davie as Gary Hart. Both looked the part, both were tan year-round and both were abominably stupid. Hart inviting the media to find out dirt on him (Monkey Business) and Davie inviting Ron Powlus back for a fifth season.

WhiteSpeedReceiver— that’s icy, sir.

I keep thinking of Al Gore as Lloyd Carr, but I can’t quite pull out the joke.

Early success as a rising star, run aground by rival for highest office, revived via late victory after being considered long out of it.

Twenty-seven posts before we get to Bobby Bowden = Strom Thurmond? What the hell is wrong with you people this afternoon?

Does George W Bush = Tommy Bowden? Son of an established Family, and for a while there it looked like he might get fired, but now, it seems like he can just coast until the end, finishing out his term having not really accomplished much, possibly setting the whole program back a decade or so.

Lloyd Carr as…

Dick Cheney.

Both are lifelong assistants, Cheney, until Carr gets the HC job because what’s his name wrecks a restaurant job.

But, just as Bush kept Cheney as #2 in the country, Tressel kept Carr at #2 in the Big 10.

Also, both are just so personable.

May Florida be Hillary’s bane just like Tressel and Gore.

Well played, Swindle. Well played.

? = Alan Keyes

Somebody who’s underqualified but overexposed and makes absolutely no sense. Orgeron, perhaps?

Ed Orgeron as Ron Paul:
You want to like the guy, because he has some great ideas. Ed got a job he was woefully underqualified for, as Ron is attempting to do. But the more you listen, you realize he’s fucking crazier than Houston Nutt/Mike Huckabee on meth.

Tommy Tuberville = Wesley Clark

Both with Arkansas ties, both hate Nutt, both weasels.

No, no—Ron Paul is Paul Johnson, the previous commenter’s right. They both are passionate about the best ideas of 1911.

ted kennedy = dennis fucking erickson anyone?

and missouri went out there and won one for the mel-er in 2000 vs john ashcroft.

/voted for the dead guy in 2000

Dennis Kucinich = Terry Bowden

Just too diminutive to be taken seriously…

Dennis Kucinich = Art Briles (who?!?). For those people outside of Waco, he’s the head football coach at Baylor. Struggling for relevance, knowing he has absolutely no shot at winning anything.

Bobby Bowden is clearly Admiral Stockdale (as played by Phil Hartman)

- neither knows where he is
- both have been dead for past 3 years

Ed Orgeron is ManBearPig.

Jessie Jackson = Ed Orgeron

As articulate as ever…and they’re both working somewhere, right?

I’m disappointed, Orson. In the race or not, Fred Thompson/Fat Phil was a must and you forgot. For shame.

Ed Orgeron=Rush Limbaugh. Nobody knows WTF he’s saying; he’s not in the race, but makes plenty of trouble from the sidelines.

It’s beyond argument that Gravel=Coach O. In addition, Mike Gundy is clearly Howard Dean. “I’m a man, I’m 40! I recruit Arkansas, and Michigan, and then over to Kansas, and on the Oklahoma, and thEN TO THE BCS…..AAAHHHHH!”

Bob Stoops = JFK. Both enjoyed achieving the pinnacle of their professions early on in their careers. Then….BANG. The Fiesta Bowl is to Bob Stoops as the Grassy Nole is to JFK (or could Mack Brown be JFK?)

Mike Stoops = Ted Kennedy. Along with being a little (or a lot, depending on your point of view) over-rated, they both like the women. If you lived in Norman, OK in the early ‘00s you know this. But aren’t they already married? Yea, so.

Barry Switzer = Bill Clinton. This should need no explanation whatsoever.

Smellsofbourbon = Ted Kennedy
John Blake = Alan Keyes
Gary Gibbs = Dan Quayle
JC Watts = JC Watts

Tedford bringing the option of “change”?!

Taking your QB out AFTER he started 5 games looking like a mule with 3 legs (2 legs in the 4th quarter) is not very correlative to your analogy.

Nor in 2005 when he started a QB whose arm::where the ball goes ratio was about as predictable as Britney Spears::sanity.

Charlie Weis as Jimmy Carter. Everyone thinks your ready for the big time, then we see you on the job and lose all faith in your ability to guide the team/country. Both gone after four years.

Rudy Guliani = Charlie Weis
Started off pretty strong with a lot of promise, but we now know they are both overrated.

Hilary Clinton as Jimbo Fisher. Main claim to fame & the coveted top job is hanging around the big dog, and if they don’t get that top job, it’s pay-day from the big dog, son.

Mike Huckabee for President of the Confederate States of America!!!!!!

SOOOOOOOOOEEEEEEEEEIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEE

And, BTW, in the speech I just saw Huckabee make on national TV… I’m pretty sure that would be the first time any Presidential candidate pretty much shamelessly pandered to the SEC.

He probably could have shortened the whole thing by holding up a sign that read:

Speed
Equals
Championships

I really wanted the talking heads like Chris Matthews to try to discuss that crap… but they saw a shiny thing in the corner and it distracted them.

Bill Stewart is Gerald Ford…
Assistant to the top guy in the program until the boss fucks up royally over a battle he should have won and quits, then he finds himself in charge.

Mark Mangino is William Taft…
A complete rise out of nowhere, the necessity of customized oversize bathtubs… i’m having trouble finishing this one.

Joe Tiller is Teddy Roosevelt… just look at that mustache.

Mark Richt is British Prime Minister Tony Blair…
You may not always like what he does or how he handles his program, but hes just so likeable it all rolls off in the end

Norm Chow is Arnold Schwarzenegger…
You love theideas and the knowledge they bring to the table, but theyre just foreign enough you dont trust them to run the whole show.

Mark Mangino = William Howard Taft. Yes, this has nothing to do with policy whatsoever…but damn they’re huge.

54- you just beat me with the Taft thought. But, as you can see, I tend to agree. Currently watching Romney, and he’s starting to remind me of Terry Bowden in the sense that I want to choke him until he dies. It’s a damn shame, he would be okay for the economy. But he needs a beating just like Baylor or Vandy.

Mike Bellotti is Howard Dean.

Ty Willingham is JC Watts.

Pete Carroll is FDR.

Dennis Erickson is the old Richard Nixon (post “Checkers” speech).

Mike Price is David Vitter.

Rick Neuheisel is JFK.

Jeff Tedford is the young Richard Nixon (pre “Checkers” speech).

Mike Leach is Donald Rumsfeld.

mike leach is curtis lemay.

McCain is apparently Swindle himself…he just dropped a royal we on live TV.

Nick Saban – Vlad Putin -

 Both leaders of a fallen “red” empire. Trying to bring back the glory, much to the dismay of the rest of the free world. Wildly aggressive. Impatient. Slightly frightening.

Both manage to balance charisma and sheer “bomb a random nation” cruelty.

O:

I know that every post brings the inevitable “Best post ever!”, “You’re a God among men”, “I know I’m a dude, but I still want to be your baby’s mama” responses. But, this mixing of football and politics (‘cause football’s not politics, right? I mean… of course it’s not, right?!) has got to be the best post that mixes two irrational genres ever produced. Good job to you, man! I am giving you a raise. (Not really)

who is ron paul?

What if I want to vote for Pete Carroll?!?