THE BIG BOARD: ILLINIWEK WRECKIN’
The Big Board for this week, brought to you by Brian, who is hung like Reggie F’n Nelson.
The new charges, notes, and clarifications:
The Vols pick up two for Faison’s DUI and continue to win the team award: five arrests in total only have them at the eight point mark, meaning they may be kings of the junk bond market, but in points alone they’re trailing due to the spectacular tallies of Missouri and Illinois.
Oregon enters due to the weird charge of “running a drug house,” a charge that must be from the civil code of Oregon or something since we’ve never heard it before. On paper, it merely looks like receiver Derrick Jones was arrested for contempt of court, so for the moment we’ll assess the Ducks with a mere two points. If the charges blossom into something spectacular–JONES HAD LIVE TIGER, WORLD IS MINE NEON FOUNTAIN SCULPTURE IN DRUG MANSION–then we’ll modify. For now, two points it is.
Note that Missouri and Illinois are up there for individual accomplishments, and so may both end up being Ellis T. Jones III candidates for individual achievement, not Fulmer Cup winners.
Filed under: Atlantic Coast Conference, Big 10 Conference, Big 12 Conference, Coaches, the BCS, scandals, arrests, and other eccentri, College football, I be on that kryptonite, Pacific 10 Conference, Southeastern Conference, drankin', guns r cool and we've got guns in our skoolz, i do cocaine! by Orson Swindle
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25
so, If I’m understanding this right, if Illinois or Mizzou can eke out a petty misdemeanor between now and kickoff they will become full-blown Fulmer Cup players?
Comment by Cincy — February 5, 2008 @ 10:49 am
24
Don’t be so hard on the SEC, warcardinal. I look at the big board and see remarkable balance. SEC, B12, B10, Pac10–it’s like a parade of BCS conference goodness.
Welcome to the golden age of college football parity, folks.
Comment by The Dead Eyes of Tom Brady — February 5, 2008 @ 9:02 am
23
Does the coach’s son getting 2 DUI’s, trying to sweep it under the carpet, only to have a reporter find out and write about it, to which said reporter is accosted by coach’s ex-wife and nanny and removed by secruity - count for any points? Or is it a clean slate now that the season is over?
Comment by DUI Belotti — February 5, 2008 @ 1:43 am
22
#13 et al - I avow that I am not Brian of MGoBlog. I’m not witty, nor do I have enough conviction to update a blog that often.
#10 - I mean no offense. In fact, to attempt to avoid offense, I have stuck to a school’s “official” name (aside from [TEAM REDACTED], that is). According to “officiality” it’s still the University of Mississippi. Unless The Big Boss rules otherwise, of course - I know where my meal ticket gets punched.
/taking this week’s paycheck to the bank, woot!
Comment by Brian "Hung like Reggie F'n Nelson" — February 4, 2008 @ 10:31 pm
21
SAS Wiki acknowledges 10 teams in the rankings, based on posts on this blog:
The Top 10:
1: Illinois - 11
2: Missouri - 10
3: FULMER - 8
4: Oklahoma St. - 5
5: Georgia - 4
5: Washington St. - 4
7: Duke - 3
8: Oregon - 2
9: NUTT - 1
9: REDACTED - 1
Comment by Neodoomium — February 4, 2008 @ 8:53 pm
20
O - and the Dookies.
Comment by Brian O'Blivion — February 4, 2008 @ 4:21 pm
19
Corrections:
–We are missing the Torrey Davis points, and will add them in the week-end roundup.
–Ditto for Wazzou’s points.
Comment by Orson Swindle — February 4, 2008 @ 4:12 pm
18
Slipped past me the first time, but did anyone notice that the Missouri arrest included a charge of “possession of an intoxicating liquor.”
Did I miss the Madison Avenue introduction of O Doule’s single malt, George Dickel lite or Etoh-free Belvedere?
Comment by hunglikehussain — February 4, 2008 @ 4:10 pm
17
On the whole, “running a drug house,” it may be no more than having a residence where drugs are found, not necessarily that there was dealing. Here in (Cr)akron, Ohio, it’s called Occupying a Drug Premises, which results in a citation, but no arrest. You get a fine when you come to court, or a jailable contempt when you get stoned and forget to show up. Of course, I always that it was required that residents of Eugene smoke weed.
Comment by Snowedin'Bama — February 4, 2008 @ 3:46 pm
16
# 12 ya Torrie (sp) Davis got cited for underage drinking/open container. If a 300 plus pound black kid on the street outside the bar drinking a mixed drink doesn’t stick out like sore thumb and scream “arrest me” in Gainesville, i duno what does.
Comment by big urb — February 4, 2008 @ 3:17 pm
15
I don’t believe Brian Cook and Brian “Hung Like Reggie F’n Nelson” are the same person but I could be mistaken.
I’d assume the “drug house” charge is part of Oregon’s criminal code, not their civil code…but I’m no lawyer so legal semantics are not my strong suit.
Comment by PeteJayhawk — February 4, 2008 @ 3:08 pm
14
#11 Not the same as your examples. Not at all. You should know better.
#13 You should know better, also. I know Brian does the big board, but Orson is the final word on the contents.
I am excited to have a ranking, any ranking regarding our football team, so I just want to be correctly identified.
Comment by reb pup — February 4, 2008 @ 3:04 pm
13
10 - “Brian” of, I am assuming, MGoBlog does the board.
Read the full text.
Personally, I think referring to Mississippi as “Ole Miss” is a crime against humanity, but apparently they won the Super Bowl last night….
sorry, no wait, the SEC won the Super Bowl last night, so perhaps I just have my head up my ass, once again.
Comment by Coop — February 4, 2008 @ 2:52 pm
12
Where is UF on the list? Didn’t they just have a freshman given a notice to appear in court for underage drinking in a club?
Comment by Pat — February 4, 2008 @ 2:51 pm
11
O, Don’t give in to #10. Then you have to start calling teams Mizzou, the U, or Okie Light.
You’d be opening yourself up to a whole can of worms.
Comment by ThreenOut — February 4, 2008 @ 2:50 pm
10
Please change it to “Ole Miss” - Unless y’all are trying to piss me off.
“Mississippi” is used by yankees and other asshats who have no familiarity with the Southeastern Conference. Orson, you don’t belong in either of those categories, so what gives?
Comment by reb pup — February 4, 2008 @ 2:46 pm
9
I’d be interested to see someone find a place in Eugene that didn’t count as a drug house - maybe a couple of straight edge squats, but that’s got to be about it.
Comment by DC Trojan — February 4, 2008 @ 2:32 pm
8
O
RE: drug house
It seems to be a pretty standard charge out here West of the Big Muddy. My best home-ette got popped with it two weeks before the IA Bar. And another ..ahem.. associate of mine got dinged with one in South Dakota.
Comment by Der Schatten — February 4, 2008 @ 2:29 pm
7
I have full faith that Tennessee can in fact win this one.
Comment by ThreenOut — February 4, 2008 @ 2:26 pm
6
Still no love for Duke and its “affray” charges?
Comment by rusty — February 4, 2008 @ 2:22 pm
5
I’m so proud of the fighting Volunteers. They learned last year that just because the award is named for their fearless leader, that doesn’t mean that they can coast to the championship. It was a hard lesson, but it has spawned a new commitment to excellence for the Orange Nation.
I just love the competitive spirit.
Comment by fresh — February 4, 2008 @ 2:20 pm
4
#3 -
If that were the case, I think we could go ahead and call the race for the Tigers…
Comment by WarCardinals — February 4, 2008 @ 2:19 pm
3
Too bad for Mizzou that their basketball shenanigans are ineligible for the Fulmer Cup.
Comment by I R A Darth Aggie — February 4, 2008 @ 2:07 pm
2
You’re still missing this Wazzu point.
Comment by Brian O'Blivion — February 4, 2008 @ 1:44 pm
1
Just like the Top 25, littered with SEC teams.
Comment by WarCardinals — February 4, 2008 @ 1:23 pm