That’s one way to do it. Fernley High School lineman Kevin Hart announced this past week that he was going to play for Cal, a bold and innovative step in recruiting techniques since the Reno, Nevada resident may or may not have a scholarship offer from Cal. So just go out there, commit, and see if they bite. Live to win, son! LIVE! YEAH!

It is not that simple, of course: in fact, according to his football coach, it may be all part of something much, much bigger.

“This is involving law enforcement and may involve other departments, other than the NCAA, that are bigger than local,” Hodges, who has been in coaching for 20 years, said. “I would love to tell you everything I know, but I can’t at this time and I’m not even sure what I know.”

Treadstone, the Vatican, the CIA, Interpol, the Illuminati, the Bilateral Commission, the Elders of Zion, Comintern, S.P.E.C.T.R.E., and others could not be reached for comment. (HT: Dave.)

“We’re going to kick those guys butts across town!” If you want a glimpse at the master-race charisma of the Salesman himself in action, watch Rick Neuheisel pumping up the crowd at Pauley Pavillion during a UCLA basketball game. Please also note the look on Norm Chow’s face the whole time: wherever Chow is, it looks like he’s in complete knowing control, even if he’s completely and totally not (see: watching the Titans offense last year.)


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(HT: Gutty Little Bruins.)

Mess with the DickRod, get the DickRod! Rich Rodriguez has done the All-American thing in his ongoing spat with West Virginia: countersued them for, um…poor Outlook managers?

The university broke so many promises, Rodriguez’s lawyers wrote, and so slandered and even endangered Rodriguez, that the court should limit his potential damages to no more than $75,000, not the $4 million the university is seeking.

Endangered? As in put him and his family in danger of bodily harm, or made them a rare species worthy of protection? We’re going with the second, since most West Virginia fans seemed happily in favor of putting a radio collar on DickRod after his flirtation with Alabama. (This would have made the whole Michigan drama so much easier in the first place, since you could just have just tracked him as you would a rogue polar bear or dolphin.)

Duke is fat. At least according to David Cutcliffe, who will have the team running this spring to lean ‘em up, create team spirit, etc. Phil Fulmer doesn’t even know who you are anymore, David Cutcliffe. Running is for women and cheetahs, son.

Yes, there’s a Fulmer Cupdate coming this morning, as it was a busy weekend for many, including Tennessee, who are making a vintage effort here. (Can’t taunt, fear Gator player being caught for discharging RPG while smoking baseball bat spliff outside dorms.) In the meantime…you can’t handle Puppy Bowl! Don’t even try.