NAUGHTYHUBBY CHATS AWAY OFFER
by Orson on Jan 29, 2008 11:43 AM EST
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PrintAnonymous, like life, can be a bitch. At least that's what Anonymous themselves say, the group of hackers and other assorted internet desperadoes that are currently slashing up the Church of Scientology's servers and "hacking and spamming for Ron Paul." (WOOOOOOO! Gold standard up in this bitch, baby!)
Anonymous also trolls for those soliciting underage girls "Dateline: To Catch a Predator"-style, waiting in internet chat rooms and making life very difficult for those cruising for tail at Hannah Montana concerts. This week's edition of the show, poached off of 4Chan.org, show an unidentified young recruit identifying himself as "NAUGHTYHUBBY" who, after hearing that his conversation partner is 13 years old, asks if she would like to "SUCK MY BIG BLACK 18 IN DICK," thus entering a heretofore unexplored country of sexual insecurity by claiming a penis not just twice, but three times average size.
No word on who the recruit is, if any action has been taken by authorities, or what the hell's going on with it. It's internet rumor of the most salacious kind. In other words: enjoy, in that "gawk-at-something-horrible" kind of way.
Another conversation between the recruit and the "cops" follows. Who knows if it's actually the police; we suspect it's not.
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Wouldn’t a dick that long be a health hazard? Every time that dude got an erection, he’d black out, wouldn’t he?
Anyway, my guess is that it’s Jimmy Clausen, even though it’s one year later, trying to find a way out of Notre Dame.
by Ground0EastLansing on Jan 29, 2008 11:48 AM EST reply actions
Gone tabloid lately have we, with the skinners and the catch a predators … its a return to the renaissance days of Cecil The Diesel Collins.
It all sorta makes you misty-eyed for something as innocuous as Tebow and a girl who he may or may not know. Or even of Stafford at Talladega.
by Kenny on Jan 29, 2008 11:49 AM EST reply actions
Based on what is the solicitor in the chat a recruit?
by Hannibal Montegna on Jan 29, 2008 11:57 AM EST reply actions
" . . . making life very difficult for those cruising for tail at Hannah Montana concerts. "
I’ll probably go to hell or jail for laughing as hard as I did at that turn of phrase.
by DevilGrad on Jan 29, 2008 11:59 AM EST reply actions
I heard on the radio this morning some coach actually did get arrested for trying to pickup 13 year old girls. I can’t remember who though. Oh…yea, it was the soccer coach or something from Howard University.
by Brian on Jan 29, 2008 12:03 PM EST reply actions
Hannibal: the whole “omg don’t arrest me my family is depending on my football career and I haven’t even started college yet” part.
by tim on Jan 29, 2008 12:04 PM EST reply actions
That’s why you never mention the size of your cock, just vaguely refer to the “Fuck Lion”.
Plausable deniability…
by NewAZTiger on Jan 29, 2008 12:10 PM EST reply actions
I know what the problem was — he forgot to put on his robe and wizard cap.
by Yinka Double Dare on Jan 29, 2008 12:11 PM EST reply actions
“Not only did you solicit a minor, but we all doubt very much that your dick is, in fact, 18 inches.”
Wow. Injury, meet insult.
by Doug on Jan 29, 2008 12:13 PM EST reply actions
Best part of the transcript:
Not only did you solicit a minor, but we all doubt very much that your dick is, in fact, 18 inches.
I also like when he tries to pretend he’s from the Memphis police department looking for guys who are acting as cops that get pedophiles.
by WarCardinals on Jan 29, 2008 12:14 PM EST reply actions
the Gainsesvilel Sun just posted a retraction.
by TIGERinATL on Jan 29, 2008 12:14 PM EST reply actions
Lying about dick size is a class two misdemeanor.
by NoleinTexas on Jan 29, 2008 12:16 PM EST reply actions
Huh…you would think that typing PLZZZ would get him out of trouble.
Also, the following exchange was left out of the end:
“U no wht, son? U said plzzz, so ur outta trble. J/K! Its me, Urbz! LOL! U ready to be a G8R? Lol!!!”
by RaginCajunRebel on Jan 29, 2008 12:26 PM EST reply actions
- -
Kelvin Sampson tried that with the NCAA. It didn’t go so well that time, but he managed to land Eric Gordon with the same treatment.
by Ground0EastLansing on Jan 29, 2008 12:30 PM EST reply actions
Oh god, the idiot memes of 4chan have invaded my internets.
MASSIVE FAIL
by PeteJayhawk on Jan 29, 2008 12:33 PM EST reply actions
if it’s real, my name is really steve whataburger, and I have the superhuman ability to freewalk like altair.
i applaud the effort, but I’ve seen too many of those type chats to be amused. no crime in chatting on teh internets. teh internets are still the ph4t phr33 w4r3z they always were: just don’t try to meet any of those 13 year olds IRL, o ye l33t f00t|34|/\|LL g0[)5.
by Cameron Siggs on Jan 29, 2008 12:38 PM EST reply actions
I don’t see the problem here. Obviously the Memphis police department speaks in LOL. The FBI guy is busted.
by ThreenOut on Jan 29, 2008 12:38 PM EST reply actions
It’s real insofar as being an actual conversation between a perv and someone pretending to be a cop pretending to be a little girl. Whether the perv is the promising football hero he claims to be, well, he makes a lot of dubious claims.
by tim on Jan 29, 2008 12:45 PM EST reply actions
You have to wonder how far we’ve fallen as a society that, even when faced with the prospect of jail and public embarassment, the offender can’t even bother to type complete words.
I mean – you may lose your freedom, but you don’t want anyone thinking you’re a nerd, right?
by Eric on Jan 29, 2008 12:51 PM EST reply actions
The ghost of John Dillinger laughs derisively at this guy’s 18-incher.
by Will (the other one) on Jan 29, 2008 12:51 PM EST reply actions
- - what about the suspicion of lying about one’s dick size?
by Out of Conference on Jan 29, 2008 12:52 PM EST reply actions
PD: The judge may have been lenient, had it not been for the gross exaggeration of dick size.
There’s a South Carolina joke here somewhere…
by Beauford on Jan 29, 2008 12:55 PM EST reply actions
Wait…18 / 3 = 6
So six inches is average? Really?
by Mike @ Black Shoe Diaries on Jan 29, 2008 12:57 PM EST reply actions
“Lying about one’s dick size is a Class 2 misdemeanor.”
So is using a dick that size.
by Ray on Jan 29, 2008 12:59 PM EST reply actions
Between this post, the “Excite Sensual Gel,” and the MILF from the PAYDAYLOAN.com advertisement…
EDSBS is turning into something entirely different in a rapid manner.
by Coop on Jan 29, 2008 1:22 PM EST reply actions
add the pop-starlet video links as well as the ass in the pink bikini to that list. EDSBS is pandering to someone. Obviously some of us have been …ahem… clicking on the adds.
by TIGERinATL on Jan 29, 2008 1:32 PM EST reply actions
Interesting that Agent Brewster will be visiting him. I wonder if that explains the top 25 recruiting class after a 1-11 season.
by chairLegInEyeSocket on Jan 29, 2008 2:54 PM EST reply actions
Just think what John Holmes could have done with today’s technological advances!
by Touchdown74 on Jan 29, 2008 3:49 PM EST reply actions
“You have to wonder how far weve fallen as a society that, even when faced with the prospect of jail and public embarassment, the offender cant even bother to type complete words.”
I don’t know that the guy actually knew how to actually spell those words correctly; or perhaps he thinks he IS spelling them correctly. As you can see, he seems to think a police officer posing as a perv would converse in exactly the same format, in all caps. So in summary, as a society we’ve fallen much further than you thought.
by KWG on Jan 29, 2008 4:04 PM EST reply actions
#30,31
Don’t forget about Zwinky the playful pre-pubescent tart that always wants your name.
by hunglikehussain on Jan 29, 2008 4:47 PM EST reply actions
Considering the mean education level of a cop, they probably do use all caps and improper spelling.
by UgasTexan on Jan 29, 2008 5:37 PM EST reply actions
Swindle’s a /b/tard? I might have known. But I didn’t.
by poguemahone on Jan 29, 2008 7:05 PM EST reply actions
Oh yeah, a couple more things…
it’s only a matter of time before someone on /b/ posts a link to EDSBS and asks for a raid. They’ve got plenty of football memes to go around ever since the “American Hiroshima” incident. Batten down the hatches.
If you think this is funny, you should see what they did to a pedophile in Canada. For great justice and lulz.
by poguemahone on Jan 29, 2008 7:09 PM EST reply actions
Sgt. Bel Air is not real. It’s a recurring joke to spam the theme song from “Fresh Prince of Bel Air” on 4chan.
by trundle on Jan 29, 2008 7:11 PM EST reply actions
I KNEW Swindle was a /b/tard…it was just too obvious from his sense of humor and love of memes.
by akijikan on Jan 30, 2008 3:38 AM EST reply actions
LOLZ IM IN UR INTENETS IMPER$ON8ING UR 13 YR OLDZZ
by Doug on Jan 30, 2008 8:06 AM EST reply actions
“for great justice”
AYB – the gift that keeps giving
by Cock D on Jan 30, 2008 10:51 AM EST reply actions
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