NAUGHTYHUBBY CHATS AWAY OFFER
Anonymous, like life, can be a bitch. At least that’s what Anonymous themselves say, the group of hackers and other assorted internet desperadoes that are currently slashing up the Church of Scientology’s servers and “hacking and spamming for Ron Paul.” (WOOOOOOO! Gold standard up in this bitch, baby!)
Anonymous also trolls for those soliciting underage girls “Dateline: To Catch a Predator”-style, waiting in internet chat rooms and making life very difficult for those cruising for tail at Hannah Montana concerts. This week’s edition of the show, poached off of 4Chan.org, show an unidentified young recruit identifying himself as “NAUGHTYHUBBY” who, after hearing that his conversation partner is 13 years old, asks if she would like to “SUCK MY BIG BLACK 18 IN DICK,” thus entering a heretofore unexplored country of sexual insecurity by claiming a penis not just twice, but three times average size.
No word on who the recruit is, if any action has been taken by authorities, or what the hell’s going on with it. It’s internet rumor of the most salacious kind. In other words: enjoy, in that “gawk-at-something-horrible” kind of way.
Another conversation between the recruit and the “cops” follows. Who knows if it’s actually the police; we suspect it’s not.











1
Ground0EastLansing says:
Wouldn’t a dick that long be a health hazard? Every time that dude got an erection, he’d black out, wouldn’t he?
Anyway, my guess is that it’s Jimmy Clausen, even though it’s one year later, trying to find a way out of Notre Dame.
January 29th, 2008 at 11:48 am
2
Kenny says:
Gone tabloid lately have we, with the skinners and the catch a predators … its a return to the renaissance days of Cecil The Diesel Collins.
It all sorta makes you misty-eyed for something as innocuous as Tebow and a girl who he may or may not know. Or even of Stafford at Talladega.
January 29th, 2008 at 11:49 am
3
Hannibal Montegna says:
Based on what is the solicitor in the chat a recruit?
January 29th, 2008 at 11:57 am
4
DevilGrad says:
” . . . making life very difficult for those cruising for tail at Hannah Montana concerts. ”
I’ll probably go to hell or jail for laughing as hard as I did at that turn of phrase.
January 29th, 2008 at 11:59 am
5
Brian says:
I heard on the radio this morning some coach actually did get arrested for trying to pickup 13 year old girls. I can’t remember who though. Oh…yea, it was the soccer coach or something from Howard University.
January 29th, 2008 at 12:03 pm
6
tim says:
Hannibal: the whole “omg don’t arrest me my family is depending on my football career and I haven’t even started college yet” part.
January 29th, 2008 at 12:04 pm
7
NewAZTiger says:
That’s why you never mention the size of your cock, just vaguely refer to the “Fuck Lion”.
Plausable deniability…
January 29th, 2008 at 12:10 pm
8
TIGERinATL says:
the Gainsville Sun says it’s Julio Jones.
January 29th, 2008 at 12:11 pm
9
Yinka Double Dare says:
I know what the problem was — he forgot to put on his robe and wizard cap.
January 29th, 2008 at 12:11 pm
10
Doug says:
“Not only did you solicit a minor, but we all doubt very much that your dick is, in fact, 18 inches.”
Wow. Injury, meet insult.
January 29th, 2008 at 12:13 pm
11
OPS says:
+1, Tiger.
January 29th, 2008 at 12:13 pm
12
WarCardinals says:
Best part of the transcript:
Not only did you solicit a minor, but we all doubt very much that your dick is, in fact, 18 inches.
I also like when he tries to pretend he’s from the Memphis police department looking for guys who are acting as cops that get pedophiles.
January 29th, 2008 at 12:14 pm
13
TIGERinATL says:
the Gainsesvilel Sun just posted a retraction.
January 29th, 2008 at 12:14 pm
14
NoleinTexas says:
Lying about dick size is a class two misdemeanor.
January 29th, 2008 at 12:16 pm
15
RaginCajunRebel says:
Huh…you would think that typing PLZZZ would get him out of trouble.
Also, the following exchange was left out of the end:
“U no wht, son? U said plzzz, so ur outta trble. J/K! Its me, Urbz! LOL! U ready to be a G8R? Lol!!!”
January 29th, 2008 at 12:26 pm
16
Ground0EastLansing says:
#15 –
Kelvin Sampson tried that with the NCAA. It didn’t go so well that time, but he managed to land Eric Gordon with the same treatment.
January 29th, 2008 at 12:30 pm
17
Hang up & Listen says:
is this real?
January 29th, 2008 at 12:32 pm
18
PeteJayhawk says:
Oh god, the idiot memes of 4chan have invaded my internets.
MASSIVE FAIL
January 29th, 2008 at 12:33 pm
19
Cameron Siggs says:
if it’s real, my name is really steve whataburger, and I have the superhuman ability to freewalk like altair.
i applaud the effort, but I’ve seen too many of those type chats to be amused. no crime in chatting on teh internets. teh internets are still the ph4t phr33 w4r3z they always were: just don’t try to meet any of those 13 year olds IRL, o ye l33t f00t|34|/\|LL g0[)5.
January 29th, 2008 at 12:38 pm
20
ThreenOut says:
I don’t see the problem here. Obviously the Memphis police department speaks in LOL. The FBI guy is busted.
January 29th, 2008 at 12:38 pm
21
tim says:
It’s real insofar as being an actual conversation between a perv and someone pretending to be a cop pretending to be a little girl. Whether the perv is the promising football hero he claims to be, well, he makes a lot of dubious claims.
January 29th, 2008 at 12:45 pm
22
fife in the bay says:
copypasta? or just lulz?
January 29th, 2008 at 12:46 pm
23
fife in the bay says:
i think its just lulz
January 29th, 2008 at 12:47 pm
24
Eric says:
You have to wonder how far we’ve fallen as a society that, even when faced with the prospect of jail and public embarassment, the offender can’t even bother to type complete words.
I mean – you may lose your freedom, but you don’t want anyone thinking you’re a nerd, right?
January 29th, 2008 at 12:51 pm
25
Will (the other one) says:
The ghost of John Dillinger laughs derisively at this guy’s 18-incher.
January 29th, 2008 at 12:51 pm
26
Out of Conference says:
#14 – what about the suspicion of lying about one’s dick size?
January 29th, 2008 at 12:52 pm
27
Beauford says:
PD: The judge may have been lenient, had it not been for the gross exaggeration of dick size.
There’s a South Carolina joke here somewhere…
January 29th, 2008 at 12:55 pm
28
Mike @ Black Shoe Diaries says:
Wait…18 / 3 = 6
So six inches is average? Really?
January 29th, 2008 at 12:57 pm
29
Ray says:
“Lying about one’s dick size is a Class 2 misdemeanor.”
So is using a dick that size.
January 29th, 2008 at 12:59 pm
30
Coop says:
Between this post, the “Excite Sensual Gel,” and the MILF from the PAYDAYLOAN.com advertisement…
EDSBS is turning into something entirely different in a rapid manner.
January 29th, 2008 at 1:22 pm
31
TIGERinATL says:
add the pop-starlet video links as well as the ass in the pink bikini to that list. EDSBS is pandering to someone. Obviously some of us have been …ahem… clicking on the adds.
January 29th, 2008 at 1:32 pm
32
Dr. Cruz says:
What’s black and blue and shakes all over?
January 29th, 2008 at 2:24 pm
33
chairLegInEyeSocket says:
Interesting that Agent Brewster will be visiting him. I wonder if that explains the top 25 recruiting class after a 1-11 season.
January 29th, 2008 at 2:54 pm
34
Brian O'Blivion says:
R Kelly doesn’t think this is funny.
January 29th, 2008 at 3:30 pm
35
Touchdown74 says:
Just think what John Holmes could have done with today’s technological advances!
January 29th, 2008 at 3:49 pm
36
KWG says:
“You have to wonder how far we’ve fallen as a society that, even when faced with the prospect of jail and public embarassment, the offender can’t even bother to type complete words.”
I don’t know that the guy actually knew how to actually spell those words correctly; or perhaps he thinks he IS spelling them correctly. As you can see, he seems to think a police officer posing as a perv would converse in exactly the same format, in all caps. So in summary, as a society we’ve fallen much further than you thought.
January 29th, 2008 at 4:04 pm
37
hunglikehussain says:
#30,31
Don’t forget about Zwinky the playful pre-pubescent tart that always wants your name.
January 29th, 2008 at 4:47 pm
38
UgasTexan says:
Considering the mean education level of a cop, they probably do use all caps and improper spelling.
January 29th, 2008 at 5:37 pm
39
poguemahone says:
Swindle’s a /b/tard? I might have known. But I didn’t.
January 29th, 2008 at 7:05 pm
40
poguemahone says:
Oh yeah, a couple more things…
it’s only a matter of time before someone on /b/ posts a link to EDSBS and asks for a raid. They’ve got plenty of football memes to go around ever since the “American Hiroshima” incident. Batten down the hatches.
If you think this is funny, you should see what they did to a pedophile in Canada. For great justice and lulz.
January 29th, 2008 at 7:09 pm
41
trundle says:
Sgt. Bel Air is not real. It’s a recurring joke to spam the theme song from “Fresh Prince of Bel Air” on 4chan.
January 29th, 2008 at 7:11 pm
42
akijikan says:
I KNEW Swindle was a /b/tard…it was just too obvious from his sense of humor and love of memes.
January 30th, 2008 at 3:38 am
43
Doug says:
LOLZ IM IN UR INTENETS IMPER$ON8ING UR 13 YR OLDZZ
January 30th, 2008 at 8:06 am
44
Cock D says:
“for great justice”
AYB – the gift that keeps giving
January 30th, 2008 at 10:51 am