EDSBS EXCLUSIVE: DANA JACOBSON AUDIO FROM ESPN ROAST
by Orson on Jan 25, 2008 2:22 PM EST
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Warning: not only does this contain the original offensive language spoken by Jacobson ("F--- Notre Dame, F--- Jesus") but also several new unreported and shocking remarks, as well. NOT SAFE FOR WORK OR TENDER EARS.
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I never realized that Jacobson sounds a lot like David Sedaris with a head cold.
by domer.mq on Jan 25, 2008 2:27 PM EST reply actions
Meh….that audio sucked.
Oh, and Charlie Weis is very, very, very fat. That is all.
by Brian O'Blivion on Jan 25, 2008 2:39 PM EST reply actions
You know that LSU Freak thing with the dude waking up next to Charlie Weis? Yeah, I think you’re feeling me.
by Biggus Rickus on Jan 25, 2008 2:41 PM EST reply actions
Spencer Hall IS Orson Swindle IS Trey Parker IS Dana Jacobson
IN
Cry, The Beloved Teleprompter
by Holly on Jan 25, 2008 2:44 PM EST reply actions
Wait, was I not supposed to be strokiing it while I listened to that? fearfully darting eyes
by Biggus Rickus on Jan 25, 2008 2:46 PM EST reply actions
This is weak. But how many ND grads will think this is real
by ND_Grads_bang_kids on Jan 25, 2008 2:49 PM EST reply actions
What else are you supposed to do in Atlantic City if you’re not there to gamble?
I admire the form, proper posture, good angle for easy consumption, plus a classy touch in leaving the quick pour attachment on.
I salute you, Ms. Jacobson. Twice.
by Signal to Noise on Jan 25, 2008 2:51 PM EST reply actions
I believe in the real audio she says “Fuck Touchdown Jesus” btwn “Fuck Notre Dame” and “Fuck Jesus.”
This sounds like Andy Dick as the blowjob instructor from Old School.
by Baconpants on Jan 25, 2008 2:52 PM EST reply actions
Brilliant! Favorite line: (Ditka’s) not gay, he’s just impotent!
As a side note, this shorn Mick “Mankind” Foley tranny should be a shoe-in for the next Amazon of the Year Award: the Wasted-Wilderbeast-Edition.
by LSUfreek on Jan 25, 2008 2:53 PM EST reply actions
Jacobson got what she deserved. A suspension and waking up next to Wingo!!
by tyler on Jan 25, 2008 2:55 PM EST reply actions
Orson, you magnificent bastard!
Why does Dana Jacobson sound like every annoying girl from college?
true/false: Would Ditka calling you a cunt be a highlight in a life?
by jon on Jan 25, 2008 2:57 PM EST reply actions
@#10
If I may venture a guess at your question…I’d say about as many times as you have had sex with an actual live female…or male if you happen to swing that way.
by Hank Kingsley on Jan 25, 2008 2:58 PM EST reply actions
Why is no one focusing on the bigger picture, when did Mike & Mike become celebrities and who has a roast that involves Trey Wingo?
by Kemp on Jan 25, 2008 3:01 PM EST reply actions
I wish she could have gotten in some “Fuck Rudy”s in because, really, fuck Rudy.
by Baconpants on Jan 25, 2008 3:07 PM EST reply actions
Orson Swindle (the blogger, not the war hero) is one of this nation’s greatest treasures.
by PeteJayhawk on Jan 25, 2008 3:07 PM EST reply actions
Man it’s like listening to the drunk girls at the bar when
I was in college. “I’ll outlast you fat boy” Well done Orson.
by Ry on Jan 25, 2008 3:10 PM EST reply actions
+99 Orson, because Dana’s gotta drink somethin’ during this suspension.
by Ground0EastLansing on Jan 25, 2008 3:12 PM EST reply actions
#8-
For as funny as the question was, it’s even funnier that somewhere, some man’s fantasy is looking at the chaos underneath Dana Jacobson pants.
by Ground0EastLansing on Jan 25, 2008 3:15 PM EST reply actions
You’re getting paid to sit home and do this?
Where did you get the “resturaunt noise,” background track?
by Brian on Jan 25, 2008 3:15 PM EST reply actions
Yawn. You’ve had better efforts in the audio department.
by Geaux Irish on Jan 25, 2008 3:17 PM EST reply actions
That’s Eric Cartman on that audio file. You aren’t fooling me. Respect my authoritah!
by fresh on Jan 25, 2008 3:19 PM EST reply actions
You know, I really try not to be a hypersensitive ND fan. I don’t care about Weis fat jokes (yes, he’s fat), all the losing jokes, and I really don’t care about Mrs. Ed and her vodka-fueled remarks.
Some shit is beyond the pale, though. So fuck you #10 and your “funny” commenter name.
by ProfKid93 on Jan 25, 2008 3:20 PM EST reply actions
ProfKid93-
I agree— it’s just like Godwin’s law, it only makes the speaker sound stupid.
And for fuck’s sake, if someone’s hatred of Notre Dame isn’t slaked by a 3-9 season, they need to have their meds checked.
by The Conscience of a Nation on Jan 25, 2008 3:42 PM EST reply actions
“Asta la vista bitches! Oh God, Oh God.” Brilliant Orson, just brilliant
by BuckeyeDomer on Jan 25, 2008 3:43 PM EST reply actions
I am filled with irrational rage and an unquenchable thirst for blood!
by NDTom on Jan 25, 2008 3:55 PM EST reply actions
Charlie Weis really does look like a fat lesbian.
by formerlyanonymous on Jan 25, 2008 4:01 PM EST reply actions
ProfKid93 @ 29 – clearly beyond the pale on that person’s part.
TCOAN @ 31 – not hate-filled, just disappointed. I really thought that they could go the distance for 0 – 12. Thank goodness for the Pac 10, eh Domers? Stanford must have used up all their mojo in beating USC.
by DC Trojan on Jan 25, 2008 4:05 PM EST reply actions
#22, there is an article in the Christmas edition of the Economist about “History’s greatest swindler.” When I first saw the cover, thinking it was titled “History’s greatest Swindle,” and was a comparison of the two.
by Herb on Jan 25, 2008 4:12 PM EST reply actions
DCTrojan -
The Pac-10 owed us after giving us Willingham and Kevin White.
by ProfKid93 on Jan 25, 2008 4:22 PM EST reply actions
ProfKid93 @ 38. Strictly speaking, Willingham was all Kevin White’s work after he was at ND… and you did give Tyrone right back, which I think caused some kind of karma cancellation on that front.
But Kevin White, yeah, that’s the gift that keeps on giving.
by DC Trojan on Jan 25, 2008 4:35 PM EST reply actions
I bet Harold Reynolds offered her a hug.
by Maize n Brew Dave on Jan 25, 2008 5:06 PM EST reply actions
I wanted Orson/Cartman/Dana to bust out a “You wanna know what ’chu are?” ala Drunk Girl from SNL.
by John on Jan 25, 2008 5:35 PM EST reply actions
I don’t understand what the big deal is about saying “Fuck Jesus” at a roast… it’s a roast… you’re TRYING to offend people… theoretically, that was the best roast speech since Andy Dick said that stuff about fucking some guy with Bea Arthur’s dick.
by PeterPumpkinhead on Jan 25, 2008 5:52 PM EST reply actions
She is a huge, sweaty cow. Kind of like a young Janet Reno. And the fact that she didn’t take the pourer out of the bottle before feigning chugging is hilarious.
by J.J. on Jan 25, 2008 5:55 PM EST reply actions
#42, that was Jeffrey Ross, king of the roasters….look up the Emmitt Smith roast on youtube and watch him start taking shots at Shaq…great stuff.
by Reasonable_Bama_Fan on Jan 25, 2008 6:08 PM EST reply actions
That is a riot !!!! Great job!!! Just imagine if she said Nappy Headed Ho’s!!!
by Leppycole on Jan 25, 2008 8:46 PM EST reply actions
Hey… BuckeyeBeau (from Chicago)… so, sorry if i’m an idiot (and therefore “slow” and therefore open to typical UofM (and others’) jokes about a OSU edjewcakeshun), but is this actual audio or fictionalized audio? Sarcasm is really difficult to “hear” when reading (just a general comment).
by BuckeyeBeau on Jan 26, 2008 10:14 AM EST reply actions
@53… BuckeyeBeau here again.. okay, thanks for clarifying… admit i LOVE the “doctored” audio… particularly like the “f*** catsup!” and the Charlie Weis looks like “a fat lesbian” comment… woohoo! and if you live in Kansas, you say: “My Coach can eat your coach” and the South Bend response is: “Nuh uhn, my coach can eat YOUR coach.” And fans in West Virgina say: “Couch? Couch? I don’t see no burning couch.” (okay, okay, they burn couches in Columbus too … well maybe)… okay, i’m done for now… clearly I need some coffee.
by BuckeyeBeau on Jan 28, 2008 7:46 AM EST reply actions
Re #31: I’ve found that the one thing that pisses off Domers more than hatred is pity, but, seriously, they have to watch that shit on the field all season and then live through winter in South Bend. Jesus.
by DevilGrad on Jan 28, 2008 8:28 AM EST reply actions
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