THEM FITTEDS COMIN’ TO SOUTH BEND
USF is bringin’ the shocker, the fitteds, and singlet guy to Notre Dame: the Bulls and Irish will play a “one-game series” in 2011 in South Bend. Cue obligatory picture of USF Singlet Guy:
You know why he’s wearing the singlet? Because when you make it rain like the Bulls do, you need a motherfucking swimsuit just to stay dry. (Now, when we go to the strip club, we make it hail, because CoinStar closed their kiosk in the local Kroger, and we got to shine somehow when we in the club.)
Speaking of making it rain, the article does inform us that the Bulls may have actually made money on their bowl appearance this year, a rarity among bowl-eligible schools. The Bulls amassed $269,300 in profit from their asswhipping at the SunBowl, a good haul by any measure. However, the clip from the TBO.com piece that caught our eye most was this:
TAMPA – When University of South Florida secondary coach Troy Douglas walked off the Notre Dame Stadium turf as a Michigan State assistant Sept. 22, 2001, he bent over and grabbed a little memento.
Douglas pulled up some of the turf and stored it in a sandwich baggie until getting rid of it a couple years ago.
All apologies to USF fans, but most Bulls fans we know will be bringing the fat pants, bolt-link chain necklaces, and an entirely different sort of weed in bags to the game.
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1
Big Ten Joe says:
Clap, clap.
“(Now, when we go to the strip club, we make it hail, because CoinStar closed their kiosk in the local Kroger, and we got to shine somehow when we in the club.)”
The imagery of this sentence made me laugh more than most things I’ve read this month.
January 24th, 2008 at 2:41 pm
2
Big Ten Joe says:
Oh, and because it’s never happened before . . . “First!”
January 24th, 2008 at 2:42 pm
3
Vandy J says:
Now, when we go to the strip club, we make it hail, because CoinStar closed their kiosk in the local Kroger, and we got to shine somehow when we in the club.
Make it hail…
100 cocktails, sir, less the cost of replacing a fine government-issue CRT monitor.
January 24th, 2008 at 2:44 pm
4
Dorito says:
I believe “series,” by definition, implies more than one. This sounds more like “a Notre Dame home game.”
January 24th, 2008 at 2:52 pm
5
Brian says:
In honor of his Brother, Ted Kennedy regularly makes it hail when he goes to tha’ cluuub. He once killed a dancer this way, but since it wasn’t his first such murder, no one bothered to investigate.
Just a quick note for the fellas regarding “makin’ it hail.”
http://everything2.com/index.pl?node_id=1403357
January 24th, 2008 at 2:55 pm
6
haybeav says:
WARNING!!!!!
Do not read this website during class on your laptop because you will laugh out loud and everyone will turn around to look at you while your professor is discussing the “Trail of Tears”.
Bravo Orson with regards to the “Making it Hail” and Coinstar reference.
10 Pat O’Brien’s “Hurricanes” to you, sir!!
January 24th, 2008 at 3:01 pm
7
gerry dorsey says:
if you go to the wrong strip club, many of the “dancer’s” asses already look like they’ve been pelted with dimes.
January 24th, 2008 at 3:08 pm
8
Last Dragon says:
Canadian strip clubs are fun because their dollars are actually coins. The “loonie”……….
January 24th, 2008 at 3:15 pm
9
Brian says:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IW4VyaaYA0k — In the women’s bathroom at the UGA/UF cocktail party. Gotta watch it all the way through. – Safe for work.
January 24th, 2008 at 3:18 pm
10
Chuck says:
I like the fan of USF Hockey (!) who rushed the field.
January 24th, 2008 at 3:21 pm
11
Brian O'Blivion says:
Insert random shocker joke here.
January 24th, 2008 at 3:26 pm
12
Rome says:
I once got kicked out of a strip club for ripping the singles in half and getting a two for one from the skank on stage. She wasn’t happy and neither was the bouncer.
As I was escorted out the door, I tried to explain that 2 stage dances for a dollar from a broad that looked like Shrek was in reality a compliment to her, but he wasn’t buying any of it.
Here’s another good one too. I was dating a stripper, well, more like doing the broad. She wanted to go out of town to visit a friend of her’s that just happened to be a stripper also. Go figure.
The 2 of them wanted to go make some money. The three of us ended up at some shithole in Corpus Christi Texas. The two of them would go do their thing and the best part of all was that they would bring the cash they made back to me as I sat at the bar.
It was the one day that I can say I was an actual PIMP!
Well, as they keep making money, I’m getting more and more hammered at the bar. Before you know it, I’m using my ho’s money to buy rounds for the schlubs at the bar. The girls must have passed me close to $200 throughout the night, but when we left all I had was about $20 in singles. That relationship only lasted about another 2 or 3 days.
Now I’m married, and life is much less exciting.
January 24th, 2008 at 3:32 pm
13
Domer Guy says:
@ Big Ten Joe (#2): Do NOT start that shit on this website. I’ve already had to quit reading Above the Law because of assholes like you, and I’m simply not willing to give up on EDSBS.
January 24th, 2008 at 3:36 pm
14
hunglikehussain says:
#13
Aw come on man, it’s like doing a virgin. You know gotta brag a bit.
January 24th, 2008 at 3:50 pm
15
Domer Guy says:
@ #6: If you think trying to maintain a calm demeanor while reading this site in class is bad, try reading it in court!
January 24th, 2008 at 3:53 pm
16
hunglikehussain says:
USF is getting at least a mil?
Wow, the price of cupcakes is getting out of hand.
January 24th, 2008 at 3:54 pm
17
Domer Guy says:
@ #14: I agree, it is similar to the aforementioned situation—if you are 16 years old.
January 24th, 2008 at 3:54 pm
18
gerry dorsey says:
hung like,
cupcakes?? give me one good reason this game won’t at least be a close game?? jimmy clausen?? usf is a cupcake in name only.
January 24th, 2008 at 3:57 pm
19
haybeav says:
I still get mad looking at this picture because of Singlet guy wearing shorts.
Just like some 10 year old snowboarder told me last week in Breckenridge, “Go Big or don’t go at all!!”
January 24th, 2008 at 4:05 pm
20
Stacy Keibler Luvs Me says:
#9 – Maybe the drunk chick thought she was the Juggernaut?
January 24th, 2008 at 4:08 pm
21
Will says:
…in regards to the cupcake comments: Normally, you pay to eat a cupcake, not to be the cupcake. ND is blazing new territory here.
January 24th, 2008 at 4:14 pm
22
hunglikehussain says:
Well, I was going to say something smart-alecky like cup cake vs. eclair, but decided against it. Yup, stay positive today…no flaming…be nice.
January 24th, 2008 at 4:25 pm
23
dudis41 says:
#6
I just about lost it in class too…
January 24th, 2008 at 4:48 pm
24
Out of Conference says:
threadjack of the Dirty Bird in the hand greater than a Cock in the mouth varierty
Arky def coord Ellis Johnson as USC’s new defensive coordinator. VanGorder back to Falcons
January 24th, 2008 at 4:55 pm
25
Out of Conference says:
sorry forgot crappy link-
http://www.thestate.com/
January 24th, 2008 at 4:57 pm
26
Kerwin4two says:
The ArkDemGaz had a nice article about Ellis Johnson being a good fit as the new DC of the Hogs, makes sense that we would split after 2 weeks on the job.
January 24th, 2008 at 5:01 pm
27
Cincy says:
I mis-read #24 and thought:
“What the hell is Ellis T. Jones doing coaching football? What’s the penalty for blowing an assignment in that defense? Taze ‘em and Trunk ‘em?”
January 24th, 2008 at 5:37 pm
28
Big Ten Joe says:
Aw, c’mon, Domer Guy–relax a little! I’m a lawyer too–and I darn fine one too, if I may say so–who worked at a Big (Top 50) Firm for the first five years of my legal career before getting an excellent, much-lower-paying-but-much-more-fun-and-relaxing University-related job opportunity, which I took after finding a way to shimmy out of the golden handcuffs, but I have never posted to Above the Law, or Greedy Associates, for that matter.
Also, I take umbrage at the unnecessary name-calling (I’m a little sensitive that way). I’m an extremely nice guy, not . . . what you called me. You wouldn’t want Notre Dame fans to get a bad reputation, now, would you?
January 24th, 2008 at 5:42 pm
29
Out of Conference says:
Domers being Domers.
January 24th, 2008 at 5:57 pm
30
Andy says:
#26 – Thanks for that. We’re all quite impressed.
Twenty-ninth!!!
January 24th, 2008 at 5:59 pm
31
Andy says:
Damn you, #29.
January 24th, 2008 at 6:00 pm
32
Andy says:
Son of a….that was supposed to be #28, not #26. I need to leave work.
January 24th, 2008 at 6:01 pm
33
Big Ten Joe says:
Me too, Andy, me too (@ #32, not #30).
FWIW, I do have a few friends who are Notre Dame alums who I like a lot and of whom I think very highly, so I was not making any blanket insinuations–just a response to one guy who was over-reacting to a goofy post by me @ #2 and countering what seemed to me to be an attempt to imply some sort of superiority through the otherwise-random Above the Law reference. That was directed at him; I’m not trying to impress anyone else. There are plenty of bright people who post here, as we all know. It’s one of the reasons–apart from Orson’s sense of humor and ample linguistic creativity–I love this site above just about all other college football-themed blogs.
Peace and goodwill to all.
January 24th, 2008 at 6:19 pm
34
Out of Conference says:
Andy 32 – I hope your aim in the sack is better. Playing the back nine without permission can get you nuts cut off.
January 24th, 2008 at 6:20 pm
35
Domer Guy says:
@#28 –
My bad. That’s the result of grinding away all day in court trying to make that scratch in an effort to get a leg up on the man (a/k/a repay student loans). I am beginning to think that asphyxiating myself with the golden handcuffs is the way to go.
In all honesty, my initial post was supposed to be (at least partially) sarcastic, but we all know how sarcasm goes over on the interwebs and in comment sections in particular. I mistakenly let the disdain I feel for some lawyers seep into my EDSBS post, and for that I apologize.
As for the “Domers being Domers” comment, yeah, I guess I deserve that one.
January 24th, 2008 at 6:40 pm
36
Big Ten Joe says:
No worries. Friends again, as far as I’m concerned. I feel your pain on the student loans too.
You (Domer Guy) might be interested to know that one of the Notre Dame alums I really liked was a guy about my dad’s age with whom I worked very closely on a large trust litigation matter. He was one of the firm’s appellate gurus. He was valedictorian of his undergraduate class at ND and then won the Hoynes Prize (first in class) as a summa graduate at ND Law School three years later before clerking at the Supreme Court for then-Chief Justice Burger. He is kind of a quiet, introverted guy, but extremely likable and brilliant. As we were both college football fans, we chatted a fair amount about the Ty Willingham-Urban Meyer-Charlie Weis saga.
One of the other Notre Dame guys I liked a lot was a trial partner with whom I worked on another T&E litigation matter. He graduated third in his class at ND Law School in the class ahead of the first guy I mentioned, and his wife was valedictorian (sadly, that being in the ’70s, her employment options weren’t nearly as numerous as his). He served as the Director of the state Office of Professional Responsibility for a number of years, so he had some really interesting stories about lawyer misconduct.
January 24th, 2008 at 7:09 pm
37
maskedavenger says:
Domer Guy,
Internet access in court? Are you sneaking in a cell phone or have the judges gone lax?
January 24th, 2008 at 8:36 pm
38
Domer Guy says:
Masked:
It’s the chemistry of my blackberry, a crowded courtroom, and waiting for my case to be called while “checking important emails from the office that may pertain to the case”. Also, this only occurs at routine scheduling and motion calls, not Jack McCoy or Johnnie Cochran OMG trial stuff. Still, it would be very hard to explain my laughter erupting through the dull silence while the judge considers a motion for leave to file a third amended complaint. Maybe I should stop. Or not.
January 24th, 2008 at 8:49 pm
39
Domer Guy says:
I think I missed your actual question. Only some courthouses disallow cell phones, and in certain courtrooms they are quite prominent.
January 24th, 2008 at 8:51 pm
40
King Harvest says:
Just to recap-
Black dude in a onesy and a cape- check
Fight guy sporting the shocker – check
Strange guy in the background witha South Florida HOCKEY shirt on – check
Just making sure
January 25th, 2008 at 10:44 pm
41
BullievableSports says:
We can’t wait till we play Notre Dame in 2011. When we saw the news at school, I was ready to play them later that night. Notre Dame better get their heads out of their asses by then…usf will be ready!
January 27th, 2008 at 11:30 pm