FULMER CUPDATE: EROTIC CHICKEN + BEER = ARREST
by Orson on Jan 24, 2008 10:23 AM EST
44 comments
Resisting arrest with zest: Ole Miss.DA REBBAH DONE--wait, wait. We can't do the Orgeron voice when it comes to Ole Miss stories anymore, can we? He's moved on to the Saints to coach their defensive line, meaning we fully expect to see Ed himself crashing double teams when he suits up in an attempt to psych his troops up next season. Watching a man blow both ACLs at once will never have been as festive, ami!
Instead, we're left with the sadness of an Ole Miss team coached by the merely insane Houston Nutt. They make their debut in the Fulmer Cup with the arrest of safety Jamarca Sanford, who refused to leave the parking lot of Night Town, a billiards club, the kind we hate because it's loaded with douchebags who, if you come within ten feet of them, give you the death glare and ask you "hey hey HEY! Little room at the table, here!" (See: Twain's, Decatur, GA, for another of these.)
Apologies, Minnesota Shats--we'll just be over here moving the cue ball with our minds, causing you to miss shots by fractions of an inch. Perhaps Jamarca hates these places, too, and just wanted to fight--or perhaps he was mesmerized by the menu offerings at Night Town. Erotic chicken might make us feisty enough to get arrested, too.
Fried Mushrooms - basket of 'shrooms served with ranch dressing. These ain't the mushrooms that'll get you to that Rocky Mountain high... But they'll get you damn close. $4.50
Cheese Sticks - mozzarella cheese sticks served with marinara. Hung like your boyfriend but tastes twice as good. $5.00
Potato Skins - Potatoes, taken out back and stuffed to the brim by the capable hands of young Cuban ladies... topped with melted cheese and bacon bits, served with sour cream. $4.50
Chicken Tender Basket - hot, sexy chicken tenders and fresh-cut french fries served with your favorite spread of mouth-watering sauces. "NightTown... the most erotic chicken in Oxford."
They watch 'em on 8mm? Now we totally want to hang with the owners of Night Town. It's a rare breed of gentleman that breaks out the double-reel for his porno, sir.
Oh, and two points for Ole Miss in the Fulmer Cup.
Erotic chicken cant u see, thoughts of pretty u and me.
0 recs |
44 comments
Email
Print
Comments
Wow….can’t wait to get to Oxford and check out the scene!
by Bob Barker on Jan 24, 2008 10:38 AM EST reply actions 0 recs
Coincidentally, I had the most sensual beef in Jacksonville last night.
by Biggus Rickus on Jan 24, 2008 10:42 AM EST reply actions 0 recs
Glad to see wev’e made it to the big board.
General Statement:
I’m also glad there was no inernet/camera phones/video/facebook, ect ect when I was playing for the rebs in the late 80’s.
Some things are best left undocumented.
by reb pup on Jan 24, 2008 10:43 AM EST reply actions 0 recs
Nutt is “mereley insane” for now.
Maybe he will get back to “batshit crazy” by the fall.
by reb pup on Jan 24, 2008 10:46 AM EST reply actions 0 recs
“Erotic chicken cant u see, thoughts of pretty u and me.”
My baby-making playlist is ruined now. I hope you’re happy.
by The Great Barstoolio on Jan 24, 2008 10:51 AM EST reply actions 0 recs
I know the owner of that club…went to high school with him. I swear to God I thought you were making that menu up until I clicked the link.
I should have known there was no making that up.
by the croominator on Jan 24, 2008 10:51 AM EST reply actions 0 recs
Gonzo with his harem of chickens always floored me… and when the “chicks” would come out with the little face veils i would completely lose it… and i’m talking about watching that in undergrad, not growing up.
by rjsplow on Jan 24, 2008 10:54 AM EST reply actions 0 recs
And for those that don’t know, Night Town is far, FAR away from the Square. Actually it’s on the West Jackson commercial loop, mixed in with all the Applebee’s and Chili’s and strip malls and what not.
by the croominator on Jan 24, 2008 10:55 AM EST reply actions 0 recs
Orson – you forgot to add that, at Twain’s, you are usually being threatened by a lady with a mullet and flannel shirt.
A douchebag nonetheless…but one that is probably sorely in need of using said product.
Eww – I think I just made myself vomit a bit.
by Eric on Jan 24, 2008 10:58 AM EST reply actions 0 recs
German chicken porn approves of this menu. And kudos to my alma mater, we’re on the board baby!
by Port City Gangsta on Jan 24, 2008 11:03 AM EST reply actions 0 recs
Graveyard in East Atlanta > Twain’s. x1000.
And there’s always the vastly underrated Corner Pub over in East Decatur Station.
by Bobby Decatur on Jan 24, 2008 11:14 AM EST reply actions 0 recs
there are few bar patrons i hate more than “pool guy.” i also hate “chick w/ pool guy.” they could remove every pool table from every bar in america and i wouldn’t lose a second of sleep. i’ll throw the shit outta some darts though.
by gerry dorsey on Jan 24, 2008 11:19 AM EST reply actions 0 recs
I sense an SEC onslaught this year to make up for being hammered in last years Fulmer Cup by the Big 10/11. I personally will be looking for Michigan to make a run at some point due to the history of sketchy Rodriguez recruits at WfV (Pat Lazear, Pacman & Chris Henry). Now those types will be having to ply their trade in Ann Arbor.
by Crabapple Buck on Jan 24, 2008 11:20 AM EST reply actions 0 recs
ps Great Barstoolio, my itunes says to say hello thanks for all the free lunches….
by Bobby Decatur on Jan 24, 2008 11:22 AM EST reply actions 0 recs
Crabapple – we have to get them to campus first. Take Michigan futures for the 2009 Fulmer Cup if you are sold on the RR theory, but most of the boys are still Lloyd Carr’s recruits (not that we didn’t have a good FC showing last year).
by maskedavenger on Jan 24, 2008 11:25 AM EST reply actions 0 recs
there are few bar patrons i hate more than pool guy.
I’ll add:
The Sink is Available Guy, whenever you are waiting in line at the rest room.Smoking Guy. This could be any number of bar douchebags who thinks holding a cancer stick makes them cool/attractive/interesting/whatever.
Golden Tee Guy. Anyone who’s frequented a bar with this game knows this douchebag.
by Brian O'Blivion on Jan 24, 2008 11:34 AM EST reply actions 0 recs
Night town is the trashiest place in oxford. The owner is king of the douche bags.
by JohnnyREB on Jan 24, 2008 11:42 AM EST reply actions 0 recs
Masked @ 16
Without Lloyd holding sway in AA over his miscreants mixed in with the new regime and animosity among the returning players, I predict chaos. I also agree that the Fulmer Cup 2009 future looks bright for UM, but there is still an off-season to play. Looking ahead will get you beat. Focus on the present.
by Crabapple Buck on Jan 24, 2008 11:44 AM EST reply actions 0 recs
brian o’ blivion,
in college me and my buddies referred to golden tee as “electronic birth control.”
by gerry dorsey on Jan 24, 2008 12:03 PM EST reply actions 0 recs
My neighbor is the bar manager at Twain’s in Decatur. He has to toss out at least three or four of those idiots per night.
by Alan on Jan 24, 2008 12:06 PM EST reply actions 0 recs
I hate “townies” in bars. The often overlap with pool guy, cancer stick guy, golden tee guy, and sink guy.
by Brian on Jan 24, 2008 12:15 PM EST reply actions 0 recs
Gerry Dorsey, very true. One particular douchebag at a bar I frequented in college would play this game with a fucking golf glove. Seriously.
by Brian O'Blivion on Jan 24, 2008 12:16 PM EST reply actions 0 recs
I have not been in a bar and heard “sink guy” since I was in college.
In college, it did make perfect sense at the time, I must admit.
Where are you guys going now, at whatever age you are but obviously post-grad, that you are still hearing from “sink guy.” Let’s class it up a bit, boys.
And I secretly desire to own my on Golden Tee machine.
But, let’s face it, if you are out for 4-5 hours, depending on what time the bars close in your area, Golden Tee will kill a bit of time while you drink unless you are one of those losers that goes around hitting on girls all the time.
Never seen the allure of hitting on girls at a bar, college does not really count because it is not hitting on them if you already know them, as it is crude and tasteless, and I would not want to marry any girl that wants to be picked up in a bar.
Fire away….
by Coop on Jan 24, 2008 12:30 PM EST reply actions 0 recs
You forgot ‘white overbite guy with disproportionately-hot chick’ Fuck that guy.
by Der Schatten on Jan 24, 2008 12:30 PM EST reply actions 0 recs
And, before anyone says, “who said anything about marriage,” the guys who constantly hit on girls at bars end up marrying one of them.
You know, you keep telling your friends that it is temporary until voila, there you are wondering how ended up with a girl with a tattoo of some retarded saying in Japanese on her upper back.
by Coop on Jan 24, 2008 12:32 PM EST reply actions 0 recs
Coop, not everyone who plays Golden Tee is a douchebag. But I’m sure you’ve seen the guy who takes it a little too seriously. That’s Golden Tee guy.
As for Sink Guy, he’s at every sporting event too.
by Brian O'Blivion on Jan 24, 2008 12:41 PM EST reply actions 0 recs
Sink guy is also at East-West in Athens on Friday and Saturday nights during Georgia game weekends.
Yeah, today, I hate Sink guy.
by Coop on Jan 24, 2008 12:48 PM EST reply actions 0 recs
#25, I met my girlfriend in the men’s room of a bar, a West Virginia bar, during a West Virginia game. You saying that ain’t classy?
by Herb on Jan 24, 2008 12:55 PM EST reply actions 0 recs
Yeah – sink guy is a prick. Especially the guy that pisses in a sink and then gives you shit for being uncouth when you rip one in the stall- while he’s still pissing in the sink.
In Dianne’s on Devine several years ago for you Cola guys.
by Out of Conference on Jan 24, 2008 1:45 PM EST reply actions 0 recs
- - For all of you non-Columbia guys and gals:
Diane’s on Devine IS NOT A BAR. It has a bar, but is supposed to be, for Cola purposes, an upscale restaurant.
Click on my name for the link.
Actually, it is quite good.
But the fact that there was a “Sink Guy” in said restaurant warms my cold, cold heart.
Ladies and gentlemen, I give you Columbia, SC: truly the armpit of the South.
by Coop on Jan 24, 2008 2:23 PM EST reply actions 0 recs
To quote George Costanza: “It’s all pipes!!!” (waves hands around to show plumbing)
by Brian on Jan 24, 2008 2:46 PM EST reply actions 0 recs
Let’s class it up Coop requests as he’s playing Golden Tee. How contradictory of him………
by Last Dragon on Jan 24, 2008 2:58 PM EST reply actions 0 recs
#30
You happen to know Angry "Eer over on LWS??
by She Felt 18, Officer on Jan 24, 2008 3:16 PM EST reply actions 0 recs
Awww coop, a full section of the menu for my favorite meat: Veal. That’s quite solid. Did sink guy come out and then ask a well dressed older lady if she was “gonna eat her fat?” ala Spaulding Smails?
by Brian on Jan 24, 2008 3:41 PM EST reply actions 0 recs
Well Coop, does that make Charleston the anus?
by SunDawg on Jan 24, 2008 4:16 PM EST reply actions 0 recs
- - Uncool.
As for the Last Dragon, have you ever walked into a “classy bar” before? I mean, a drinking establishment that was not connected to a restaurant?
I have been to two in my life in NYC, and paying $15 for a bourbon is not my idea of enjoyment.
Anyway, there is nothing “classy” about real drinking, as we all know.
by Coop on Jan 24, 2008 4:35 PM EST reply actions 0 recs
Great Barstoolio @ 5: for those of us whose baby-making play list was a little too effective, it’s going to be that bit more difficult to make it through Sesame Street with a straight face.
by DC Trojan on Jan 24, 2008 4:47 PM EST reply actions 0 recs
You just made my point Coop. You telling us to class it up is very much the pot calling the kettle. Which isn’t a bad thing. I would think most of us who hang out on this site would readily admit that we aren’t trying to be at the top of the “class” pyramid.
by Last Dragon on Jan 24, 2008 5:11 PM EST reply actions 0 recs
Ah, I merely meant that the sink guy has not shown up in my life since college, or East-West during Georgia game weekends.
I should have been more clear: I thought sink guy ends after college.
by Coop on Jan 24, 2008 5:38 PM EST reply actions 0 recs
“Anyway, there is nothing classy about real drinking, as we all know.” - truest statement of the day good people.
by Brian on Jan 24, 2008 8:05 PM EST reply actions 0 recs
Great menu; great photo. I make no apologies for prior sink “usage”, and I would revisit my past if the need arose. Sinks are saviors.
by PortTrojan on Jan 24, 2008 10:15 PM EST reply actions 0 recs
Coop-
Cola is NOT the armpit of the south. Sumter is with Fayetteville, NC a close second.
by yoyofutbawl on Jan 25, 2008 8:59 AM EST reply actions 0 recs
Comments For This Post Are Closed
Secondary Sidebar
FanPosts
Community blog posts and discussion.
Certain photos copyright © 2010 by Associated Press or Getty Images. Any commercial use or distribution without the express written consent of Associated Press and Getty Images is strictly prohibited.
