RECRUITING RUMORS YOU CAN USE!!!
The hottest in rumors from around the internets regarding recruiting! Who doesn’t love blind items!
–WHAT USC RECRUIT was wooed by Pete Carroll to USC by his promise of whole blood daily because he is actually A VAMPIRE???
–WHAT ACE RECRUITER was seen singing “Learn to Fly” on Rock Band at a recruit’s house and actually broke down in TEARS because his life at forty is a SHAMBLING WRECK OF WHAT COULD HAVE BEEN, making everyone present EXTREMELY UNCOMFORTABLE IN THE PROCESS?
–WHO WAS SEEN BUYING BEER FOR THE 13 YEAR OLD SISTER OF A RECRUIT in order to prove he was cool enough to still identify with the kids?
(Surprise! It’s Paterno!)
–WHAT UNIVERSITY will be investigated by the NCAA for recruiting violations after it was shown that boosters handed recruits McDonald’s gift certificates worth DOZENS OF DOLLARS during campus visits?
(Surprise! It’s Iowa State.)
–WHAT NOTED VIOLATOR OF TINY NCAA RECRUITING LAWS robbed an In ‘N Out burger with a five star recruit this weekend “just to share the pure, unadulterated thrill of quick cash taken by force” with his shocked young counterpart?
–WHAT FIVE STAR RECRUIT made a FAMOUS HEAD COACH pee sitting down in front of a rolling camera just to earn a soft verbal out from him?
–WHAT COACH violates major recruiting rules by water-skiing past recruits’ houses and waving…EVEN WHERE THERE IS NO WATER?!?!?!
–WHAT NOTORIOUS RECRUITER HAS HAD HIS FINGERPRINTS seared off surgically to prevent fingerprints from showing up on hundred-dollar bills shoved into recruits’ pockets?
–WHAT FIVE STAR RECRUIT is actually a BEAR IN MEN’S CLOTHING?
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DC - We love our kids greatly, but damn if I don’t look at the clock throughout the evening and count the time until their 8pm bedtime more times than I care to admit.
Comment by Out of Conference — January 23, 2008 @ 12:43 pm
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OC Phil @ 16 - that would require that I have the chance to watch it the next day. I stay up all hours because I live in a house with three females, 2 of whom are under the age of 6. The only unmolested sports viewing time is for SC games (non-negotiable*) and whatever I can catch after the small people are locked in their cages for the night.
*Along with World Cup and Euro finals.
Comment by DC Trojan — January 22, 2008 @ 11:32 pm
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#14 DC: Good God man, 3 AM for the WAC? I have two words for you: Tee Vo.
Comment by oc phil — January 22, 2008 @ 11:00 pm
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#13 - Herb, you know good and well you are about to get raped by Butch Davis.
Remind me again what Davis’ record was against BC when Miami was full strength?
RJ Mattes, and a vastly overrated Brandon Barnes aside (have you ever seen a Rivals 5 star drop to a 3 star before NDS?), you guys are never going to be anything significant.
And, more importantly, we will be better than both you and your superior brother, 24 miles down the road.
Comment by Coop — January 22, 2008 @ 10:31 pm
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–WHAT NOTED VIOLATOR OF TINY NCAA RECRUITING LAWS robbed an In ‘N Out burger with a five star recruit this weekend “just to share the pure, unadulterated thrill of quick cash taken by force” with his shocked young counterpart?
I was unaware that Larry Sellers was a 5 star recruit. Said “noted violator” should be warned that admission into school might be an issue considering Larry’s social studies scores.
Comment by SavannahDawg — January 22, 2008 @ 5:57 pm
14
Biggus Rickus @ 5 - I’m often up until three watching a WAC game anyway, so no big change there.
(I don’t have a college football problem, I could stop watching any time I want.)
Comment by DC Trojan — January 22, 2008 @ 5:40 pm
13
“–WHAT NOTORIOUS RECRUITER HAS HAD HIS FINGERPRINTS seared off surgically to prevent fingerprints from showing up on hundred-dollar bills shoved into recruits’ pockets?”
John “Black Santa” Blake?
Comment by Herb — January 22, 2008 @ 5:22 pm
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9. How can that be anybody BUT The Orgeron?
Because it said “WHAT … RECRUIT”
Comment by fallex — January 22, 2008 @ 5:01 pm
11
I don’t believe it for a second. A 13 YO girl would much prefer Smirnoff Ice. Joe knows what the ladies like!
Comment by JB — January 22, 2008 @ 4:48 pm