Norm Chow’s back. Invest in points futures. On a day when CNN is currently busy bombarding our ears with tales of the market taking a Duk Koo Kim plunge to the mat, one market remains bullish: PAC-10 points. ???, also known to you non-Mandarin readers as Norm Chow, returns to the college game as the offensive coordinator at UCLA.

Chow’s resume as an offensive coordinator defies descriptions not including the words “holy fuck,” but in his last stint at USC the Trojans won two national titles and produced two Heisman-winning quarterbacks. Year one will be hiccupy as always–first year offenses usually are, as Chow’s was in year one at USC–but due credit to Rick Neuheisel for not screwing up the obvious hire here. UCLA 2009 might be another stock you want to buy. (Though shy away from UCLA 2011, as that’s when Neuheisel will likely take an NFL job and leave a rotting log of recruiting violations.)

Speaking of recruiting violations……hey, Urb! This story will again go nowhere, but Meyer’s flexing some Neuheiselish flair by attempting to access recruits where it counts: through second hand genital contact, i.e. recruiting their girlfriends.

Again, there’s not enough here in evidence to nail Meyer on anything, and the NCAA won’t punish a program that matters for anything but the most flagrant and repeated of violations caught clearly on camera (or in Alabama’s case, on cocktail napkin.) But it’s another Meyer story, and they’re piling up right quick.

Meet your 2008 Defensive All-Hairmericans! Good to see the House Rock Built Up and hallucinating again.

SMQ does math so be warned, but his conclusions match what you already think: coaching matters, UConn makes a lot happen with very little in brand-name talent, and Florida State does a fine job minting doubloon level talent into wooden nickels.

And because it is the offseason……we bring you, apropos of nothing, Charles Barkley’s golf swing. In a perfect world, this would be the guy we’d vote for in November. Run, Charles, Run!