JOKER'S WILD!

What an honor.

The Retread Coaches Association is expected to file a grievance against Kentucky for not allowing any retread intereviews

There are three rules that I live by: never get less than twelve hours sleep, never turn your football program over to a guy named after a playing card, and never get involved with a woman with a tattoo of a dagger on her body. Now you stick to that, and everything else is cream cheese.

Tats Dept:

Women and tattoos?

Seems to me that a woman that gets some ink, even the dagger kind, is more likely to hmmmm… to be G.I. B.*?

• good in the sack

biggus,

if teen wolf is a good place to find words to live by then i don’t know what the hell is.

Joker Dept:

If Joker at KY is the next head coach, then where is the Clown going to be?

……Clowns to the left of me, jokers to the right….da, da, da, da,….or however that old song goes…..

That’s true, but at a certain point the goodness in bed does not cancel out the craziness. I learned that the easy way: by watching my friend date, marry and eventually divorce an overly tattooed hotty.

Private Pyle approves of this hiring

…an overly tattooed hotty.

In my opinion, these two things are mutually exclusive.

One cannot be “overly tattooed” and a “hotty” due to the proven fact that added tattoos diminish hottness.

Unless it’s one of those tattoos on the small of the back. Mmmmm….

Yes, but does Private Cowboy say?

From now on you’re Private Snowball!!

oooops, Gunny Sergeant Hartman, Senior Drill Instructor, said that, not Private Joker.

Rival,

I agree. Minus the tattoos she’d have been a hotty though. My view is this: A little tattoo on the hip or ankle? Kinda cute. Tramp stamp? You’re pushing it, but at least it draws attention to the ass, assuming the ass deserves attention. Big tattoo in the shoulder area of the back? You are bad at life. Everything beyond that is just an extension of the badness at life.

Private Cowboy Memorable Lines Dept:

Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: How tall are you, private?

Private Cowboy: Sir, five-foot-nine, sir.

Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: Five-foot-nine, I didn’t know they stacked s*** that high.

Pontificating on Tats on Babes Dept:

Marrying a woman that has tats up the rump, literally, might be ok for now, but can you imagine in a few years, when she gains the standard 20 lbs, and even more if she has kids. Oh My! that tattoo instead of being a bulls-eye would be a dead-eye.

I thought Heath Ledger was supposed to be the next UK coach?

Though no one can replace Nicholson in that role.

SKLM,

That would be a sad reminder of what used to be.

A co-worker I’ve been itchin’ to make throat babies with, in the past 8 months or so, got a ginormous tramp stamp tat of a butterfly, a titty job, left her fiance of 5 years, and has set a wedding date with his friend. In that order. I’m just glad I didn’t have to help her move into their new trailer next to fiance #2’s parents. Mr. Freakonomics needs to analyze the impact of titty jobs on pre-existing relationships.

Oh, and Byron Leftwich thinks Joker’s look is tizzight!

The tramp stamp is the goattee for women, except when they realize it’s a terrible, terrible idea…it’s permanent.

#6

Trying to make some sense of it all,
But I can see that it makes no sense at all,
Is it cool to go to sleep on the floor,
‘Cause I don’t think that I can take anymore
Clowns to the left of me, Jokers to the right,
Here I am, stuck in the middle with you.

Stealers Wheel

Ears, jokers and clowns dept:

#20: The best use of that song was in the Reservoir Dogs movie, where some dude got his ear whacked by Mr. Blonde, as he listened to the Clowns, Jokers song from SW.

#21, I thought it was the commerical for granny panties showing a line of thongs on a clothesline.

Because they were thongs. And I was like 13.

Seriously, there just aren’t enough guys with good nicknames out there anymore. Between Butch Jones, Doc Holliday, Trooper Taylor, and Joker Phillips, this has been a great off-season for the nickname-deprived.

“Lexington Kentucky?…Never heard of it.”

By the way “makin’ throat babies” is now in my lexicon from its previous usage on the comment boards here. God damn that’s a good phrase.

Obscure Simpsons-joke comment: Joker only got the job because Rules For Draw And Stud Poker Phillips didn’t want it.

Whose law? Your law or mine joker?

and I think Reggie Theus is in Joker’s running crew.

The exact quote is " Who’s law? Your’s or mine, joker"

GOD you suck.

You left out the most recent school to do a succession plan…..Purdue. Danny Hope!