JOKER’S WILD!
Kentucky’s gotten on the bandwagon of smooth succession set by Wisconsin and Florida State, naming Joker Phillips as the eventual successor to Rich Brooks at Kentucky.
Phillips is the current offensive coordinator and a UK alum who’s largely credited with turning the Kentucky offense into a scoring machine and tutoring Andre´ Woodson into an first/second round NFL draft pick in the upcoming 2008 NFL draft. (The freaky accent, though, is all on moms and dads, there.)
He also favors headgear that pays tribute to the oppressed Uighur people of Western China, which is nice. See after the jump:
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1
TIGERinATL (no LSU fan) says:
What an honor.
January 18th, 2008 at 12:48 pm
2
Jerkwheat says:
The Retread Coaches Association is expected to file a grievance against Kentucky for not allowing any retread intereviews
January 18th, 2008 at 12:50 pm
3
Biggus Rickus says:
There are three rules that I live by: never get less than twelve hours sleep, never turn your football program over to a guy named after a playing card, and never get involved with a woman with a tattoo of a dagger on her body. Now you stick to that, and everything else is cream cheese.
January 18th, 2008 at 12:53 pm
4
Stacy Keibler Luvs Me says:
Tats Dept:
Women and tattoos?
Seems to me that a woman that gets some ink, even the dagger kind, is more likely to hmmmm… to be G.I. B.*?
* good in the sack
January 18th, 2008 at 1:11 pm
5
gerry dorsey says:
biggus,
if teen wolf is a good place to find words to live by then i don’t know what the hell is.
January 18th, 2008 at 1:16 pm
6
Stacy Keibler Luvs Me says:
Joker Dept:
If Joker at KY is the next head coach, then where is the Clown going to be?
……Clowns to the left of me, jokers to the right….da, da, da, da,….or however that old song goes…..
January 18th, 2008 at 1:16 pm
7
Biggus Rickus says:
That’s true, but at a certain point the goodness in bed does not cancel out the craziness. I learned that the easy way: by watching my friend date, marry and eventually divorce an overly tattooed hotty.
January 18th, 2008 at 1:19 pm
8
Kernel says:
Private Pyle approves of this hiring
January 18th, 2008 at 1:23 pm
9
Rival says:
…an overly tattooed hotty.
In my opinion, these two things are mutually exclusive.
One cannot be “overly tattooed” and a “hotty” due to the proven fact that added tattoos diminish hottness.
Unless it’s one of those tattoos on the small of the back. Mmmmm….
January 18th, 2008 at 1:24 pm
10
Rival says:
Yes, but does Private Cowboy say?
January 18th, 2008 at 1:26 pm
11
Stacy Keibler Luvs Me says:
From now on you’re Private Snowball!!
January 18th, 2008 at 1:28 pm
12
Stacy Keibler Luvs Me says:
oooops, Gunny Sergeant Hartman, Senior Drill Instructor, said that, not Private Joker.
January 18th, 2008 at 1:29 pm
13
Biggus Rickus says:
Rival,
I agree. Minus the tattoos she’d have been a hotty though. My view is this: A little tattoo on the hip or ankle? Kinda cute. Tramp stamp? You’re pushing it, but at least it draws attention to the ass, assuming the ass deserves attention. Big tattoo in the shoulder area of the back? You are bad at life. Everything beyond that is just an extension of the badness at life.
January 18th, 2008 at 1:30 pm
14
Stacy Keibler Luvs Me says:
Private Cowboy Memorable Lines Dept:
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: How tall are you, private?
Private Cowboy: Sir, five-foot-nine, sir.
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: Five-foot-nine, I didn’t know they stacked s*** that high.
January 18th, 2008 at 1:33 pm
15
Stacy Keibler Luvs Me says:
Pontificating on Tats on Babes Dept:
Marrying a woman that has tats up the rump, literally, might be ok for now, but can you imagine in a few years, when she gains the standard 20 lbs, and even more if she has kids. Oh My! that tattoo instead of being a bulls-eye would be a dead-eye.
January 18th, 2008 at 1:36 pm
16
Rival says:
I thought Heath Ledger was supposed to be the next UK coach?
Though no one can replace Nicholson in that role.
January 18th, 2008 at 1:39 pm
17
Biggus Rickus says:
SKLM,
That would be a sad reminder of what used to be.
January 18th, 2008 at 1:42 pm
18
Allahver Fist says:
A co-worker I’ve been itchin’ to make throat babies with, in the past 8 months or so, got a ginormous tramp stamp tat of a butterfly, a titty job, left her fiance of 5 years, and has set a wedding date with his friend. In that order. I’m just glad I didn’t have to help her move into their new trailer next to fiance #2’s parents. Mr. Freakonomics needs to analyze the impact of titty jobs on pre-existing relationships.
Oh, and Byron Leftwich thinks Joker’s look is tizzight!
January 18th, 2008 at 1:42 pm
19
Herb says:
The tramp stamp is the goattee for women, except when they realize it’s a terrible, terrible idea…it’s permanent.
January 18th, 2008 at 1:48 pm
20
JeffAU says:
#6
Trying to make some sense of it all,
But I can see that it makes no sense at all,
Is it cool to go to sleep on the floor,
‘Cause I don’t think that I can take anymore
Clowns to the left of me, Jokers to the right,
Here I am, stuck in the middle with you.
Stealers Wheel
January 18th, 2008 at 2:09 pm
21
Stacy Keibler Luvs Me says:
Ears, jokers and clowns dept:
#20: The best use of that song was in the Reservoir Dogs movie, where some dude got his ear whacked by Mr. Blonde, as he listened to the Clowns, Jokers song from SW.
January 18th, 2008 at 2:21 pm
22
Herb says:
#21, I thought it was the commerical for granny panties showing a line of thongs on a clothesline.
Because they were thongs. And I was like 13.
January 18th, 2008 at 2:47 pm
23
Eric says:
Seriously, there just aren’t enough guys with good nicknames out there anymore. Between Butch Jones, Doc Holliday, Trooper Taylor, and Joker Phillips, this has been a great off-season for the nickname-deprived.
January 18th, 2008 at 2:50 pm
24
Brian says:
“Lexington Kentucky?…Never heard of it.”
By the way “makin’ throat babies” is now in my lexicon from its previous usage on the comment boards here. God damn that’s a good phrase.
January 18th, 2008 at 3:02 pm
25
Will (the other one) says:
Obscure Simpsons-joke comment: Joker only got the job because Rules For Draw And Stud Poker Phillips didn’t want it.
January 18th, 2008 at 3:38 pm
26
Stephen Colboar says:
Whose law? Your law or mine joker?
January 18th, 2008 at 3:40 pm
27
Stephen Colboar says:
and I think Reggie Theus is in Joker’s running crew.
January 18th, 2008 at 3:41 pm
28
Mastershake says:
The exact quote is ” Who’s law? Your’s or mine, joker”
GOD you suck.
January 18th, 2008 at 6:22 pm
29
PurdueMatt says:
You left out the most recent school to do a succession plan…..Purdue. Danny Hope!
January 19th, 2008 at 10:00 am