The primary existence for a football program there is to preserve a reason for the schools well-regarded marching band and to get its ass kicked annually by nearby Deshler, which reserves its spot in the state title game in February.

Also, being the only “Trojans” to have conquered a piece of northwest Alabama, they’ve provided a constant stream of condom jokes for boys age 11-17 there for dozens of years.

So yeah, Go Trojans!

(Though, like DC Trojan, at this point in my child-rearing, future-tuition-saving days, I’d probably take *that* gig if the pay were right.)

* assuming he lives that long.

It’ll never surpass The Play in the annals of the sport.

Also, personal tests indicate that 2 children are enough to prompt the “it’s work” attitude if the local cost of living is high enough.

Millsaps was the home of the WORST 9-hole golf course ever. But it only cost 50 cents back in the late 60s (if you paid).

There is a third option: Both.

Fred Goldsmith coached at NC 3A high school Franklin for a few years after being fired from Duke and is now the head coach at Div II Lenoir-Ryne, both of which are actually more prestigious jobs than head coach at Duke.

Lesson: Don’t fuck with ‘Bama.