REGGIE BUSH DECLARES FOR NCAA DRAFT
AFP–Reggie Bush, the 2005 Heisman Award winner, has announced his intentions to use his remaining eligibility and return to the college game for what he calls “a year to recoup, prepare for the NFL, and show the world just what I can do as a player. I hereby declare for the NCAA draft on February 1st, 2008.”

Accepting offers: Reggie Bush.
Bush, a running back from 2003-2005 for the University of Southern California, said the decision was a difficult one, but necessary for his success in the long run.
“I realize that I need a little more time to prepare for the pro game, and will be accepting salary offers from D1 schools for the next month.”
When reached for comment, compliance director for the NCAA John Babbage had his doubts about the validity of Bush’s bid to become the first pro athlete to return to the pro ranks.
“First, it’s against NCAA bylaws to pay players, something we’re not sure Mr. Bush understands. Second, by declaring himself in the NFL draft after his junior year–and I’d have to check the rules on this, of course–he has likely forfeited his status as an amateur and has no remaining eligibility left.”
Babbage added: “I’m also pretty sure we don’t have a draft, either.”
Bush did not address these issues in a 10 minute press conference held in his hometown of San Diego. He focused instead on the advantages of returning to the college ranks after spending some time in the pros.
“There’s so much I’ve learned: technique, strategies, discipline. It’s all so much better now. I feel like after the two years I’ve spent in New Orleans I can bring a lot to a college club, both in me being a team player with knowledge to give, and in the fact that I’m older and faster.”
When asked about his financial situation, Bush shrugged off any concerns about returning to a lower pay scale at the college level.
“What people don’t understand is that you can make a pretty good living at the college level. Look at Saban, Spurrier, Petrino…these guys know what I’m talking about. I figure I’ll only be halving my salary based on the offers I’ve already got on the table.”
Bush then laughed. “And the money at the college level is a lot, lot better than you’d imagine!”
Bush made $3.8 million as a rookie for the Saints, and would be voiding the remainder of his $62 million dollar salary package by leaving the Saints for college.
“It’s losing money to make money later. As good as I was coming out of USC, imagine what I’ll be the second time around. I’ve discussed this with my agent, my family, and my girlfriend. It’s gonna pay off in the long run. I’m looking forward to being the best college running back in the nation again, and whoever’s willing to pay for it will get exactly that.”
Recruiting expert Tom Lemming said the case was a unique and revolutionary one.
“Well, he’s pretty much done what he wanted from the start, so I can’t see the NCAA doing anything to stop him from doing this, either. I really think Notre Dame would be the best fit for him.”
Bush’s girlfriend Kim Kardashian, reached by phone for comment, said: “College is for poor people!”
Kardashian’s enormous fake buttocks had no comment.
Pete Carroll, USC coach, had no comment on the situation, either.









1
Ground0EastLansing says:
How would Notre Dame get the first pick though? A trade with Temple for John Chaney’s Prostate? A trade with Eastern Michigan for a couple of Juggalos and a case of Faygo?
January 17th, 2008 at 11:18 am
2
spartanmike says:
Shouldn’t that be “USC coach, at the moment”? I think if Pete is nervous about what’s going on…
January 17th, 2008 at 11:21 am
3
DC Trojan says:
No comment from Kim Kardashian’s ass? Because I thought that her ass handled media inquiries, especially when her mouth is otherwise engaged.
I bet Notre Dame’s really regretting locking all that money into Weis’ contract.
January 17th, 2008 at 11:22 am
4
rjsplow says:
Ground0EastLansing:
A comment incorporating an ICP AND a Faygo reference gets my respect. That sound like a fair trade to me, provided that the Faygo flavor is “Rock ‘n Rye”
January 17th, 2008 at 11:40 am
5
Doug says:
Urban Meyer has already looked Reggie in the eye and told him that he wanted him.
January 17th, 2008 at 11:40 am
6
Ground0EastLansing says:
#4 – Agreed on the Rock ‘n Rye.
Also, EMU has to be one of the shiftiest schools not just in the Midwest, but the USA. Let me put it this way – did your school’s administrators try and cover up a murder in a dorm?
January 17th, 2008 at 11:46 am
7
Orson Swindle says:
No. Our friend Mike was the one who tried to cover up a murder in a dorm. Thank god it worked! Who would we get to fix our computer?
January 17th, 2008 at 11:48 am
8
Eric says:
I would’ve guessed Pete Carroll would be totally stoked by this…
January 17th, 2008 at 11:49 am
9
Mr Pelican Pants says:
I thought Reggie was one of Petes original “Beautiful Angels” along with Matt Leinart, Lendale White, Mike Williams, and a whole host of other mediocre NFL offensive players that used to be Trojans…
January 17th, 2008 at 11:53 am
10
Jimer says:
#5 you just made me laugh really, really loud, Sir.
January 17th, 2008 at 11:55 am
11
Ground0EastLansing says:
Orson, I feel like there’s a greater degree of difficulty to cover up a murder in Michigan than in Florida. In Michigan, you have to commit the murder, hack up the body, put it in garbage bags, weight the bags, rent a boat, and then drive deep enough into Lake Michigan to dump the body, but not drive so deep that you venture into Wisconsin’s part of the lake and make it a federal crime. It’s very tricky.
Whereas in Florida, you simply drive down to the Everglades, dump the body, where it won’t be found until Bear Grylls and Les Stroud have a survivor-off; and even then, you know one of them will use the body as a food source/shelter/fire source.
January 17th, 2008 at 11:58 am
12
Aerobab says:
Reggie Bush: Increasing SEC Speed Since 2008!
January 17th, 2008 at 11:59 am
13
yak says:
Orange Taylor III, the alleged EMU murderer, will probably plea it down to appear on Judge Greg Mathis. Cuz, ya know, Greg Mathis was a troubled youngster as well. Once murdered white women are finally found in SE Michigan, the story goes away.
January 17th, 2008 at 12:12 pm
14
Paragon SC says:
He’s coming back to complete some unfinished business, there is more money to be made with all those would be agents hanging around Heritage Hall and his parents need a summer get away house to – “get away from it all”.
BTW, anyone else think SC is going to get hammered by the NCAA?
I do…..hang on to your knickers ‘cause it’s going to be a bumpy ride.
January 17th, 2008 at 12:14 pm
15
Mr Pelican Pants says:
#11
In Michigan, there are no Alligators to actually eat the evidence, plus in Florida since they have alligators, you dont have to get your hands dirty with all that messy hacking and sawing, let the gator do the work for you….just stab the body about a hundred times and dump it near the dam of the everglades where the water is warmest and let some of the crocs in on it, there will be nothing left, plus all the iguanas and boa constrictors, rats, crabs, or take the body deep sea fishing and start a feeding frenzy, that works too…..ahhh killing sprees….those were the days
January 17th, 2008 at 12:16 pm
16
anon says:
Urban did indeed tell Reggie he was just what he needed. He then explained to every RB recruit in the nation that was only recruiting Reggie as a safety.
January 17th, 2008 at 12:16 pm
17
Allahver Fist says:
And alligators are throughout the state, so I don’t have to spend all the victim’s $$ on gas to drive to the Everglades. Plus, Big Cypress is full of them Injuns.
January 17th, 2008 at 12:23 pm
18
Brian says:
The idea of someone with implants in their buttocks is hilarious. “There’s no scar if you go in through the anus.”
January 17th, 2008 at 12:25 pm
19
DC Trojan says:
Brian @ 17 – are you talking about her ass or her film career?
January 17th, 2008 at 12:40 pm
20
Jerkwheat says:
Oh sure, Eastern students murder people, but at Central, we let our football players take care of such tasks.
January 17th, 2008 at 1:05 pm
21
Steve says:
Me personally, I think USCw is going to get off scott free. Tennessee got a slap to the wrist for the Tee Martin debacle, Notre Dame has never been on probation, etc. USCw is too popular a team to get an actual probation. Not to mention that they are in the SEC, which automatically disqualifies them from contention for probation.
To paraphrase an old joke: “The NCAA was so mad at USC for rules violations that they gave Alabama two more years of probation.”
January 17th, 2008 at 1:08 pm
22
PJ from NU in SF says:
Faygo rock and rye is OK, but I’m all about the redpop.
January 17th, 2008 at 1:20 pm
23
Dr. Neil Clark Warren says:
#15
Gators will not eat old, tainted flesh. Learn from other’s mistakes.
January 17th, 2008 at 1:24 pm
24
Ground0EastLansing says:
#20 –
To be fair, the murderer wasn’t an Eastern student. That’s OK though, Brian Kelly totally says he’s a good guy and everything.
January 17th, 2008 at 1:27 pm
25
Will (the other one) says:
USC should get some sort of probation for letting Reggie Bush think getting sloppy seconds from Ray-J is a good career move. I don’t care how nice Kim’s shelf booty is…Ray J hit it first and he pulled an R. Kelly on her too. Wouldn’t tap it even with Spurrier’s Dick (that’s the best “…with Bea Arthur’s dick” reference I can come up with post-lunch.)
January 17th, 2008 at 1:31 pm
26
SunDawg says:
Steve, Alabama deserved two more years, just for being Alabama.
January 17th, 2008 at 1:43 pm
27
Coop says:
Actually, #16 wins.
Geez, Urban is sleazy. I mean, really sleazy. Jamie Harper says he prefers to be the rich man’s James Davis and play in Orange Bowls, not…
yeah, who am I fooling.
January 17th, 2008 at 2:12 pm
28
Geaux Irish says:
Re: #21
ND got slapped by the NCAA during the early/mid nineties for the whole Kim Dunbar bit. She was considered a “booster” because she gave $25 to be part of a Quarterback Club and then had some fun with some players. It wasn’t that big of a deal, but the NCAA did apply some punishment to ND (I think they lost a few scholarships?). You can find the rest of the story via Google, et al.
ND was also in the news in the early 90’s for the book Under the Tarnished Dome, written by the same writer (hack) Yeager that wrote the recently released Tarnished Heisman book on Reggie Bush.
Side note: Yeager gets no creative points from me for using “Tarnished” twice in the titles of his books on college football indiscretions.
January 17th, 2008 at 2:50 pm
29
You Are Tebows' Lunch says:
# 21
To what are you referring in regard to Tee Martin.
January 17th, 2008 at 4:40 pm
30
oc phil says:
#9 No, the original beautiful angels would probably be more like Carson Palmer and Justin Fargas. They are both offensive players doing better than OK in the NFL.
January 18th, 2008 at 4:49 am