CAST YOUR VOTE FOR AUBURN'S NEW DEFENSIVE COORDINATOR

by Orson on Jan 16, 2008 4:20 PM EST

Power to the people! Or at least the illusory rub of getting to cast a vote, as Auburn fans can do for their new defensive coordinator over at the Gold Mine at the Birmingham News. Leading vote-getters thus far:

Dave Campo / Jax Jaguars /10
Vic Koennning / Clemson /7
Ron Meeks / Indy Colts /6
Reggie Herring / Texas A&M /5

Also, the following non-football nominees have received votes: Nick Saban, Bob Stoops, Kevin Steele, Major Applewhite, Charles Barkley and James Carville. We're throwing our weight behind a Barkley/Carville combo for press conferences and the inevitable tossing of Saban through a huge glass window, since that's Charles' signature finishing move, and because Carville would take Auburn to the Rose Bowl somehow just to turn down the bid--since he hates, hates, hates the Rose Bowl.

For the record, the Opelika police dog that bit an Auburn player has garnered four votes. Communication might be a problem, but if Joe Kines can communicate defensive strategy successfully in the SEC, anyone can.

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Write-in vote: Oregeron

Btw, we may some day get to watch a movie with both O and Houston Damn Nutt portrayed in supporting roles.

A little info on Michael Oher for those who have read The Blind Side: After being projected in the first or second round, Oher announced Monday that he would forego his senior season at Ole Miss and enter the draft. Today, it appears he has changed his mind. I guess he wanted his character to graduate in the upcoming movie.

I’d love to be the casting director on this thing. Lou Ferrigno would play Ed. Not sure who could play Nutt.

by MakersmarkReb on Jan 16, 2008 4:30 PM EST reply actions

The always devastating “inside trout”. Its unstoppable…….

by Last Dragon on Jan 16, 2008 4:36 PM EST reply actions

That Kines clip must be Orson’s Top 5 of YouTube videos.

by TideDruid on Jan 16, 2008 4:36 PM EST reply actions

Whoever played Roscoe in “The Dukes of Hazzard.” Or if you could, go back in time and get the younger Jerry Reed from “Smokey and the Bandit” (today’s Jerry Reed would be too old).

by the croominator on Jan 16, 2008 4:43 PM EST reply actions

. . .why not Trey Wilson, a.k.a Nathan Arizona, as Houston Nutt. Looks kinda like Nutt and Wilson was born in Houston. The hulk for EdO is perfect.

by Bruno India on Jan 16, 2008 4:45 PM EST reply actions

Hell, I’d like a remake of “Snatch” with Joe Kines, Coach O, Houston Dale Nutt, the lizard from Geico commercials, Jesse Ventura, Ric Flair, That Dog, and Billy Bob Thorton

by Mr Pelican Pants on Jan 16, 2008 4:53 PM EST reply actions

But Auburn’s new “spread eagle” offense will be so potent that a defense, and therefore a defensive coordinator, is unecessary….

by sabanite on Jan 16, 2008 5:08 PM EST reply actions

Unfortunately, Trey Wilson died almost 20 years ago.

by karlhungus12 on Jan 16, 2008 5:14 PM EST reply actions

That clip of the Cookie Monster never gets old.

by skinnyphatman on Jan 16, 2008 5:17 PM EST reply actions

Lets see, Charles would run up the middle ever play and tell his players to ’tufit out i usedto play ballon a cornfield son"…the names of Carvilles plays would be so long it would be humanly impossible to get the play on the field and the ball snapped in time…damn that guy likes to hear himself talk.

My vote is for the dog, for no other reason than he could keep his players in line.

http://thebigeleventh.blogspot.com/

by Big 11th Blog on Jan 16, 2008 5:22 PM EST reply actions

Since this is a write-in internet poll, I’m going old-school and voting for either Hank the Angry Dwarf or Mick Foley.

by John on Jan 16, 2008 5:24 PM EST reply actions

Go vote for a new defensive coordinator at the Gold Mine! Just like voting for the People’s National Championship, only somehow less legitimate!

by Tater Salad on Jan 16, 2008 5:55 PM EST reply actions

That dog wrote for Ron Paul’s newsletter.

by robert on Jan 16, 2008 6:03 PM EST reply actions

Breaking news from the Bham News: Applewhite to Longhorns (surprising no one, really).

How long before the “Borges to the Capstone” rumors start flying over the interwebs?

by This Is Your Captain Speaking on Jan 16, 2008 6:55 PM EST reply actions

“How long on those sausages?”

“Two minutes, Turkish.”

“It was two minutes, five minutes ago!”

by the croominator on Jan 16, 2008 8:36 PM EST reply actions

Gotta be Orgeron, then they could do a reality show of Tuberville and Orgeron and their whacky adventures. Like the Odd Couple for funny looking people that coach football.

by Thread Jack on Jan 16, 2008 9:02 PM EST reply actions

RE: #7

unnecessary only against sabanites. We will see if M. Brown will lend us Boom Mutha Fucker for the remaining….

by AULIVESNFTWORTH on Jan 16, 2008 10:42 PM EST reply actions

Inside Scoop – it’s Dusty Rhodes.

by NewAZTiger on Jan 16, 2008 11:39 PM EST reply actions

- the hot rumor is Noel Mazzone to Bama.

by NewAZTiger on Jan 16, 2008 11:48 PM EST reply actions

If Alabama hired Noel Mazzone, I would roll around nekkid on my front lawn laughing.

by Thread Jack on Jan 17, 2008 8:36 AM EST reply actions

Orson, if you locked Coach Kines, the Orgeron and Bobby Hebert in the same room for 4 hours, would the result be the Earth’s new universal language?

by Billy in Baton Rouge on Jan 17, 2008 11:27 AM EST reply actions

Robert at #13:

Brilliant. Just Brilliant.

by Steve on Jan 17, 2008 1:12 PM EST reply actions

I present the Oscar to TOM ARNOLD for his portrayal of Houston Dale Nutt!

by MIke on Jan 17, 2008 3:17 PM EST reply actions

Kinda late on this, I know.
But seeing a combination of “names” that included Charles Barkley, Nick Saban and the police dog gave me the best laugh I’ve had in a while.

by UtesFan89 on Jan 19, 2008 11:53 PM EST reply actions