CURIOUS INDEX, 1/11/08
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The Fulmer Cup is open. There WILL be a theme song. “Hung Like Reggie F’n Nelson” Brian, holla at ya lawya if you’re still willing to do the scoreboard. Now that Michigan is no longer a game preserve for slow white qbs, frosh Ryan Mallett is out and looking to transfer. Possibilities include Tennessee (long a friend of the leadfoot catapult type,) Texas A&M, and UCLA. The Tennessee connection is an interesting one because it’s predicated on the notion of Mike Debord possibly coming to take the OC job in Knoxville. We can only hope they mean the “3 and out” Mike Debord, and not the Tom Moore clone with the assassin’s playbook who coached the Capital One Bowl. $300K. Them’s the digits on the total amount of money Reggie Bush pocketed from failed sports marketeer Lloyd Lake while at USC, according to Tarnished Heisman, the very poorly named book from Don Yaeger about the Reggie Bush scandal. Why there’s any hue or outcry about this book is beyond us–it’s everything you already knew from the Yahoo! Sports stories plus some additional interviews. Oh, and did we mention a lousy title? There’s not even lesbian cheerleader action in this one, Don, unlike your previous work, now available on Amazon for as low as 0.28 cents. Dislocated kneecap and three torn ligaments is the knee disaster Shaun Carney endured in the Armed Forces Bowl. He’s getting surgery, but three ligaments? Jaysus. That one play turned his otherwise healthy joint into an anatomical Afghanistan. On an entirely unrelated note, take a moment to note the death of Sir Edmund Hillary, the first man to climb Everest who spent most of his life afterwards working for the Himalaya Trust building schools and hospitals in Nepal. Hillary was, according to almost anyone you’ll talk to in the climbing community, an extraordinary ordinary guy: humble, witty, and committed to leaving the world a better place. A good dude by any measure who did his best to help one of the most beautiful places in the world and its people. (In all seriousness, go there once it settles down a bit and spend some money. It’s fantastic. No ironies, no sarcasm. The minute they get broadband, we’re doing the blog alternately from there and our secret bungalow fortress off the coast of Thailand.)
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1
Out of Conference says:
Godspeed, Sir Ed!
What a wonderful soul. What a humble gent. When coming back to base camp, when asked if they made it, Hillary stated something like, “We knocked the old bastard off!” without saying it was he, or Tseung. Later in his memoirs (or a bio), he described the sureal event and said he did it without realizing it and noticed he was on the summit when he looked around and realized there was no point higher.
For some reason I always enjoyed reading about him- probably because he knocked off the old bastard on my birthday.
January 11th, 2008 at 9:47 am
2
drewky says:
He was a bad motherfucker.
January 11th, 2008 at 9:48 am
3
Out of Conference says:
Of course the article states the exact words of my summation.
January 11th, 2008 at 9:52 am
4
Biggus Rickus says:
Philanthropy, good guy, other caveats aside, what’s the big deal with this guy climbing a fucking mountain? You know why nobody had done it before? Because they died trying. You know why they died trying? Because climbing a big mountain is dangerous. It’s also an ultimately useless pursuit and ranks with living amongst bears on the scale of stupid things human’s do.
Also, I wouldn’t worry overmuch about Debord. For every seemingly inspired gameplan there are three utterly retarded ones. Which is still better than the Randy Sander’s three yards and a hail of punts strategy.
January 11th, 2008 at 9:52 am
5
bama_buck says:
I don’t care if Tarnished Heisman is a damn coloring book. From the perspective of a school who was corn-holed by the NCAA because someone wrote a shitty book alleging infractions, I’ll buy a copy, at least in theory.
I won’t actually buy one but I will continue to spew venom at media darling schools who cheat and get away with it.
Not that OSU is that much of a media darling after two high-profile butt whippins there is no doubt that USC recruiting deserves some looking into.
January 11th, 2008 at 9:57 am
6
AllWhoYonder says:
Biggus, I’d argue that while it is a seemingly “useless” pursuit, mountaineering embodies something which most people strive to achieve. The amount of skill, dedication, planning, and plain dumb luck that goes into successful ascents is incalculable. But the determination shown in even the attempt speaks to the naturally exploratory nature of humanity.
/stepping off of soapbox
January 11th, 2008 at 10:00 am
7
Great Caesar's Ghost says:
The only good thing about Don Yaeger’s previous “work” is that it painted Lou Holthhz in a not-so-pretty light. I can’t imagine this new one would be any better.
But hey…for 28 cents, it’s cheaper than cat littler. I’ll buy it so fluffy will have good reading material as she relieves herself of last night’s Fancy Feast.
January 11th, 2008 at 10:03 am
8
Eric says:
His next book? “Tarnished Silver: The Dangers of Not Polishing”
January 11th, 2008 at 10:07 am
9
the croominator says:
Just so we’re clear…was Bush one of Coach O’s “yawyawyawfoobaw” recruits?
January 11th, 2008 at 10:07 am
10
citizencrane says:
Looks like Richmond coach Dave Clawson is to be the OC and Tennessee.
http://www.sportingnews.com/yourturn/viewtopic.php?t=335681
January 11th, 2008 at 10:16 am
11
Russ says:
I guess the Buckeye’s night ended symbolically enough the other night. Check out this blurb from the Dayton paper after the game:
” ‘You hate to go out like this when things just went from bad to worse,” Grant said as he headed across the field toward the team bus. “This was my last (OSU) game; you hate to walk out like this.’
He didn’t.
A few steps further— still pouring out his heart while looking straight ahead — he stepped in a pile of horse manure left by the mounted police unit that had patrolled the field.”
Here’s the link to the article.
http://www.daytondailynews.com/s/content/oh/story/sports/college/osu/2008/01/08/ddn010908arch.html
Also, Godspeed, Sir Edmund. You were an inspiration over 50 years ago and a fine example following that.
January 11th, 2008 at 10:17 am
12
Bottagetta says:
The “Tarnished Heisman”? Is that anything like a “Rusty Trombone”? I figure its like stiff arming one of the girls from “Two Girls, One Cup”.
January 11th, 2008 at 10:18 am
13
Brian says:
“Heisman Trophy runner-up Darren McFadden was handcuffed by police and then released without charges after being involved in a “pretty rowdy scene” at a piano bar early Thursday.”
“rowdy” and “piano bar” — classic. Sounds like a scene from a western movie.
January 11th, 2008 at 10:32 am
14
Brian says:
Oh and BTdub – What is OJ’s Heisman if Reggie Bush’s is tarnished?
January 11th, 2008 at 10:34 am
15
drogue says:
#14- For Sale
January 11th, 2008 at 10:35 am
16
Jerkwheat says:
Oh nevermind that Ryan Mallett came straight to Fayetteville and is meeting with Petrino today. Nothing to see there at all.
That said, my gut feeling is still that he goes elsewhere.
January 11th, 2008 at 10:46 am
17
Allahver Fist says:
With the advent of Powersauce, mountains are mole hills these days.
January 11th, 2008 at 10:52 am
18
drogue says:
Mallett wanted to go to Fayetteville originally, but with the Mitchie the Kid circus he went to Michigan figuring to step in after Henne.
Now MM has played a year at UA, xferred, redshirted and will heave for Pete. Mallett is doing same. If he turns Hog there is a certain symmetry to that.
January 11th, 2008 at 10:53 am
19
blazin says:
You call it tarnish and I call it patina.
January 11th, 2008 at 10:53 am
20
Will says:
Orson, you omitted the school that Mallet is visiting this weekend.
January 11th, 2008 at 11:05 am
21
robert says:
I like it when I get some tarnished dome on a first date.
Also, people climb mountains for the most basic reasons–they (the mountains) are there.
January 11th, 2008 at 11:15 am
22
jakldawg says:
13: McFadden requested some Stephen stinkin’ Foster instead of a nocturne.
January 11th, 2008 at 11:24 am
23
Mr Pelican Pants says:
Lets see, big white teeth, Nepal, an architect of sorts…..is there a “Something About Mary” joke in here? I guess his work coulda been summed up, when asked about working with mountain climbers and sherpa’s, he simply states “Me? I work with retards. Especially Mongo staying in his cage…”
January 11th, 2008 at 11:27 am
24
woo says:
i think that’s 0.28 dollars.
January 11th, 2008 at 11:28 am
25
Mr Pelican Pants says:
Also, I picture that “rowdy scene in a piano bar” with some hooker wearing a hoop dress singing while lying down on top of the piano, then a fight from the Cannonball Run breaking out, with DMAC playing the part of Sammy Davis Jr, a priest, just trying to stay out of trouble til someone comes into range to punch…
January 11th, 2008 at 11:31 am
26
kleph says:
when you describe mountain-climbing with contempt, please keep in mind there is a vast degree of difference between hillary’s style of climbing and the “sport” it has become today. hillary, himself, was not a fan… from the bloomberg obit:
In recent years, Hillary railed against the environmental damage to Everest caused by ever-increasing numbers of climbers. Mountaineering had also lost the camaraderie that characterized its early days, he said in 2006, when as many as 40 climbers left a British mountaineer on Everest rather than attempt a rescue.
“The whole attitude to Mount Everest has become rather horrifying,” Hillary told New Zealand’s Otago Daily Times newspaper. “People just want to get to the top. They don’t give a damn for anybody else who may be in distress and it doesn’t impress me at all that they leave someone lying under a rock to die.”
January 11th, 2008 at 11:45 am
27
Mr Pelican Pants says:
What would make mountain climbing more fun, is if they were to put like prizes of cash, like 100,000 grand or something at various times of the year, randomly, so at least some people who lose their toes and fingers and noses to frostbite, still have some cash to show for it….seems to me most times its a bunch of rich people with too much time on their hands with cabin fever during the winter….should make climbing Everest the final test for some sort of Super Boy scout level or something..just watch out for the YETI…
January 11th, 2008 at 12:07 pm
28
Harvey Wireman says:
Those cotton-pickers that attempt to climb Everest know the unwritten rule: If you fall behind, get sick or whatever, you die. The basis of the rule is why put others at risk, knowing how dangerous the climb is to begin with. Is it fair? Of course not, but neither is life. would I climb it? Of course not, I am not stupid and Geritol does not work at high altitudes.
January 11th, 2008 at 12:18 pm
29
Out of Conference says:
“Geritol does not work at high altitudes.”
Neither does radial keratotomy-
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Beck_Weathers
January 11th, 2008 at 1:13 pm
30
Stephen Colboar says:
Mallet will end up at Arkansas.
Book it.
January 11th, 2008 at 2:32 pm
31
2L over the line, sweet jesus says:
Have you been to Nepal, Orson? Hung around Thamel?
January 11th, 2008 at 5:28 pm
32
Domer Guy says:
Yaeger bends for dick. What a hack.
January 11th, 2008 at 9:06 pm
33
Cameron Siggs says:
we’re studying for the florida bar here, and as sad as it is to note the passing of a truly amazing man, it’s accomplishments like Sir Ed’s that make us realize that maybe tackling the bar exam isn’t the worst thing ever. may his spirit live on in all of us, and may his countenance reign the world over. god rest his soul.
January 12th, 2008 at 4:42 am