We recap the ten most horrible moments of pure malicious fate today. That person in the mirror is following you and cannot be killed by bullets.

8. Bowling Green gets blowed up. You lose any glamour rating you had by ending up in the GMAC Bowl, you lose part of your holiday to a stay in Mobile, you probably lose a few days good conditioning when you gorge yourself on fried shrimp, and then you lose your football mind against a Tulsa team that outgains you by 333 yards and posts a 35-0 lead at the half of what would eventually metastasize into a 65-7 disexplodadecapitationationism.

It also helps when referees call nothing in the department of helmet to helmet.

Matt Sussman is disappointed in your effort, Falcons.

To be continued. That noise in your house can’t possibly be the walls cracking from the sucking force of a sinkhole. It’s probably just a hellmouth opening under the foundation, that’s all.