THE TEN MOMENTS OF PURE MALICIOUS FATE, 2007: THE GMAC BOWL

by Orson on Jan 10, 2008 11:48 AM EST

We recap the ten most horrible moments of pure malicious fate today. That person in the mirror is following you and cannot be killed by bullets.

8. Bowling Green gets blowed up. You lose any glamour rating you had by ending up in the GMAC Bowl, you lose part of your holiday to a stay in Mobile, you probably lose a few days good conditioning when you gorge yourself on fried shrimp, and then you lose your football mind against a Tulsa team that outgains you by 333 yards and posts a 35-0 lead at the half of what would eventually metastasize into a 65-7 disexplodadecapitationationism.

It also helps when referees call nothing in the department of helmet to helmet.

Matt Sussman is disappointed in your effort, Falcons.

To be continued. That noise in your house can't possibly be the walls cracking from the sucking force of a sinkhole. It's probably just a hellmouth opening under the foundation, that's all.

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I can’t wait to see the Rice band’s interpretation of this next year…

by Eric on Jan 10, 2008 11:57 AM EST reply actions

Ah the BGSU Falcons…

the only mascot I’ve ever drunkenly gotten into a shouting match with.

by Jerkwheat on Jan 10, 2008 11:58 AM EST reply actions

There aren’t many times when your AD frantically Googles the Nielsen overnights, hoping to prove that no one saw that game. But I bet this was one of them.

by DevilGrad on Jan 10, 2008 12:39 PM EST reply actions

props to dreadlock for getting up, grabbing his helmet, and trotting off the field when he should have been drooling and counting tweety birds around his head.

by gerry dorsey on Jan 10, 2008 1:17 PM EST reply actions

I sitll maintain when you are running as fast your body will allow you, there are going to be times when helmets make contact with each other. He actually timed it perfectly. Its football dammit.

by Last Dragon on Jan 10, 2008 1:26 PM EST reply actions